0:00 [Music] police say that a husband asked spell casters to hex his wife before she disappeared oh ████ she actually disappeared she actually disappeared is that a crime if if it actually worked spellcasters is not even a real class it's got to be warlock black mage what is a spell caster that's all of the above maybe they don't have one they only have one one skill they don't have they don't have all the other ones they can't teleport or like stop time they just do spells they're doing the spell from like a melee range or like a range range it was from melee range what's melee range like an intermediate range like right here like i could punch you yeah i thought it was like malaysia or something melee when you're in the military did you guys learn cqc maybe you played no it's not you don't
0:50 even know what that is dude you were in the military you know he has a syndrome this is what cqc is but we do because we played metal gear you just saw those tqcs i said yeah dude bro he wasn't in the melee terry yeah see wow thank you joe thank you i'm coming around thank you bailey terry look what you started anthony first of all watch what you're going to finish i don't know i don't know where that came from let's go uh so maya uh is her name she she went missing from chula vista california which is actually pretty close to san diego so i know it's san diego isn't it yeah yeah good good ████ that's on the border baby um she was planning her birthday she just vanished all of a sudden
1:40 um because the spellcaster that's what it was like so he told the police that he casted spells on her so first before the police uncovered this right they were just physically looking for this woman who went missing right and so they had search parties and they had friends and family and colleagues and people that she knew and they're all looking for her right and they called themselves team maya and they're going all around san diego like chula vista area the desert near the air they're like going all the way as far as the arizona border whoa yeah and they they were focused on this area because the uh the two had gone hiking there and larry was familiar with the area local media also followed the searches with the hope that maya might be found months later though um they they kind of um came to the the conclusion that they weren't going
2:30 to find her alive months later whoa yeah well you know you don't you don't want to say that initially because there's hope and stuff but i love a conclusion man yeah um so you know skipping down uh us a ways uh they they they found out that maya and larry had had some issues inside of their marriage and friends were indicating that these troubles had gone on for a little while and larry was taking some very unusual approaches to try to avoid a divorce such as he contacted spell casters in an attempt to get his wife to stay in the marriage initially so there are people on the internet like oh she wanted to change her mind yeah there are people on the internet you can pay them they'll like make a spell that'll make a more
3:20 attractive or some ████ right oh like on fiverr or something like on fiverr yeah i thought all you're supposed to do is like kind of like jizz on your fingertips and then put it on your neck and then your wrist that's love potion pheromones yeah i think when you're already in the marriage love potions don't work anymore oh ████ that's why you pheromones that's why you had to go to fiverr and you had to dude i love how fiber's in the mix now dude well dude one-stop shop man are they going to get in trouble for this who's going to take responsibility for it you can buy spells and then they'll email you the spell and you got to read the spell out loud through the email cast a spell to your you know or if you pay another five bucks they might read it for you and you go hey babe you gotta hear this that's the gold premium abracadabra that's the premium level yeah on fiverr so let's fast forward to october 19th 2021. according to authorities the month
4:11 before maya disappeared larry was all of a sudden getting increasingly panicked the spells were not working one message to a news spellcaster on fiverr larry wrote please punish may which is maya's like nickname okay and incapacitate her enough so she can't leave the house it's time to take the gloves off and let's do some real casting ████ that's what he says holy ████ so he went from those text messages dude let's try to magically keep her to now let's let's feedbound her so before he was spending like five mana he was like this time [Laughter] that's what happened it's crazy that's 10x yeah he spent 50 mana on this next spell right we should so authority's gotta tap his money to use a lot of ethers to recover authorities um have announced
5:02 now that the last known call that she made before she went missing on the day that she went missing the last phone call she made was to a divorce attorney oh ████ so the so there the police are are now led to believe that the spells did not work does he get a police or linton police they don't think the spells work yeah so he should get a refund right he's definitely going to be like i'm not going to do the spells i'm just going to kill her instead that's what this article is about it's about how this guy should get a refund from all you guys if they emailed you the spell already how do you get a refund if they already emailed you you can't email the back faulty service though you know what i mean yeah it just didn't work it's like it's like getting the coupon code doesn't ████ work you have to bring the back the sacred scroll of proof aka the receipt yeah or at least just give me my money back either or i'll take
5:55 did they find her no no thanks for putting a dapper on the ████ story we're having so much fun well i mean like the spell so no they should get he should get his money back and and more because not only did they like his wife back keep her no not only did they fail at keeping her around she completely disappeared the spell backfired yeah oh ████ something you guys said the wrong incantation i think that's what happened like in the spell book the pages were ████ stuck together or some ████ maybe they're just like well usually people want people to go away so we just thought this was one of those go away spells so we just did that on accident he did a runaway spell and it worked i imagine the moment where he like wrote this spell on his hand and then he came over but his hand was sweaty like oh
6:45 ████ what does that say well they also think that maybe what happened was the guys were using an old spell because their inventory was full so they actually couldn't have they were carrying too many herbs i have newts they couldn't put the new spell in their inventory because their inventory was already full they had to go actually like offload their inventory if they do that right the spellcasters were right ready you're right that's ████ bunch of supply chain issues nowadays yeah he sold him a ████ lemon for a spell like he's that ████ was salvaged that's ████ up dude he should have got a new spell did she run away or she she's missing i like to think she ran away he was he was he's been arrested oh so police think that he's involved but they don't have a body yet and they have basically traveled to an area they've they've ruled like like they've
7:35 honed in to this one place right two and a half hours from chula vista a couple square miles is where they're focusing on some camping locations that they're both familiar with on the anza breeze anza borrego desert or at the glamous california sand dunes in imperial county that place is dope and they're looking all around that area but there's so much land to look through that's a lot of sand glamis is a lot of that's just sand dunes and larry's not saying ████ so he just resists to refer to my spellcaster i mean she hated this dude so much that he that she just ran away and disappeared and she ████ abracadabred herself she hit her with one of these i disappeared oh nice classic i killed her you you think so but i like to play ████ i never saw any of that yeah you think he killed him is that in there it's not in here yeah that's not anywhere in here i think he loved her so much that he killed her ████
8:25 i'm kidding he's like if i can't have her no one can that's what happens yeah yeah i mean given how he went from like i'm gonna cast a spell to keep her with me and then he's like i need to cast a spell like let's incapacitate what other things did he try before he went to spellcast well i think he went to the wrong psychics how about communicate with her about making her more attracted to you yeah yeah that was an interesting thing that's a lost cosmic singing telegram if you could do that there'd be no single wizards left yeah that's true ████ are you talking about i don't know what the ████ you talking about bart do you have anything to add to this uh wizard stuff no or mana or anything yeah you're suspiciously quiet yeah you didn't say anything about mono you know where were you druid you don't know what any of the stuff is you know what a mage is yeah you didn't
9:15 have any of that ████ in the military kind of what kind of wars are we playing out there oh you're in the video games dude he's one of the dwarves or whatever you have a military guy yeah what kind of support do you get in the military you gotta have at least one wizard in your troops one at least are you guys making fun of me mages hey that was good i just thought what he said man that's cool yeah wait so did you ever play dungeons dragons or anything that kind of ████ no you're too busy kicking those kids ass flipping their boards over ripping them their cards up no i played it you rolled to zero that was it called uh dolls were like big two that's a little so it does that's what we play yeah yeah asians don't have things like mana and spell casters i don't matter for magic the gathering you probably beat those kids up huh nope i was like i was those kids no they're my friends they're my friends if asians don't have no mana or nothing like that how come this guy's busting a ████ gut about it he's never dude
10:06 he's uh he's hispanic oh yeah oh my god cool i thought he's cupid latinx please thanks i thought you were cuban or something [Music] [Applause] [Music] you
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