0:00 [Music] you know it's true what's true joe that i have the smartest friend in the whole entire world what's his name what's his name banana man action welcome back to careful boys we're very careful boys indeed and today we have nigel [Applause] nigel is known for playing uncle roger on the youtubes yes yes but i'm here as myself today yeah you know what how did you come up with with uncle roger uh well i i just kind of was riffing riffing that character out of my old podcast and then um and then somebody sent me the character was audio only at first that's on the podcast right oh okay i started doing like short clips on on tick tock and people like that and then one of my fans one of my fans sent me that bbc food egg fat rice video and i was like okay let's do a reaction
0:50 video to this because it's so i don't know if you guys seen it but it's like oh now i know what uncle roger is i'll stay here the whole time i was like oh i don't we even covered him on jk news oh wow anthony wasn't here that day right i guess i just made that up i don't know if we actually did that video on jk news but i think we did see that's what we did mandela affect me man probably did yeah he doesn't need us it's fine so um so when you when you i mean your own garage like you you definitely put people's meals on blast yeah they get pretty ████ offended but don't you think they deserve it though yeah celebrity chefs you know it's time for someone to you know take them down a few pegs and nobody's gonna talk ████ about chefs because people in the food world they want to work with those chefs i'm not in the food world so
1:41 i'll burn that bridge before it's been built yeah are you actually like into pluto do you cook and do all that stuff i'm very into food most asians are yeah that's true then i cook i'm a decent home cook i don't cook as much as i should because i live by myself but some of the basic things that they were breaking i was just shocked yeah putting jam and rice putting tofu in rice but he just shreds the tofu with his hands jamie oliver and just wax tofu into the rice and he puts chili jam in it or something you know my mom puts ████ jelly in spaghetti oh oh god yeah it's a chicken strawberry jelly grape jelly isn't that like something like will ferrell does an elf i don't know bro did she mix it with the red sauce or something everything yeah but she swears by she thinks it's the ████ magic elixir but i don't think she loves you steve i know she doesn't i want to try it you never taste a great party so it sounds
2:32 like it was just making grape jelly spaghetti but you don't taste it but is it a dessert or like a no it's a spaghetti but she uses it as like a sweetener i don't know what it's for she swears by it because marinara sometimes tastes sweet so maybe she adds it in that it's like a filipino spaghetti they definitely have sugar in the marinara they use ketchup don't they yeah yeah sometimes yeah they use all kinds of weird sweet ████ in there my favorite restaurants to use ketchup uh so so when you're i mean have you heard from jamie oliver and he's not uh so when when i posted that jamie oliver video my agent sent that video to jaime's people and i heard back from his team saying that mixed reactions from the team mixed reactions yeah that's the most british way of calling someone a ████ really yeah mixed reactions wow are you british no no i'm malaysian malaysian but he lives there he lives there i live i live oh you live in london oh it's from london
3:22 london yeah i used to live here i used to live in america i went to northwestern chicago i lived here for five years and then moved to london for a woman and comedy you know comedy stuck around women didn't got it that's all right i'm gonna move back i want to move back here man ladies you're not here for us or you have other things going on [Laughter] nobody please tell me you didn't come all the way here just for that we would be offended if you did yeah i'd be like that dude i owe you so much for your plane ticket yeah no no no i'm i'm on tour right now okay work so yeah but by the time this comes out i would have left l.a already got it i'm touring all the rest of this year so if you find me on socials you'll see my tour dates what do you do on tour stand up word man yeah uncle roger is my opener okay so i start the show as uncle roger
4:12 and then anchorage unfortunately 25 minutes a lot of cheating on people crowd work and then i come and do an hour that's so asian he saves money on doing both you know like he opens and he does the ████ final gets to pay his own and i pay myself in cash so i don't have to pay taxes there it is there it is until this comes out irs please don't look into my finances what are the challenges of touring well the challenges are touring i think that traveling is the hard part you know the amount of times you have to take your shoes off at the airport oh yeah is the security different depending on what country you're at yeah sometimes your laptops stay in the back sometimes your laptop needs to come out sometimes you need a mask sometimes you don't and it's all you know what i hate the when you go through those security each one thinks the rest of the world operates like that right so you'll take out your laptop and like the laptop
5:02 stays in the bag and i'm like not at the other city ████ they look at you like you're an idiot yeah they've never traveled i'm like you never i ████ travel all the time god damn it i feel bad for them though because they have to say the same ████ every 30 seconds yeah i would be so annoyed it could be someone's first time traveling and they act like these guys are seasoned ████ business gurus just going all over the world and ████ at a certain point don't you just want to go like i'll take the risk of a bomb just let me go through you know yeah no one's doing shoe bombs anymore you know sometimes they're condescending sometimes they're condescending too they'll be like um like so you got to take off all metal objects because you're going through the metal the attacker and i'm like damn what the ████ even though you're saying the same thing all day you don't go to the store and they're like welcome to walmart obviously you should be a store greeter dude it's
5:52 like dude they're saying it verbatim they're so pissed you know where they should have those security checkpoints walmart because the people there i feel like they're going to shoot out the whole store soon you know but if a shoe bomb went off at my walmart i'd be like oh yeah it's normal yeah especially when i lived in van nuys it's like i don't know about that so what happened to the woman in london which woman when you move there before oh yes please split up now divorce now but we're still you guys are married yeah yeah yeah got married too young man don't do it would that ████ do huh mixed reactions lady dude we're big on men's rights here i don't know if you know we immediately have your ████ back dude we can finally yeah we hate her it's been too long man i've been oppressed yeah so did you get a british did you get a british passport no no i said i still want a malaysian passport
6:42 you know it's kind of symbolic in a way right come in residency it tastes better is it harder to travel as a malaysian because my malaysian friends whenever they came here they had to do interviews they had to do all these things well here is easy for me now i have an o1 the artist visa for the u.s they call it alien of extraordinary ability really but uh it's easy for me to come in come in here now do they make you do a trick or something thankfully no okay what's your superpower when you get to the border or they just like make me laugh yeah they they used to they used to in the 01 they let me through but when i'm here on a visitor visitor visa they will ask what do you do where do you live all these questions and i've gotten detained before and they say it's random right but you never see any white people in that room you know
7:33 it's me and a few other uh black people mexican people like teardrop tattoos you know i'm like yeah it's pretty clear you're just profiling us you know you need to get like some decoy white people in to make it look like they're not racist yeah just crisis actors the one white guy that's in there is russian and you're like that don't count yeah yeah yeah you're not really white you think the teardrop tattoo guys are like ████ why do i get this tattoo god gave it away yeah how did they know i worked for sparkles man i'm just sad so you you love shooting on the celebs which we are we all i very much enjoy that by the way i love you ████ on jamie oliver because that guy i don't know there's something about him and i don't know him at all and there's sometimes you just don't like somebody just because he's the way he's what don't you like about him he's smug he's very smug yeah
8:25 there's a smug tude i guess and in the western world and to some extent l.a has this too everybody's so focused on eating healthy right everybody is vegetarian now you know that's annoying very annoying very annoying they talk about a lot why do they act like it's something new because buddhists been vegetarian for like a thousand years that's not cool though you know no but when a white woman does it holy ████ i gotta i want to see what she eats in a day that's one of the videos i watch you know the vegetarian ones you ever see those videos you should break down those people's videos of like these fitness people that go like what i eat in a day i would love to see you break that down you know he just did a good idea oh did you my bad i thought you were gonna i think you're like great another guy give me a ████ video i did he's gonna do that when he leaves he's like yeah oh he's a guy dude you should do this you're ever with your parents and stuff
9:15 like you got oh my god you have to you have to watch this video to review this one oh my god or your parents like hey go back to school i got a great idea for you okay no one's ever told you about this one i get that sometimes but you you did it a nice way oh thank you some people just force you to watch the thing on the phone oh that's like right at the party i also do that give me a couple minutes you know what you have to do and then you want and then it's a 45 minute video and then they facetime their friend they're like tell them what you got to do you like you've like overstayed your visa by the end of the video i want to be deported to get away from him damn i would have done that to you if i thought of that earlier i would have had everyone in here we would have started this video and every one of us would have shown you a video you should look at this cooking video today's video is brought to you by upstar it can be hard
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10:57 credit score you can even receive funds as fast as one business day after accepting your loan don't wait and check your rate today at upstart.com off the record that's upstart.com off the record to check your rate today don't forget to use our url to let them know that we sent you loan amounts will be determined based off your credit income and certain other information provided on your loan application go to upstart.com off the record and see how long you last until you ████ did you see how nice he was though to nick he was like i should do that i should and he slowly turned his chair like this yeah exactly yeah anyway i'm gonna talk to this side of the room who the ████ is this guy how many stops have you made uh in america so far chicago philly new york dallas what's your favorite city out of all those and what's your least favorite who's the best crowd oh best crowd i know the worst crowd that's easy san francisco
11:48 bunch of nerds [Laughter] they're quiet nerds they just was just so quiet until i did some crowd work and my current question was so how many monitors do you have at work and then the whole club just came alive laughing monitors one ipad so sometimes three if i have an ipad on that it's one of the monitors i turn them vertical they're all ████ engineers oh i love that god that's pretty funny what a nightmare jokes about github do you guys know what that is no because you're normal that sounds familiar website yeah oh so i have to explain what a divorce is using programming terms you know oh my god you know on github if you if a branch has a conflict you can't merge you know that's see you guys didn't laugh with just a normal reaction they probably thought they might have thought it was a ted
12:38 talk [Laughter] there was like a keynote speaker you know unveiled some new iphone or something she wore a black turtleneck that would have been fired i don't know san francisco it wasn't remember we used to go up there back in like early 2000s and they just had normal ass people yeah they're all nervous they're taking you down now that's it please still buy tickets san francisco i love you guys he's like i'm coming with a bunch of new tech jokes next year all the jira trello bitcoin stuff coming at you and then favorite city favorite oh la's up there definitely yeah chicago too you know nice why do you like l.a i don't know just a lot of asian people love asian food you have a whole region of town that's just chinese people yeah yeah just vietnamese people right the highest percentage of amazing asian and
13:29 california this city yeah specifically this one monterey park okay but what do you think about vegas i haven't been to white vegas man you have it that's it no i know bart likes it that's it what do you think maybe a shooter shoot at uncle roger he loves the vegas video oh hello there's so much for you yeah no we shouldn't do food man i'm going to go to like a strip club or something review a strip club going to the world's largest strip club or at least it was what they said it was yeah sapphire yeah they have two-story strip clubs too wow then yeah well yeah they don't have stairs it's all pole oh ████ it used to be a car dealership and they turned it into a huge strip club oh and it was pretty wild do they keep the car dealership stuff like the the balloon guy still there it's just in the bikini they yeah the balloon yo the balloon got it just says tits now he goes on at 10
14:20 30. and in the tits i'll go like crazy dude and the tassels on the end fire just the person who has to sew that together right when they bought it they're like i think we can use this yeah let's keep this yeah l.a is cool man because i live in london right and like the asian scene there is abysmal man oh yeah it's like so many decades behind it feels i think asians haven't been there that long i think most of the asian don't quote me on this but i think most of the asians moved there in the 70s but asians here have been in america yeah you're right because out there i was like oh chinatown looks like disneyland it is it doesn't look like chinese people live there no nobody it just looks like a like a theme park like a tourist place yeah and it's in half of the restaurants and things aren't chinese they're like japanese it's just asian land there's a lot of indian people there yeah it's all indian i mean don't say it like that you said it like it was a bad thing it's a lot of india
15:10 no it is you know you gotta check your own ego you know what i'm saying that's how anthony feels about you guys but the indian food out there is so good i can't find places here in the oh america sucks at indian food but you know asian food is better indian food indian food's so good indian food is the british food what's your take on bread yeah it sucks right oh british food you think you have covered because you can't smell it the whole country just should just be called long covet man were you able to figure out why that is after living there so long like why is the food so bad they never had a big food culture they uh there was a lot of poverty and then they had a lot didn't have a lot of fresh food so they kind of excuses i know like the world has changed don't they got that whole british baking thing now the big office yeah that's the part i think they make
16:00 good baked stuff like breads no europe makes better breakfast yeah everybody yeah you're right doesn't everybody make bread every ████ buddy even my mom makes bread and she puts grape jelly i hate it man they make good butter and toast come on dude i think too if you want to raise a kid here don't know where he's in london raise a kid in here it's better for their mental mental mental health raiser asian kid you know yeah yeah they feel like they it's easier to feel like they belong you know i think i grew up in malaysia everybody looked like me so do you have a kid no no no no no no no with roe v vade but wait being overturned hey let's go let's do it let's go huh yeah you might not have a choice yes i'll fly them out to london and they'll jam a coat hanger in them it's legal there i like it we were like whoa and then you're like okay that's a great thing women get to have a
16:50 free trip to europe you know and an abortion oh there you go fly them up you know sugar daddy someone how long you've been living in london for uh six years seven years now oh um have you done like stand-up and stuff out in malaysia yeah yeah i've done so many countries now man yeah yeah yeah there's other places where you're like because you know i said i'm in chicago actually so i went to singapore and they're like you know doing bits and stuff with people and they're like yo you can't talk about the government yeah we got in trouble for saying well you didn't get trouble they're just like you're like yo they're like we're on a radio show and they're like hey guys so how do you feel about you know pursuing your passion or going to university and things like that and i was like i don't really think everybody needs to go to school if that's not their thing and they're like hold on can you not say that and i'm like you asked me my goddamn opinion what the ████ freedom of speech means something else over here has that happened you know where you bought uh no no i think live performance you get a
17:41 bit more leeway but there's certain countries like when on this tour we're trying to book dubai and my twitter manager is like uh you can't curse there i'm like that's no let's not book it i can't be bothered you know you have to like change it you can't be in the moment because sometimes you you and use the f word to enhance certain jokes right and then you have to remember to not curse and if you curse you get fined i don't know maybe you get fired maybe there's some guy just standing in the back of the room looking at you i don't know what's gonna happen so i just let's just skip that country me and joe played at some churches before and that was pretty interesting that just sounds like an oxymoron right there what is it comedy at a church yeah because they're like you can't say bad words you can't say whatever and then we just kind of made it a game around because then once you have that and you lower the ceiling then words like butt is all of a sudden funny uh it's just like because now it's like you
18:31 just say you are you like us you know like you just reference something else like burrito or something instead of saying penis and oh they go crazy is the guy just lifting off foods the thing between your legs you know the burrito oh you're healed that's like a good show though yeah i would try to watch that yeah but dubai sounds different because when they say like no bad words they really mean it you go to jail right right right well you got to be rich rich right because i know people who go to dubai all the time and but they're rich rich and they go to whatever the ████ they want they poop on girls they poop they poop on models bro ig models though i fly them out and they poop on them they really like it oh it's called human fecal matter according to johnny depp oh there it is
19:21 what do you think about meghan markle's huh she's ruining that whole thing i know i think i think the queen is like when she complained of being racist i'm like do you not expect that they're like all white british people you know like i mean the queen should be a little bit racist that's the whole point that represents if the queen was woke that that won't work imagine if the queen had purple hair one day just came out and been like oh yeah i am now a non-binary woman neither queen nor king just theme yeah just your highness yeah i'm your lowness now what do you think of nando's nando's ah ████ man ████ really i love nando's and they overcook that chicken okay all right fair enough you know it is what it is hey what's your guilty
20:11 pleasure you know what i'm saying like you go to your sneaker panda panda express yeah you just need a little bit like american chinese food dude you know what i like i like um goldberg you know lucky charms like cereal oh it's pretty good yeah it's pretty solid isn't it but it's my children for children though we eat it too have you ever just been caught eating chicken nuggets or something and they're like uncle roger hey in the uk you drive home from a show sometimes that's the only thing that's open chicken nuggets chicken selects at mcdonald's you know that you guys still have chicken selects they discontinued out here don't they got the curry sauce for the nuggets in london though yeah they don't do them here anymore i think most people here can't really say that yeah yeah nuggets nuggets yeah nuggets it's hard yeah can i get the big just like the big nuggets
21:02 what is chicken select just chicken tenders yeah they don't do them anymore oh they don't do those i never ordered it but they don't do those it's probably too much real chicken that's by the way real quick they're bringing back the mexican pizza taco bowl that's ████ they better ████ go let's do a taste test i've never had one before i never had that mexican pizza from taco bell you didn't die okay i'm sorry come on just end the video [Music] so
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