0:00 No, he didn't. >> asking. I don't get it. I don't understand what you're talking about. >> yet. I don't think this guy ████ a lot. Welcome back to Careful Boys. Today we're giving all the boys tips for when you don't want to ████ You're not in the mood. You're not vibing. How do you How are you going to get out of it? >> fall asleep. >> You think? What if you just got this new PlayStation game and you're like, "Oh, I can't wait to play this game, boys." And then your chick's like, "Hey, tonight blah blah blah." And you're like, "Oh, but babe." You're not going to say it's the game. >> No, but you don't just ████ and then go back and play the game. Like when do you You don't TAKE EVERY OPPORTUNITY THAT you can to ████ >> You only want to play the game. >> Hey, what percentage of people do you think this is relatable to? >> Everybody. Everybody. >> Cuz look, he's not relating right now. Look at his face. >> [laughter] >> He's like He's like, "Wait, so people don't want to have sex sometimes?"
0:51 >> It's impossible. >> Hey, this should just be a conversation between you two on the opposite spectrums. >> Yeah, this is just for me and Anthony. Everybody else don't talk. >> So you're saying when we were like before marriage? Hypothetical. >> Absolutely. But But like How about you're just not in the mood personally or whatever? What do you do? Like How do you How do you swing it? >> Man, YOU ████ LET HER ████ YOU. >> [laughter] >> THAT'S NOT YOU'RE LETTING HER THOUGH. >> YEAH, but I mean it's kind of like just put up with it. It's only a few minutes. I come fast. >> Put up with it, sick. >> Hypothetically, Joe. No real answers. >> Hypothetically? All right. No, this is a real answer. I'm going to give you a real answer. I I Well, I always want to do it. But then if I'm too tired, I just sleep wherever I'm at. If I'm on the floor watching TV, I'm ████ done. If it's like, "Hey, we're going to ████
1:41 later." Let's do it. Right after dinner, I get on the couch and I ████ knock out like that. And I literally do. And I I'm just too tired to ████ >> Do you say that though? Or do you just live it? Do you say it or live it? >> If she woke me up and then said, "F███ me." I would have done it. But then she leaves me alone. So I I stay asleep. >> And then you'll just sleep there all the way till the morning? >> Yeah. >> Oh ████ you're really tired. >> That's like you're already in REM. >> I'm like this. >> [snorts] >> And I wake up and I'm like, "Damn it, I should have f█████." >> Nice. >> Damn, that's crazy. I don't think I've ever not slept in my bed if I'm at home. >> Really? You can't sleep anywhere? >> No, like if I like let's say I I fall asleep in my couch, right? I knock out. I'll end up going, "Oh ████ what the f███?" And then I go to my bed. >> Wow, you can't do a full night's sleep on a couch? >> I've never got a full night's sleep not in my bed at home. >> Me, too. >> I have a sick couch, though.
2:31 >> that? >> I I autopilot back to my bed like like a ████ homing beacon. >> You could do it without showering? >> I don't even know when I did it. I just do it in the middle of night. I sleepwalk back to the bed. >> So you can't do 8 hours of sleep on a couch, floor, anything else? >> I'm too big, dude. It sucks. >> Oh, you're just not comfortable. >> I'm too big. >> Well, no, cuz wherever I'm at, it's just not going to be comfortable. It'll ████ with my neck or whatever. So like, yeah, it's just not going to be >> Oh, that's right. And then the whole next day you can't even do ████ >> That's exactly it. So it's not worth it. So I think I kind of inherently know that and so I get myself back to bed. >> Yeah, so if you want to if you don't want to ████ next time, just >> [snorts] >> and just pretend that you're sleeping. >> Dude, I can pull into the garage and just take be like, "Hold on a sec." And I can just sleep for like hours like that. >> The whole and then wake up in the morning in the car? >> No, not eight. Not eight. But I can do I
3:21 can just go Let me just take a second. >> Isn't that one of the most dangerous places? >> In the garage, in the car? >> Yeah. >> But if your car's off, though, right? >> Yeah, it's off. But >> Especially your car, dude. Car's waking up the ████ neighborhood. >> I can just I can just like take >> Can you imagine? >> Oh my god. >> That's basically the beginning of uh Hot Tub Time Machine. >> Good point. >> Yeah, no. I wouldn't do that. But yeah, I can sleep like on this couch. I could probably sleep 8 hours. 8 hours easy, right? Yeah. >> I think I don't think we've ever had a You I think the the the time the amount of times that I've not been in the mood um where she's in the mood is pretty low cuz either we're both ████ exhausted so we both try to do something this week but we both just are tired or we we
4:11 really try to make it happen. >> Yeah, and then you while you're trying to make it happen, you're sleep ████ and then you fall asleep. >> I've done that. >> And then you wake back up and then you pump some more and then finish. >> And then like the girl's like, "Are you falling asleep?" And you're like, "No, no." But like I ████ was, dude. >> [laughter] >> That happened me one one time and that's it. I learned my lesson. >> Yeah, but it's so much cooler after you have been in in a relationship for a long time and you're like, "Oh ████ I just fell asleep." >> Oh, like if you're like in love? >> That's some intense love making. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you just admit it, "Oh, sorry, babe." >> But that's the thing is it's so By the way, it's so weird to like cuz you're with a newer chick or whatever and then she's like, "Did you fall asleep?" And then you're like, "No." >> [laughter] >> Cuz she's obviously like saw something go down. She's not just like, "Oh, well, that's Oh, good cuz everything's great." >> That's not a easily misconceived like thing, yeah.
5:01 >> Or you just twitched. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, she's like, "You passed out for a second." >> What's worse, would that or or this or that? Uh "Did you already come?" >> No. >> Wait, what the ████ Explain this, please. Are you crying? >> [laughter] >> Explain that thing. How does that work? >> She thought you came already? Cuz you went, "Oh." >> Wait, what do you mean? >> He goes soft, he's saying. He goes soft. >> That you did and you're saying and you're lying What has it work? >> It's hypothetical. >> No, I know. In the hypothesis. >> Just because I said it a couple times. >> But how's it work in the hypothesis? Like what's the scenario? >> He goes all of a sudden he goes from hard to soft. >> Oh, and then she asked, "Did you come?" But you And which you did? >> Yeah, >> [laughter] >> that's the hypothetical that we're talking about. >> No, he didn't >> I'm asking. I don't get I don't understand what you're talking about. >> He didn't came yet. >> I don't think this guy ████ a lot. >> [laughter] >> I think he ████ the most. >> I think it's cuz I think it I think it's
5:51 it's like he he got mistaken for coming cuz he's still going, but he's soft. He's like >> losing the the rigidity? I see. >> We're talking about it in the the fact that I have to explain this. We're so ████ dumb. >> confused, too. I'm >> I thought you were explaining it like talking about his his example was the like did you fall asleep and you clearly did and the fact that you lied about it is funny, right? So, if you change sleep to come, did you come? You're like, "No, but you obviously did because like the sleep analogy >> Oh, okay, okay. See See, they acted like they got it if they even Joey didn't even get >> [laughter] >> I thought I got it. >> We have disappointed some women in our time. >> Because that I didn't know if you meant you did come or you just lost the hardest and you're trying to play it off. >> That's what I thought. >> That's what I thought, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> That one happens more. >> [laughter] >> I never do the first one, but that
6:42 second one all the time. [laughter] >> Because you know what's funny? The reason I was asking is cuz I think that's hell of funny to if you lost your hardness [laughter] and they go, "What happened?" You're like, "OH, I CAME." BUT IT'S LIKE YOU MADE NO kind of like You weren't like, "Oh." >> You're all just trying to make her hot. You're like, "You made me come so fast." >> But but then how funny if you feel like you're about to lose it, so you just start acting LIKE YOU'RE COMING? >> [laughter] [screaming] >> THAT'S CRAZY. >> THAT'S WHY I WAS ASKING CUZ that's hell of funny to be like oh oh >> And then you pull out an empty condom. You're like, "Oh, I guess I came inside >> [laughter] >> my my my penis." >> Oops, you have to worry about this for a week now because I'm lying. >> You guys You got any Plan B? >> Wait, has that ever happened the other one happened to you before? >> Where you have to pretend that you you came sleep and just finish?
7:32 >> you came and then do you She was like, "Did you come already?" And you're like, "No." >> I never lie. >> So, you just say Well, it's a compliment when you like, "Yeah, right?" >> So, if I come already, I'm like, [laughter] "Oh, ████ I just came. All right, let me work on you now." And then I'll wait till it gets hard again. >> That's tight. See, look, that's a gentleman. >> You don't just go to sleep after you're done? >> Nowadays? >> You can't do that with Latinas. >> Nowadays? ████ I want to sleep all the time. Wait, so let me work on you now. What do you do? You get down there eat your own ████ up? >> Yeah, yeah, I just lick my ████ UP. >> [laughter] >> HELL YEAH, BOY. >> THAT'S [laughter] WHAT HE SAID. >> SO YOU HAVE like a laundry list of excuses to tell Nikki? >> No, you're just like, "I'm so >> I can't imagine you had like >> I was No, so the other night we were watching Survivor and like we were both we both kind of looked at each other we're like cuz we're like we're we kind of talked earlier like we're going to ████ tonight. And then we were both
8:22 looking at each other like this is pretty juicy. We should probably just keep going. >> Oh, it's pretty getting pretty good. Yeah, okay. >> Yeah, it's like it cuz it's too good. Like and I know that if it's going to be like 11:00, she's out and like there's no point of even trying cuz she'll be passed out. And I was like, "It's 9:45." I was like, "Do we just go for another Survivor?" >> [laughter] >> You know what I mean? It's like like, "Are we naughty boys tonight? Are we going to go for another Survivor and say ████ it?" >> What happens? >> That's how good it must be. >> Yeah, it's ████ good. >> ████ is good and you get reminded when you actually start ████ but then to get there, it's not you're not a rabbit dog anymore. Like what happens? >> Oh, like your sex drive dropping? Like that? >> Yeah, but then when you're actually But when you're getting your dick touched, YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, I REMEMBER. My memory's back." YOU KNOW? >> [laughter] >> I REMEMBER WHY I got with you, you know? >> You're like Jason Bourne, you're like,
9:12 "I remember everything." >> Yeah, but if you're not there, you're just like, "I rather watch a ████ Love on the Spectrum video." >> Because it's supply and demand. I think that we we we can get it more now, so we go like, "F███ it, dude. Survivor night. Let's finish strong." >> Or it's like the post-nut clarity. It's like the opposite of that. >> Pre-nut clarity? >> Yeah, I guess it could be, yeah. >> Pre-nut dirtiness. >> I have pre-nut clear. With your penis. >> [laughter] >> Is that why guys just want to ████ like new? Like they It doesn't matter if the girl's hot or not, it's just new girl, new girl. So, they just want to ████ a new girl? >> [laughter] >> I don't even know where that tangent was going, but keep going. Please keep going. >> Can you just do it one more time, though? >> Yeah, no, there's probably I think that's true. >> right? >> what you mean, yeah. >> So, it's like if you you have like a
10:04 wife at home or whatever, right? And if it makes it easier if like you're not even like in on good terms. So, then now like here's this new girl that comes around and then it's like, "Well, I haven't ████ this one yet." But she might be way uglier than your wife, but like it's like but she's new. >> Do you believe in that that there's a biological thing in men cuz this gets preached a lot. Is there a >> [laughter] >> I don't even know what he was going to say. >> He I dude, that's good. There's like a thing where like is there a biological thing in every man's brain and and like kind of in their whole like system where there's a conquest uh mentality where you need to spread your seed? And you have That's why you want to keep having sex with like new people with >> Yeah, that's biological. >> of what you haven't conquered is sometimes more exciting, thrilling. >> monogamy is our social, it's what we are
10:56 cons Yes. >> Yeah, that's our social construct, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Yeah, so we're just fighting our natural biology. >> That's how we made society better, basically, yeah. Our natural biology is like if you are attracted to something like what would you do? >> Yeah, exactly. >> Yeah, like are you are you a predisposed to want to try new vaginas? >> Hell yeah, we're men. >> Yeah, all dudes are. >> It's like this. >> You look like you didn't get it. You're like, "Hell yeah." >> CUZ MY MY BRAIN WENT LIKE THIS, like >> [laughter] >> I like hamburgers, but I'm never going to want stop liking hot dogs, tacos. Like And then women is just food. It's like it's just you need them for life. >> And by the way, I love hamburgers and every time somebody says, "No, this is the best hamburger." I'm like, "I got to ████ try it." >> Hey, I know what you mean. I like hamburgers and sometimes I want a hot dog. >> Oh. Wait, that's gay.
11:46 He's like, "Hi, I love buns, but sometimes I want a ████ IN MY MOUTH." >> [laughter] >> I READ YOU LOUD AND CLEAR, JOE. >> [laughter]
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