0:00 yeah I won't let you go if yeah that makes sense we established that's a scary whistle oh patreon right patreon [Music] welcome back to careful boys where we are the careful as boys on the internet most is careful today we're going to talk about when was the first time you got drunk and I mean drunk as a skunk drunk as a skunk I was 18. 17 18. that's late isn't it that is late yeah I never got drunk in high school I only drank like twice um but like very very very very very very small amounts like a shot or two
0:50 but then when I got to college uh I was uh invited to you know how they have like a bunch of parties in the first week of school oh yeah right I don't know um well they have a bunch of parties on the first week of school because all the frats want you to like rush and all that stuff right yeah so like on Ring Road and stuff which is at UCI this like whole road where all the frats like Booth up or all the different organizations and clubs they start like flying for ████ like that right and it's like the first week so there's this like LTD laminated else's Asian fraternities welcome pack of Welcome Back party right um going to UCI is a ████ ton of Asians there it's really easy to feel comfortable just being like okay maybe I should go to these things and then you end up going with like the very few people I think I won the Victor actually you go with the very few people that you meet at like your freshman orientation right at your freshman orientation I had like one staff member and obviously we're not
1:40 21 yet so the the Orient the staff members that you know are older that are kind of facilitating those things they're cool and they're like oh yeah we'll buy alcohol So Okay cool so you end up just like hitting people out bunking up with whoever is capable of providing a fun experience even though you're young and not even don't know ████ right and you never really drank before and I never got drunk before so I don't actually know what that feels so were you kind of scared though or you're like oh ████ about to get drunk for the first time so for any of our young viewers who are maybe close to embarking on such said experiments and figuring out your drunkenness I think it's actually really important to like learn about those things in safer environments yep then going into like a giant public party with a bunch of people and you're like the Newbie you're the young guy nobody gives a ████ about you drink by yourself yeah figure it out do it with your dad do it experiment find something even if you have some Sour Apple Pucker on your own
2:30 but even if you're underage like like figure out responsible friends and figure out your limits before you you're put out on your own if you can right that's true anyways I go out there the bottle of I think was Jack Daniels I probably will never forget that good start to drink my yeah my first time having Jack Daniels um and we you know you just don't want to be a ████ yep yeah but the thing is you're a ████ the very first time you drink you don't know your limits you know if being able to take it in the moment even if it burns that's not the same thing as being strong with alcohol you know handling your liquor like after it gets in your system that's when you actually know where your limits are but you don't ████ know that when you're young you just think as the ball keeps getting passed around if they can take it I don't want to not take it it's a very stupid boy thing to think you know
3:21 when you start dreaming anyways we dusted the whole bottle oh before getting into it how many how big how big is the bottle it's just a regular like 750 milliliters but there's only like four of us oh wow and that's a lot for a newbie it sounds like you know what I'm saying like if you were to just take a quarter of a bottle yourself and your first time drinking you don't know what the ████ is gonna happen to you I think maybe I lasted 25 minutes and remember 25 minutes of the party yeah classic I don't I don't recall dancing I don't do the only blast images I might remember is being in a bathroom there and just throwing up throwing up and just like that weird feeling where you're like this is my first major experience at college but then there's just you're just throwing up other people you think in your mind two people are just judging you and ████ which they are yeah even though it doesn't matter but they are yeah yeah
4:12 they might be taking some pictures yeah you know and you're just ████ throwing up then next thing you know you're like walking all hella funny because you don't know what this feeling is you can't ████ find your friends you start being a loser and trying to like you know what I mean like pretend like you know where to go or where you belong but really you don't ████ belong anywhere you're just falling all over the place that's a crazy ████ deep sentence yeah you don't belong anywhere basically basically I just ████ vomited my brains out woke up the next morning with like vomit on my clothes and I thought to myself I was like welcome to college and then I was pretty much the first time getting drunk every single time after that did you baby step it up a baby step the ████ up you know what I'm saying like if I I might maybe took like a shot an hour for the next like four parties just to see what it would actually do to me and then finally I I would build up my tolerance
5:02 was your shirt like covered in vomit it wasn't covered but like when it's your first time you feel like a ████ piece of ████ you know what I mean it's like really terrible you start questioning like everything about your life and then the next party's next week only time you throw a story where I wish you were wearing Kendra's merch [Laughter] I don't drink so pass it on to one of you dudes did you ever drink first time was I was in high school and there was a liquor store that would sell to underage kids that we knew of so we would go there yes still around to this day definitely not a BevMo definitely not a BevMo it was like it was It was kind of in the hood a little bit but uh now it's gentrified so it's all good is it Country Liquor no no no that place looks kind of shady so we went over there I got a Four Loco I remember it was a watermelon I didn't
5:53 really drink that much good flavor I would always yeah out of all of them it was probably the best it was probably like twenty two thousand 2009 maybe 2000 times like a senior I think in high school and at this time I had already seen all my buddies get drunk and kind of like lived through them and seeing like oh yeah if you drink too much you're gonna be ████ a piece of ████ and you're gonna be thrown up everywhere so I was like okay I'm gonna take it real slow so I started drinking and like dude it was it wasn't really anything that notable I don't think I got that drunk I just remember feeling good for you yeah like I just took it real slow and I wish I had a cool story but I had a great time it was fun um [Laughter] this one really sucks oh no okay so I
6:46 was I think I was 16 or 17 and I lied to my parents and I said I'm going to sleep over my friend's house our plan was to drive to Santa Barbara because there were all these parties it's beautiful oh I love Santa and so I went with her and this guy that she was dating he had a car and he was going to drive us we went to the store we got like two liters of like Hawaiian Punch and poured maybe 70 of it out and filled it with like any kind of vodka and tequila that's that Jungle Juice yeah okay so she and I are in the back seat he's driving us there um we're working out yeah not hard yeah just adding to it yeah so she and I probably finished like a
7:36 good good 60 of those two leaders he finished he was driving too this is really dumb oh ████ this could have ended really bad that's a long drive too yeah so by the time exactly so by the time we got to Santa Barbara it was already Nightfall we were hammered we finally found the place where the parties were happening we found our parking spot and by the time we got out we were so drunk that we got lost and we were like ████ this let's not go to the party anymore had to find the car I found the car led us back to the car and we had booked a hotel room that night because I was gonna come back to my parents house in the morning like in the afternoon and so we got into the car like okay ████ this like we're way too drunk and we're gonna go to the hotel the hotel's
8:27 like maybe five minutes away so we are about three minutes out to the hotel we get pulled over oh no we get pulled over this is tragic yeah next story sucks let me take it um I got good stories I got this we get pulled over um and the cops come out and they give him a breathalyzer test and she and I are so drunk um obviously we didn't know the laws at that time like we could have denied the breathalyzer test we didn't I blew like a .18 or something oh congrats got it he got congrats well at least you weren't driving yeah at least you weren't driving yeah so he got arrested he got a DUI
9:17 she and I both got misdemeanors the cops are lesbianism yeah a little bit more we'll break that down and we'll let you go if yeah that makes sense that's a scary whistle oh patreon right patreon nope so uh the cops drove us back to the hotel I was so upset um because they gave us a misdemeanor so I have it in my pocket and I'm like what the ████ am I gonna like what am I gonna do how am I gonna explain this to my how
10:08 are you gonna get home yeah how do you get fat I called a friend and my friend said okay cool I'm picking you both up you drove three hours oh got us what a friend what a friend a man absolutely friend [Laughter] [Applause] I get home he drops her off he drops me off I get home at like 8 A.M and I I get inside I go straight to my bed because at this point I'm still drunk I'm still ████ up I'm still throwing up my family didn't realize that I was home and so I slept till like maybe the mid afternoon almost evening at this point woke up was like well I might as well
11:00 get this over with walk downstairs and said hey I lied and put the misdemeanor on the table you're a ████ gangster damn dude go watch those goddamn rocks I got more Pebbles yeah go watch those ████ they're twice as big you see the dirt on the ground get the dirt off the ground this was after so maybe yeah that was after um and so the worst part about it was because I got a misdemeanor in that City I had to go to AAA classes in that City foreign so my mom was pissed because I didn't have a car at the time so she's like really you did this now I have to drive you to this AAA meeting three times to
11:51 get this like cleared and yeah that was that's my ████ should ask your buddy to take you dude yeah I'll tell you for sure yeah you want to get dinner after are you still kind of tired those are the dates he's like I remember when I went on a date with Colleen that guy go that guy looks himself in the mirror in the bathroom he's like ████ here you're a ████ hero man yeah I'm a ████ here dude your mom have to drive you back to Santa Barbara three times three times but I remember being in the meeting and sitting there with with these people who are like actually alcoholics and older like and older and like tearing their story and you're 16. well the person who's like teaching class was actually pretty cool because they're like this is what you do to to help yourself if you are you're drunk like the types of foods
12:41 you eat the things that you get it's nice that's hella used I would have ████ I needed that a long time ago stories of the people in the room and how they got caught they're like how did you get here this one guy was like running from the cops and went to go climb a fence but it was electric oh my God no way and he had no hands while he's telling the story and so like he tried to his hair is still straight up before I tell a story my hair straight up it has nothing to do with the story I'm just I'm a gel user I'm a gel user yeah yeah L.A looks like your mom yelling at you the whole way there every time no she was I think she was so upset that she had like nothing to say to me after the initial conversation of me putting the misdemeanor on the table so
13:32 we suck at Short over the off the records um we might as well make this a long one dude you know what I mean uh I might as well we're too good for me we're just too good at it we're in this Zone you know it's the flu game every time apparently it's because we got Colleen's 20 stories yeah yeah that was a great story by the way are you done I'm sorry no that's it yeah should I tell my story again I think I should get another shot no you're done I don't want to hear about you anymore [Laughter] you know what and I I felt fine I was good Nick proved me wrong we're done [Music]
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