0:00 it's now 2021 and uh the real woods he pleaded no contest to the charges because he just can't afford to like make a move on it so he's accepting the conviction but he's not admitting the guilt I would have been like not guilty get me oh Larry H Parker just died give me somebody [Music] else I am about to tell you a story not just a story this is probably the craziest story of identity theft I've ever read and it's very sad what it's very sad so get your tissues out no one wants to identity theft me I didn't do it but I didn't even know you could do it to this degree it's pretty ████ impressive I got a blue check mark on my name it's going to be hard for them to Identity nowadays it's I don't know if he'd be able to do that to
0:50 you but there's this guy right his name is kierin and uh that mean dragons he was born in 1966 that's a old time his uh he was adopted and his adoptive parents died in 1986 so by the time he was 16 he actually ran away from home stole a car drove to Oregon he was arrested never appeared in court so he ran away to Albuquerque and he ends up working at this hot dog stand meets this other guy right so there's two guys working in this hot dog stand kierin is the first guy and then the second guy's name is woods so as he meets this guy Woods he ends up stealing Woods identity whoa he gets this fake Colorado ID under Woods name and then
1:41 gets a job at a fast food restaurant out there so he just leaves that Woods guy back at that hot dog stand and just kind of takes his identity go runs with it what was wrong with his own identity because of the uh he stole a car and didn't go to court so he's on the Run oh bad news so then um so by 1994 um he ends up still using Wood's name he gets married has a child that kid's surname his last name is Woods he's basically like that's his name now wow uh he moves to Wisconsin and he ends up finding information about the real woods on ancestry.com so he takes that information and uses it to get a real birth certificate made oh ████ how does he even have his social everything this guy's good that's crazy maybe he when
2:33 they were working he he could have stole his license or his Social cuz you know back in the day like you could just uh once you have the social security card from someone they acted like that was like a gold plaque like that was legit yeah unforgeable yeah but it's just a piece of paper that could burn up I remember back when I was in high school and I was trying to get a job I needed my social security card I lost it and I went to that social security office office in alhamra and all they said was what was your name and I just said it and I gave my social number and they printed it out right then and there dude that's the system I was like dude I could have told you my name is lightning bolt and then it would have been lightning bolt with My Soul I'm like dude this is ████ light Bart that's such a weird system huh so then he lives his life as Woods he has all the legal documentation to prove
3:24 that he Woods he um he ends up getting a job as a systems architect in 2013 at the University of Iowa's hospital he becomes a like a direct systems architect of the IT department so he has a legit job holy ████ and then uh he worked there for 10 years he earned uh about a 700 he had like 700k in savings from working there his salary was 140k a year oh and he has a wife and he has kids they're all ████ Woods they're all Woods meanwhile that meanwhile all this time the real woods is in LA and he's homeless and uh in 2019 when Woods went to the bank he discovered that somebody else was using his ID and that because of that Woods couldn't access his own bank account because there's like a conflict in the system so he has to kill
4:15 the homeless Woods then no the uh homeless Woods the real woods can't access his money the his 5 Cent wait he's barely finding that out like years later yeah what happened to the odds of him being he's been homeless for so long probably didn't I don't know maybe he didn't have he never had to go to Chase Bank yeah so then he gives his uh Social Security to the bank to like try to fix the issue and they look at him like yeah right you trying to be you trying to ████ lie you homeless crackhead yeah so then they go they're like they try to call him to tell them like oh in order to um unlock your account we need to have you answer security questions but the number on the file goes to the fake woods so then fake Woods Pi up the phone and then he's uh they ask him the security questions but the fake Woods is the one who set up the
5:05 security question so he's the only one who knows the answer so he tells them oh yeah if someone's trying to come into my account that's a fraud that's the fake Woods I'm the real one I know the answers so then they they call it cops on the fake Woods for pulling fraud sick and they arrest him and charge him with identity theft and false impersonation wa and he's trying to tell the judge the police everybody that he's the real guy that he's the victim but he's homeless so he doesn't have the paperwork he does he does but the other guy does too oh so what happens is they end up saying that he's crazy and he goes to a mental hospital oh in 2020 oh this would make a sick movie de him they deemed him insane cuz I think what this guy needs to do is he needs to become the new kierin and get his ████ life back yeah like face
5:56 off oh did he know the name of the the guy that jacked his identity he doesn't know yet who's doing it oh like 30 years ago or some ████ yeah so yeah they met in 1988 oh my started 1988 it's 2021 no way yeah they was they metant for like a little bit holy ████ it's now 2021 and uh the real woods he pleaded no contest to the charges because he just can't afford to like make a move on it so he's accepting the conviction but he's not admitting the guilt he's sentenced to 2 years in jail oh what the ████ and um I would have been like not guilty get me oh Larry H Parker just died get me somebody else so like while he's in jail he's still trying to work out like how this happened and he ends up figuring out that it was kierin that he met how
6:46 did he do that that's what I wanted that's insane he was like calling all these like uh places that had his record and and if it crossed over with another name like like oh then who came in and I don't know he like did this thing where someone eventually told him like kieran's registered as this and this it was my coworker at Dutch Bros yeah so he figures out it's him but then he can't he doesn't know where kierin is so he ends up like tracing all these like lines and finds out that he's working at that uh that Iowa Hospital Place wow and then uh so what he did was he he wanted to prove that he was the real woods by uh telling his workplace like I'm the real woods if he can provide a DNA sample to show that
7:36 that's who he is then then I'll then I'll know for sure so then they um he hits up a detective of that region where Kieran works and the detective actually agreed to do a paternity test with Woods's biological father wow so they end finding they ended up finding the real woods biological dad and they're like okay this is Woods for sure yeah and if you're Woods then you should share the same DNA as him wow yeah it's crazy and then um crazy and then they asked the the fake Woods what's your dad's name cuz you should know this ████ guy's name and he couldn't even know he couldn't say his name so then they were like okay it's worth testing cuz that's weird right so then they go forward with the test and then um they find out he went on an ancestry.com but still couldn't remember the family tree
8:28 yeah and then right when they did the uh the DNA test right as they were about to read the results to him he just says my life is over everything is gone the um well it's not your life to begin with yeah the scammer because he actually did pretty well with it like he ended up with a legit job he had a family and everything his kids they all think that that's their name and everything so he pleads guilty to false use of birth certificate um but the love is real and the kids are real right the kids are fake you feel for it yeah so he's um he's facing a mandatory minimum sentence of two years but what if the dad Woods was like actually I like how you guys turned out I'll just adopt you oh cuz I mean like your real son's a ████ bombing in jail and you're like
9:18 I like this family better and he has a possible maximum sentence of 32 years and a $1.25 million fine 32 years wow cuz the 700 GS were made for reals like he worked those 40 hours a week or whatever yeah he did yeah damn he just couldn't use his real identity cuz he was still like he had the skills no the problem is he wouldn't have gotten that job if they background checked him and he was yeah that's the problem but does the real woods get compensated for all the time and the money for the detective and I think that's what they're trying to do it hasn't gone to court yet but wow it's fresh hopefully he that like a civil Cas yeah it'll be a civil case cuz he ruined this guy life I wonder if it was all racked up too like the the charges from
10:08 him escaping the uh court appearance for stealing the car and all those other things yeah that's probably going to be like tacked on it's like interest on your debt dude cuz he it says that he stole Woods's identity for 30 straight years wow but he did such a good job with it that has to count for something yeah he's got to go back and say hey look I'm the fake woods but I crushed it as a a consultant he's got to do Master Class yeah exactly cuz what was the real Woods doing sucking dick on the streets Andy also too if we want to get if we want to get for real you know fake Woods he was an orphan bro he was looking for love what if the judge is like all right no nobody just to fix this we're going to say that the other Woods is the one that suck dick on the streets like oh he's yes
11:02 yeah damn order order imagine imagine getting identity theft happened to you and you're trying to tell them that it's you but then they're like you're crazy crazy enjoy the next two years in jail they should they could have come up with the dad thing sooner though they didn't believe him yeah I know they just didn't cuz he was a Transit like they were just like yo you're ████ nuts have to come up with that idea yeah there's a lot of crazies though that are like homeless so dude if a homeless guy was coming to the bank and I was the bank teller and he was telling he's this guy the ████ out get the ████ out of here dude you're not John Wood imagine if like you have nothing and someone took your identity that's the only thing that you really had and then No One Believes you're even that guy I'm surprised he didn't off himself Man true dude I'm surprised he did like when he still had a job at a hot dog stad he didn't check his bank account or anything like something was weird I think he didn't actually open um
11:54 the account under the social and have the birth certificate after they parted ways hey you know what's crazy though this fake Woods guy actually saved his ████ life though in a lot of weird ways cuz this dude was homeless for how long and it gave him a mission and a purpose gave him something to ████ be like you know what I'm going to come get this ████ and he still came back so in a way in a weird way that's true yeah he's like I hate myself I hate my life and you're like wait I want myself back cuz he's like I he literally has nothing and he took the one thing from like damn me can make 700 okay that's crazy me can have wife and kids that's ████ me me can have wife and kids we can live in Iowa yeah that's a crazy ass to think that
12:44 like need dick like you just met a guy barely and that happens to you and also the chances of him not setting up those accounts prior to meeting him yeah you know like and then the fake Woods finding the guy in that time frame that hasn't had those accounts set up for him to be able to do that I think real woods is a ████ idiot dude I'm just kidding he deserves to get his identity stolen I'm just kidding I take that back toy joking yeah so the real the uh the fake guy David kierin is 58 the real woods is 55 and yeah this happened in 1988 and and it's just ended now it's over man but you know him the the fake Woods he does have such an insane skill set if he
13:35 does it how long is this time 30 years huh up to 32 over he going get like he get like two years bro cuz if he can get out early I feel like he has a skill set to get back on his feet I think so too yeah cuz he must have clearly been good if he if he's like the a high ranking it person at a university how quickly would have this gotten solved if real woods wasn't homeless real fast right pretty quickly yeah that's the ████ up you can't have like ████ like two credit cards two permanent residences constantly opening up Across the Nation but it's crazy to think that you could set up your own security questions on somebody else's ████ and then you're the one that gets asked you know what I mean like they're like well then what's your security answer and he's like I didn't even set that ████ up you know what that shows that security questions are ████ stupid ████ yeah or it can be ████ yeah no they're dumb dude
14:26 hey what your what's yours what's yours uh it's like what street did you live on that's how simple yours is only I know itango do know the street that I live on how' you know that how' you know that please enjoy the new Nick duns that'll be popping up in the next few years you're going to be in a lot of debt if you open it up and under [Music] mying [Music]
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