0:00 when you're also depressed too like I think you forget how dirty and smelly and you skip showers and you might just be doing hella drugs what a life that was just eating Taco Bell jacking off into the same ████ rapper that you just finished eating in and then like that's despair [Music] welcome back to another freaking awesome episode of the careful boys where we have Jimmy Zhang in the building today Joe take it away what were you gonna ask him okay you know what I like about you Jimmy um let me tell you something okay so in the world of Asian America uh people that make contact don't do so
0:50 hard um now you're not very Asian focused but you do help Asian peoples Asian males and all that specifically not just Asians though you help guys with having confidence dating and all that and what I like about your story is you're not um you're not ashamed to talk about what a loser you were man not even I don't even mean it like that it's very honest it's it's like I think a lot of people when they get on camera they want to pretend that they never were shy they never I've always been ████ confident I've always been getting girls you know and then in your in your videos it's like you're reaching out to like who you used to be and people see that content and then they're like you know what I think I'm gonna try to like go on a
1:42 date with a porn star now like you really push them not that far but they could dream they could but like at least maybe talk to people make friends go out there and that I love that message about you because it's like there's a whole group of I think within creators in the Asian Circle some are more like um they're kind of victims you know what I mean like their philosophy is much more different from ours and it's been a long time where I thought about like just asian-ness but since you're here and you kind of reminded me of that I'm like um do you have a lot of fans that are specifically Asian male kids that are like hey man you help me get ████ not even that but just become become like that's jokes but like become more open
2:33 and confident and all those traits that you wish you had and do you know kind of like your demographic in terms of like which people you end up like is there a pattern of people that you're kind of helping a little bit more than others or anything like that yeah I think um Beyond just the asianist because I like I made a lot of videos about anime uh that is I I just tapped into the entire nerd community in general right and and that was like a big part of my audience and when I go to these Anime conventions it's it's not just Asian people coming up to me it's it's black kids white kids all ethnicity like anime is just a big um so I I don't think it's just uh that the Asian kids coming up and I'm not just I'm I feel like I'm helping out just like the nerd Community a little bit um there's no race on nerd
3:24 um it's just that a lot of the Nerds are Asian you're right like that um I think beyond the the asianness though it's just like it like be before uh we started rolling we were talking about uh you know just being being a victim or just like getting girls outside of you you know like not being able to get girls out of your circle or or anything like that um and I I see my little brother as like a huge example of it he does it he just is he just hangs out with with people and then I guess the people that he hangs out with ends up being like his like reality like he hangs out with a lot of white kids so
4:15 naturally he he dated a white girl yeah right so you're kind of a product of your environment so is he in a you said he was in a sports or something right he he he's on the varsity basketball Varsity stud so that makes sense because like traditionally athletes in high school will date the cheerleader the popular girl jocks right right so like he's a jock Circle it just so happens that maybe that school had a lot of white kids sure and jobs are anti-nerd but then but then what I'm talking about is like I think you're 100 right like you you gravitate toward the people that you like right but like I'm talking about a group who will look at race first or ethnicity first and not even take into consideration like and say like well maybe I'm not into surfing but I'm
5:05 trying to get a skater girl or like a surfer girl it's like you're not even into the same ████ right right but then but then but then they they look at it as a Asian thing or whatever right oh it's because I'm Asian I can't get yes I've heard this so many times and I think that's kind of like the whole thing we were kind of what do you have like what's your advice or suggestion to people that have that mindset well I think okay okay I'm a question uh so naturally just statistically right if you go on these dating apps I guess you could say like Asians Asian guys are on the low special according to Nick dude I didn't say that oh well this is your yeah that's your thing yeah of getting matched but um I think it's yeah it's it's a victim mentality
5:55 you're you're kind of trapping yourself like what you tell you the stories that you tell yourself is becomes your actual reality right so just being aware of that idea like why would you trap yourself in that box right it just doesn't makes like if you had the choice of getting a whole world of women why don't you just choose to like hey I could get a whole world of women right and I think people just see these statistics see certain stories and they just box themselves right so I think one is is it's like mentality second is is the self-improvement right like maybe like you are like maybe you you just
6:45 have the biggest ego you you have the the biggest blind confidence and you're just going up to the baddest ████ but you weigh like 300 pounds right and and you're you're shooting blanks right then you know you gotta self-assess a little bit huh maybe I should lose some weight what are what are some attractive things uh that I could do to better myself so you just work on those things yeah so it's it's it's it's it's mindset in combination with self-awareness self-awareness and self-improvement and just with those things you could do anything in life did you were you ever like either in that box or like I was I was I I think I think for you once had a mentality like I can't get a girl outside yeah yeah yeah what broke you out because what I've noticed is people that are in that mentality they end up creating more theories that back up their claims so if they go oh
7:37 girls don't like me because I'm Asian and statistically a lot of you know Asians Asian men are not on in theater they're not looked upon as attractive whatever whatever and then they might stack on but also um I'm five six so I'm not six feet but also I'm this I'm that and then like they start stacking up evidence of why but on the flip side you you could also Stack Up evidence that that that dispute that you see Tim right he's five five five yeah four you know he exactly yeah but he's got brown eyes and a smile like the sunrise you know what I'm saying so that's true so for in your case what broke you out of that like world where you're where you're where you felt like that and then you go but wait there's there's this part too right so I think it's a combination of of people who I was surrounding myself with at that time right the people that I was
8:28 with that at that time was also all self-deprecating talking about like oh I can't get girls either I can get so I feel like a lot of people who says those kind of things they're surrounded by people that also say those type of things also believe in those type of things uh and that's why they probably bought they have a shared sense of like camaraderie about that and a shared sense of Despair and depression right but I think when I was reading those books I I started becoming aware of like how powerful your thoughts are to shaping like your reality so I cut those friends off stop yeah yeah because it wasn't that hard a lot of people feel very attached to their friends like how are you able to just well you know what I need to like separate myself because I realized how detrimental they were to my
9:20 life at that point right I'm at that point I was like 20 years old I still haven't ████ ████ did you try to tell them like hey guys maybe we shouldn't be thinking this way or like maybe we should see it this way or like did you ever try to change the conversation or anything I I think I did but it was just so just depressing and and they were just so like nah I can't do it did it sound like you were at an Asian film festival I've never been that's a deep cut did it feel like you were in the midst of a next shark comment one more oh not too familiar with with those
10:11 comments but um well this is kind of like what you were saying even earlier even on things like um your career and stuff and your parenting and the way that they were you know they were raising you and then you read something like Rich Dad Poor Dad and you're like wait a minute my parents were like this but other parents are like that and it changed your mindset right so you know like I I can understand how you you are self-aware enough to recognize your Social Circle and acknowledge something about that was detrimental and then therefore making a decision that would be an improvement to your life but like like what are people asking you when they're asking you for help or advice like what are their questions um okay wait before I answer that there was another thought I had about shark yeah it's just a lot of times people are are so afraid to change people are so uh like it takes a it took a lot of work
11:02 for me to like break out of that circle cut my friends off started going to the like the skinny little kid bringing myself to the gym with all these big ████ that like already know how to live and right and then taking my ass to to like uh like an improv class acting class yeah it like all these things are just insanely uncomfortable for a guy like me back then like people that are having those conversations like of being a victim they they can't do that that they're they're scared to do it's a lot of work to be able to like really change the the trajectory of their life yeah you can't really change until you switch from the victim to okay I'm gonna own my life now and then you start changing it versus life keeps happening to me and then I have no control right right oh that makes a lot
11:54 of sense because I would like more reasons and justifications why I see the world this way like if I feel like I'm getting the ████ kicked out of me and it's just hopeless I want more evidence as why it's hopeless it's comfortable so then if someone tells me like hey the reason why you're not dating is because like oh they just don't like Asian guys or whatever and then if if that was backed up with some kind of Statistics I would easily believe that if I was already down right because that gives me an answer like oh it's not me yeah it's just out of my control yeah it's just facts then I'm like oh I for because when you're also depressed too like I think you forget how dirty and smelly and you skip showers and you might just be doing hella drugs not for real dude
12:44 like I remember going days without showering sometimes and just ████ smoking weed every day what a life that was right yeah and then you're just like days would go by stable yeah just ████ eating Taco Bell jacking off into the same ████ rapper that you just finished eating in and then like that's despair that's the spare bro but it goes back to what you were saying you tried a nut on the cheese the little cheese because you were saying that you know it takes effort to go to improv class it takes effort oh dude massive yeah it's way easier just to be like yeah nobody likes me right it's it's every yeah yeah it's not even just like Harder by just you know um strenuous it's like mentally hard it's scary yes scary it's scary yeah so so back to my other question what are like how are fans reaching out to you
13:34 and then like what are questions they're asking so in terms of like help and advice I I think I think the biggest question I get is just is confidence um like what do they say like how do you have confidence or how do you get confidence right right how do you be more confident right and I think confidence it's uh it's it's it's a lot of factors that mold into confidence right there's there there's that was very that's a baby arm dude yeah bigger than a baby on a Mac um and I was like that's inappropriate yeah sorry continue no no have you thought about what makes what are all those elements that make a confidence uh yeah it's so there's like
14:26 different branches right it's like one branch is like lifting right being physically stronger looking at yourself and just like wow look at these muscles along the same line there's like posture there's like body language right keep going and then um dude stolen guys uh this is how I flex confidence [Laughter] your bottom half is going crazy though under the desk is going wild they can't see the squats right yeah they can't see the ████ gyrations now um and then the other one would be like have to do with your career right your uh career
15:16 financial success I guess um like how well off are you on that trajectory right like if if you're if you have no job it's hard to be yeah um so that also could level up your confidence and then there's like inner confidence like things that you tell yourself right confidence where you just walk into the room and you're like Yeah I'm I'm the ████ ████ you know so so I love I love that one when you say like you start going to the gym and you went to improv that's already like from an objective point of view I'm like dude you might as well just give that advice like how do I get my confidence go ████ go to the gym and go to improv class I was probably gonna like directly help right right but like what was something uh like mental that you kind of like were
16:07 also kind of biohacking and tweaking for yourself as well right it's those books that I talked about it's like what are some books that you recommend that you read that you started reading because I feel like it's a great way to Daniel Steele ████ pick any of those yeah you'll steal um I think that the beginner ones are like How to Win Friends and Influence People Think and Grow Rich yeah Dale Carnegie he's uh and then we have books about uh yeah but I don't like Malcolm Gladwell no more ████ that fool dude talk some ████ I used to really like that fool but I was recently saw him on a ████ the monkey debates you know the monkey debates he did that he recently did one about um traditional media and new like new
16:57 news and ████ he's the guy who did the tools of leadership one right or whatever so as an author yeah it's chill but when I saw the way that he debated dude ████ I wanted to slap the ████ ████ out of him he was just a ████ dude he was so mean but it's not about my congratulations oh another uh big influence and you guys know this is Tony Robbins um yeah yeah yeah Tony Robbins is cool did you uh any of his courses I I went to I went to his seminar which one uh I went to the business Mastery and I went to the uh the date with Destiny yeah no no no no no the um Unleash the Power at least Unleashed he actually um so the biggest takeaway I had from that stuff is uh my ability to control my anxiety
17:47 and um feelings and noticing that I have that anxiety boiling up and not letting it turn into anger or anything else uh through uh one of the methods he uses is basically changing your state your physical state so if you're like feeling tense and tight and scared then it's like you know what just ████ run up and down the block real quick and see how you feel yeah or like you might be feeling like tense and like tired and they're like well maybe you need to drink a ████ bottle of water and do some jumping jacks right quick play some music you might feel like a like a nut case but I'm like everyone already looks at me as a nutcase so ████ it I play some music I just start jumping jacking and I'm like yo whatever I was stressing about earlier and it's not suppression all it is is he's like when you feel
18:37 stressed you'll think stressed when you feel happy you'll think happy and then so the decisions that you make based on your state of mind right now will basically be a reality right so let's say someone passed away in your family that you love dearly you're gonna have negative thoughts so the way that you try to solve an issue with that mind State it's probably gonna be a negative conclusion about your relationship about your friendship whatever and you're only gonna have bad Solutions exactly coming from that place because it's coming from a place of scarcity you're afraid you're you're you know all those things so you might have negative thoughts and he goes well if you want Positive Solutions and conclusions then change your state and I'm like oh ████ this is weird is it that easy it can't be that easy and I
19:28 tried it and I'm like oh yeah it's ████ easy it really is what uh made you want to even take those courses um I think for most people like because I was kind of like I don't know about these courses feels kind of like cultish or whatever yeah yeah but then I'm like oh I still did feel a little bit Yeah Yeah but for me like because like I I always feel like it's weird to like have like a assistant Jesus type of vibe like for anybody not not just him but just somebody like assistant Jesus I'm gonna go there and ████ like I don't know he's gonna like oh you're cured or whatever but then I also go like but is that me like me judging something that I haven't done that's me being close-minded right so you know I'm gonna go and I got a lot of benefits from it for you um what brought you there or what made you even want to take like the leap of faith to go into like a theme that could
20:19 be viewed as like a weird thing uh I think um it's the difference between when I first read his book and like now I went to his thing like about like a year and a half ago and I think during that time like my YouTube was really struggling uh yeah I was uh I was getting like a consistent like like 10 out of 10 like rankings on on the videos so I was just like ████ I like nothing's going right I I feel like um in a relationship that I felt kind of constricted and entrapped it and then um I just yeah I I wasn't too in too too good and thankfully I I went uh one of my boys was was part of his like Platinum program yeah so he he was like yo you want to come with oh so he kind of took me under his sister yeah and so after that it kind of gave you a
21:10 new new kind of refreshed energy and then you approach your channel much more differently and now you're going on dates with porn stars yeah that's cool Tony Robbins yeah yeah no I'm glad was the man yeah he's that guy I'm gonna go see him so I can get something some ████ yeah yeah Amber you're married dude you can't say that anymore that's what Joe said I was just repeating him what are you talking about allegedly thank you
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