0:00 so she just fell out of the driver's seat she just the door opened and she just fell out and was like a and she was it was crazy like it was kind of wild it was so [Music] wild welcome back to another fantastic episode of the careful boys today in the building we have just michaa AK Michael and of course we have our resident ████ Bros Bart I'm not a bro you're kind of a bro I'm not a bro dude and then we have our resident hot white girls Joe and hot white girls yes there it is okay today we are going to talk about what was the closest you ever came to dying oh what kind of dying yeah uh what are the different types yeah well so I had
0:51 one where it's like car crash there's like overdose there's like the class was so boring those are the worst oh man he's like of laughter you look at the clock and you're like ████ 5 minutes and then you go back and you're like it's still 5 minutes what the ████ I think we want to know all those stories but start with the classroom first yeah definitely class that's funny I just remember I had this teacher named Dr Higgins in at marele already a bom and I remember I had her she has the most modone low energy voice ████ and it was right after lunch lunch that's the worst and what' you eat what did you eat like six pizzas no it was a remember those tasket oh yeah they started busting out
1:41 with sushi in our high school but it was like imagine like a tuna sandwich you get mayo and tuna and they just slapped that inside rice and they rolled it and they rolled it up into a sushi as a kid that sounds kind of dang it was actually pretty bomb and then uh that was the one of the classrooms where the AC didn't work too I don't know why so it's like all hot and and you were running around at lunch smell like tuna dude and you're like going raving at night so like you're sleeping at 5:00 a.m. that's less relatable to people but yes and then so I remember like in the class I'm like cuz every year I promis myself I'm going to do better so freshman year I promise I'm going to do better I ████ up sophomore junior whatever and then so senior I had her I was like all right this is the last chance to stop being a ████ up you're going to graduate and be good and I remember like okay pay attention pay attention pay attention pay [Laughter]
2:33 he almost died just falling over died and then I did that so much that she sent me to the hospital I mean not the hospital to the counselor the ambulance came to the counselor and she wrote me up saying like I don't know uh what kind of like drugs this kid must be taking but he's not paying attention in class at all she specifically said drugs drugs she went straight there then they ask you and Baro was like oh it's like ecstasy I Rave a lot but I was also like he's in there with a pacifier his mouth still no but I was like that's ████ up you assume that even though it's true but that's ████ up you he must be doing this for a long time Miss Higgins Dr like this like I relate to that so heavy man I had like this like the same monotone teacher but it was a history class we would come in he would always put something on the projector and just
3:23 read the textbook the room all dark yeah and it was after lunch in the most monotone way and all we did every single day in that class was just take notes on the thing that he was reading that's it and then test notes test I would ditch that class all the time and I think that teacher didn't care at all he ended up just passing everybody I never showed up to that class I you know you know what's funny I looked forward to those classes after lunch knowing that the teacher didn't really care CU that was for sure nap time that was just straight nap time but some teachers don't let you nap that's ████ up yeah this particular teacher didn't care is also AP Euro history and I was sitting there was fat ass textbook same thing projector and ████ but this is like the time they had just ████ invented those hoodies that have like the little slit for your earphones but the thing is we didn't have ear earphon with it was like headphones you remember the so you put
4:14 it back here so you had this big ass thing you had to put it over but the the cable could go through you thought you were slick as ████ yeah and you just sitting there like this it was like ████ huge but honestly that ████ was sick I knew for a fact that even if I were to show up to that class and even try I was going to fail because I hated that class so much that I was not going to apply myself so I'm like screw this ████ I'm going to have a longer lunch yeah that's tight I miss being rebellious but then now if I'm rebellious there's consequences yeah that was the one time I really didn't have that many consequences who do you have to rebel against what do you want to do what's rebellious to you like I'm supposed to do my homework and I didn't and then like the teacher's like you didn't do your homework and I'm like I no I didn't wait was it said just like that
5:06 too and then you're like yeah did something bad but then like but then you're I'm an adult and I'm like well if I didn't do my homework I just cheated myself cuz I didn't learn this ████ and then I can't be better and competitive so I'm like yeah I ████ up you could just not pay your credit card for 3 months and watch your credit score go but there's consequences I'm saying there's consequences consequen I just want to like ████ Stick it to them but then like no quences you know cuz you're the him now I know I became the man why Jalia let's rebel against Joe yeah that's that's Rebel that's the stuff that I actually try to break down with taica cuz like in the beginning of his school career even though he only had two years so far he would ████ up quite a bit he's actually a pretty good kid in school now and then I would tell him like um he' like oh can I mess up again I'm like honestly I was like you
5:56 probably mess up quite a bit at elementary school like I try to be real with them but I was like when you're an adult you can't like I'm like if you go to college and you like ████ around you say the f word or whatever the professor would just pull you out and then if you after you graduate if you ████ around with the police officer you just be in jail are you like dude if you say the f word like you can't ████ around Tao like you are you just dropping the F bombs like consistently but I tell him in elementary school I'm honestly he's like what happened if I get kicked out of school what going to happen I'm like honestly I just probably find another Elementary School for you and we try to help you not get kicked out again but but as you get old you can't be ████ around too much man do you ever tell him that he's going to be a pain in your ass if he does that no I don't try to put it on me I try to just like it's my my duty to help raise you in the right way so I'm trying my best and then you see like Brees him yeah he's like okay I'll try
6:47 better that's cute and he's good now that was really cute isn't this show amazing you come out here it's like the prp's like dude what the closest you ever come to Dy like Father lessons you know what I mean about not fing up you don't even expect it when did you when did you almost die say I would say I almost died but I had I had a traumatic incident when I was nine it was a boating incident and it was a we're fishing I think it's called trolling when you like the boat keeps moving right so I was in the Back 9 years old I was spraying um a barracuda it was on the floor of the uh the boat the lid was open but you know baruda at n yeah so it was like it was for bait it was for bait how big is a barracuda it was like this big maybe maybe this big so was like this yeah so the whole opening on the floor was open and the lid was open right you know how usually like the car door or the the the trunk
7:38 of your not the front the front trunk whatever the hood the hood yeah uh usually has like a thing for cars to hold up those was nothing on this lid yeah so mind you I'm spraying this cuz I'm I'm I'm a freaking kid I'm just like spraying it cuz I'm bored with the hose yeah with the hose right he's spraying of fish fish it was dead I was like maybe I can bring it back to life you know the waves hit the boat cuz we're obviously moving it slams down onto my pinky toe ow and it breaks I actually have a picture of it too I breaks open and I go to the hospital get surgery to stitch back on a month later it's pitch black so I had to get a surgery to take it off so now I have nine toes oh tight so they tried to sew it on but it died show your toes yo that could have been a good dance movie it's like you'll never dance again and you're like danc I was I
8:28 was your pinky toe yeah because it's for balance right so so you're like a Yakuza but for your toe pinky toes your thumb toe that's the real balance one I thought I thought I think they're all pretty important holy ████ this going be epic that's insane dude oh put your feet up to the camera put your feet up to the camera holy ████ he's like AI hey Mike don't take this the wrong way but you got some nice feet really I'm I'm trying to work on it man but if you took it the how would you feel how some how some ████ up do that BR no like pedicur yeah cuz it was it was you know dancer feet do you get like a discount if you go to the pedicure no but they always do this you know how they like file your toes they keep going they like oh it's not
9:19 there no they don't say it to him they go like this he immediately talk ████ Bro the smile gets me dude where they look damn yeah if you go to a public Spa in Japan they'll be like oh ████ this guy's a thug dude he ████ up but he didn't do his hand that's why he's tatted up and he's got a missing toe they're like you can't go to a public Spa in Japan because uh you have tats so it's associated with the Yakuza out there you can't go to an on I can't even go and I only got even even a lot of gyms you got to cover up your tats if you want to work out you can't you got to go like outside yeah in Japan you got to go like outside of the main city you could you have to be super covered up if you're covered up and they can't tell you have tattoos you can it's like being a blood or a ████ right and you're wearing blue all ████ day and then you're just
10:10 telling everybody I'm ready to fight and it like that's literally what old school tattoo exposures meant like if you're exposed that means like oh ████ this guy's Ready for War right now you could live in Japan you just can't go to the public on sense oh okay yeah yeah yeah no and then now there's hell of people with tattoos where like I can't even go sh no you toally go okay cool you just can't go to the public stuff like that oh that's okay yeah you got to go czy yeah there are some places that allow it it has to specifically say like and you got to be outside the the main city so when did you die n did you almost die the closest I've almost died was when we were on like a family trip we're going to the mountains and it was a snowing and which mountains I don't know where it might have been Angel's Crest
11:00 but it kind of happened out of a ████ movie I remember I was in a back seat I was destroying a bag of cheex mix cuz I remember this you don't forget things like that no and I was ████ you almost choked on a check mix no no no no not that like that that's that's kind of some ████ ████ I think um cuz you just wait a couple seconds it'll dissolve it disolve yeah right away especially if it's a pretzel yeah you fine um but I was picking out the check and let me tell you about cheex mix dude can I tell you about Che what if I just started talking about check mix so the the van my dad was driving he hit like a like black ice or something oh no and then we literally spun out and we got to the the railing like at the edge of the the the road and there should have been a railing there but there wasn't and I remember I was on the left side and I remember looking over
11:50 the window like right when we stopped and I could see straight down the ████ mountain and it was like it was out of a ████ movie and I just remember being like and everybody was freaking out in the car and they were like Nick are you okay and I was like I'm fine it's fine it's not that big nobody move yeah yeah but it was like it was it was one of those things where it literally spun out and my dad turned at the right time so we didn't ████ fall off a mountain and it was like I remember everyone cuz I think it was like a like a there was like crossing guards there they were trying to direct people through traffic or whatever and everybody was like they kept coming up to the car like oh my God are you guys okay we saw what happened and we're like we're fine we're not down the ████ Mountain so yeah we're fine dude but that was the closest I think how old were you I was probably like in fourth grade just destroying check mix day cuz
12:40 I can't tell you how bad I was wreck is that also 9 years old or something like that is it yeah I think so look at you 9-year-olds oh yeah dude just a bunch of Mavericks dude living life on the edge we're like Point Break dude you know what about you Anthony Lee when's the last time you almost died talk about it I thought you you had I thought you had a story that's why you brought the promp up I'm all about you guys you never you never almost died before was it an erotic ex fixation type of thing you never almost drowned yeah dude I was in the six person orgy all dudes right and I was choking anyways on check Mi um CU I I have a lot of stories but I don't want to hog it I also I also had a car accident situation where um my homie was driving I was in the back seat and and I didn't have a seat belt on you know when you're like younger and you're just like sitting in the middle just like talking to your friends like that my two homies
13:30 here and then uh he's not paying attention he runs a red light and we get T-boned by a truck I think it was a Tacoma a Truck Yeah Tacomas are really strong too I like them I have I have two of them but that ████ was crazy because of how how quick your brain processes things that feel like slow motion cuz I vividly remember the moment of my home you was driving going oh ████ and then everything for real goes slowmo cuz I saw the the truck it was white I see it like this I remember it hitting I remember me flying this way I hit my head and I remember seeing glass like this it's like the movies I see the glass and right when I hit my head I black out and the next thing you know when I come back there's smoke coming from the hood and the car is still in motion cuz he's knocked out and his foot's still on the pedal he's a big dude he's like 250 lbs so his foot's
14:22 still on the pedal um and so we're still uh ████ kind of making donuts in the middle of the intersection with smoke coming up everywhere and then I see my homie who's in the passenger seat his name is Patrick he like finally comes to as well and then I'm like yo put it in park put in a park and he throws in the park right before we hit a light post so it just stops right there and then everything finally starts to come back into like realization of what what's going on I remember the ambulance coming did you have a concussion I don't know I don't think so I just remember blackout for a second coming back I was the first one to come back Dam my homie was driving his eyes were rolled in the back of his head just ████ for like hella long and then we slapped him to wake him up and then he like kicked the door because it couldn't open so you had to crawl at the other side and I just remember the it was a family in the other truck and it was a mom who had to get carried out like on a stretcher with
15:13 a ████ neck brace and stuff like that whose fault was it it was my homie's fault oh cuz he ran the red yeah red I wasn't wearing a seat belt which is why I like ████ flew around so you don't have any body injuries or like spinal no I was I was you got lucky so lucky how old are you nine no I'm just kidding uh I was maybe like 15 or 16 damn damn you did have a you did have almost that that's almost dying he would have a story of someone dying next to him it's crazy to go through that and not have scratches though dude I had the same situation actually I remember now that you told that story we're were in high school our friend was driving it was like we're all sitting in the back seat and one my buddy was sitting on our lap she made a u-turn and she was parked on the side she made a u-turn and a car came and T-Bone her she didn't see the car the lady that hit us she drove into
16:04 the street and then she just fell out the car I remember sing her fell out the car and I was the only one that was conscious in the ████ car like through the window like so she just fell out of the driver seat she just ████ the door opened and she just fell out and was like a and she was it was crazy like it was ████ kind of wild girl I it was so wild cuz I remember seeing it uh she didn't even close the door right well it was like at she just fell out like as soon as she she parked she just fell out the car um so she just fell out yeah but she flew out though kind of she kind of she opened the door it was like in motion it was just like anyway um our friend that was driving she broke her femur oh oh ████ car hit her like right on the drive and she was a track star she was ████ and we were all like I think she had fulles too yeah yeah the big bone I
16:55 think she she broke her I remember seeing and then the homie got knocked out like like she was like asleep like did it ruin her R running career I think it did I think she had rides too I think she was she was going to go to college I I don't know what happened with that afterwards but I remember her being kind of ████ up for a real long you think she gets sad when she hears the song She's a runner she's a track star and she's like I'm not why is that song always playing around I'm not that was her favorite song but I were seeing theie the home girl DEA she hit her ████ head on the on the on the Wind and she like went out and I remember seeing that and I was like I can't believe I'm the only one that's fine it was ████ up mine's the same scenario not as dramatic as both of those but same thing got hit the guy totaled my car but he did a hit and run oh so he left but the there's like got
17:48 hit next to like a light shop and the people at the light shop saw and took his information got it and the police found him charged him with a felony oh ████ that's not a typical Colleen story wow in a regular clean story he gets away for the cleen story yeah the the usual story is my car is taken for I got to keep my car I got kind of ████ up uh yeah did you get money from it no I didn't get money from it my insurance covered it my car ended up being salvaged at least he yeah what do you think he's up to now I don't know maybe he's out hey somebody else damn all of my car accident stories has never been me driving but I'm in the passenger seat of someone racing and then it gets total so and then all of the stories of
18:39 my near-death is like pretty self it's like self- stupidity getting myself in situations like drowning because uh I was snorkeling one day and I was so excited from the fish I forgot that I was not a fish snorkeling at the surface and I continue to breathe as I was diving deeper and deeper and then I breathe the water and I go that's not air yeah and then I'm choking underwater and I'm like son of a ████ and then I'm climbing and if you ever try to cough while like in water you just breathe more water right you get up to the surface and thank God my buddy had his paddle board and I swam over there ████ went over and as soon as I was able to grab it I can puke it out ████ puked started to breathe all this fish started coming up eating all
19:29 my puke and all these divers were like oh my God there's fish they didn't know I was ████ vomiting we death vomit dude so all of these people were around me scuba diving like looking at fish cuz they were literally surrounding the the the paddle board and I'm just like puking my guts out you know what did you eat before uh I had a three flight pancake it was so sick it was like it was like so many different kind right I love a flight of cookie butter I swear to God that was the stupidest like moment P fruit when I was a kid I was climbing on the side of a cliff uh near my brother's University and I couldn't get back down so they had to like call like support to come get me cuz I couldn't yeah and then there was like uh there's all these stupid things
20:20 I feel like well like you know in high school it's like you play stupid games and um I remember there was a driveby that happened at the house that I was going to and if I was like I don't know like 5 minutes any earlier I would have been in the front too so like most of my experiences have always been you're being stupid dude you're lucky not because it was like oh no I was just in the car and a car hit us it was like me and my buddies well he's he's driving we're racing in the middle of traffic um and we're eating in and out while he's driving and they is because it's kind of trafficky helicop cars on the road he's weaving in and out he does uh he's riding on the what do you call it the side the shoulder the shoulder to get ahead and then when he weaves right back in my buddy that he's racing hits him in
21:11 the back and does like a whole police yeah pivot we we're like spinning all over with a ████ double double in our hand not the double it's kind of a cool commercial and then I thought the car was about to flip it didn't it just kept you like donutting and then we stopped and then there's a big rig that just stopped and we're just looking straight into like the trucker and then I was like damn dude that guy could have ran us over uh but it's all these stupid ass I think like teen moves yeah Wicked I got lucky yeah I feel like there's so many moments I just feel lucky like yeah we're we're alive and uh I probably should have died yeah
22:13 y
// end of tape