0:00 The the suck back? The first suck. You're already like, "Woah!" The first [laughter] suck. First contact. >> like this. First contact. >> That's very true. That's very true. >> Yeah. Welcome back to Car of Whoops. Welcome back to Car of Boys, where we had emerged from a very heated conversation in which we were discussing something called the suck back clause, which is a um It's heated cuz I got horny. It's something that happens when you're trying to do a breakup with a woman Sucking me back in by offering a sucking back in uh what do you call it? Blow job? [laughter] No, it's fellatio. Tribute. >> Fellatio, yeah. Tribute?
0:51 >> Yeah. It's a tribute. Okay. >> [laughter] >> Sucking me back through the this zone. >> [laughter] >> This is the portal. THIS IS THE PORTAL. >> [screaming] >> YOU SUCK BACK, YOU GET SUCKED BACK. >> YOU CHOOSE TO say things sometimes sounds so ESL. Sucking it back to that this zone. >> [laughter] >> So ESL. Then he was born here. >> But you knew what the ████ I mean. >> [laughter] >> All right, well >> You know what the ████ I say. Since this is something that specifically happened to you Yeah. >> um You [laughter] sound so happy about it. >> that and it's something that Bono's maybe you feel like it's not as common as we might She was disgusted actually. um You know the power of women, but then you don't you're in disbelief how easy it is. Yeah. Was that a question? She knows
1:41 exactly how easy it is. She's just disgusted that we're talking about it. >> ask you a question. You know Do you ever Do you ever see those memes and reels? >> [laughter] >> You know those memes and reels where it's like a how to win a husband in a fight or whatever. >> And she pops her titty out >> right? And then the husband's is "Okay, yeah, whatever." When you see that, do you think that's comedy or like or do you see that as like, "Oh, yeah, that happens all the time." >> It's training. >> Like, how do you see that? Husband and wife getting over fight, completely understandable reality, for sure. But, you're talking about you had a well-thought-out plan about breaking up with someone, you know it's not going to work. >> it's well-thought-out? >> [laughter] >> We never said that. Not helping Hey, not helping the men right now. And then you basically backtrack all of that just because of the one thing >> Not backtrack, suck back. Suck back.
2:31 There were Rice Krispies, too. Yeah, and afterwards? Come on. You get a ████ and you're sitting there with some warm ass Rice Krispies like I [snorts] JUST DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF after you like just had a breakup conversation. >> Isn't she taking your pants off or are you taking them off? Blame the girl, not him. Yeah, I'm the victim here. >> The girl's making the moves. >> [laughter] >> Guys, I think I think we need to approach this from a way more like scientific, physics, biology, everything approach. It's It's It's on some like Newton's fourth law type ████ Like, you know, for every action there's a reaction. Same thing, gravity, blah blah blah. Like, if a man is offered a ████ it doesn't matter if he's right, if he's winning, if he should have, if it's the most moral thing. The ████ will supersede any consciousness
3:23 and logic. And it's it's literally impossible for men to get past. It's impossible. It's you're tricking It's biohacking. It's like the universe Why would God design such a beautiful weakness for us? >> I have a question. >> This is like when people say, "You know what? It's just the way I am." It's the same thing. It's just the way we are, dear. What would you think? What What would you think of a guy who had the same scenario? He was going to break up with this girl. The girl offered the fellatio. And he said, "No." >> And he said, "No." Do you think that >> He's gay. Oh my god. >> Or do you think that guy is a man of discipline? No, no, no. I think I'll tell you I'll tell you what happened. A MAN OF GOD. >> TELL you what happened. >> What? He went to a brothel before. No, I think I >> [laughter] >> I think when you keep it verbal, right? Of course the guys are like, "No, we're done. We're over." But girls are ████
4:13 sneaky. They're not going to I'll ask you a question. As you guys are talking and breaking up, she's already doing like this kind of stuff. >> demonstrate on And then, you know, it's like it's not a verbal thing. And then pretty soon you're ████ the this zone. >> [laughter] >> You don't even know Exorcist. You're getting lifted up. You're getting You don't even KNOW HOW YOU GOT THERE. >> SCOTTY beat me up, bro. You're getting You don't know how you got there. Yeah, and then the lights this tunnel. But you're willing to get back all the way back into a relationship that you wanted to end for the one act. >> no. You're not willing to. It's against your will. You're in this zone. And you're not even thinking about it. You're not even speaking English. You're ████ speaking Sumerian or some ████ >> Speaking in tongues, dude. >> [laughter] >> She's talking in tongues. Ew. Ew. So, you've never been mouthmatized before? And it's pretty interesting. Because what ends up happening is
5:04 It's Okay, imagine like >> Mouthmatized is actually one of my favorite words that you've [laughter] come up with. >> Mouthmatized. It's real. >> That's not ESL at all, actually. When you've been mouthmatized That's slick. >> AP English right there. >> the best way to put it is like you've been you you repeatedly get beat, but then you forgive them because it's like this time she's not going to do what I think she is. She's changed. I know it. We're on the up and up. Cuz you want to be optimistic, and you go, "You know what? I think it's going to be different because But what has she changed? She There's no conversation. She's She's never offered that before. You're not thinking about change. That's not WHAT HE SAID. >> WHAT IT IS? It's also like it's almost like here's a peace offering and olive branch and you feel like oh we were like at war but now I think we're at peace
5:56 and if Japan and America can be the best of allies when they were the the worst of enemies I think I can do that with her. I also think it's even more primal than that. It's like I'm ████ tired of you ████ ████ And you're like wait why was I here? Yeah. Oh you want to get something to eat? >> Yeah. Back in it and then a week later you're like wait a minute I went there to go break up with her. I think that's more likely. >> Does that not when you say it out loud does that not sound dumb to you? It's relatively dumb. >> We're not saying it's smart it's just the reality. This is a problem. Yeah it's it's a it's literally a global pandemic. >> Yeah. All guys are >> [laughter] >> It's the dem mac. I can't explain it but when you ████ do the dem It's your finish it's a finisher move. You never have female like friends when you're growing up and then you're like Girl he's no good for you and you're like why
6:47 does Bethany keep going back to Chad? >> What kind of R B album is this? Cool. And then you're like Girl we told you stop. And then she's like I know but I can't help it I love him. I like big >> [laughter] >> See I think uh Girls have the same thing too. >> So what is what's the female That's the question. What is the female equivalent of the suck back? Of the mouthmatize? Where she's like I'm done and then No baby come back baby. Basically yeah. It's when the guy softens up and is very sweet says all the right things. Um it's the talking. I don't think it's the physical. So is that >> It's the heart back clause. >> Yes. Okay okay. That's pretty good. You're on a roll Joe. Does that require him to make promises for the future? That requires him to be very articulate and and also have such a great defense
7:37 against the suck back because the second he starts a heart back if she goes in the suck back all of his defenses are gone. It's over. All the leverage is lost, huh? It's gone. It's like bringing a knife to a gunfight. It's a different thing. Suck fight. >> [laughter] >> Do you think that the the only guys that are like repellent to the suck back clause are gays and guys that have a lot of ████ I think yeah, but gays can do it to each other though. >> [laughter] >> He was Yeah, that's the that's the gay guy. >> recent victim. They can suck back each other easily. They're like, "Oh yeah, I'LL SUCK YOU. OH YEAH, I'LL SUCK YOU." AND THEY'RE LIKE, >> [screaming] >> THEY'RE BOTH THEY'RE BOTH LIKE THIS. I THINK FOR THE hetero for the heteros, >> [laughter] >> a guy and a girl, if that girl is giving him head every day, maybe he's desensitized to her powers in that moment. He has it too much. But it's still not >> So it works against her? [laughter]
8:28 Yeah, you don't know. You don't know. Yeah, because she has to do something really special instead, right? >> It's too abundant. Yeah. But then It's like it's like it's like crypto. It's like Bitcoin. He gives him head every day, but she doesn't actually give him head like a porn star every day. She just has to change it. >> She's like gagging and ████ like maybe Okay, okay. >> [laughter] >> Oh, oh she does does the bridge >> She's like, "I'm out." Or or she always gags on it and then this time when he's trying to break up with her, she makes eye contact while she's doing it. Oh my gosh. Hypothetically. >> [laughter] >> This has never happened to me before. HE GOT SO CAUGHT UP. OH, AND THEN SHE'S LOOKING AT YOU AND SHE'S KICKING YOUR ████ BALLS AND THEN SHE KISSES ONE ball to the other one and she's putting her finger IN YOUR ████ >> [laughter] >> DO YOU NEED TO GO TO THE RESTROOM? Is it a break? >> [laughter] >> So the the female equivalent is always
9:19 like more of a sensual It's like a ████ apology or some ████ It's like a genuine apology? Some ████ Oh, but but they are false, right? >> They can be. Because here's the thing, the it's not an equivalent. It's not an equivalent. Because the suck back doesn't require change. She's just sucking on it. For For guys, you're requiring the guy to change the person he's going to No, BECAUSE YOU GUYS CAN JUST SAY YOU GUYS can just say all the stuff and not change anything. But he has to still make up all those lies still. It's hard. [laughter] It's hard to lie like that. >> AND YOU DON'T think of Never mind. A suck back? >> [laughter] >> But that is the equivalent because if you think about it, the suck back also isn't making any real changes. No. It's just a a distraction from the thing. The same thing with the guy having the heartfelt apology. He doesn't mean it. He's just trying to get you back. >> And that has happened to me a lot.
10:10 >> [laughter] >> I think that's more common. But here's the difference, though. Uh uh the suck back the first suck you're already like, Woah! The first suck. >> [laughter] >> First contact. FIRST CONTACT. FIRST CONTACT. >> That's very true. That's very true. You say the first word, the girl's like, "And what else? Okay, and what about when uh last year St. Patrick's Day? Okay, what about this?" [laughter] You got to like more and more and more. >> got dates. They got dates. >> all the way down the list and finally she's like, "Okay, if you do all of that, then maybe." It's at the end. >> Yeah, it's at the end, yeah. It's ████ >> [laughter] >> It's not the beginning. But then Okay, here's >> don't want to work for it. You just don't want to work for it. Hey, does that mean we we just never did the heart back? So we didn't do the suck back equivalent. Well, here's The
11:01 question is how many suck backs How many suck backs would work on you? A million? A million? >> [laughter] >> A million. And then after a million, no more, dude. That's why I told you I don't like in-person breakups, cuz then IT'S I'VE BEEN HAD. THAT'S WHY I TALKED ABOUT THE SUCK BACK, BECAUSE I'M LIKE YEAH, that was Joe's point. Do they have chastity belts, but like for men? ████ no, cuz we'll ████ the belt. >> [laughter] >> They're going to saw it off, dude. >> tie the belt around your dick, we're the belt, dude. Yeah. You know, like hey, I got this chastity belt, but can I put softer lips around the dick? Can I put lotion in my belt, please? >> [laughter] >> I feel so much more relief when I get broken up with because I know I'm not going to be trapped into a suck back
11:51 moment. Okay. So then that's why I was saying like I don't like >> You're actually afraid of it. Yeah, you're scared of it. our breakups because that's happened to me before. But if it you know what I mean? Like if I was more repellent, I'm like no. Not going to happen. >> Don't you have that superpower though? You show your ████ and they're like no, I want to come back. Ew, the visual. What the hell is that? What power is that? What do you call that? That's even harder to resist. What >> [laughter] >> the hell is that? He said that's even harder to resist. Call it a munch back. That's what we call that. Ew. [screaming] A girl wants to break up with Joe and he shows her his butt hole? Yeah, and she's like I'm sorry, I can't. She blacks out. She blacks out and starts licking his ████ No, that's not real, dude. What is that called? >> live a normal life after that? [laughter] That's called the trumpet clause. Oh. A week later they're like no, I was
12:41 trying to break up with him. Yeah. So like do you think guys have infinite uh loads? Bart said it's three. It sounds like Bart says it's three. >> No, I think you'd go more by how you've been talking today. Biology, think about it. You get women, you get one heart. You get one heart. You scar that heart, that heart's scarred. Takes a long time to heal. Guys, you exit that, ejaculate that ████ we're reproducing again. It's unlimited. It's unlimited. I think it depends. Okay, I think it depends >> buff boy mentality I've ever [laughter] freaking heard. I think it depends on the reason of why we're breaking up and why I want to leave. Like let's say she ████ stole everything and gambled it away, right? And I'm like god damn it, can't be together no more, right? So I she gets me back with a suck back and I go, "Okay, well, you just have to have access to my bank accounts
13:32 anymore. But, we could be together, but that was a mistake. I get it." >> Boundary. Oh, so you're adding restriction? Yeah, and then and then >> We got to learn a little. >> let's say she does something else. Like, she was supposed to watch the dog and then the ████ she didn't feed the dog and the dog died, right? And I'm like, "You [snorts] ████ ████ we're not going to be together." Sucks me back in. Then I got to go, "Maybe I shouldn't have pets if I can't take care of them." >> After killing your dog, you would go for a suck back? There So, but I'm just saying like it it these are This is how guys get sucked back. What if What if you guys broke up because she's not good at sucking? Oh, then there's no coming back. >> She doesn't have the ultimate kryptonite. Yeah, she needs to practice. >> She has no power over you. >> [laughter] >> What if she has really nice boobs? Oh, yeah. Nope, sucking dick is way more important. >> So, she offers a titty ████ instead?
14:22 >> It's possible. It's possible. But, it's not as good. Wouldn't rule it out. Okay. >> [laughter] >> So, is there more power in the suck back or the heart back? Okay, with Joe's example, this is how it can happen infinite times, okay? So, the first one, the lady spent all of Joe's money. She comes back in like a business suit with her like looks like a secretary hot secretary with the hot glasses and she's like, "I'm so sorry, babe. Why don't you deposit your whole bank roll into this little bank vault?" And she bends over. Done. Suck [snorts] back. The next one, dog dies. "I'm so sorry. Can I be your little puppy wuppy?" And her ████ titties are out. ████ that dog. >> [laughter] >> You said I was getting into it. >> Yeah, all whatever Give one more example. >> Whatever scenario it is, she can I don't know. She can suck back that scenario
15:13 and then you're just like, "Fine, whatever." >> [laughter] >> And then you just teleport We'll figure it out. Here's what I'll say. The heart back, I bet lasts longer. >> Oh, get of here. This is the suck back. I think that's true. I think that's true. Yeah, the suck back only last 30 seconds max. >> Because for us, we'll hold on to that conversation and be like, oh, he is really sweet though. He's got it in him. He just, you know, needs some time to change. And so, it it'll last longer before the next This is all words. But guy, the suck back, you guys will get over that quickly cuz you No, but we think about that that time and you're like, she can suck good though when she really wants to. And you know, you know, I think I think you know, you just keep thinking about that time and you go, it's going to get we're going to get back TO THAT. AS A SOCIETY? >> [laughter] >> AS A COUPLE. OKAY.
16:05 You froze Anthony. I wasn't [laughter] sure.
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