0:00 [Music] a russian entrepreneur has put a one million dollar bounty on vladimir putin's head that's too cheap bro one minute oh one million ain't gonna kill him does he know about the oligarchs in russia dude there's so much money in russia billionaires dude one million dude that's so i guess i guess this guy's ████ up for putting only one million out there you know what a ████ idiot guess what yeah guess what putin just did he just raised all the salaries of the guys around it to one million and one dollars oh we're conflicted now god damn it i'm making more money with putin one dollar more that's very cheap wait is he oh uh is he in russia i don't know if he's in because that's dangerous right that sounds like his name this guy's name i'm gonna butcher his last name his name is alex konnaniken
0:53 is off korean konami code is offering up the incredible sum of cash obviously not incredible here to whoever is able to capture the kremlin leader dead or alive in a post on linkedin the former banker hopes the incentive will see putin taken into custody and the war with ukraine ended he wrote that would end the war he wrote i promise to pay one million dollars to the officer or officers who complying with their constitutional duty arrests putin as a war criminal under russian and international laws that's that's a caveat right there he is a very honorable man so you can't just like freaking throwing knife the guy you have to do it under the constraints of like the law i'm i'm assuming that if you were to throwing at the guy and he died and you like dragged his body he'd probably still be able to claim the prize i feel like he'll they'll go ah we can't give it to you because the technicality of what i said but then if you slap her okay i guess
1:44 complying with their constitutional duty but that that's already up for debate right yeah but can't he i wouldn't charge for murder because he paid somebody to kill somebody i guess that's why it's saying complying with a constitutional duty arrest yeah that's a war criminal so it's more like a prize under russian international law so it's almost an actual bounty you know what i'm saying it's a prize yeah can i just do that on anybody because what if i'd be like i'll give you 50 right now to go and grab the whoever is the ████ interior of labor or some ████ but are they a war criminal under an international law the interior of labor i don't know if that's a department that guy's like what did i do i'm just the interior of labor he's like this isn't even a job
2:35 why am i going away it's a fake title okay so this guy claims putin is not the russian president as he came to power as a result of a special operation of blowing up apartment buildings in russia then violated the constitution by eliminating free elections and murdering his opponents as an ethnic russian and a russian citizen i see it as my moral duty to facilitate the denotification of russia i will continue my assistance to ukraine in its heroic efforts to withstand the onslaught of putin's order tight that's tight i i made fun of a guy that's actually doing good in the world let's get that department of education head right the head of the department of education he works right next to the interior labor guy your interior paper that sounds like a governmental role right interior if you had to give him a job
3:25 role what would he do department of labor education that's what what labor the this guy i'm talking about the interior guy the guy you want to offer instead of him yeah labor like picture hanger dude like yeah like dude he's he's definitely choosing whose jobs are what okay you know like you're an actor you're a builder you make coffee mugs he chooses jobs yeah he chooses yeah picture hangers are real ████ i just realized it's a real thing what do you mean picture hanger i met i met this guy like i was at starbucks in hollywood i met this guy rolled in with a nice ass car we just started chatting and i was like what do you do man he goes i'm a picture hanger and then did you go no way [Laughter] i said get real bro you get real
4:15 all he does is when rich people buy art he just hangs it on their wall for them maybe he just has like really good like he doesn't even he could see level yeah he can level he just has the power to level every one try it's like the guys on like ████ ig that you see real quick they're like going to the chalkboard in prison or whatever they draw a perfect circle why can't you just do this he said he's been doing it 28 years and every day he'll have like four to five clients because doing it so long in hollywood it's all word of mouth he doesn't have like any advertisement all he does is whenever someone buys nice art at auction or something they just call him he comes in and he literally just hangs it or installs the like that a picture hanger that's what he said yeah he hasn't come up with a ████ term for it that's even better that he calls i'm an art arranger interior labor interior honestly though like imagine ████
5:05 like going in an auction or whatever paying like a million plus dollars on a piece of art like i'm gonna be like who's the pro yeah yeah exactly all this ████ is that is ████ very ████ true well dude me and nick you want to get a chandelier and apparently you gotta buy a ████ elevator just to get the goddamn chandelier up there uh oh like a scissor lift you install like this thing up there and then it can it can go down and like you hook the chandelier and it goes back up like automatically does that mean that you have control of it like that that machine is in your house so you can always like because my house is so ████ big now i got a ████ huge ceiling and now i can't just reach this thing and you're huge holding i know it's annoying it's funny how does it feel like to not be able to hit the touch the ceiling of your like own home that's weird to be honest rich that's so rich so have you ever been able to touch the ceiling of your home joe doesn't even have a home he's homeless i'm literally homeless
5:57 i don't it hasn't worked out so good life hasn't worked out so good for joe see the so the difference here is that you guys uh you guys stayed in crypto and i sold it you know and so uh the um original post on linkedin featured a poster showing putin's face in the middle alongside a text that said wanted dead or alive for war crime did a ████ cowboy hanging on a little saloon wall that would honestly be kind of sick though that'd be pretty cool it'd probably be a meme though you wouldn't take a series but at the end of the day if it's like a million dollars imagine if you're like in putin's court right like you're just like one of those random like security guards a random ████ you're not really a somebody you're not one of the oligarchs right and then there's like a legitimate bounty and you kind of don't believe in what's going on i'm just trying to hypothetically put my mind yeah yeah yeah you can get that
6:48 close and get away with it you probably don't need a million dollars yeah exactly like if you're that close to him you think so even like what about his driver i don't think he'll get away with it that's the thing but the second you kill him like what is there anything to get away from what if like you kill him and then again hypothetically don't come after me vladimir dude the way people like vladimir consolidate power though is they take out all their political opponents and then they scare the shadow you by being like hey if you ever hear some ████ we're gonna take you out if you hear you hear anybody saying some ████ guess what we're taking them out it's like i think they just for fun everybody says those things and what if this is the top guy that's passing down that well the the closer you are the closer you are to him you just die every couple of months you'll be like you're too close oh yeah then he just kills you okay the only one who can kill him is an american hacker who can make
7:39 his cell phone explode when he's holding it here that's it but he doesn't talk i think he tells people have you seen the tables that he does his meetings with they're like 20 ████ feet long and all of his people are over there and he's talking to him like it's like coming to america so like he's by himself on one side everybody else is super far away you should see the pictures it's hilarious the beauty and the beast when they're drinking that sugar soup oh yeah yeah and he's got a mirror to the left so he can only see what's behind his back he has those sunglasses that have like rear view mirrors guess what i see your ass is coming dude from 20 feet away the pixelated ones where he's like a homie so would you say putin is very uh like he's very paranoid of people trying to kill him i would imagine if you're kgb you're paranoid no matter what he's like i don't think everyone really hates me people like me right
8:29 people hate me do you think this was too harsh do you think he does those conversations the international criminal court has already announced it will be investigating russia over possible war crimes committed following the invasion of ukraine and icc chief prosecutor karim khan revealed in a statement that he believes alleged war crimes and crimes against humanity have been committed in ukraine and an investigation into russia's actions will be launched as rapidly as possible which technically if it's official that war crimes have been committed then the bounty's real now do bush and cheney give me a break dude all this posturing is so ████ awesome what are you saying man what are you saying with business big time big time a million people dead in the interest no no international community is coming to ████ put anybody on trial just saying because you're hella rich with like you
9:20 know chandelier elevators you should put out a bounty on linkedin for bush and ████ no no i'm sure i'm joking if you're listening right now just playing some places i am willing to give you 20 because that's all i have left 20 damn but that means a lot to joe though it means the world to me twenty dollars maybe a spear oh that's your good spirit ████ offer all right i'll give you twenty dollars a spear and a hat and fake money son of a ████ died if you can take george george bush jr dick cheney okay and um let's get him to stand for the war crimes did you guys see how he got heckled recently by a vet it was pretty ████ nuts so he was uh doing a uh uh speech uh george uh w junior
10:11 junior bushy right and then um junior w bushy right ████ george bush my friends died for no ████ reason i oh i lost all my friends because of the iraq war you are a war criminal all that and in the very beginning before people said before he was like um i'm a veteran you set me there for no reason everyone was buoying him they're like boo and he goes i went to iraq for no reason everyone shut the ████ up oh because he's a veteran they thought he was just some stupid hippie protester but he's like but isn't that isn't that stupid because the stupid hippie protester has the same message yeah i know right so it's like okay cool it is stupid but it's like all
11:01 of a sudden because he's a veteran i mean it makes more sense he gave his life to protect his country but then we all know it's like well not really it's because the bush family and the cheney team wanted to profit like a ████ that's what sucks man and they're not gonna get in trouble for it no no in fact they get to talk about ukraine right now and they are yeah that's the so ████ annoying just gotta put a bounty on linkedin let's put them down in there okay i got 20 bucks how much you guys got uh 20 bucks and a spear and a hat don't ████ retrace your entire thing yeah i'll give that that's what i'll do the super bowl winning i'll sacrifice my super bowl i lost the super bowl i probably should have i would have won if i bet it on the points instead of the straight win but i'll give you my losing went lotto ticket i'm a legend this guy what a lord of life [Music]
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