0:00 All right, I'm going to give you a good answer. >> Okay. Kill them. >> I try to understand how they really feel. But you can't cuz they're ████ ████ Postmates delivery guy. >> You can't understand them. You're You're Their brain is now in your body. >> Yeah, but their heart is yours now. Welcome back to another episode of the Careful Boys. >> Woo! All right, Subi, question for you. What's up, bro? Your brain gets swapped with your worst enemy. What's your first move? Who's your worst enemy first? Is it uh lesbian liberal? >> [laughter] >> No, I don't have enemies. There's got to be a Karen Bass? Yeah. Oh. >> Oh, Gavin Newsom. Gavin Newsom. No, that's my boss. >> [laughter] >> Oh, that's right. We got a He's the National Guard boy. I said I swore an
0:50 oath. I can't say it. Oh, he He's believe You [clears throat] don't think he's a domestic enemy? No, cuz he's in chair right now. All right, what um >> I'd get him. He's dictating who the domestic enemies are, dude. All right, I know who it is. Who is it? Kim Jong Un. No, he's not. I I I feel like I need to know him first. >> Kamala Harris? >> He's somebody you don't know. Kamala Harris? Kamala Harris? Irrelevant. >> Joe Biden. Joe Biden? I don't care to You know what's funny is like when people are competing and they're trying to get the presidency, you hate them, but then when they're out, you're like, I don't I don't remember anything. Yeah, they're chill. >> Watching the left love George W. Bush cracks me up. >> Oh, dude, what the hell? >> I don't right? >> Seriously? >> Yeah, dude, they're like Uncle George and like Michelle Obama and him take pictures. It's really weird. >> remember the good old days? >> I'm like, we hated him. He is a warmonger. Anyways, um I don't have Yeah, I can't think of an enemy. Good
1:41 prompt, Anthony. I blame Anthony. How about Bart? >> Maybe I'm your enemy. Maybe the prompt is your enemy. What would you do? For Bart, it's California tax collectors. >> Yeah. Yeah. You know what my my enemy is? And I always swap brains with them and I can still never empathize are the ████ stupid ass ████ Postmates that pretend like your house is like ████ somewhere in the mountains or some ████ Wait, what? They're like driving all over the place? >> So they'll be like Like let's say you order food 10 times that month. All nine people get to where you are, no problem. Then there's that one person, "Ah, what is this? What is that? I went over there. There's not that thing. What's the code for this?" What And I'm like, there's literally nine other people that completed your job like nothing and made no fuss and you're
2:33 treating it like I'm trying to make you solve a Rubik's Cube in ████ 3 seconds. And I try to swap my brain with them. "Oh, uh maybe it's because they're new to this country." Nope, cuz the other five were also don't speak English and still made it work. "Oh, uh maybe it's because of this." I really try to play devil's advocate and it it comes down to they're just ████ ████ And they get mad at you. >> They get mad at me for living where I live. >> All right, so what would you do then if you swap brains with them? >> [laughter] >> Okay, Steven. Yeah, we'll see. >> how it is. What does this have to do with BEING ASIAN, DUDE? >> [laughter] >> SO LET'S SAY I SWAP BRAINS WITH STEVE, RIGHT? NICE. >> Your sworn enemy. >> Nice. >> Your sworn enemy? >> ████ Anthony loves me. Swapping brains with Steve. He's my worst enemy. Then I'm going to pound town on Nikki.
3:23 >> Oh, damn it. You stole my answer. >> [laughter] >> I knew you'd say something dumb like that. It'd be Nina. >> Free up the strike. I don't care if she's pregnant, dude. I'd be like We're We're going to hard. Hey, low blow, bro. Low blow, brother. >> [laughter] >> We're going even harder, dude. Yeah. Yeah, get to it. I'm throwing hands. What about you, Subi? Wait, what was the complete prompt though? Is it swap brains and then what? Yeah, what's your first move? Yeah, what would you do if you swap brains with your enemy? >> Dude, stick to the prompt. All right, so if you >> I kill myself. A, not >> It's my ████ enemy. What the ████ And then I swap right back in. >> No, but you swapped your brain. Your brain is in their body. See, I'm going to be Bart right now. That's the rules. NO! SO NOW your brain's dead. So if my brain shuts down, I shut down. I was going to say you just killed yourself. >> They get to be me? Yeah, and then >> That's what's ████ whack. Yeah. All right, I'm going to give you a good
4:13 answer. Okay. Kill them. >> I try to understand how they really feel. But you can't cuz they're ████ ████ Postmates delivery guy. You can't understand them. You're You're Their brain is now in your body. >> Yeah, but their heart is yours now. >> Ooh, touché. And their ████ soul, man. And now you know. What if you go kill yourself and then you win Hannah back? Oh, it's like kill the enemy. You're basically putting yourself at like a uphill battle. You're like doing Face/Off with Nicolas Cage and John Travolta. >> Exactly. Now you got to just work super hard to get your wife back to trust you. >> enemy's ████ your wife just right right now. Which he did. As Anthony. Here we go. I get I buy a gaming mouse. First thing I do is buy a gaming mouse. You might ask why. So I can go to amazon.com and I can trigger the gaming mouse to click plus plus plus plus plus plus plus on on all the Frozen DVDs until it fills the whole
5:03 ████ cart and then I buy every single Frozen DVD and then I have them shipped to the house overnight express, obviously. >> Steve, I already have gaming mouse. I just set it up. >> You already have what? >> Buy buy buy buy buy buy buy all the Cardona that's available. >> No, no, no, no, no. That would ruin me. Don't do that. >> [laughter] >> Damn. Real quick, do you get to switch back? Stop being so by the rules. >> No, I'm just wondering. You're making it too real, dude. >> All right, this what I'll do. I'll be be California EDD. >> [laughter] >> What I would do is I'll start a business. I would start a business that's legitimately a film company and you outsource and you have all these, you know, 1099s. And then I'll ████ report myself. And then when I swaps back, he'll know what it feels like. Yeah, ████ California EDD. Swap back to himself and
5:53 he goes, "What? I have a film company?" Is it a successful film company? Mildly. >> You just like built a whole business [laughter] for But But But the thing is, you know, you know what he's probably going to do? He's going to He's going to sign No, he's going to sign himself out and then do do some corruption ████ >> Now he has a film company. >> That's actually true. >> [laughter] >> And we'll be like, man, I wish Joe put that attention to Jake. That would have been sick. That would have been so tight. >> [laughter] >> And I come back and I'm like I'm I'm already tired. I am spent. I did all this to build that build EDD film company. >> Dude, I swap brains with Subin and I just start I just open a webcam. I start talking ████ on Gavin Newsom. >> [laughter] >> And you don't get into the National Guard. No, no, no. I just start talking ████ on Gavin Newsom. >> 10 reasons why Gavin Newsom [laughter] sucks. >> Even though he's my boss. I'd be like a 10-part web series that I just like launch on Gavin Newsom every night at
6:43 8:00. And it always ends with screw my oath. No, man. I need I need my I need my benefits, man. >> [laughter] >> Let me go through >> Is he the state commander in chief when it comes to the National Guard? I don't know. You said he was your boss. Yeah, cuz remember when the Texas governor deployed their guys against the feds? So I mean like isn't that your >> Yeah, technically. Right? It It is until something of like I don't know if it falls under the Insurrection Act. There's some sort of like federal court. >> Is it the Insurrection Act? >> There's a lot. There's like ones where it's like But then if the governor is not like um like doing fulfilling their duties, then now the president can take over. >> Yeah, so I think that's Yeah, the Insurrection That's being actually thrown around a lot. Insurrection Act of like 1807 or some ████ like that. Last time it was used with was with George H.W. Bush during the '92 riots when basically under
7:34 when an actual American civilian lives are under threat of any domestic or foreign whatever, then the commander in chief, aka the president, can bypass Congress in order to pull on the National Guard as well and militarize whatever as a police force. Um >> So George W. Bush sent that not >> H.W. H.W. in '92 for the riots. Bush Jr. Bush Sr. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know he was the one. So I think that's So yes, technically National Guard in California, Subin's boss would be Gavin Newsom unless Gavin was doing something that was endangering Californian citizens' lives and >> Is that French Laundry having dinner again? Yeah. Subi can't laugh at that anymore, but we can. Dude, I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to swap bodies with Well, he's not my sworn enemy, but I'm going to swap
8:24 with Putin and I'm going to end the war in Ukraine and I'm going to swap back. Oh. Well, oh dude, I'm going to have some parties before that though cuz I heard they get down over there. >> You wouldn't You wouldn't like end the war and then have some parties? You got to like have some parties first and then end the war? Cuz end the war and then leave. I would swap brains with the head of ISIS. They're gone though. Oh, are they? I thought so. But no, no, go go ahead. >> said ISIS. He's just got kind of a fog accent. No, I said ISIS. Oh, plural ISIS. I would swap with ISIS and then ask all the general commanders and everybody to give me all your guys' hiding position and relay that to America. Damn. >> Whoa. >> Actual spy ████ Now Now we have a real hero. I would swap with Ryan Confradio. Mr. Omicron. Omicron.
9:16 Confradio. And I would activate all his dead man switches just to see what the hell happens. >> Ooh. I just want to see what what the hell he has on on the world, basically. Do you think he has kill switches? I think he has dead man switches. >> think he has kill switches. I think he has stuff on the world though. If anybody in our group has a dead man switch, it's it's Ryan Confradio, dude. So it's like, "Test me, bro." Yep. >> But he's so cool. Like why would anybody come after him? I don't know, but he gets petty over the weirdest ████ I don't think you guys realize Ryan He He probably don't got one of those. I probably don't? >> Ryan don't. He don't have one of those? >> He ain't got no kill switches. You don't You don't think Ryan has is cool enough to have a kill switch? >> I didn't say he's not cool enough. I'm just saying I don't think he has kill switches. >> think he got ████ on the world though? No. What do you What do you think So you you think all the Omicron stuff is just BS?
10:08 >> [laughter] >> He's like He doesn't have it, Steve. >> Suban's probably Suban's probably like Ryan Zoolander and then the kill switch is like saying something that like triggers Suban and then Suban's the actual attack dog. Oh, ████ Yeah. >> He's the Manchurian Candidate. >> see that, yep. Kill the Malaysian Prime Minister and Suban just goes. Suby. Hupdi.
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