0:00 and then he was like oh I cannot connect to the Wi-Fi so I hacked his phone looked at all his wife's nudes all that stuff jacked up jacked off a little bit came in your pants I helped them connect to the to the to the United Wi-Fi that's good that's tight yeah it was very it was very like rewarding [Music] closed circuit TV footage circulating on Chinese social media shows a 65 year old man distraught he brings his phone crying into a police station and he asked police officers on duty for help was he like I don't know how to order Uber eat no close okay really close that was the first thing he brought so close yeah so because all people don't know yeah they don't know it's so close no they're
0:50 they're actually just pictures of his dead wife on the phone and and but he can't access them anymore and he thinks the photos are gone oh that's really sad he goes it's just desperate he just doesn't know where to go oh okay and then the police was like you just have to Ctrl R to the police are said on a phone PC one the police said it's a routine for him to look at his deceased wise pictures on his phone everywhere oh that's sad bro look at his so yeah he pulls up pictures of his wife on his phone uh every day and today they're not coming up oh so what happened he didn't charge his phone he's like I don't I have an old phone I don't know what's going on and then he's like I don't know where to go ████ software updates dude the applesauce on you dude you don't don't download that ████ say no
1:41 they ████ you up huh ████ yourself I knew it oh but then but you wanna oh you want to get oop you want to get Uber guess what they're like you have to update your ████ and I'm like ████ you I'm standing with Lyft ████ you oh yeah that's what it did stand your ground dude don't let him do that too you really don't update anything no I don't I don't trust them because the planned office lessons they already did to us before and we trust them again yeah how many times they gotta beat us down before we ████ stand up I don't know that just lets me have a new iPhone all the time so I'm kind of happy that it breaks yeah because I get new iPhones oh that's really cool nice bragging dude I have Team Mobile so they're literally no but then what you do is you just turn your last iphone in and they give you a price on that and then like you get a good deal on the new iPhone yeah but you're still spending money so they got you yeah and you're locked into a plan by the way I wanted to switch so many times for my iPhone I'm like oh please let me switch because like Samsung's cool and like
2:32 their lights are crypto people like me and but then if you try to switch you lose all your pictures too oh yeah buy paid 30 bucks a month for unlimited because like I'm with spectrum and they had this cool deal going on and when I was getting business Spectrum they're like you want to add some lines and I was like ████ yeah so then I get a good deal I don't know I don't know have you guys ever had that happen it's really sad when like an old person comes up too and they need help with something it's and it's like yeah it's pretty heartbreaking you know if it's too sad I just say no yeah I walk away oh you don't I just be like you've been on this Earth longer than me you had so much time to learn this technology like you lecture that you're dismissive dude come on man you had so many years to get it together you were born before this technology came to be dude there was I came after there was an old Asian lady that pulled up to me as I was walking to the gym and she's like she's
3:23 clearly blocking a whole intersection to come like ask for help I don't know why she spotted me but she goes and we're in like South Pasadena she goes hey uh I'm lost I don't know what my GPS stopped working she pulled out of like her TomTom or whatever and it was like black and I was like okay I don't know what to do about that and then she goes can you tell me how to get to LAX and I was like damn from where from south of Pasadena and I was like you just got ahead on the 110 that way just go that way and she had her she had her ████ her directions on her phone but she just was like so distracted she's on a bicycle [Laughter] the lime scooter yeah yeah just tell you it's gonna take you four days and I think I think she was I think
4:13 she was doing Uber which was like a dagger and I was like what do you mean wait she was driving she was driving she was the Uber she was like can you can tell me how to get to LAX heartbreaking dude I was like I'm sorry like you just gotta head to the 110 that way you didn't know how to tell her to get to LAX but it was just like she wasn't gonna remember it yeah it's two it's too direct for tomtom's black dude 110 South over 105 West I was like I was like I gotta go train somebody I can't be here like I'm already ████ I gotta go in bro and she's on a bicycle yeah it's rough dude and it broke I felt bad but I was like there's nothing I can do what am I gonna do I don't know give me the phone so this old couple right they came up to me and they're like hey do you know where the Duke's Restaurant is and I'm like um I think it's in the next building yeah I think it's in the next
5:03 building top floor is it Hawaii yeah and then they go are you sure it's not in this building and I was like you're trying to ████ you're the one asking me yeah go look there what the ████ was the attitude so I said you're right it's up there and I saw them walk upstairs and I'm like that's right escalators broken it's in the bathroom too it's all the way out in the left ████ dude going you know like it's been so long since I worked customer service right yeah and like I forgot how ████ rude people are like just working at the restaurant and like you just being chill right and they come up to you and they have questions and then they're not even buying nothing and then you're just trying to help them out but they still act like hella entitled yeah some people are just like that yeah I can't wait
5:53 dude until I can like have ████ you money and then I'll just have a business so I could talk ████ that's all I'm gonna do yeah to them isn't it like those restaurants who the waiters get to talk ████ to the customers yeah it's like Dave's Last Resort or something yeah Dick's Last Resort I went to one in San Antonio I was at Riverwalk in San Antonio and I was walking by and I guess the the guy who's supposed to be meeting everyone stands outside and he like kind of talks ████ to everyone outside yeah yeah and he goes he goes nice shorts bud and he was I thought he was talking about Buddy and I was like oh ████ and he goes no I'm talking to you ████ and I started laughing and then as soon as he said it he was like he was like if I saw your ████ ears no no I think I I started and I think he as soon as he said it he realized he ████ up yeah and then he just was like
6:45 okay I'm sorry man I'm sorry man I used to say trying to move my buds like when we're alone yo that's so old school that's so crazy I'd laugh just I bro I'm shock hearing it I started laughing because I thought he was talking to my boy and I was like oh said he lugged your shorts oh my God and then he looked at me it was like I'm talking to you gentleman and I was like what what I started laughing bro he said he was like do you think he said that because he's like because he's like oh man now it's about race but I'd like to sure oh ████ he wasn't Chinese I like those waterproof barbell Brigade shorts he's like I think he's Filipino or something he's recently ambiguous that guy's not from China what have I done I messed up oh last time I was at Home Depot I saw the uh the Home Depot employee get frustrated with this like old Chinese
7:36 lady because she was showing him pictures on her phone and she couldn't articulate what she wanted and he was just like I don't know I don't know and so I went up and I was like hey what is it and she couldn't speak to me either because like I don't speak Chinese but she was like showing me and it wasn't that hard to figure out she was looking for doorknobs but the problem was that it was doorknobs for her business and the doorknob on the other side is a different knob so she needed both knobs but that guy was like no you have to get both like he couldn't get that it's that you know they sell him in twos yeah but I'm like yo there's a whole other section with her individual so I just went with her I'm like here's this snob that's that one and then this is that one and then she was like oh thank you I'm like the ████ employee couldn't figure that out so this story that's why he's an employee that's like you're a businessman that's beautiful and by the way this sad story takes a beautiful turn so the officers weren't able to
8:26 help him at first because he had lost his phone right so his phone was gone oh and they retraced his steps using surveillance footage and they found that he had left his phone in a plastic bag with a bunch of fruit for some ████ reason of course because he see now I don't know but they they found it they found his phone inside the bag probably as he was like opening his door he shoved it in a bag real quick just like so we could grab the door and then um to safeguard the photos that he had of his wife which were intact on the phone um they gave him a disc of all of them downloaded damn that is extra mile right there holy ████ what's where is this good this is in China wow and they were of his wife's ass and titties oh that's the best because they were jacking off to his new to her nudes first that's what I said and then they said yo we
9:17 saved this on a floppy for you yeah they made copies for themselves yeah yeah they're like yo your wife she was bad they labeled him too for him they said ass titties lips and then they said and then they said and then they italicized lips too so that he had them all ████ lips and the lip lips yeah you don't so I I did help an old guy I actually on my flight here today I mean not today a couple days ago he was sitting next to me and he saw that I was able to watch movies on my phone and then he was like oh I cannot connect to the Wi-Fi so I hacked his phone looked at all his wife's nudes all that stuff jacked up jacked off a little bit came in your pants helped them connect to the to the to the United Wi-Fi that's good that's tight yeah it was very it was very like rewarding love that that's cool man that's really cool man I do help old
10:08 people I don't just scold them for being dumb like yeah or send them to restrooms on the top floor hey she was being mean yeah that sucks when they do that she was asking me for directions and then questioning me oh dude did I show you guys the um when you know how like outside my studio I have a camera facing the intersection and people crash dude I saw the last video yeah there was one a few months ago where this this like work van was making a left someone didn't stop me to slam straight into him and then they were the person that ran it was saying it was the van's fault and then I went I this is my protocol I go outside I see if everyone's okay and then I offer footage to the person that like thinks it's not their fault or whatever and it was like a Korean family in the van like you know those like they got like a store or something so it's like four of them um and then uh I I was like no it was their fault I was telling them that and
10:59 then um I gave him the video I didn't give the other guy the video I just gave it to the Korean family I'm like yeah you can see right here you guys stopped and then they kept going and they were like oh thank you they're so nice and then um I went back into the into the studio and then they knocked on the door uh like an hour later and they had brought me like this uh there's like a plastic bag full of Arizona Iced Teas yeah it's like every flavor that's your jam yeah oh sorry like this is all we can give you but I hope you like it's okay I was like dude that's so sweet that's so nice it's a little thing that's why the other guy's an employee you're a business owner come on baby isn't that a sweet gesture I want to get some too a bunch of Iced Teas what's the best one you know what I'm you're not gonna like it but I like the original sweet tea I don't like it is that the Arizona
11:49 ginseng strawberry kiwi ████ every ████ time I like the black and white the regular sweet tea I like the best I love the regular ginseng one ginseng I like the one with the yin yang sign don't touch me don't touch me push them on the front push them on the floor he has to go on a frame the table editors editing amount of frame I don't have to straight [Laughter]
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