0:00 [Music] hey how much do you love your cats man ████ love my cats dude i have so many cats that's crazy ████ lovers they're four cats bro yeah ████ ████ lover yep what would you do would you do anything for them i mean not really i want to get rid of one of them oh ████ the one that's that bites everything no the one that pees on ████ he's on ████ i ████ know the feeling he pees on my wife too really he'll just he'll just pee on her it's the most random like an r kelly chat dude you got an r kelly cat i thought cats were like easy to train don't you just put the dirt this one is he's a wild animal cat kick him like they found him under a gas station in the middle of the desert and then this lady rescued him or whatever brought him to like a flea market and that's where nicki got him because nobody wanted him oh and now you really don't want anything yeah ████ no how does nikki feel about this cat nicki
0:51 loves him cause like he's she's like his mom yeah she has a pee thing and he no i the wish like like only likes her really and he hates everyone else and hisses at everybody so it's miserable but he still pees on her yeah he pees on her randomly in the middle of the night too like while she's sleeping she'll just be sleeping he'll cry is he sneaky he's like purring like he likes the pet and then he's like he'll just sneak attack it yeah this guy's a predator he's a ninja sleeping the door closed now the cat's outside if we do that then one of the cats like matt gets on the door and then he starts ████ howling all night and crying let me in let me in dang i know the feeling have you ever got rid of a cat before no man i can't do it dude this cat is low-key kind of cooking you a little bit he's completely cooking me dude what are you gonna do to get back at this cat i'm gonna kill him you got a ████ in his litter box dude i want you to pee on him yeah yeah that's what you should there
1:41 pee on that little ████ shirt that's like basically how my grandpa raised his kids you want to pee on me the kids like one like he he caught my uncle smoking a cigarette or whatever outside and then he he took one of his his marine corps helmets and he made him put it on because way bigger than his head and then he bought him a cigar and he made him smoke the whole ████ thing oh ████ the helmet down yeah wow my gran my uncle says he never smoked again that's hilarious that's a creative ass lesson he's like you smoked that whole ████ cigar just in a ████ dude you'd be ████ bleeding out your eyes that's the worst damn man that'll make what a ████ g dude that's ████ funny is that considered abuse uh i mean that's parenting bro or grand parenting you know what i mean
2:31 that's what the brand comes from grandparenting has different set of rules yeah if the cops come they just go oh he went through the great depression never mind oh my bad we're out see you later fine sorry about that grand parent different set of rules they got they got passes for days so a uh a former australian soldier is accused of storming an animal shelter to retrieve his cat and he pleaded guilty on money to charges of the offense this guy this guy named tony whitman he's 45 wore full combat gear and was armed with a fake assault rifle when he barged into the lost dog's home in melbourne in january right this 23 year old employee pleaded for her life as whitman tied her up and questioned her about the whereabouts of his cat wow whitman told the employee to count to 100 and he left the shelter without retrieving his cat and the police arrested him when he returned the next
3:21 day he didn't get his cat though he didn't all that for not getting it this guy's crazy he's like where the hell are the cats huh at a shelter i like the idea of him just wearing full combat gear with a fake assault rifle and then tell a poor lady to count to 100 with her back turn so that he can escape in time i just think that's funny he's ████ really funny did he have to do all that can you just ask like just make a phone call he's like he's my cat there my cat that looks like this yeah yeah he had a straight rescue mission for a cat but he didn't even finish the job though he didn't even get his cat yeah i think he forgot what his mission was just midway he was trying to john wick a cat he was like why the ████ am i here he's like i should go would it be badass if you got the cat left that would be johnny that would have been tight yeah that was that'd been tight then he would he would have done it for a reason yeah the reason would have been fulfilled sure this guy is delusional i think well women reports guy needs to
4:11 make lists looks like memento he's got tattoos yeah get cash yeah he's rewarded he has bad short-term memory or an assistant or it's exactly like memento he's already gotten his cat many times over but he keeps on losing the cat yeah he or he keeps on pretending like he's got to go get another cat this is like when nikki sends me the store and she if she gives me like above four items and i don't write it down i will forget the fifth item every ████ single time it's hard dude four or less you're good yeah that's it four four or less or i also gotta write down and she knows that sometimes even three ████ me up yeah dude because they'll be like two or two of those things are mine so i'll i'll remember those ones and the third one is her ████ and it's some weird ████ i never think of like what usually like jam i don't know ████ amino acids bro yeah some weird ████ that i think you know absolutely you know what that's a lot of syllables to remember yeah throw that ████ away yeah that's that's a
5:02 tough one like what the ████ is it for they're useless skipper amino acids yeah i buy i bought some kind of i don't know some kind of acids but then isn't that like like a is it like a vinegar like they use that for vinegar like liquid aminos it's like soy sauce all i know is this chick sent me to trader joe's to go get her ████ amino acids and then somehow i ████ it up because she always says i always ████ it up and somehow i got barbecue flavored amino acids like trader joe's is that creative yeah like liquid aminos is like a it's like a healthier alternative to like soy sauce exactly amino acids and barbecues i got barbecue flavored some of smokey barbecue flavors how the ████ you get smokey but was it pretty good though well no she doesn't want smoky barbecue what does she want like probably one of the soy sauce ones regular amino acids dude guys i just ████ up you know you know i do see dudes though like at the
5:52 market now just streaming to their wives with the phone that's the usually they'll just be like this one honey this one that's because they ain't trying to ████ up i've done that i've done that i don't wanna ████ up hey but do you guys do your old shopping like that new smokey baby coconut amino that's what i got i ████ up yeah i'm telling you man have you used them yet no she was like she was like saying like she doesn't want smokey barbecue she's like i don't know where the trip is she's like i've never even heard it try that what is it for i have no idea bro i just go buy the thing it's a sauce yeah pretty much you don't want to do soy sauce anymore a lot of people want to do aminos dude i don't know it's like a healthy alternative people are turning down soy sauce that's asian hate right now yeah that's true asian hate huh but now kiko man they make their own now they got their own amino acids you know liquid oh they're adaptable what about maggie i love maggie maggie's bomb and is that even actually soy sauce
6:43 they call it seasoning no it's wheat sauce yeah what's maggie it's like the brand it's like it's french right is that yeah i think it might be french it's really good it's got a red tip uh what is it it's like a french soy sauce oh but like but it's a wheat sauce on eggs i actually think it's better than soy sauce hell yeah with sriracha yeah kind of like dark soy sauce where do you get that amazon baby anywhere let me see oh yeah i've never had that all right really good it's really good it's just really cool they got low soda like the low sodium one like i think so yeah yeah you don't hit this competitor i will go for the green one over the red but when i go to maggie i'm like give me the ████ maggie give me full maggie on some fried eggs and rice it's pretty good all right i need this experience it's not spicy or anything yeah it's cool no taiwanese sausages yeah where
7:33 did this whole uh low sodium thing come because i i i heard that like it's actually bad when you don't have enough salt you actually want more salt yeah you just don't wanna i mean dude like some some of the campbell's soup out there bro it's like ████ 2 000 milligrams of sodium in one little can lunchables is like that they're like here here's your sodium for the week if you eat one lunchable i think it's for the american diet that's what it mostly is yeah like that's that's what these these protocols are for i never know what's good and bad nowadays it's all it's all dose dependent even ████ rice that you get in a bag that you heat up or whatever it's got like 2 000 or the 1 000 things of sodium in it what instant rice yeah instant rice bro it's ████ crazy is that for like preservation yes for preservation well and they have flavored ones too and that'll ████ you up too i got smokey barbecue like chicken flavor yes smoky barbecue it's good for active people to have salt if you exercise a bunch yeah
8:24 you sweat a lot so this dude whitman reportedly told police that he suffers from ptsd because of his military service and somebody stole his cat in the military he just felt like he needed to get the cat back and acted without thinking about the consequences of what he said yo that's a problem man with with how many uh military peoples we got coming back and then they're not getting the right help a lot of them end up homeless if they don't so that's the that and then they're out there trying to save cats and ████ i mean i i don't have anybody with a specific military ptsd experience in my family or anything like that but i definitely have seen some of them movies about like people that have that ████ like shooter and stuff or what was that one or american sniper american sniper that's one dude that was so sick people got killed by a dude that he was trying to help that's the saddest one like he comes back and he's helping he's giving back to the community in the very own
9:14 community and he's like you know not all there ends up killing him which is crazy so crazy what's the guy's name in that movie chris kyle chris kyle dude have you guys seen jesse ventura talk about chris kyle he has a bunch of uh he ████ hates chris kyle yeah a lot of people don't like that floor because chris kyle lied or so jesse ventura says about um punching jesse ventura like to act all hard to see he like says that he punched jessie ventura yeah and like because he says jesse ventura was ████ on the seals which just was like why the ████ would i do that like wasn't he a seal yeah exactly he was like why would i why the ████ would i do that ever jesse ventura and he's like chris carla comes up he's like that guy comes up and he says all this ████ about me and it's all ████ and like he's on joe rogan joe wrong just sitting there like oh i don't know if we could say all the ████ oh cause his fans love chris kyle well everyone loves chris kyle because of the
10:04 movie he's an american hero yeah american hero kind of tough he's not here to really back himself up so that guy's just getting away with jesse ventura is like he'll go full russia like he's in russia like he's just like i don't give a ████ man it's all about the truth dude i knew steve had a good jesse ventura ████ i live in mexico oh yeah i moved down to mexico i love that guy dude i love i love this quote from jessie matura after uh in 2017 after the five year legal battle against the former navy seal and his estate and he says uh all i can say is my settlement is now in the bank ventures and that speaks and tells you everything else about it whoa all i can say is my settlement's in the bank he always has like that little wiggly chris kyle's estate and he won wow he said that they were bullshitting it
10:54 was all ████ because there was because i know there was some stories about him like shooting looters there was like a big issue with that i don't know what chris kyle yeah they say shooting looters so jesse ventura says that he thinks that chris kyle's bullshitting about like some of the stuff that he did while he was in he literally says he literally denounced the late american sniper author as an american liar and he feels vindicated in his five-year legal battle against the former navy seal what about the other seals won't they there's probably other stories they were all they were deposed in this lawsuit and they couldn't back up what chris kyle was saying and that's why one of the reasons why why he won wow damn jesse ventura's dope dude he's like a no ████ dude conspiracy theorist okay i'm pretty bad but i don't know if i've seen the dude but is this character in the movie just eventually no no okay he probably served it at a different time he was an old school
11:44 wrestler yeah that's right he was a pro wrestler and then he became a politician governor of the governor of the state of minnesota he was a pro wrestler i think navy seal and then wrestler oh wow yeah welcome to the rock ████ hella good connor's the easiest one to do that's good ████ don't brag you
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