0:00 Sometimes it's that I need that guy to be able to listen so I could just be like, "Oh, I got off my chest so I could look weak here because I'm not trying to put that at home." >> But And when you get annoyed when he tries to fix it, you're like, "I'm not trying to have you fix this. >> I just need you to listen. >> Need you to listen right now. Please just listen to me right now. >> All right. We're going to talk a little bit about this thing that uh went around and kind of resonated with lots of people. Basically, uh, this woman goes up to her husband or the husband says, "Oh, you know, so and so got divorced." And then the woman's like, "Okay, how did it happen? What happened? What's what's the details?" And he just doesn't know anything. And he's like, >> "They just got divorced." >> Yeah, they got divorced. >> And it's like common sense to him to be like, "I told you it happened." But on her side of common sense, she's like, "That's not saying anything." >> Like, you just spent 6 hours with them. How do you not know anything?
0:50 >> Yeah. And I'm sure we all have ████ stories where we come back and then like our wives are like, "Oh, so what happened?" And I'm like, "Oh yeah, they broke up." And they're like, "Really?" Like, "Why?" And I'm like, "Just happened." They want the details. They want like, "Oh, it all started." Because, you know, in high school, they're kind of already a ████ already. And then they want all these crazy things. But I don't I also realize there's two parts of me. There's one part I have dude brain, which is like the typical one where it's like you don't ask the right details or go in the right direction. The other one um >> is robot brain. robot brain where I just don't know how to like articulate feelings. >> So, you wouldn't even be able to pass on my feelings if I told you about them. >> Well, it takes me a a long time to register, absorb it, and become thoughts. >> You'd have to use a lot of anecdotes.
1:40 >> So, if we hung out, Jill would be like, "So, how was hanging out with Ryan?" I'm like, "Oh, it was good." And for her, she would expect eight hours of hanging out would convert to maybe at least an hour of conversation, not two words or like three words. Yeah. >> Or it's good. Or it's bad. We got in an accident. >> That's Are all of you guys like that guy in the example? >> I'm >> I have been that guy. >> I Yeah. >> Like I I've been like we're like, "Oh, so how was so and so?" And I'm like, "Yeah, it was chill." And then she's like, "Uh, what about this? What about that?" And I'm like, "I didn't even bother to ask." Like to me like these simple questions that they have it blows my mind like oh man I should have thought of that. >> Is that dependent on how close you are to the person though? Cuz if it's a guy you kind of don't know that well you kind of don't ask that much. >> No. Yeah.
2:30 >> I think it depends. So for example, right? Like um let's say I do know and you told me a lot. >> Okay. But I also forget like and it's like I don't know about you guys, but it's a lot of ████ brain power to repeat this ████ the same ████ way. So like let me just give you the bullet points, but the bullet points ain't satisfying. It's very It's a lot of brain power for me to express someone else my emotions on top of someone else's emotions. But if it was details like what did you guys do? Tell me A to Z. I can go out. We drove down the street. But if it has to be feelings, >> so boring. >> Yeah. If it has to be feelings, it's really hard for me. >> Also, it's like I don't I don't know if care is the right word because we do go through some ████
3:20 right? And then like we Yeah. Like this this is what happened or whatever. We'll we'll re retell a story. We've done it here. We can do it. But for some reason, like >> I feel like there's so much detail, but also I don't care about it enough to remember it enough. >> You know what I mean? Like I don't know. >> Here's also a thing though, like often times when I'm meeting up with like a male homie, we're not meeting up for like coffee and catching up. >> There's an agenda >> the way that like girls will do it. Like I usually am hanging out. It's like if I'm hitting 18 holes on a golf course, like hitting a hole, like really driving a ball is not going to make me all of a sudden be like, "All right, so like you were telling me about this situ like, >> man, hitting the ball well today." >> Yeah, that's it. And then like you might in between because it's a 4-hour game, ask some personal questions be like,
4:11 "Oh, wo, that's crazy." But you're not literally diving into things to like understand everything you've been through the whole time. So when you go back and then your wife's like, "Hey, what'd you guys talk about? Like how's this person doing?" I might actually be telling you 90 80 to 90% of what I actually heard, but like the entire time we were just chilling. And that's how we that's how we catch up as boys sometimes. You're like doing stuff together. You're giving each other time. >> Yeah. >> And like that's like your your love language already with your homie male. Just giving each other time >> cuz it's it's how we zen out. So, like I think guys have different boundaries when it comes to like not forcing someone to talk before they're ready. >> So, like it's like, "Oh, you went through a divorce." I know my homie if he's going through a hard time, he's like, "Bro, I need I need to talk. I
5:02 need to get this ████ out of my chest." >> Other ████ so that he doesn't have to dwell on being divorced. >> Exactly. So, you're going golfing to get your mind off of it for a minute. >> Homie is like, "I'm going to tell you all this stuff." A lot of that time, too. out of respect for your homie. That's not stuff you're supposed to share right away to your wife. >> Bingo. Whether they tell you that or not between us and it's like, "Okay, well then when I get home, what'd you talk about?" Nothing. >> Yeah. >> And how many times have we learned like I think this is a thing that guys learned very early on that if you tell your girlfriend anything, just know everyone's going to find out. >> And not all women are are like tell like like loose slippers, but >> if it's a chick community, that s███'s getting around, >> right? And then so for us, out of respect, like that was supposed to be for my ears, right? It's not supposed to be for anybody else. He's trusting me with this. And you know, you come home, you're like, well,
5:52 >> also it's really hard to retell the details. So I'll tell you the gist of it. >> And then it's like you kind of just learn over time. You tell your sister this, your mom this, everyone's going to know. So out of respect for your homie, you don't know what information he wants out there. You just don't tell girls everything. You know what it's really about is like I think if you're just normal like dude brain dude then you would just be like yeah we just hung out but like like for instance like I hung out with Jason Channy like back when I was still living in LA. We hung out for like hours just like chilling talking about whatever. And then I get home and Smack's like oh what did you do? And I was like oh I hung out with Jason Chenny it was pretty cool. Oh yeah how what happened? Oh yeah you know we talked a lot about a bunch of stuff. You know what's crazy? I think it's taken it feels like it's really taken a toll that he has to leave so much and stuff. She's like, "Oh, yeah, really?" And then we talk about what that perspective might be like. And it's not like me telling
6:42 her what he said. It's more like me summing up how he felt about something and then find like we just talk about ways that we would identify with that or or find empathy with that or be like, "Oh man, if that was me, like what what would it be like for you?" Like >> Yeah. Because now you're you're having your guys' conversation. >> Exactly. Yeah. But I'm not just like repeating everything he said. I'm like, this is a big thing that I got from this and I thought it would be cool to talk about. >> I think Gio wished I could do that. >> What the hell? >> I'm learning to do that. >> I think we wish you could do that. >> I think you wish too. But I think I think for me uh for the longest time Gio would I mean people ask Gio like, "Oh, what did Bar do at JK? What did Barb do at Barbara?" Whatever. She was like, "Man, I wish I knew." Because I think whatever I experienced I don't I don't like experiencing emotions too many times. So like let's say we had
7:33 >> with a neck brace on is hilarious. >> So like let's say we had a hard day at JK some fire we had to put out. >> Okay. >> It's at the end of that solution it's already been like right when I go home if like oh like how was with the day? I don't want to go through it again. So I'm like oh it was cool. And then so there's never I don't like experience like too much of that. So she feels like she's always in the dark. >> Oh. >> But I think what she wants because she's asked me a million times and I'm way better now than I was before. >> Uh is like she wants like a peep inside. But to be able to run through the same thing, it's it's so it's so tough for >> you shouldn't have married a robot. >> Speaker phone filing a fake insurance claim. You you're pretty good at telling a story. I think >> fake stuff. Yeah. It's just such a matching to your
8:23 visual. >> How much is it for you guys where uh you were probably told but you forgot. >> Well, the thing is it's not really about that. It's about how something that person said made you feel and you have to remember what you felt. You can't ask Ryan because Ryan remembers everything. >> Well, that's that I also do. I forget a lot, too. I'm not going to lie. good feelings >> because I I I also sometimes know that's not the the full basis of why we hung out or like what we really took away from that moment. >> Sometimes when I like hang out with my boy and I want to like actually tell him something that's going on sometimes, and this is insecure me, I'll admit it, right? Sometimes I'm saying it not because I like need that guy to help me. Sometimes it's that I need that guy to be able to listen so I could just be like, "Oh, I got off my chest so I could look weak here." Cuz I'm not trying to put that at home. But and and when you get annoyed when he tries to fix it, you're like, "I'm not trying to have you fix this.
9:14 >> I just need you to listen. >> Need you to listen right now. Please just listen to me right now." >> Sometimes I don't actually want to like talk about other things like that with like Nina at home because like that's where I I just want to be more like about you. Why would I want to talk to you about you? >> You know, you're holding the fort. Yeah, >> I I get it. Of course, there's a bunch of topics, but it's very healthy to be like, "This is where I'm blah blah blah or weak or let's talk about my feelings." Whatever. >> It also helps you sort it out when you're telling someone else. It kind of helps you arrange your own thoughts when you just kind of spill it all out and you're both looking at it and you're like, "Oh, yeah. I guess I'm not as pissed as I thought I was about this thing." I don't think I'm omocrron levels of memory retainage, but I think I'm pretty good. Like 85% maybe I'll remember what was said, but I just don't know if I want to get into it immediately. You know what I mean? Like if I come home and it's like, "Hey, what did you guys talk about?" Oh, I'm like,
10:05 we just talked about it for like 4 hours. Like, do I want to talk about it for another one hour? Nah. >> So, I'm like, h no, you know, nothing. >> That's why bullet point politics, religion, relationship. >> Oh, he goes he just goes subject header. >> Yeah, that's it. >> We talked about ball. We talked about ball. We >> He's not even at synopsis. He's just like chapter title. >> That's the way I do it. I I just try to form like how something made like if you told me a story when we're hanging out, I'm not going to repeat the story. I'm going to repeat what I learned from it or how that changed how I saw something. >> Unless the story is that good. >> Yeah. If it's meant if it's meant to be passed, >> but usually they're looking for juicy gossip though, right? Cuz like what they want is the details of the divorce, the breakup, was there like a was there cheating, was there what happened? Right? So, like >> if it's even like gossip, I think they
10:55 want to know the inner workings of the mind and what people's opinions and perspectives are cuz that's how that helps them like understand what is going on. I think they just want you to talk honestly >> cuz I was thinking about the the golfing the divorce and >> it's just they want to they want to bond with what you bonded with. >> It's like passing on the bond or something. >> I want to bond with my friend. >> The what? >> Never mind. >> Well, they want to bond with you over the thing that you just experienced. So if it's like if you went to go watch a movie and you love the movie, they want to love the movie too. >> I want them to ask me more about the movies I watched. >> They are asking you. >> I say them, >> but then but then >> Well, they them. >> But then it's me coming home from the movie going, "Oh, it was cool." >> Yeah. >> And they're like, "Well, did you love the movie? I ████ love that. I want to watch it again." Well, what do you love about it? It was pretty good.
11:46 >> That's a really good example, though. It's like talking about a movie. What do you say when someone asks you how was it? Do you just say it was good or do you say like oh man there's a scene in there that really got me like I didn't think about it this way but blah blah like it's >> I'll say do you want the long version, the medium version or the short version cuz I can do all three cuz I if I like something I can do all three. >> I think that's the key though. I think they're asking something that they like that you don't like. So like you're getting this information you're really not into it that much anyway. There were so many other highlights that happened that you care about even more and she doesn't want to hear about how you ████ did a hole in one. >> She doesn't want to know that you did a birdie. She doesn't give a ████ about that. It's like to me that was more fun. >> Guys care about that but girls don't give a ████ >> That was way more fun than the divorce talk to be honest. Like and that's what I take away from it. >> And that's that's what you do when you
12:36 know like the person you're talking to, right? Like you're you're you're trying to be like, "Okay, I just had four hours of conversation with my homie." But like when you're asking like how did it go? If I tell you what we really talked about, it's boring. >> You're not going to give two ████ So I have to be like, "What do you actually care about?" Oh, like Yeah. Uh he's going through a divorce, but we only talked about it for 5 minutes. He didn't dive into it. >> Yeah. >> Be like, "Well, what were you doing for 4 hours?" Like, "Well, you're not really >> talking about the Lakers." >> You don't want to know that when your girl tells you that someone you know is getting a divorce. You as guys are just like, "Cool." >> No, I'm I'm curious. I'll be like, "Oh, like what's going on?" But when I ask what's going on, it's whatever you want to tell me if you're interested in continuing talking about it, >> which is already more than what you would say as a guy. I I'm expecting the same. It's like if you're asking me, you're asking on what I care to share. >> Yo, if if they got divorced cuz they get they got caught sucking a politician's
13:27 dick and some crazy ████ went down, I'm telling that story. That s███'s interesting. >> Absolutely. That's what I'm saying. If it's a good story, >> but if it's some standard ████ like ████ he cheated but with a maid or I don't know like it's >> No, that's still good. I That's still good. That's still good. >> You think Melania does that? Like so how was it? He's like oh we got him. >> Tell me what is Maduro like what was the juicy detail? >> It probably is. >> National secrets is crazy. >> So I we ████ scouted his ass and we ████ kidnapped his ass >> in bed. >> What else do you want? If it's a good story, I'm often times looking at my homie and being like, I'm going to tell Nah if that's cool. >> I say that all the time. >> Yeah, >> cuz cuz I I just understand like, damn, that's ████ juicy and she cares about knowing about you. It's not just like gossip. It's like she cares about you too as a person. I'm like, I'm going to tell her if that's cool.
14:17 >> Guys that don't, right? I'm I'm thinking one, they just don't give a ████ or two, they don't they like what do you call it? Like it's it's almost as if like they don't even bother to ask a question. They don't like you know how some guys they're just they just they're not they don't they're not storytellers and they're not inquisitive. Like >> they just I think we recognize different elephants in the room. >> If I did my first hole in one that's my elephant in the I can't wait to share that for her. It's like wait the divorce is obviously the elephant in the room. Like you got to talk about that but we're just looking at different things. >> Oh I think that's a Yeah, 100% what it is. >> But then I'm like you don't even care about my hole in one. >> Exactly. And then I bring up logistical statistics. I'm like hole in ones are more rare than divorces in America. >> And the divorce happens every day. >> Yeah. I I think it boils down to that. What we find important and exciting is completely opposite from them. Like I
15:08 don't care about your guys' siblings. I care about you. >> Hey man, bro, I'll go through an divorce and get two hole in ones. >> And I sure don't give a ████ about your cousins either. Cousin stories need to ████
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