0:00 That stereotype that all guys inflate like multiply the body count by three and girls divide by three. >> I think so. >> Oh. >> Oh. If we multiply by three, I might be able to get two In-N-Out meals. >> $5 or $10. >> Double double though. >> Welcome back to another episode of Careful Boys, where Anthony is the most irresponsible human >> in JK. Anthony Anthony uh freaked out, thought he lost his phone and realized it was under his ass. >> That happens to me. That's been happening to me a lot more recently. Is this good content? I think it's good content. >> I think it is because sometimes you like it's it's so widely believed that you never have like unslick moments, >> especially Anthony cuz you're the sex, so everything seems smooth.
0:50 >> No, there's a new crown as of yesterday. Do you not remember? Do you not remember when I did this? >> Oh, he has a new crown. >> No, no, he has the junior crown. I was high school. I peaked in high school. You guys you guys had it better in later in life. >> I think Ryan's still peeking. >> Hey. Uh, so here's here's a fun question that I've been seeing a lot of people ask on street interviews and I thought it was really funny. If you're um let's say you get a dollar for every one of your body counts, what do you think you could buy with that? >> Hot Cheetos. >> The big bag. >> A dollar. Like like you'd be you'd be a shareholder in Hot Cheetos. >> Like you own 51% of the company. >> It's one large bag, dude. >> How much is a large bag these days? Like five bucks maybe. >> Doesn't it say 99 cents on it?
1:41 >> The large What inflation era are you in, bro? >> Okay. No way. >> What kind of graphics card do you think you could buy with your butt? >> I cannot buy a graphics card. I could buy I could buy I could buy a handful of Skittles from like the >> the supermarket. You put a couple >> You can get an Arizona iced tea. I >> I don't think I can even afford an Arizona iced tea. I could get I can get four gumballs, I think. >> Can't even buy a full book of stamps from the post office. >> But they're locked at 99 cents, aren't they? >> Stamps? >> No. Arizona iced tea. >> No, no way. They're like a dollar something with tax. >> Oh, it's like a $129 now. >> You can't even get a Costco hot dog. >> Yeah, bro. I can't. >> You can't get a Costco hot dog. >> Close to this guy. I can't even buy a In-N-Out meal. Like a $5 In-N-Out meal. >> Meals are not $5. Where are you? Right now >> they're like 10 bucks. >> What are we in 1999? What's going on? >> You defeat the mystique of the answer when you say a $5 thing.
2:33 >> Oh, you know, you know, >> we should just ask Bart what certain things are. >> What you think this is? >> In traditional JK fashion, I got to make up some technicalities and rules though. First of all, hookers don't count like as people in society. >> It'll count as your body count. >> Don't count. I I disagree with your take, bro. >> What if she's counting you and her body count? You're one of her notches. >> If it's mutual, it counts, dude. >> You never know, dude. She might be remembering you fondly. >> So that's like a like a hooker has sex with like a >> She's like, "Remember that guy that ████ ate me out?" >> Hey, a hooker has sex with like a 100 clients and then has sex with two people she likes? Her body counts two. >> Yep. >> Oh >> yeah, right, bro. >> I think so. >> Not in God's eyes. >> You believe that that um what is it? That stereotype that all guys inflate like multiply the body count by three and girls divide by three.
3:23 >> I think so. >> Oh. >> Oh. If we multiply by three, I might be able to get two In-N-Out meals. $5 or $10. >> Double double though. >> Wait. Guys divide, right? >> No. He literally just said multiply. >> Girls, they want to be all shy. I'm I'm innocent. >> Oh, I was thinking girl, but then guy came up into my mouth, >> dude. When I was ████ looking for a truck. The ████ This ████ did this ████ to me with a truck. >> What do you mean? She told you there were less miles. >> Always are known. Girls are ████ lying sacks of ████ These ████ ████ You know how they always want to lower their body count. >> Body count. >> The truck had a lower ownership count. >> Exactly. So, I found this Tundra I wanted to get. Messaged her. Oh, how many prior owners? She's like, oh, oh, two. I'm Oh, cool. Can you send me your VIN? Sure. Send me the VIN. There was four prior owners divided by two, you
4:13 ████ lying sack of ████ Yeah, >> but maybe she got lied to cuz girls be taking advantage of >> see the record on like can't they see the >> maybe she don't know what Carfax is cuz she's so girl and stupid. >> They'll just do that with all numbers. >> Yep. Well, I bet a lot of people don't do their due diligence and actually like look up the >> Dude, maybe she got lied to cuz girls get taken advantage of. >> Oh, dude. That's a politician. >> Yeah, also true. Cuz girls be dumb and they don't know Carfax and ████ You know how girls buy things not on specs? I like this phone. What does it do? I don't know. It's so cute. >> You know how she got her facts? >> Cuz she said two prior owners, right? So, she bought the car from a couple, a husband and wife. So, she goes, "Oh, yeah. Two people used to own it." >> Oh, you think she's having like a like a bubblehead moment and just like saying random stuff? >> Check the VIN. >> Plus, also, she's the third prior owner
5:04 in her mind, too. >> Yeah, >> she counts herself as owner. >> She should have She should have counted herself. Did um did did your body count ever uh become a problem in a relationship or dating or anything like that? >> I don't think girls care, dude. >> You don't think girls care? >> Oh, interesting. >> I've never had judgment. I think you just got lucky. >> I think you matched up with similar girls. Cuz if yours was like, let's say, 50, this chick is one or two, I think she would care. >> Well, I've been ████ some dirty ass ████ then. girls uh care as much as like you care. >> Yeah. >> So, if you're just like, "What's your body count?" They're going to be like, "No, I'm not going to tell you. I'm not going to tell you." And then you like force it out of them. Then they're going to be like, "What's yours?" And now you have to tell them the truth, too. >> And then and then the next thing you say is, "Hookers don't count." Okay.
5:57 >> I hooked up with a girl because I told that story on David's podcast and she got horny hearing it. >> Wait, what? Yeah. Was what the hell? How did I How did you even connect with him after? >> Steve, we did a uh we did a show and then Steve hooked me up. >> And she told me, she was like, "I wanted to date you cuz I heard this. I heard that story and it turned me on." And I was like, "You're ████ crazy." >> Freaking weird, dude. >> Like I like it though. >> That's never happened to you before where like some girl >> with hookers? >> Not with hookers, but like a girl was like, >> "Hookers don't count. >> How many girls you been with, Anthony? Am I the only one?" And you had to be like, "Yeah, >> a long time ago." >> Oh, like >> like when you're young, like that ████ you care about. But that's also probably because like you have a very low body count. >> Yeah. >> But like the second like >> dude, they knew. >> The second like you like talk to
6:47 somebody and then your body count's like lower than theirs and then you hear it, you're like, I wish we never talked about this. >> Yeah. That's always like a It's almost like a freaking draw, Pilgrim. >> Yeah. >> And then you're just like, oh. >> Or maybe somebody wins, but then everybody still also loses after that. To me, if a girl has sex with less than five guys or 10, she's a virgin. >> Five or 10? >> Whoa, that was a nice spread. >> That's a good range. Yeah, >> depending on her age. So, then how do you treat her differently when she's at 11? >> 50. 10 is okay. >> Okay, but what if she ████ 10 guys a thousand times versus like 500 guys one time? >> Oh, the Bruce Lee method of mastering a kick. >> Expert. Cuz that's basically Nick and Tiff. >> 500 one time. Like 500 dudes one time each. >> Yeah. Yeah. Or hoe. >> You mean Bonnie Blue style? >> That's a hoe, dude. >> Or 10 guys 1,000 times each. That's not
7:37 bad. It's 10 guys. >> Oh, okay. >> That's like, oh, this guy likes to walk their dog a lot. >> That's Yeah, that's >> Or this guy walks everyone's dogs. >> Yeah, this guy's walking everybody's dogs. Like, dude, which one do you actually love? >> Yeah. >> I ████ my ex in this 5-year long-term relationship millions of times. And it's like, so you know what matters, I think, to girls more than the number. So like, let's say you've been with like 10 girls or whatever, right? >> Way more than that. >> Probably not a problem. >> Yeah, I know. I'm just hypothetical if you can, Anthony. >> And we're not counting hookers. >> Let's say that like um you you got to tell her that. I think like if you that's whatever, but compared to like let's say you've been with two girls and one of them is like a girl she doesn't like, it's over. You know what I mean? Like you could you could be with a 100
8:28 girls, it's like whatever. But that if you've been with one girl that she doesn't respect or thinks is beneath her, good luck, sir. >> Or is insecure about for whatever reason >> or that too. Yeah. >> But it helps if they think the girls you date are hot cuz then they'll go, I want you more. >> It elevates you. Huh. >> Do hookers count there? >> No. But hookers know how to make you feel special and you're the only one. And then you go, man, you just wanted my money. the after you nut. >> That's what I feel like happened with uh Pete Davidson. I feel like he got lucky with one and then everyone else is like, "Oh, I want to date the guy that looks like he's going through chemo." >> Yep. >> Yeah. >> He's the best rebound man. >> Yeah. And then that keeps elevating his stock cuz all these other hot chicks want to date chemo. >> And then they break up and then they go,
9:18 "You know what? Pete was really good to Kim and if anyone can make Kim feel good, I'll he could probably make me feel good and then they all want to turn with >> Yeah. I mean, >> would you rather be a passound guy like that or would you rather be the main heartthrob? >> What's the difference? >> Like upper echelon women or like heart throb for who? >> That's true. We're not talking Walmart or hookers, okay? We're talking about Pete D. Okay. Yeah, he's getting passed around by people that made the world go, "How the ████ is this guy became new? >> I don't mind. I don't mind. I'll be pass guy. >> I rather be passed around." >> King of ████ fud district 7 or whatever. >> King of >> I don't want to be that ████ slayer over there. I rather get passed around around that circle. >> If I was a single guy, I'd rather be I'd
10:09 rather be rebound boy. If I was looking for marriage, >> I ain't trying to waste my time because I want to be respected. >> That's really cool. >> That's how that's how life should be >> that to to want respect for yourself. >> No. >> To be passed around >> by upper echelon women. >> That's what happened to me. I think I lost my virginity uh sooner than most of my friends. I lost when I was I think 15. >> Yeah. And then I and then I started racking up a body count cuz uh I mean very small. You can't even buy In-N-Out meal. By the time I think I was a junior or something, it was like four already. And then so I was like, oh ████ I'm a ████ hoe. >> He's a hoe. >> Yeah, cuz you're not even 18 yet, right?
11:00 I'm like, I'm a ████ hoe. What the ████ And then so from >> got Buddhist skills >> senior year, >> give him the crown, dude. Give him the crown. >> Give him the junior crown. to you and your crown is his >> until uh all the way till like ████ after college. I was just celibate the whole time cuz then I was like I'm not going to be ████ hoing around anymore. I was already a hoe in high school and I need to figure out if I want to be good in this whole marriage thing. I can't be like >> But then like you thought of all that yourself, right? Like nobody made you feel bad. >> No one made me feel bad. I made that. >> I just have I'm just sitting there in a ████ 95 Civic and listening to ATB and I go that I'm a ████ hoe. >> You know, you know I had a weird rule. >> I was like the girl I lose my virginity to, she has to be a virgin, too. >> I had that, too. That's a good rule.
11:50 That's a good >> I don't know why I made that. So, all the girls I >> It's ideal, right? >> We would suck each other off. We would jack each other off. We would ████ kiss each other off. would dry hump each other off and they'll be horny as ████ And then I'm like, nope, cuz you're not a virgin. And I look back and I'm like, that is so mean. That's so stupid. Why is that mean? What do you mean? Because she wants it. And then we're already getting hella intimate. And then I'm just like saying, "Ew, you're But you're not a virgin, so you could suck my dick, but we can't f███." >> Girls have the right to say the same thing, too. Right. >> It's called boundaries, Joe. >> I just think it's ████ up. I'm over here getting ████ from her, but then and then I'll eat her ████ And I'm not even doing it right cuz I didn't even know where the click clip was. And then I'm saying I won't stick my dick in you though cuz you're wrong. >> It does. It's stupid. >> We could just We could just 69 the whole
12:41 time though. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, I know, right? >> Maybe >> missing that clip the whole time. ████ try to ████ ████ her with my tongue and it's not even doing it right. It's so stupid. It's ████ teenage Joe. I look back and I'm like, "Dude, you're so dumb, dude." >> I just laugh at the idea of you being like, "Nope, you're not a virgin." But you're like saying it like while looking back. Nope. >> Not ready. >> My foot this one time. >> Don't put it in. You're not a virgin. No penetration here. >> The stupid rules we make up. Like >> were you getting your butt munched on back then? >> No. I didn't even know that existed. >> I didn't even know existed. >> No. I had no idea. >> Back then it was probably like, "Yo, dude, you're not letting girls munch on butts." >> Wasn't even It wasn't even in your thought to like >> you to that. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> One of my ex's
13:33 >> proposed it to me when I was 19. >> Oh, okay. Like a Shark Tank proposition. >> For her to eat yours. >> She goes, "You might like it." And I was like, "That is so gay." >> For that reason, I'm out. >> Yeah. For that reason, I'm out. And I was like, "And after that, I was like, I didn't even shower and you were proposing that you nasty." >> Right. >> She still did it. No, I was too scared. >> You were What do you think was gonna happen? What are you scared of at the time? >> I don't know. >> Liking it. >> No, I was 19 and I I just didn't even want to question that cuz everything was gay to at 19. Even when a woman does it done it, I was like, "That's gay." >> Also, it's the early 2000s and almost everything is gay. >> I thought anal sex with a woman was gay. >> Some people still argue that it is >> cuz I'm like that's a butthole, dude.
14:24 You probably want a man's butthole. That's why you're doing it to a girl's butthole. >> Yeah, that's what some people still say to this day. Yeah, >> but I mean I don't know. I just probably somebody said that to me and I was like, you're right. That's gay. You know, and then later >> I don't think that. >> No, I don't think so at all. >> It's a woman. You could do any She could ████ you with a dildo. It's not gay cuz it's a woman. >> Okay. >> Found Anony's line. >> Yeah. Yeah. That >> that's a loophole. Really? >> Definitely was my line. >> ████ don't count. >> Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. You know why you guys know that cringey ass story my friend told me? He's like out of nowhere he was like all the all the one night stands I had. I feel disgusting. And I'm like really? I'm like I I know you only had one seriously serious girlfriend. You haven't dated since we were in college. He goes oh you don't understand. Everywhere I go I travel. I have one night stands. And I'm like you
15:15 are not Rico Suave. I pick up women at the bar. And then and then and he was like yeah I just get all these hookers. And I'm like they don't count. They're not They're not a party. That's what I'm saying. >> That's a difference. He's calling it a one night stand. >> That's not a one night stand. >> Don't romanticize it. >> Comedy. Yeah. >> He's implying that he's like getting these ladies, >> right? He's like calling himself a heartbreaker. >> But they still count. They still count to the body count. I think hookers aren't majority of your body count. They don't count to your body count then. >> Yeah, cuz he was like hundreds of women. I've had it with hundreds. And I was all like, >> he's like Colombians, Venezuelans. I was like, what the hell? And I was sitting there like that does not count at all. >> There's definitely an asterk though. >> To close it, if you had to include hookers in your body count, total all of it all together, what do you think you could buy? >> You think I buy a gazebo at Costco?
16:07 >> Tough shed. >> I could probably get a Dell taco with uh three tacos and a quesadilla. >> You get a Dell Taco. >> Get a a franchise. the whole franchise. I don't think I could even do a million women even if they were paid. That's a lot.
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