0:00 [Music] welcome back to careful boys where we keep it exceptionally pc just in case careful boys don't get cancelled oh guys no we need a better uh catchphrase welcome back to careful boys where we are very very where we talk about the things that we are permitted to do this day and age so we don't jeopardize what we have left here hey ████ dave chappelle cheers very careful yeah that's careful i'm gonna see him next week let's go dude hey i don't know if that's norm mcdonald died that's a probably good news [Laughter] i don't drink the bat that's probably probably is what gets paid because that's pretty safe you leave it up in the air a little bit hey so you guys been watching squid
0:50 games and you guys nope everybody i refuse it's a very fast why do you refuse to watch no i actually i saw the trailer for it and i'm like damn this is so scary i can't watch this kind of i've been traveling i can't watch scary ████ it does give me harder to watch it gives me anxiety i have nightmares that are visceral and um yeah for us like you can't watch scary what's up visceral because i know there's visceral fat and sub you subcutaneously i just don't know what this rule um my nightmares are that i'm routinely visited by a shadow man who wants to take over my body and make me kill myself that's pretty true i had a crazy night is that a movie no i had so i had a crazy nightmare i have a crazy nightmare for those of you guys who are in long-term relationships i want to hear what you guys would have done okay so my nightmare was in my in my cause this is something i never consider in uh in the dream
1:40 geo dies right yeah so like like imagine your wife dying all right people are your fiance dying i can't even imagine i've had dreams of geo dying i wake up and i'm like careful oh ████ like what would i do now i could ████ with our way is is my life does my life trajectory go the same way because now it's just me and tyka right yeah i'm like do i move back to california do i stay in vegas like not if you drop them off at the orphanage um stay in entertainment or do i do do i find a nine-to-five job because now my responsibilities are different my support system is different my entire the way you you had all this thought process oh when you woke up oh okay and i was like oh ████ that's great that's something i never even consider getting taxed as a single man is horrible stay in nevada ████ yeah that's why i'm gonna get married to a hooker oh cool that's so smart there's all those thoughts
2:30 all those thoughts ran through my brain and i'm like that's ████ crazy because this is like the like uh emergency that happened or that's possible that i didn't prepare for like i got it all over my house i have backup savings i have all kinds of things right but like so have you guys thought of anything like that i'm not even in your lifestyle right now but i i'm not talking about three i think about that i do think about that so what would like what would you would you still be doing a personal trainer would you still honestly i have no idea i think it's different because i don't have a kid i think when you have a kid in there that changes everything yeah so what joe said drop them off at the orphanage is probably the only way to go that's ████ trying to get some puss pulling you're good i think you're good no but so that is pretty crazy out of all the things we're gonna talk about today didn't think we're gonna talk about this about our potential significant other crazy right
3:22 this this over debbie does dallas yeah yeah maybe maybe let me tell you a happy story all right i'll tell you what happened i would have the video playing no no it's still in context to bart's thing right you guys know ████ uh soy tiet yeah 42 43 okay so my friend manages him you have a dick on your head by the way all right so new style so basically um he has a story just like that so his dad was a singer soy tian's dad he's a singer and then he was in love and um soy they had soy tiat right and um his mom died of tuberculosis or something like that so his dad went into this depression all this stuff he couldn't deal with it no more he wasn't making any money so he had to give soy tia up to the orphanage
4:14 but after he did that he couldn't um face him no more so after that he you know because his soy tie reminded him of his of his wife and the family and his dad just ████ completely outed he bounced so soy tia the reason why this fool only got three teeth and he looks like he's 12 years old but he's like 30 something yeah is he's malnourished and he grew up in an orphanage and and his teeth was rotting and ████ like that and things weren't getting fixed and so he stayed in there for quite some time and all he would see his friends get like adopted and all that and he goes one day my time will come and so during that time he's like singing and dancing and ████ and doing his ████ thing right he's counting the amount of people who haven't adopted him yeah 44 45 is that where it came from
5:04 holy ████ 242 165 you know how high did he get to 3 45 triple digits triple digits infinity yeah man it was like he's like noah wanted to adopt him because he was the ugliest one you know they would adopt all the other kids but they don't want a three teeth kid right so he fight his finds out he's 18 right the orphanage is like all right you're ████ too old now you got to find somebody quick his aunt comes over and then she's like hey you know what i'll i'll adopt you and then he's like when he's 18 i'm gonna have a family right he's like i'm gonna have a family and then he gets to the ████ village and then she goes here's a whip go hurt them them cattle earn your keep wow yeah so so he thought he was gonna be like this fawn family whatever he's just
5:54 ████ whipping cattle a farmhand now farm boy that's it and then he's learning how to count and seem and he goes viral boom this one's learning how to count yeah that's that's why he made those videos yeah and this one makes hundreds of thousands of dollars which is like being a ████ bazillionaire in his little village good for him dude he's feeding his village he's ████ buying all this ████ for everybody and then everyone gets jealous of them wait you said that he he got adopted at like 18. a little old and he's like 30 some now so he took him like 10 plus years to count he counts a lot counted a lot he was practicing english yeah yeah just want to get the timetable but he's lonely as ████ right because now he's alienated because he's too successful and and that the the village peoples don't like that ████ right so they're just like hey man you'll take care of us whatever he's he's literally giving them
6:46 so much money like he's buying people farms and everything but they still jealous so he's isolated smart people right so then um he goes to the big city he meets my buddy he ████ grabs his hand and he goes i don't know who you are but i need you to protect me please don't ████ me over like everyone else has and the guy that was managing him just uh he basically had his instagram and he was what my friend found out was that this dude was taking like 80 ████ percent of all these things yeah he was taking mad money from him so then he was like this is ████ up so he switched over whatever whatever and then he's like now he's getting like a salary and he's making good and then um they're trying to get him to america so that's the that's the that's the happy story but yeah it kind of reminds
7:36 me of like that it's like what would you do if man what a happy story yeah dude what a turn how's that connected to geo's death is what i wanted people significant others like like for example like let's say you're um it's you never want it to happen but like let's say your fiance passed away right your trajectory the same with what you have going on is it exactly the same or does it go left turn right turn or uh i think my my trajectory in terms of what i personally do to like either earn income or like find stability for myself is the same but like what i do with that is is different like i would just um uh like right now i don't have to like take care of her parents or anything like that yeah but i assume i will even if she stays alive yeah but if she were to pass then i would probably have that responsibility somehow subconsciously in
8:26 my mind like pushed up i know what steve would do he'd go on a deep dark depression no and then and then he won't even be able to live anymore no the only way i could i could get by is if i start two of the timing fans dude that's that's a dream i haven't even just to add to that i never had a dream where she died i only have dreams or thoughts of when i die what would happen oh you're so narcissistic and uh how how that would affect how i would compile like my will right now i i know what my will is you won't get ████ ████ common ████ everybody yeah my kids only my wife get that notarized too because she's playing you're sucking my dick she deserves everything what about you i love them i would yeah i would just ████ freestyle it bart's ████ barbara walters on this show this is a
9:17 fun scenario dude no i'm just interested yeah cuz i've never had this dream until literally like a week or two ago i don't know it's crazy it's one of those things where you think about from time to time like in your deepest darkest like thoughts sometimes but then you don't really play for me at least i don't ever play out this scenario because you're we feel immortal no i'm i'm actually on stage with it where like i play outside and not not again playing out the scenario where like my fiance dies but like i said like i i don't really dream about my fiance that i have like daydreams or whatever like if i pass early what do i do with all my ████ and the right way to go about it because then i got i think about like uh all the things that i own my equity i think about my partners think about my parents i think about my sister i think about her i think about her parents and i'm like there's a lot of ████ that needs to be organized right now i'm naive enough to think like yo i'm like 35 i'm gonna live forever i don't even
10:07 have a will dude because exactly we could die now today's video is brought to you by babble babble is the number one language learning app right now hands down there is no competition like them it is pretty freaking awesome because when i was going through my journey all throughout europe i would just download and these different language apps right and then i would try to kind of like copy and do this stuff yeah and none of them really work thank goodness a lot of the people out there speak english yeah but i felt bad because beyond just saying hi and bi i wanted to show an effort of like hey i'm really trying to learn your language and whatever yeah but the apps were complicated i don't know if i was pronouncing things right and a lot of it just was complete garbage and i wish
10:57 that i knew babel back then yeah because babel is super sick they got a speech recognition software so they'll repeat back to you and help you fine-tune your pronunciation so you can actually sound like you know what you're talking about and they got this ai that's designed by over a hundred language experts to help you learn it the quickest and the most effective way and there's so many ways to learn on babble because not only do they have the speech recognition and lessons but they also have podcasts and they make things fun with like games and videos and things like that so they really made like learning into this gamified fun thing and i think it's definitely there's a reason why they're the best learning app right now yeah and all you need is 15 minutes for each lesson so you can squeeze it in at the gym or on the train or even if you're in country just on the
11:48 subway pop it in learn a few lessons and it's really easy to learn on the go so if you're looking to learn a new language go to babel.com because right now if you buy three months you get another three months for free but you have to use the code off the record go to babel.com b-a-b-b-e-l.com use the code off the record to get six months for the price of three and that's the best you know why because it takes about 90 days to form a habit in six months is plenty of time for you to break through and get this acquire this new language yeah and if you're a good asian boy you probably learned two languages in that time that's true do any of you guys think about that any of you guys have life insurance i think i do yeah yeah yeah yeah um and i should get the most out of all of us a fat crypto stack for her but she doesn't know how to get to it so yeah that's what i'm saying like brother
12:38 though my younger brother knows how to do all that i trained him to do all that so that's he's my ace in the hole but also yeah dude so the biggest and most serious thing i can say is that if i lost nikki i don't even know how i would operate anymore i told you you'd be depressed i know the whole world is upside down really honestly yeah you know you know that's probably why i don't want to think about it yeah yeah because we started exploring so i told you this and then we just started exploring other scenarios and i'm like okay what if like tycho passes away right and i'm like do we try to make another one i was like can we try to make another one and then she was like i don't know and i'm like whoa that caught me off guard you guys could adopt because the whole thing just kind of our whole world is upside down there's there's stories and i don't mean to bring this up in a native or whatever malicious way but there's stories of couples who are like i see too much of tyka in you and i have to leave you now yeah it's like
13:28 it's dad it's ████ up it's so you just don't know what psychology's gonna do to you that's what i was saying man you don't know what's gonna happen until something like that type of like actually happens trauma happens you know i mean like yeah it's one of those things where unless you pre-plan and you talk about it ahead of time so you can at least there's no plan for that though so you can at least be held accountable by things that you had discussed in a um a better state of mind for sure when it comes to like wills and stuff like that for sure but at the same time it's like what am i going to do with the rest of my life like if my significant other dies i mean i don't know i don't know what the answer to that is you know i mean like it's one of those things where yeah you have some plans like contingencies but that type of stuff it's like like no hard feelings my fiance dies i'm gonna do my best to take over parents and do my best to find some more ████ dude i will i will move on
14:18 why would you say why do you feel like you have an obligation to your fiance's parents though why wouldn't she i agree i feel the same way yeah why wouldn't you you know she's your only child they're my family too like well she's your only child i'm not just my fiance not that's i'm dismissing it but i've known these people for so long now like for then why do you call them these people huh i don't like them i don't like them but i have to take care of them uh no but but yeah i mean they can take care of themselves but i just want to make sure they're emotionally taken care of when i when i uh i used to always address um nina's parents as like their mrs this or mr that or their first name in a weirdly awkward professional way yeah and the second we got engaged i subconsciously allowed myself to call them like mom and pops you know what i'm saying so like
15:08 weirdest thing that i go through is telling my in-laws that i love them because i do love them but it's the weirdest thing because you don't feel like you deserve to tell them that you love them it's like the most awkward thing is i totally hear that and maybe that's the the weirdness of like you know if they were to pass why do i feel like a responsibility i don't know the second i allowed myself to view them as um surrogate parents and actual family yeah is the second that they are family regardless of life or death right like to like to the end so steve when you guys when you and nikki first got married yeah was it kind of weird initially to call nikki's parents like mom or dad or anything you know what's weird uh it might nicki will tell you this it's super odd but the first time that we met each other i didn't know nikki because i i was on youtube kinda and nikki was too but i didn't know how
15:59 to even watch anything on youtube yet so i didn't know who nikki was even though we were in the same sketch group at the time called toy sketch and so i met nikki's mom before i even met nikki even though i guess i met nikki earlier but i forgot wow but i remember hitting it off with nikki's mom that night like she's a sarcastic lady and she's also like this like white chick so i never thought it was nikki's mom wait how did you meet nikki's mom i was just sitting next to her at johnny rockets because it was like after the premiere of this movie so she came to support nikki and then i happened to get seated with nikki's mom and then nikki was like roaming with her boyfriend at the time and i was my chick at the time and like i just got to see with nikki's mom while her nicki and her boyfriend time were chilling and then my girlfriend the time was like chilling with other people and i just like was i don't know i like to just actually sit there and not not like
16:50 just say a bunch of ████ i like to just try to talk to have a real conversation yeah and she's about crypto and i was talking about crypto i was talking about bitcoin in 2013. listen it's only a dollar right now it's only bro if you were talking about bitcoins 2013 this is why i call you my crypto sense i bought bitcoin in 2013 but i wasn't talking about it dude i'm gonna buy 800 ethereum check this out y'all for five bucks ████ you man i'm sorry i'm sorry is the only soft spot he has it's the only soft spot i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry you're doing great now you're doing great thank you uh no but but nikki's mommy we really hit it off and so it's funny because i when i when i found out when i actually went to her house i was like oh my johnny rockets yeah it was like the weirdest thing like almost like i dated her mom yeah you went to you went to her house for her mom not her no no was it was her mom shot like wait that's the guy or did she
17:41 already know she already knew because nikki like what the ████ yeah yeah how do you know her yeah well no i at that point yes but but nikki's mom already knew that i was the guy that she talked to johnny rockets because she remembered me and nikki sent her pictures and stuff but then it was like weird as ████ and like i swear i just already knew these people like it's the weirdest coolest thing and her old man her old man hated every guy she brought in that house and her old man tells me he loves me all the time he hugs me he just wants to hang like he's he's a great man too he's a great man did you get him in the crypto i did and he bought ethereum at 35 whoa he loves me he loves of course he loves you holy ████ that's awesome i'll give a ████ of a dj ex-boyfriend comes in from my daughter's house and you ████ tell me you buy ether ████ 30 bucks your family yeah
18:32 you guys can break up in your family you're my will dude dude when i told him that i sent his daughter to las vegas recently using staking awards for crypto he was like that's so hot dude yeah dude i'm soaked i'm ████ soaked it's always cool when you could get along with the family oh i'm a good person i guess the most important and my my my um my brother-in-law dane is like the best dude like i'm so i feel just lucky because i i had i have brothers i have two two younger brothers my brothers nate and kenny and they're i love them and i love my my older sister who's hot as ████ but my brother-in-law dane is like are you not my sister is hot he let's go [Applause] finally so would you put your best in 10
19:23 seconds yeah for like an hour can we just keep it wholesome like just keep it back 10 seconds pause you know it's irresistibly hot yeah let's just say she's not in the negatives anymore but no i just feel lucky to even know these people i feel like they are my family as much as my family my family and so it's just great and so if i ever lost nikki that would that link would not be severed i love these people that's amazing that's cool yeah very lucky though because i know a lot of in-laws are like a nightmare and stuff yeah yeah actually immediate family is a nightmare too ████ yeah bro my aunts and uncles can kill themselves i don't care i always tell them i always tell jio's mom i'm like i love you more than my own mom and she's always laughing and she thinks i'm a joke about my now not really no i'm not but seriously you can't choose the family that you wish sometimes no i didn't how much i relate to that that's like the third uh leading cause of divorce is in-laws right yeah i think it's like a third or fourth it's like it's way the ████ up finance and uh
20:15 in-laws yeah because that's my mom schooled me on that ages ago she goes yo girls that you date don't just go for pretty like if you want long term look at their family study them carefully because you want them to ████ be cool so i was like okay that's some of the best advice you could ever give you yeah you're not marrying her you're marrying her family i will say i'm really lucky um uh nina's mom is the biggest kindred fan issue really yes what does she think about the japanese ████ you she knows more about kendra's than nina does it's great she's the one who like annoyingly up keeps nina on kin just happening really hi do you know blah blah blah blah blah right you know kendra's aren't costco now that's annoying to who not to you oh not to you baby she must hate me then huh sometimes she loves you
21:05 but she knows who you are she knows cuties now she knows who you are sometimes my family likes her stuff though it kind of backfires because jio's brother like watches all of our stuff and when we have family gatherings half of them are like cholos and just for fun like he'll just play like old ████ like me and joe dressed up like it's the uncles and ████ and they're just playing and then everyone's like hey what's up what's that who are you listening to you like check it out it goes hey that's not full right there right there scary sentence you guys are all talking ████ on geo every day go to school [Music]
22:04 you
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