0:00 But we're still in morning, by the way. >> Okay, so lunch, double bacon, cheeseburger, large fries, and soda. I think we could do that. >> That's regular. >> Yeah. >> But by this time, I probably already started to feel sick. >> Yeah, cuz we had two breakfast sandwiches, hash browns, a whole familysized bag of chips. >> By this time, we're already at almost 5,000 calories. >> Welcome back to Careful Boys. today. This video is titled, "Subenchow E2 from the United States National Guard got absolutely trashed last night." >> That one right there. Hey yo. Hey, let's clap it up for him, dude. >> Don't clap too loud, though. Apparently, >> I've been hearing him since 7 in the morning. Yak. I was just like, >> he said he was awake at 5 in the morning. >> Oh, maybe that's when it when I was a woke. >> Is he a loud Is he a loud yaker? >> Yeah,
0:51 >> he's everything. >> Is it? Well, cuz some people they just go >> I feel like he makes sound effects for his yak sound effects. You know what I mean? Like he goes like boom like he probably just adds >> damn poor fella. How many drinks did he have? >> I don't even know. >> Was he just buying hella rounds over? >> He kept on getting Yeah. more and more drinks. >> You guys kept drinking since like lunchtime. >> Okay, that's to be fair that that did happen. But he was very proactive on his own accord choosing to buy a beer first during at lunch. Choosing even there was a time >> I thought he saw you guys buy a beer first. >> He did. >> I didn't buy a beer. >> I got a beer and he >> That's how it started. >> He sipped it. He's like I want one. >> And then I'm just saying then there was a moment where you know we do our thing. We'll we'll do our shots and then he first complains about it. So I don't pour him the next one. But then he goes, "Hey, ████ off." Hey. And then we're
1:42 already in the next one and he's calling us out. So I'm like, "Okay, cool. I I guess he got stronger coming back from boot camp. >> Oh, he has a detoxed boot camp body. It It hit him like he's like 15 years old. >> Kind of. >> This guy was calling me low rank yesterday. Dude, you can't Can you even keep up with the ████ low ranks, boy? >> Bro, he said you would tap out at boot camp. >> He did. >> It was fun though. We had fun last night. We were celebrating Anony's birthday. Happy birthday. >> Happy birthday. Subie's birthday too. >> Subie's birthday as well. >> Yeah, he kind of latched on to my birthday. >> He definitely did. He definitely did. Okay, we'll give him space. >> He was blaming the dinner last night when I came out. He's like, I think the meat didn't sit well. And I was like, I think it's the alcohol, dude. >> Yeah, dude. Meat's that great. >> I was like, I feel like none of us got sick from the >> None of us are throwing up.
2:32 >> I think we're food poisoning, man. >> That's why when you say it was messed up, too, I was like super shocked because when we were sitting at the cigar lounge watching this epic Knicks game, am I right? >> ████ off. Yeah, it was. It was >> He was kind of like It felt like he was like semi- sober. No. >> Well, the thing is I I I didn't even order drinks anywhere and every single time he would just get up and go order around and then bring more glasses. So, I thought he was just going >> Oh, I not one time was I was like, "Can I get like They just showed up. >> He just kept grabbing. >> He just kept on grabbing drinks. He just kept showing up. So, I was like, "All right." So, I thought he was good. >> Damn, that's crazy. That's some E2 ████ though, you know. >> Yeah, E2 ████ >> Yeah. Well, hey, but that game was crazy. >> Insane. >> Birds were freaking up by 29 at one point and we were checked out of the
3:23 game completely. >> Yeah, we were talking about other ████ >> Yeah, because you thought it was like a win for sure. >> The last what, like 8, nine minutes of Q4 was when it was really exciting and then but everything before that everyone was on their phones. >> Yeah, for for real. >> It's like it's over. >> No, they they blew I mean, it's the I think Charles Barkley said it's the dumbest basketball he's ever seen. >> Yeah. Yeah. He said it was really really bad. >> But doesn't he always have ████ about San Antonio and how big their women are? And like he doesn't like San Antonio very much. >> He doesn't like the women. >> Oh, >> and he doesn't like their creek. He says they have a dirty ass creek. >> Do you think there's like a specific city in the nation that has the biggest women? >> I thought it was Louisiana. >> I would have thought Alabama. >> Yeah. Where is the fattest >> the passion that you guys had of where you guys were going to designate the fattest women on one of the fattest >> people in America. >> Well, cuz I had I had a friend, his lady
4:13 was from Louisiana and he told me like everybody there is big and then I was like like how big like the ladies are like 250 and he goes no the average lady is probably 300 lb. >> Wow. >> Average. >> Average cuz the the the diet is crazy. >> Like crazy. >> A lot of jumbo eye and ████ >> Yeah. Like crazy butter and grits >> fried chicken. >> Yeah. I'm like, damn. That's >> And uh >> Gumbo. >> Gumbo. And uh >> at that time, both me and my buddy were bulking. And he said when he would visit her family, they thought he was a skinny boy. >> Oh wow. >> And both me and him were like bulking at the time. And we're like, "This is the biggest we've ever been." He goes, "Oh, they think I'm a skinny boy over there." >> Louisiana ain't even number one. >> No way. Who is it? >> There's a whole list. >> West Virginia. West Virginia. >> Wait, wait, wait. When was this? >> It's West Virginia. >> West Virginia. >> Yeah, that's number one. >> Oh yeah, boy. And miss it's Dude, the
5:03 obesity rate in West Virginia is 41%. >> Dude, I got to move over there. I'll be a hottie. >> Mississippi is 40%. >> Hey, if you guys aren't getting play out there, you're just not in the right ████ state, dude. >> Got to move to West Virginia, brother. Be a hot piece of ass. >> Look, cuz I I said, "Hey, where are people over 500 lb in America?" >> That was your search. 500's big. That's bonafide. You're ████ big, dude. >> It didn't have an answer for where's just all the fat women in the nation. >> I didn't want to say women. >> Why? They got to cut you out of your house. >> Out of everything you ████ say, you >> where's the fattest women in America? >> Isn't it also safe to say if you're the fattest man, your woman's also probably fat woman?
5:53 >> No, >> it's generally that kind of pair. Oh, I mean I think generally, yeah, because that's the kind of diet. So eventually, but you know, sometimes I see that like super skinny ass, little scrawny stick dude, >> big ass woman. I look at that, I'm like, yeah, player. >> Yeah. And you know, he likes to watch her eat, too. >> You know, he's got that kinky ████ >> He just keeps feeding her. >> Yeah. >> Like he's just like, "Eat some more." She's like, "I really don't want to." Yeah. I had a friend who who was on did a couple dates with a guy and then she realized that that's what he was into >> and then he was like making her thicker. >> No, no, no, no, no. He that he was into watching her eat like he thinks it's hot. >> It's okay. So, it's the same ranking. All right. We got West Virginia number one. >> So, they're just big no matter what. >> Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama,
6:43 Arkansas, all out of the southern states >> where the trash people are. Hell yeah. >> Damn. What's the >> If you dropped into a random Walmart and wanted to maximize the odds of seeing someone over 500 lb, statistically, your best bet would probably be West Virginia. >> Is there any way to look up like the specific diet? Like the average diet for a person who's average 500 lb? >> What's the average diet for someone who's 500 lb? >> Is that like oxymoronic to ask for like an average diet for 500 lb? >> I mean, it's got to be related, right? Cuz you know like all the Okinawan people that like live to 100 or whatever, they're like, "Oh, it's fish, miso, soup, rice." >> So there's some sort of correlation. This one's got to be like in the morning a bowl of jelly beans and then like 2 lers of soda. >> Yeah. Like Hostess donuts every morning. >> Yeah. Like some crazy ████
7:33 >> I had a neighbor, they drank nothing but Mountain Dew. That's all they drank. Like cases and cases and cases of Mountain Dew. >> Gio's family's kind of like that. >> Actually, it's a it's a lot of Hispanic. They don't even drink water. Yeah. A lot of land. >> There's only soda in the house. Yeah. >> My friend in high school got diabetes at like 17 because he drank nothing but soda. >> Yeah, man. That's crazy. >> Sodies. >> But when you go to his bedroom, you know, like those uh those canned like just the whole pack, the 24 pack or whatever. >> He had a ████ great wall of soda >> and he was proud of that. Like you you go into his room, it's just B. And he was like he was like skinny fat. He wasn't even fat. M like when you he just looked ████ like jiggly, but he he wasn't like big. Gio's family's house, their main house has every flavor you could think of. Two Squirts, two
8:24 Fantaas, two Cokes, whatever. Then you go in the garage. >> And when you start with Squirt and Fanta, that's for sure a Mexican house. >> Yeah. And it's fully stocked in the garage, too. So they're never going to be like not having calories. >> Is that like a coupon thing? >> Extreme couponing. >> Yeah. It's like you find the deal in the in the ████ coupon. So, it's like I got to buy four of these to get the deal on five. >> I think it's a competition to see who get bigger. >> I used to do that with Jameson bottles. Remember when you buy six and save from like Ralphs or whatever? So, each bottle comes out to like 13 bucks. But when you're in college and you have six bottles in your trunk, you're kind of the man. >> Pretty a little bit. >> Yeah. >> All right. So, check this out. I I asked them what like an average day of a meal would look like, right? >> Yeah. So, surprisingly, it's not like that show where they eat like 10 20,000 calories a day. Um, they say you can actually reach 500 lb by just doing
9:15 about 5 to 7,000 calories a day. >> That's a ████ ton already still though. >> But it's also they don't move. They said they don't move. >> Oh, yeah. 5,000 calories and not moving is bananas. >> And people usually slowly get there, you know? They're not like, I used to be 150 and now I'm 500. It's like just 10 20 lbs every single year. >> Then eventually they can't move. eat like >> like those those are the people who are giving those rascal scooters at Walmart a hard time. >> I feel like for sure we could like on a day where we really wanted to we had 5,000 calories in one day, right? >> All right. So, I got a I got a meal plan. Let me know if you guys could do this. Right. >> That's a lot of like ████ food, huh? >> Yeah. So, like let's say Okay, for breakfast, large flavored latte, uh two breakfast sandwiches and hash browns. I think we could put that. >> That's probably already 1,000. >> Yeah, >> that's a big ass cuz this is black coffee, right? This is zero calories. No, it's five. Five
10:05 >> or five. But like the average like latte is probably 500 to 700 calories. >> Yeah. Especially once you sugar, all that. >> It's like ice cream, dude. >> Yeah. Liquid dessert. >> Foam cream. >> But I could do two breakfast sandwiches, though. They're not crazy big. They're just like calorie dense. >> Yeah. You get like two McGriddles. That's already like 1500 calories, right? >> Yeah. That is McRiddles are bomb. It's like four mini pancakes at that point. >> They have a midm morning meal, too. So, they have a breakfast. Okay. >> So, this is like brunch, right? Midm morning is 20 oz soda, familysized bag of chips. >> Yep. Sounds right. >> So, that's like 1,200 calories. >> The whole bag. >> The whole familyized bag. That's more than 12,200 calories. >> I used to be able to eat a whole bag just by watching TV. >> Yeah, >> cuz you're just you're just like not paying attention. >> Family size. >> Familyized one. Cuz you know the bag's this big, but it only comes with like
10:56 this much chips. >> Yeah. Fair. Okay. >> And then you just start putting in your mouth and >> I think we could eat that. And then you watch like ████ Rambo. >> But we're still in morning, by the way. >> Okay, so lunch, double bacon, cheeseburger, large fries, and soda. I think we could do that. >> That's regular. >> Yeah. >> But by this time, I probably already started to feel sick. >> Yeah, cuz we had two breakfast sandwiches, hash browns, a whole familyized bag of chips. >> By this time, we're already at almost 5,000 calories. >> I'm like, we need to go for a walk or something. >> Yeah. >> No, but you're not allowed to move. That's the whole game. >> Yep. >> Can I jack off? >> Afternoon. >> Um, >> too much. You have to jack off real slow. So all afternoon we have a Frappuccino sweet coffee drink or or some type of liquid sugar >> another thousand calories >> and a candy bar >> 650 to 850 calories. >> That's crazy. >> And then for dinner we'll do maybe a half to a whole large pepperoni pizza.
11:49 >> Damn. >> I respect that. >> Sounds like a YouTube challenge. >> Two to four chicken wings and a soda and that's already $1,500 to $3,000. You do a whole pizza and then be like, "Let me get two chicken wings." >> And then for dinner, >> I've been there. >> A bunch of cookies or ice cream pint? >> That's dinner. >> I mean, evening snack. >> That's like 7,000. That's over 7. >> So if you add it, that's like Okay. 1,000 three. That's four, five, five, six. >> Fire though for like one day. >> 10 11. >> That sounds like my whole family at like a vacation day. >> Yeah. >> Right. >> Or think about the perspective of like a third world country guy. Like I haven't ate that my whole life. They're like a whole pizza, dude. It would spread it out like one slice per day. That's crazy. I bet if I asked them for a meal plan to do this, they would hit me up with one
12:39 >> meal plan. >> That's crazy, man. >> Wait, dude. Doesn't that still sound pretty expensive? >> That for sure. >> Like in terms of the quantity alone, right? Like even a double bacon cheeseburger, you know? That's one of the funniest conundrums. I think if you're fat and broke, just eat less and save more. >> Yeah, I know. That's That sounds funny. That >> cuz it's like you're putting you're putting all your money in your mouth. That's literally what you're doing. >> But it's Yeah, it's EBT, so it's not cash. They get it in food vouchers. >> ████ >> You got to do the resale game. >> They got That's true. >> I lacros and sell that on Facebook Marketplace or something. >> A lot of people did that when I was selling drugs. They would give me food stamps and I would take I would go to food for less and use it. >> That's not the same as selling lacroy on
13:29 Facebook marketplace, but that's Yeah, I hear you. >> You get weed. >> Yeah. Yeah. Same.
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