0:00 [Music] in uh in granola news he looked right at me i was like this is going to be about something indian that's funny because i looked at you and said granola and it was all still in that i knew where you were i knew where you were leading with this in india tell me tell me do i need to say in india or can i just say india and now you got to say steve where are you there was a calf that was born with a third eye on the forehead and four nostrils and people are now lining up to worship it that's a really good thing a calf wait you can't repeat what yeah like off your leg i didn't listen to a single word because i was still thinking about in india let me just give you the photo of oh ████ whoa that is so dope
0:51 i mean four nostrils i gotta say it's good this is good wow it's good for the mythology this checks out he calls it a mythology you gotta change that scenario i'm gonna get killed in the comments for that one but yeah i mean people in india are they're always like this they're like oh you're born with like a tail you must be hanuman which is oh yeah like the the the just yeah because there's like a thousand different gods yeah like that so everything has got to match something better than american ████ where they're like jesus is on this potato chip yeah jesus is in his toast that i ████ toasted jesus is white no to that i thought it was funny jesus jesus looks more like me then that's true that's korean jesus korean jesus yeah he's broke dude he's a middle eastern jew yeah
1:42 he looks like a venice surfer i know right like jesus that i grew up with i'm like dude everyone is like you know they're seeing people in israel and palestine i'm like he looks like them but the jesus that i grew up with he looks like uh like a hipster from highland park or like yeah yeah long hair ████ beard but he looks like he he looks roman jesus he's the roman jesus you remember back one time we had a quest christmas party and then our friend we knew hollywood jesus have you ever seen hollywood with jesus so he passed away but like he used to hang out with us and we had him at a party i remember you went hey man that's kind of too far years ago years ago you were like you and mike were like hey this party's dope but i think that jesus thinks a little too far i was like dude that's how he looks all the time
2:33 it was a costume party and he dressed he was the judge of the ugly sweater competition jesus was jesus was ████ but people didn't know that he's like a he's like an ellie icon and they thought we had a guy dressed up as jesus oh my god no this dude he's a comedian like his his stand-up routine is he's jesus like he has like a whole thing it was it was definitely funny it was very memorable well i'm glad this cow's getting a good life i'm sure they're feeding in worshiping otherwise like in america we would have turned this this bad boy into a cheeseburger man give me a two-eyed cow man you'd be like dude we can get three big macs from this just three so does he have like extra ribs so i can eat it all right so a unique calf has been born again with four nostrils and three eyes and locals believe it is an incarnation of god the
3:23 holstein friesian jersey cow was born on a farm in can you say that go ahead we got it where are we right here dude i don't know where this is [Laughter] i'm like dude that says that says maryland that was nice he's trying to indianize it can you read this baltimore this says ohio [Laughter] your guess is as good as mine all right
4:13 i was born and raised in new york so everything's brooklyn farmer that claims that many believe it's the hindu god shiva also known as the lord of cattle and pretty much because you know uh obviously cows with defects i mean i'm sorry i want to call it a defect but like uh cows that or animals they get born with these are about to ████ you up bro that's about to ████ you up bro you're just this is just that's it you know you just pissed off a billion people you're gonna say a girl with two vaginas is awesome yeah a cow with a third eye is defective don't bring out old videos like that dude they maybe they didn't see the video they don't know say i learned this lesson in hardware now there's an incentive yeah the callbacks never land yeah i was like the first week here i was doing massive callbacks and they were like dude you need to shut the ████ up we all stared at you pissed like what the ████ you weren't even here neither were you
5:03 neither are you it was just you by yourself i was just three who was who was here for my first week i don't know so uh when the calf was born um they found four nostrils which further uh saw the locals thronging our home after the nocturnal birth the calf is moving normally and drinks milk from the mother's udder and makes good use of the third eye on his forehead to see the utter um which is awesome yeah what else would you do with the third eye well set things on fire like lord shiva does really yeah he's the destroyer so if he looks at you it's kind of like sets thing on like yeah yeah if it opens up he ████ you up oh ████ on the ocean so it's like indian cyclops yeah that's yeah there's three of them triclop american indian shiva well cyclops is scott summers american cheese yeah he's american
5:54 locals believe the birth of the animal will bring villagers good luck and prosperity with many showering the animal with gifts such as coconuts and flowers that's a dope gift this is a good day this is not the first calf with multiple eyes to be born in may 2021 a three-eyed calf arrived in north wales where it was later slaughtered location bro location's important location is everything location is important born into the wrong country so although the indian calf is not destined for slaughter its future is still uncertain as one livestock department official believes the animal will not survive for long because of the defect because it has a genetic deficiency i don't want to call it that guys don't be don't be incessant abnormality they said these are rare cases but such mutant animals do not survive for a longer period they either live for 24 months or
6:44 they join the x-men they didn't call it an x-men they could have called it a god they should have called it an ex-animal i have faith this cow's gonna live longer than that why they always be sick they always say oh this thing's gonna die in a couple months and it lives for more than that so i think i i have faith well i'll tell you why there's maybe i mean if unless there's some sort of medical you know issue with the cow beyond the complications of having a third eye which i don't know this cat is going to live a life of luxury like all the people are going to like bring in its food like it's never like even if they're like we're just going to set this cow free like no one's going to kill it they're gonna give it a super amazing amazing beautiful life it's just served everything so it's really like kobe like when you eat it right now you're talking about marbles i bet the milk is like godly it's sacred milk holy milk what if the cow just sees fourth dimensionally so it's constantly freaking out what if
7:34 it's in the metaverse because all this ████ none of you guys see this yo let's nft this cap how do we do this let's do it let's do it right now yeah yeah i'm gonna just copy and paste this i got an nft who owns it does someone own the cow like this is mine or is it like a the farmer does the farmer yeah because i thought like the farmer will probably try to sell it make some bank off that's what i'm thinking probably huh how much do you think you could sell a special cow like that 10 american dollars in india is it is it also you know is it unsacred to sell cows i'm no ████ clue come on i got a bunch of indian articles here lined up i know dude we need connect and brooklyn can a guy sell a cow really indeed on this show just speak with an accent don't say that you don't know everything will believe
8:25 i make up a lot of ████ about japan all the time do your japanese followers get pissed no i just like volunteer the information they think you're an authority yeah i'm japanese i don't think they have the ability to ask you in real time actually as a japanese american i have to we're getting some calls let's pick one up generation indian american my experience with three-eyed animals is very very minimal [Laughter] on a sunny day do they have a three eye sunglass oh yeah or a little umbrella right there yeah yeah yeah has anyone been to india have you guys been i wanna ████ go it's a wild it's a wild place i mean that in a good way um india's i was i was really having uh incredible time when i'm there i just remember like being taxied around and there's just people sitting everywhere you guys talked there right i did yeah you're gonna be sitting like sit sitting
9:16 on the road there's so many people out that like people are just sitting on curbs everywhere yeah it's just there's people everywhere there's no there's no like especially in your metropolitan area it's just it's um and then every hotel has is gated and then every single time you come in they're always checking for bombs under the cars oh the mirrors you got to put all your stuff through metal detection to get through the glass doors of the hotel it feels crazy wow but also feels safe in a weird way but also feels dangerous it's kind of like in the philippines they have the same saying where like if uh any alley that's dark if you just squint for a couple seconds you'll just see people chilling like wow just sitting there you go oh that looks empty wait no it's not you'll just see someone going [Music]
10:22 you
// end of tape