0:00 [Music] so you guys know that uh machine gun kelly and megan fox are now engaged yes yes you also know your gun for that one to celebrate that they have started a blood drinking ritual are they drinking their own blood or i heard about it it's like a little bit of a couple drops or something a couple drops of blood but we're like vampires like saying guys do not do this ████ that's exactly what's going on oh really vampire organizations not not community vampire organizations they gotta drink other people's what do they do like multiple animations no there's a there's a new orleans vampire association newport new orleans yes and the co-founder's name please don't laugh it's like remy or something it's it's balfazar ashtanison i was wrong
0:51 and are they trying to pretend that they're transylvanian or something yeah that's a good vampire name it can't be like named todd no you can't be toxic you can't be taught you can't be peanut but you can't be peter the vampire you can't be yeah so um they say precautions have to be take before you drink your lover's blood um though being in a monogamous relationship obviously helps alleviate risk but there is potential for disease and blood-borne illness really mm-hmm it took him a vampire to something they're acting like they ████ drank a whole bottle of blood like this and just like ████ pounding it how much blood are they drinking just a couple droplets but technically yeah a couple drops could have some stuff in it what's the point of them drinking each other's blood it's like i love you doesn't that happen all the time in the mma can't they just 69. no it's the semen just go down on your your girl when she's on a period that's that's done that's it yeah it's normal i totally forgot about that but we need to like
1:42 service her as well you know then you cut your penis and you put in her mouth oh cut your penis oh jesus yeah that way you she bleeds in you you bleed in her you know i'd rather just take the bloodborne illness let me make a note real quick to add that that's we're going to cut that for reals yeah yeah that's a good clip bart's saying cut your dick off and put it in your mouth no you just do a little quick slice of roux you're trying to be a wine funnel it's like a little you could get your circumcision done the same day oh yeah does that make your stomach turn yeah i think that's how guys should get circumcised because you let her you cut it off and put it in someone's mouth as a baby i'm physically uncomfortable as an adult this is why you guys are best friends this is why you keep churning over like your friends and on this show because that's exactly what it is you know why because you alienate people
2:32 hey low blow man low blow it's how you get the blood out like low cut you know yeah burning bridges cutting down i wouldn't voice these things but like let's say if my my significant other was like oh you want to drink a little bit of blood come memory oh my god let's do it that's that's your talk let's go to the ████ restaurant and get some pigs blood baby yeah whose idea do you think this was was it mgk or had to be megan fox because you you'd do anything for that wouldn't you first of all if you're with megan fox don't you wake up every day and just go all right whatever the ████ you want you wanna ████ my ████ head [Laughter] first thing in the morning every morning you just wake up with a ████ log of dookie well you wake up to the warmth and you're like oh god damn because my head's getting ████ on him i love her
3:22 when it's megan fox's ████ you just keep your eyes closed i'm almost there and like yeah all right does that does that uh translate to you guys where the um how hot a woman is you're willing to do grosser ████ yep of course grosser is not the word it's just more like anything yep i think there's a limit though that's the part of the equation what's the limit for you huh not cheating on the head i'm okay with that i'm that was s█████ you're okay with having ████ on your head come on dude oh come on bro look at me bro that's why he's wearing hat today first of all if you ever have a kid like this man you're going to get ████ on your head that's true it's going to happen you get ████ everywhere so what's the big deal that's awesome sexual passion ████ seems a little different than your child's diaper this is going to be a different dog s███'s much bigger don't judge dude don't judge me maybe i'm being judgmental you're being judgmental but can you imagine megan fox making eyes at you while she's ████ drinking milk shaking you know you gotta
4:12 take a ████ pound of ████ on your head well she's downing in horchata she's like this one's for later babe and it's like horchata at a time a chomperado same time that's a good combo and she gives you that knowing look and you're like this one's going to be diarrhea i'll do it i'll just split my hair down the middle just so i could take it real good and give her a little gutter and then and then she's like oh i wonder where the toilet is you're like it's right here i'll get the toilet right here sweetheart i'll get the toilet seat and i just put it on right here i'm gonna sit on down later you put the wax paper on it was your whole head gonna go in her ass while he's ████ put this is where her butt cheeks go she's like oh huh how do i flush you like pull my ear you gotta make the noise you know what i mean anyway what's this one about nigel what do you think what's your take on this guy i won't let anybody ████ on
5:02 my head you megan don't watch no okay you're in l.a a hot woman everywhere you know but not megan fox hot woman there's a lot of megan foxes here though do you think she's overrated because she's not just a hot woman she's a hot woman that comes with their own bank account that's different she wasn't transformers dude make your own money so you don't have to let people ████ on your head i never never watched like two girls one cup and thought that looks like fun right that's not fun yeah that's why everyone's passing around because everyone's like oh this is sexy [Laughter] the original allure oh that's kind of kinky like and then and then every time guys get caught like oh isn't this ████ crazy i wasn't jerking off to this ████ it was ████ crazy that's why it got viral yeah jerk it smacked my balls i've never seen it and then you google it all the links are purple you know
5:53 yeah everything's already been clicked on yeah that's the first vr porn i'm loading be the cup like browsers back then didn't have incognito mode right so everything people just saw everything you've seen before the purple link including the viruses and the new programs that are stuck in the park i don't know how that ended up there you know why is it like 14 toolbars in internet explorer you know you have to love being a guy though and thinking that because you have a vpn and incognito mode nobody ever will know nobody knows it works it's worked for decades it works for your mental health maybe but yeah i think that's the purpose of mental health is really it's a mental health support it's good that's good yeah that's good i'm sorry special porn ipad like an ipad just for porn eye porn yeah i think that's mostly what ipads are for porn i don't i should try don't dudes take
6:43 this that to the toilet if they're like married with kids and ████ yeah what do you use ipad for mostly i don't have an ipad do you beat off in the bathroom with an ipad no i don't even have an ipad how do you not have an ipad you have everything you look like you're asking has an ipad are you giving us christmas hands i don't have one but i would love ultra i'd rather print out a magazine print out a magazine so with the accurate paper style and everything and the binding yep i go to i pull up the porno on pornhub and then i print out that page just like that like a flip book and then you go on etsy hit up a small business that makes magazines i basically seen a lot of old school playboys at thrift shops now i haven't seen that together i love old school playboys though yeah old school 90s old school's like yeah family and 80s to early 2000s
7:33 that's the golden era plus they got that like kind of like hazy kind of film on all of it everything's a little bit more you know from being matched on yeah the chicks are bushy in there they're very busy times yeah yeah sometimes it takes me out of it you have to just watch like porn made for women on pornhub it's this what does that look like it's shot well good plot line it's good it's just two dudes ████ each other interior design is a bit better is this real no yeah yeah guys just google films bless our films yeah ooh he knows the good stuff yeah that's like bokeh you're the tuk tuk patrol that's stevie weeby's favorite favorite porn site what's the other one called yes nacho's adventure yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what i was like that was one of those was it nachos in my pants it was like panchos or something this is very interesting would you guys like to watch them at this point yeah let's watch it this is
8:24 immediately becoming a patreon video yeah it's a patreon video the lighting is not this is done for women by women yes well i don't know if it's women this is porn by women oh so we're like celebrating like women's like no no it's like women's taste this is what women want to see so like the gaffer is a woman the like the electric form well the storylines are for women look at the lighting look at look at the lighting oh wow lighting is good it's very realistic it probably takes away the girl when they're like oh my god the interior design is horrible i can't ████ to this ████ yeah yeah they forgot to close the door a guy could just have a ████ mattress or like a ████ or a taxi or a taxi just nothing that's too dramatic this is that this is taking things slowly i get it usually i'm ████ off by now yeah what is this ████ let's do this skip and skip forwards yeah no no leave it before
9:14 we watch this we're like this is weird but when we're watching people pound each other we're like yeah cool yeah oh look at the lighting but it's so dramatic though that's like that's a very romantic ████ i can see why this is appreciated this is good stuff dude this is like the brown bunny you don't even have to censor it because you covered the whole thing yeah that's pretty crazy yeah it's not bad right yeah i could see that yeah i guess see so this is done by a woman i don't know is that missionary you don't see missionary they want the guys but i don't want to see the guys that's weird if this was a uh what about the what about the climax let's see let's see he better come here not all over her ████ hair you know what i want to see at the end i just wanted to go morongo yeah that looks like the morocco commercial
10:05 i'm like what is this he's going to come on her ████ little spoiler there what is this wow wow he has a flexible dick i don't think i could do that yeah that would hurt me he bent it all the way down like that like that you don't like that oh here's the climax oh there it is this is why they didn't even show the cub shot what you just are he just comes on his knuckles oh he just you just screamed on his nose that's what that's what women are more into that's what they want that's what they need yeah kind of dark lighting right now i actually start lighting some booty dramatic lighting i don't like it yeah no i'm not into that i want to see close-up of the pal give me browsers or bang bros any day any day of the week twice on sunday and 10 times at church jesus should we pull up a tuk-tuk patrol just for reference just for comparison
11:09 know
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