0:00 Oh, like dad's horizontal. >> Yeah, >> she's like sitting on it. >> Oh. >> Oh, you had to see that. Oh, Anthony. >> No, he got to see that. >> Massage. >> You got to see that. >> Sick as ████ >> I'm tight, dude. I'm tight, >> dude. That's so traumatizing. [Music] >> Welcome back to Careful Boys. Today we're talking about times we noticed our moms were horny. Hey, dude. The timer was off. >> Oh, right. >> Dude, >> we brushed on this yesterday a little bit, but I think it's I think we should >> How do we brush on it? Did we? >> And how do we dive deep into this? >> I think you remember. >> I don't know, dude. >> Noticed your mom was worried. >> Are you ready? >> Yeah. >> Let's go. >> You could do mother-in-law, too, right? Some of you guys.
0:50 >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Anthony, would you like to start? >> Hey, man. It's time to be vulnerable, man. Come on. >> Vulnerable. We're being vulnerable. >> Hey, tell stories. open up. >> Um, so for me it was my birthday. Um, >> is this going to be a real one? >> Dead serious. >> Straight up story. Real story. >> Fine. >> It was my birthday. It was 1996. I've talked about this before. It was SummerSlam on WWF at the time. >> And I was so excited and I was like, "How do I get this?" I was like, "How do I watch this?" Cuz I I was like looking on the TV guide thing and I was like, "Oh, but it doesn't let me get it." So then I was like, I have to go ask my mom and dad. >> You asked like for pay-per-view or you got to buy it or something. >> Exactly. So I dropped the gray remote that my dad used to say, "Sherry, where the ████ is the gray remote?" Right. He used to say that all the time when he come got home from work. And I remember
1:40 putting the gray remote down, going upstairs, opening my parents bedroom door, and as I'm saying like, "Hey, so how do I get WWF?" And I open the door and my mom is like completely naked and my dad is on the bed and my mom just like takes a side step jump and like covers her tits and ████ and uh and I'm fairly certain at the time that she was pretty horny. So at the time >> was your dad naked too? >> Caught him bucking. >> So I So the way that the hallway was I couldn't really see the bed. I could see his feet. So I I didn't see my dad, but he has a big old dick. I'll tell you. >> But did you know that that's what was going on? >> I knew that. Yeah. That that this was a sexual encounter that I probably that I
2:30 definitely interrupted. >> What What do you think made them feel safe that they could ████ at home when the kids are up still? >> Cuz cuz I >> Cuz Bart's looking for reasons >> for reasons. >> I think there was enough noise downstairs that they're like, "Oh, the kids are kids are ████ off." >> Oh, don't like don't be with each other. But then isn't there always noise? >> Yeah. >> Damn, that's risky then. >> Well, it's when it's quiet. Yeah, when it's quiet, you're like, "Oh ████ what the hell is happening?" >> I think they just forgot to lock the door cuz they they locked the door for sure. >> Well, in the throws of passion, it is hard to remember. >> So, yeah. But I'm pretty sure my mom was pretty horny. So, I believe you. >> She was the initiator. >> Is your mom very light-skinned, too? >> Yeah, dude. Is she light-skinned? >> Pale. >> She's all whitey for sure. Yeah, big time whitey. She's from Florida, so >> So, she got red, huh? She got some red. >> Did they say anything like, "Get out."
3:20 >> But they tried to play it off. >> The the the note was taken instantly as my mom jumped and went, "Ah, what the f███?" Like that. >> And then did uh Did your dad go, "You ████ ████ blocking son of a b████." >> He didn't he didn't actually say a word. I wish he did. That'd be way funnier. >> Do you ever think when they're doing it, she's like, "I found the gray remote." >> Oh, look. The gray remote's right ████ here, daddy. Oh man, dude. ████ >> I think my dad's like, "Hey, Sherry, where the ████ the gray remote?" And then she's grabbing his con >> or like anytime like, "Sherry, where's the gray remote?" And then there's moms where they're like, >> I wish it was like that, dude. I really do. >> That's a secret code. >> It would be funny if that's the code. Yeah. >> Oh. To go upstairs. >> To go upstairs. >> Sherry, help me find the ████ gray remote. >> Why do they have to announce it to the whole house?
4:10 >> Cuz so they could traumatize you guys and be like, "They're fighting. Let's not bother them." And then you're like, "You like that? Let's chill the ████ out. >> Let's stay out of this. >> Where the ████ is it?" >> Oh, he's really beating her right now. >> Nonstop. >> That'd be funny. Like later on, years down the line, there never was a gray remote. Stephen, >> I used to hold that thing there. I know it's a great one. It's big. >> Steve's always there. He's like, "It's right here." >> Yeah, it was just in your head. >> That's so dumb. >> What if you're like, "I got to tell them so they don't fight. Mom and dad, I found the gray remote." She's like, [Laughter] >> what? He pressed pause on it >> and she and she's like, "Huh?" with a gray remote somehow, too. There's also a gray remote in her mouth. >> There's multiple gray remotes. >> Like, my parents are so kinky. I didn't even know. >> Sick, dude. >> I mean, you didn't have that many colors back then for remotes. It was either black or gray. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ours was gray. >> Ours was gray, too, actually. >> RCA TV. Pretty cool.
5:01 >> I think I only walked in on my parents one time. >> Were they horny, though? >> And how old were your mom horny? That's the topic. Don't Don't get off topic. >> I think I think it was her who was horny. >> How do you know? cuz she was the one who was on top. >> Oh yeah, >> you saw that? I saw that and I ran out. >> How old were you? Vertical on top or horizontal on top? >> Oh, like dad's horizontal. >> Yeah, >> she's like sitting on it. >> Oh. >> Oh, you had to see that. Oh, Anthony. >> You weren't like >> No, he got to see that. >> Massage. [Music] >> You got to see that. >> Sick as ████ >> I'm tight, dude. I'm tight, >> dude. That's so traumatizing. >> Hella tight. That's so ████ traumatizing. >> Proceed. >> How do you know it's not a massage? >> I was like young young though. So I feel like >> Oh, you didn't know what you're looking at? >> I don't I I don't hold trauma to it. I'm just more like, "Oh ████ that
5:51 happened." >> How old were you? >> I for I must I'm definitely under 10. >> So you saw it without them knowing you were looking. >> Oh, I'm pretty sure the like >> Oh, >> how did how did you know to How did you know to if >> was her titties out and everything? It didn't register as sexual. >> No, no, no. I I don't I can't visually see even like skin. There might even been like a blanket >> in general. Does your mom have big titties? Just for the fans, >> they started sagging when she got old. >> Come on. You got to answer that. >> Well, so they could visualize what's going on. >> Well, I thought this is a yes and vulnerable talk show. >> Okay. Thanks, UCB. Let's go. >> Yeah. Uh, and then I'll also say that um I remember finding my dad's condoms in his drawer next to the bed. And
6:41 >> what size? >> Not used, right? >> No, no, no. Just like they were all connected. >> Oh, yeah. >> Uh, >> baby boy size. >> Baby boy. Absolutely. Baby boy size. >> Duplo. >> I think they were training training. >> Oh, nice. >> Training. >> Pull-ups. Hershey's hugs. >> Yeah, they have like little unicorns on them printed all over. >> And I remember being like, "Yo, I should probably have one of these in order to have in my wallet." You remember when like you wasn't getting any ████ but you're like, "I should always have one in my good Omen, too." Yeah. Like it's good juju. And then, you know, to your friends at school, you might be like, "Yo, Jay, just in case you ever need >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. >> What are you like 12?" >> And they'd be like, "You have training kind of." No. Uh, but that I I just I just randomly remember that now. Just
7:32 like pulling a condom thinking like, "Oh, he'll never know." But I'm like, >> "A horny dad, dude. That's dope." >> But but the prompt is about your mom being horny. >> Oh, he's horny all the time. Yeah, absolutely. You're just drooling over him. >> ████ no. I don't I I don't think I ever got any I don't even remember like romantic energy between them. >> Really? >> Really? like nice, very like like fun and stuff, but I never saw like a a romantic like you know if he like poked her or like grabbed her and she's like ah or like if he like kissed her like >> oh like >> without without like an occasion. Do they kiss on the cheek, on the lips, or very like >> you would only ever see that at like like public events like it's oh it's your anniversary. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Chinese ████ seafood restaurant thing. And they're like >> you like have to kind of kiss you and then and then me and my sister like e
8:23 right classic ████ >> Did they kiss like >> Yeah. >> Okay. That's my parents do it. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> It wasn't like a >> not like get the ████ out of here. I'm daddy busy. It's like my dad's always trying to just like quickly get the moment to pass by. Nobody hold on to the >> Damn, >> dude. I remember there was a Valentine's Day where my dad came home with a lobster cuz I think he's trying to get laid for sure. No, >> like a live lobster. >> Uhhuh. >> Cuz that's how you get laid. >> Yeah. But my dad uh he's not a cook. So like when my mom broke her leg, my dad had to learn how to cook cuz my mom was inoperable for like 5 months or something. So he came up with a s███████ of TV dinners. But this particular time was when my mom was more mobile, but he was like, "I'm going to surprise her with a lobster. It's going to be a big night." So, he heats up the oven. He has no idea how to cook anything. He puts
9:14 the lobster just on a metal tray in the oven and like turns the light on so he can see what's going on. And I remember seeing this ████ lobster like like just like ████ walking around and like eventually he's like hanging from like the you know they have multiple grates. He's like hanging from it. Just like hanging from it. Just trying to do anything he can to get the hell out of there. And he was just so ████ And like that was pretty crazy. Like >> that is crazy. >> Yeah. The lobster is just like so very >> Hey, you're off topic. Is she horny? >> So I think that the act that my dad did to make the lobster while horrifying, she never had to see that. The kids did. I think that got her horny when she was eating the lobster. I think that got her horny. All the kids huddled around the oven like, "Wow, Ashawitz." >> Yeah, we Dude, it was wild. >> This said Ashawitz.
10:05 >> Ashawitz. >> Dude, it was cra I'll never for I could had that like seared in my brain. the lobster just being like >> only one time I could probably even fathom that happening with my mom is probably when we were me and my sister and my mom went to a doctor's appointment for like it was like for me and my sister and then um I guess this this doctor's office we went to had people and staff that my mom would see at her hospital when where she worked and then uh I guess she uh saw that one of the doctors that was going to be seeing us is a a new young doctor that was also at that Downey hospital and she was all excited and like telling me and my sister like how cool it is that he's going to come in. >> This is we we were really young. >> And then um >> and then the dude comes in and he looks
10:55 like a just like a like a nerdy he just looks like a dork. But like I guess that's really cool. And um he's like talking to my mom and I remember my mom saying something like she had that like that stance where she's like kind of like nervous standing and she's like oh you know I you don't know me but I've seen you around and me and my sister were like >> ew. He gave her the butterflies. >> Yeah. We're like sick. What the ████ And the guy was like yeah well you know I'm over in your department often. She's like, "Oh, yes. We all know, we see. We know." I was like, "This is ████ gross, dude." That's probably the closest I ever saw to my mom being >> me, but I know you. >> And she's like, "Oh, right. You wake here. I have to go to the restroom." E. >> I hope she's wearing rain boots, dude.
11:46 >> But he looked like a super dork. Like he was just like young. He was like 30 or something. >> Dude, you That's what's disappointing is finding out the kind of guys your mom's into. >> Yeah. I mean, the dude was a doctor. That's pretty cool. But I guess he's like the youngest one out of like he was like the Doogie basically. >> He already sounds hot. >> I remember watching I was at my grandma's house one time and my mom was always with my grandma and my mom's watching the chair or whatever the ████ it was a voice or whatever >> and >> the chair. >> Yeah. >> They had the red chair and they're watching spin around. >> Yeah. >> And my mom sees that Adam Divine guy. >> Adam Lavine. >> Lavine guy. >> Adam Divine. >> He was at uh he was at our heart radio with Moon. Yeah. I really don't like that dude's songs. >> What? >> I just cuz I think for a whole summer they played him non-stop and I just ████ want to throw up, right? >> Yeah. >> No, no offense to him. His voice is obviously good and all that stuff. I
12:36 just can't handle that song anymore and you know. >> All right. >> Beauty queen of only 18. That song. >> Yeah. >> So, so my mom is like, >> "Oh my god, that Adam Divine. She just said that out loud." >> Oh my god. Oh, that Adam Lavine. >> Adam's divine. >> Oh my god. Oh my god, that Adam Lavine. He's so cute. And I was like, we're I was on a roller chair and just went like rolled back cuz it's like, oh, you you realize your your parents your mom still has that like >> she's got it going on. She's not wrong. There's like she's joining an opinion of millions, >> right? But to me, that's disappointing cuz I wish you'd liked like >> Kurt Russell or some ████ >> Yeah. Like somebody like tonight. >> You should have told that. >> Not a nerd. >> Like somebody like Kurt Russell. >> Yeah, right. >> Yeah. Not. >> I like that Adam Lavine is the nerd to you, >> dude. I just don't cuz like by the way,
13:28 if it was the end of the world or whatever, >> what's that guy going to do, bro? Die instantly. >> We can't be so versless alone. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Like, where's the There's no there's no testosterone there. >> Yeah. Like, >> I didn't know my mom was into ████ >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Be sick if she said that about Hulk Hogan, >> dude. Rest in peace.
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