0:00 foreign so imagine this all right okay let's say we all run a daycare center okay in a place called Clarkson sucks watch out for this guy's closed all right stores closed we come back one day suddenly they're stolen diapers they're stolen baby formula why would you steal it and there's a note left behind right uh including a hundred and twenty dollars and on this handwritten note uh they're asking if the our daycare has adult sized diapers and if we would quote play along oh let's have some sexy time ████ freak all right you mean is that so common
0:50 some sexy time ████ you know those dudes that like to act like babies oh oh oh he wants to come in as a baby I think he's watching porn since he's five oh Malone we come back a day or two later but remember that note's got 120 bucks next to it yeah but he's only stolen a couple diapers and a little bit of formula right wait so he broke in broke in took some diapers some baby formula left a note says play along left 120 bucks kind of consider it come back a couple days later same thing now there's 200 there a little bit more diapers a little bit more baby okay now we're talking now I could get maybe a place to survive soon with the 120 but I'm calling the ████ cops man there's 200 a little bit you got to do a sting operation hey but it's a service right he's like can you take can you babysit
1:40 here's 200 bucks next time you said me next time it comes in though no includes sizes for pants shoes bras and dresses and uh the no Inc indicates that this person would like to play as a baby girl and wants to be called Baby Danielle oh no girl I always thought this was common with like dudes I think it is a dude it isn't very nice of you oh ████ a little girl oh ████ I think I'm stupid just like duh she's like yeah that's why I'm married dude that wants to be a little toddler girl his name is Daniel stealer or stealer and he's 65 years old oh that wants to be Benjamin Button and
2:34 then he wants to be benjalina button dude I'm always impressed when people with that bizarre of a mental defect reach that age is that high or do you think they develop it later they must have closeted it for quite a while you think they always wanted to be a baby and they're like ████ it I'm about to die I'm just gonna be a baby I think they really shut that stuff out yeah it's I mean and everybody now he's on social security so he's got a little bit of money yeah so you do some ████ and he's a little almost there like adult diapers nursing home like yeah but somebody's got to take care of him in a daycare center call him baby Danielle he wants to go wow how common is this do you guys think it is though right one in three I bet one in three two of us a lot of freaks in here all right who's gonna do it not everybody do you think that who wants to be a baby do you think that makes them horny no I'm not that kind of horny sure
3:25 Joe I'm not that kind of horny I bet it all no oh [Laughter] and I win oh when you when you have a kink like let's say like you like feed or something does that mean you look at feet and you get a big fat boner yeah sometimes sometimes you're definitely sexually aroused by it instantly come and sometimes it just compels you to like the thirst for it in certain ways like you need to go affixiate that that Thirst by seeing and touching it being around or some ████ like that laughs that's better that's better
4:16 hey you know I'm the guy in the military that empathizes off instead of emotional things to make them feel better yeah Joplin likes feet the chaplain's kinky bro yeah because I always thought like when you get dressed up because I like to be I try to like understand people I'm like if you get dressed up in a diaper and you're saying Google gaga like are you saying Google gag out the fat ass boner or is it like you do the whole role play thing and then later on you get horny maybe because you know those videos where like guys like to get their junk stepped on or suck oh you don't have boners oh yeah yeah but they love it but the guy what about the karate guys karate guys yeah we're getting there punching themselves in the ████ or having like their buddy kick him in the car first of all it's Kung Fu I don't
5:06 know they're getting big fat boners from it they're not turned on you think that there's an element of that mentally and uh in addiction-wise that's not sexual though probably maybe oh my God like what like what is it not sex related it's not sex related like like it's filling a void of some some other reason it's not sexual even though it's addictive oh like like a OCD tendency right no some people do like oh ████ I gotta turn darn on by four times like you got a complex it feels so good oh my God like that right or I think for them it's turning the doorknob four times not because it's like it feels good it's like a sigh of relief as far as like okay I did that now I can move on so I think it's a Japanese guy that wanted to be a dog that seems less sexual but it maybe that's just like a purely mental yeah
5:56 it's all sexual dude maybe they're all just trying to charge up the spank bags that's just Japanese that's true that's a good explanation because there's like a whole 20 Squad of Japanese that all want to be cholos and ████ but they're not like a cholo orgy you think that's sexual they're just no no but they're that's just like Japanese will go in like when they do stuff they find the culture a hobby or something and then they bam he loves doc so much that he has to be one what happened to just like people want to ████ firemen and policemen normal ████ or the cops and robbers wanted enough bullies to keep that going I want to ████ the teacher yeah that's how I know I'm normal because pornos I like the real estate agents real estate ladies is one of the best things you've ever said by the way because you put me on some good because I forgot about how hot chicks are in Panthers but I never see ████ in pantsuits almost ever because
6:46 shoulder pads Nikki used to wear them like auditioning because sometimes you'd play a role it's like that so I remember now I'm like oh I hearken back to the days where she'd walk out of the house in a pantsuit and I'm like that was hot as ████ damn you said Harkin you think yeah it's hotter than chicks are in like a business suit it is kind of you think this is role-playing like that but it's different like it's like how like oh yeah she's wearing hot clothes and then that's like us being mild and these guys are hardcore so they're like yeah man they're ████ an elephant and then they're horny wait wait that jumps really fast or like like an animal like a dog or like or like a baby maybe it's like level one it's like you're attracted to a girl in like you know Panthers because like she's kind of a boss it's like Halloween costumes you're a boss and then but you want to be like in bondage because you want to feel like you know you're submissive level three
7:37 you're like I just want to be a full-on baby yeah you know what I'm saying but see that's still that's still simulating it to a degree like having sex with an elephant is very different than hey dress up like an elephant I don't think it is or like maybe like he's like oh I want to be a school girl but then like he got younger and he's a baby now you know this like oh that's it's weird he keeps going back in time oh anime I made a poopy I don't get what sexual hold on yeah and I do think we should just arrest these people I think it's just for the desire to pick them up even if they're paying you pretty good yeah just pick them up yeah because you don't know keep an eye on this yes yeah you don't think we have rights too I I usually believe that but not out of
8:27 daycare bro where there's other children and ████ that's the weirdest that's ████ weird that's the weirdest part if you got a guy that's like cover me in ████ exactly you're like okay I get that okay the Hershey's factory like that you're like you're gonna contaminate the chocolate get out of here yeah dude but and the other guy that's like like the whip means oh yeah I like that like I kind of get that too a little bit but then the goo goo gaga uh I ████ myself wiped me up and Daddy I mean like why isn't it good enough ████ that's crazy honestly just firing squad and then you're 65. you know what I mean like imagine you're 65 and you're making a I I mean what if you're like I want Mommy milk mommy milk
9:19 [Laughter] [Music] what about them furries though they do that they just wear their outfits that seems so much milder compared to this yeah I think so too plus it seems like that's also like a society dude I think a furry right sense of belonging but it's not sex furry goes like this to this the furry goes yeah because they're not breaking into animal shelters to like be weird worries or judging this ████ yeah they're just their tail on the string is going like back and forth furries are like these guys are giving us a bad name you know okay this is the reason why I think this is weird is like it's like going to Massage Envy and asking them to jack you off that's not their job
10:11 is it yeah like going to a kindergarten and asking them to teach you like a child that's weird whose job is it red dragon massage yeah red dragon massage parlor in Chinatown Emerald Lotus reflexology foot spa that's what it's called that's what's up so who goes to the side hey can I get the extra extra oh you know what's weird have you ever have you guys heard of soothe oh the app the app we hired someone and had to go did they jack you off no um yeah tell us the truth so it's like no he ████ me so Jill's one of those people that like um never like she never really takes care of herself like she
11:02 always puts other people first so she'll like literally be like oh like that right I'm gonna go get a goddamn massage I'm good and she's like that for like I don't know like three months I'm like ████ and I was like I bet I could ████ find a massage so I downloaded sooth and I hired some and then you could pick like people step on you guy girl Sports whatever and then I was like well I was like just trying to figure out yeah I picked one that was more like stress relieving and then uh he came in and then I was like watching TV and and he was working on her and then Jill was saying that like this guy had like this weird hard dick Vibe like it was like it was supposed to be the stress relieving so it should feel like Massage Envy where it's like you know like it feels like
11:53 more therapeutic but then it was more of like she go they would be like this and then like oh he's pouring this boner on her back yeah I feel that she's like I don't want to do it ever again is it like that Instagram massage Guy where he's got that girl and he looks like he's just ████ doggy styling her oh he's like dry humping her I love that guy the cracker the guy who does the crack yeah yeah but for some reason she's gotta be in like a thong bikini too there's candles everywhere and they're just greased the ████ up I don't know what the ████ that was man that's a good career that's watching TV that guy's ████ massaging March watching TV he goes and you enjoying that sports massage no Bart's over here he's like oh no so I didn't pay rent
12:43 like this I could tell that all your stress is right come on dude the heck [Music]
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