0:00 thank you [Music] all right I'm gonna tell you about this Chinese married couple in Irvine okay most Chinese married couples in Irvine kind of are living a pretty decent life there's uh the woman is a dermatologist the husband is a radiologist uh doctor of radiology it's boring us so they're pretty yeah pretty kind of sounds like your stereotypical Irvine couple oh it's like it's the life Chinese and working in the medical field yeah it's the life our parents dreamed we would have that's those are the partners I want to watch actually oh yeah when you see like boring people are like what's your ████ style it's probably wild you think so yeah because their lives are boring like they're the pillowcase ████ swinging type but what is that yeah they're making love both of them
0:52 both of them the dude starts noticing he's having like internal like stomach problems oh no and he starts to suspect that his wife is poisoning him oh wow how do you just suspect yeah wait a second yeah it's not that you know three day old Chinese food that you ate it's your wife is poisoning you that's your go-to she might like look at him a certain way you know just to check if he's how I was feeling well also they're both doctors so you know you'd have to take that into account that if you're feeling a certain way you could probably just check on that yeah you got your own deductive reasoning maybe he already deducted he was like I didn't eat anything weird and then blah blah blah he checked those things off and then he's like it's got to be the why yeah so so she also does resent me that's right she does hate my guts he
1:43 puts up a hidden camera in his kitchen to figure out if she's doing something to his food he finds that she's been pouring Drano into his teeth oh drain over draina would have a distance that's how bad tea tastes themselves some loose leaf tea some some wing hot funky maybe she was just trying to clear his because you know Drano really works to clear the pipes you want to play you want to play that side yeah because then if she if he drinks Drano then it clears up all the hair and all the things just mind his own business dude she does have so she was arrested but here's the interesting part her defense lawyer is like proposing all of these you know like reasons why she didn't right yeah so since you're playing that side oh they are they're they're admitting find some sense in this defense okay this is
2:34 the number one defense her lawyer saying no she wasn't trying to kill you there was an ant problem on the counter and she put Drano in the T to attract the ants into the cup and serve it to him she didn't mean for him to drink it at all wait what that's apparently what I believe her that's what the defense lawyer is saying that it wasn't meant for him to drink she would do that to get the ants to come to the cup and die in the secret camera is the cup like 10 feet above the ground that's not supposed to and the guy climbs up oh that one's for me put a little like sticky note like don't drink no it's and she this is a repeated thing so he kept ringing it but she's like no
3:24 that wasn't for you to drink it was for the ants to like because they put on the counter Island the judge needs to be like nope lawyer you're going to jail too for stupidity I'm also just like I feel like in the time that my man's thought this had a stomachache you know had this hypothesis went online bought a secret camera found time to upload the secret camera check the footage because he's a doctor go go get a test I find out that there's some ████ Drano inside of you yeah get some blood work done pee in a ████ cup you probably drank it for four more days and you had to ████ be drinking this ████ yeah yeah yeah it's just a catcher like how to catch Drano bro have you opened up a bottle of Drano there's a very distinction yeah isn't it blue too yeah it is very jelly yeah yeah
4:15 it's like biscuit yeah speaking of like you know boring couples being freaks this might just be their like long Kink play yeah he's at like the you know the phone like whatever like visit between the glass and he's like she's like yeah you like that I ████ love that you put Drano in my teeth again she's like you like what I ████ sued you and you're going to jail oh yeah when I get out of here oh boy okay so you believe you believe her story hell no she's I kind of believe it damn well the thing is she made the tea she left it there right yeah but she never told him to drink it he just comes up and goes oh that's true wait are ants attracted to Drano it's like a thing you know I don't even know I don't know what ancient Chinese secret she uses because I've never heard of it usually when you have a home remedy that gets rid of ants it doesn't involve another chemical it's like usually like
5:06 vinegar right or something yeah and that smells already weird so you're not gonna drink it or maybe buy an ant trap because you guys can afford it and get Drano you can get raid you can afford ████ pest control but she's obviously trying to kill this guy slowly and by the way I feel like this guy's dumb they're rich enough to have lawyer so the person who who was using this defense is not a public defender that's a real one that's a legit lawyer come up with yeah I would have said dude Drano unclogs clogs and drains it'll unclog your ████ up the patience he can't hear ████ in days Chinese chicks man the guy the guy apparently sprayed on your teeth he said he didn't notice it because he likes his tea hot and the tea was very hot what dude notice that it was that's not a thing maybe she's putting like little
5:57 bits where it's like undetectable could he not smell no he just he's busy I guess he just like Downs it and gets out the door you know what I'm scared of I'm scared of Articles like this because I feel like right in the mail like all right so we'll all drink a little bit of his teeth yeah and if there's Drano in here I'm gonna make you guys all do it I am kind of curious though like you could snuff it out also she's the worst murderer ever enough time to survive to set up a ████ coup against you like yeah exactly and also like that's all you that's probably all they had in the house so she goes we'll just use it yeah this might kill somebody have you seen Drano like I expect more from doctors yeah yeah Asians out like do something in your sleep
6:47 which is pills or something life to just get lazy at the end yeah and two like Poison's a tough one because it's like they know that if he dies it's gonna come out in the toxicology there's better poisons than that and they could link that to you easily well maybe that's why they were doing little bits of Drano or it didn't actually kill them yeah she wasn't putting enough initially to kill him that's why he was just getting you know bad guts yeah he got he just gets ripped [Laughter] hey guys this dude Drano diet that's the prosecution he just lifts his shirt up here he's like you're on her guilty damn uh but I'll play Devil's Advocate though like what the ████ did he do to make her so mad she had to poison him he's a ████ up guy well Bart says Chinese
7:37 girls are crazy so that might be the first thing so she's just crazy well okay if this guy can't smell that there's Drano in his ████ drink I feel like he's also one of those super oblivious dudes so you know there's those dudes where like your chick will tell you like oh can you not do this or don't do whatever and he's the one that's constantly ████ scratching the car or fumbling the keys or like ████ ████ up because it's open and maybe she's just so ████ pissed all the time yeah gambled all the money away on crypto or something yo slots yeah I'm Candy Crush here we'll just we'll just do a face judgment what do you think oh she looks nice yeah killer yeah killer bro and if she's uh found guilty of this attempted murder she's gonna get eight years she has great skin huh eight years because
8:27 she's a dermatologist maybe because he didn't die so it's an attempted murder yeah right and maybe they could even get that somehow down yeah so she'll do like two years if she goes to jail and she comes out do you think she could still be a dermatologist no well I feel like if that happened to me right if I find that out like I would never call the cops I would just sit with the Bros like bro what do I do look you tried to kill me off like do I break up with her I'm like ████ I don't even know like you're back bro I'm gonna have a date night or a staycation I'm surprised his internal organs didn't burn up yet yeah yeah yeah maybe that's that's the trick it's like you can't put so much that he'll detect it so you gotta find The Sweet Spot because when you pour Drano down the drain you can
9:17 hear that ████ sizzle the hair oh it's gross but every time he's done drinking he pours it like oh I wonder what's done my coffee cup is gone yeah it says that that's what my acid reflux feels like so like yeah he's like business as usual dude what if he was like trying to trigger because like what if he knew but she didn't know that he knew so he was like hey I made you some tea and then he did it to her oh like why don't you drink this tea let's share today and she's like oh no no and then you're like why not you know and then dude Classic Game of Thrones style yeah I guess what it says is that she was taken advantage of his daily ritual because he's very like methodical yeah he does the same thing the doctor so it's like oh hot cup of tea every morning puts the thing I guess it's like hot lemonade that's what it says what the
10:07 hell's hotline my Countryside or whatever I guess hot lemon tea why does that attract ants that's the thing that is just a ████ excuse I know it's just a really really bad defense yeah dude but as a defense lawyer like what could you even what's a better defense than that you're guilty and get as little years as possible you're like you got eight years you could you could deal with that like why do you want to kill me so bad like insanity you don't even go to jail you're gonna go to some ████ my home yeah oh yeah I do want to know the drama though as to what got her to this point where she's like I need to kill this ████ you know maybe they need to spice it up maybe their life yeah she's a doctor too they did that they definitely spice the ████ up yeah they're on JK news now you would think she would have access to more like better elements to use yeah it's the worst Showtime original series there's gonna be no docs on this dude
10:58 it's like if this was a script you're like but why did you make them doctors yeah [Music] thank you foreign
// end of tape