0:00 Okay. Well, were you there when I was trying to get help with my homework and he would throw beer bottles at me instead >> and coffee sometimes? >> I don't I don't remember you being there. >> Yeah, I wasn't there. >> I don't remember when all the other kids got picked up from school, but Jared would simply hit me with his pickup truck and [snorts] drag my body into the back of the truck. >> I'm laughing because it was such a good memory [laughter] >> for him. It was great. >> Welcome back everybody to another episode of the Careful Boys where we got Dr. Mike and Jared out here with us, [applause] y'all. Hey, you briefly mentioned at the beginning of the last video something about your guys' like life story or context or something like that. [clears throat] >> Give us the [snorts] juice. >> And you have to get it off your channel. >> You hear it here first, folks. >> Not on Solomon's channel.
0:50 [laughter] >> Edit that out. gonna make every >> um [laughter] Jared and I have been subject to an insidious rumor that we want to put away. >> That's very want to what? >> Put it away. >> We want to >> We want to squash the rumor. >> Oh, >> I don't know how this happened. >> Me either, >> but people somehow got the idea that I'm Jared's dad. >> I wonder how >> We don't know how it happened. We don't know how to >> fire. >> Fire. >> I must have been drunk. >> But the reality is even more complex. >> Mhm. >> You're his daddy. >> Uncle, >> you're close. You're close, >> papa. >> Jared is my dad. >> Yes. [laughter] >> And you would think, I know what you're thinking. This is a throwaway joke.
1:41 They're just trying to flip the script on people. >> ████ that dude. >> And we have uh anticipated that critique. And luckily we are finally >> son. Don't ████ touch me. You know how this Yeah. Thank you. [laughter] >> Dude, show him some love. What the >> Let me tell you the rest of this. >> When we were when he was >> Jared and I will >> fill you in. >> Yeah. >> You would think, oh, it's not like you really had a childhood together and Jared wasn't really your dad. Well, then how come we have such an incredibly detailed story? >> Yeah. and he has my upbringing with my dad >> Jared Feather IFBB Pro. So I can I can just do a quick rundown of what happened and we would love to field some questions about the nitty-gritty details >> because how can a person be clearly fabricating a story if they can answer specific questions about the nature of
2:31 the relationship and the history of the relationship? What happened was >> I grew up in the Midwest, >> which is true >> in Missouri. >> And I I'm not sure. >> Are you just telling his story now? >> Oh. Oh, you would think >> Well, you would think we're in the same house. It sounds similar. >> The pieces are going to be similar. >> He grew up under my roof. >> Ask yourself a question. How did Jared, a former starstudded high school athlete in his own right, raise a special needs child like me all by himself? >> It's not easy. Parents, >> the answer is it's not easy. And he worked at the factory. >> Yep. >> Every ████ day, >> slaving away Pepsi. >> Pepsi factory in Missouri. And you would think there's no way he did that sober. What a tough life. He was never sober.
3:21 >> I wasn't. >> He would begin to drink in the morning. over his job. >> Cuz I knew I was doing a podcast with my son. >> It it goes into adulthood. >> And yes, >> I don't think that he's your dad. >> Okay. I do understand that you have your own truth. >> Yeah. >> And I respect that. >> Yeah. I just don't think he's your dad. >> Okay. Well, were you there when I was trying to get help with my homework and he would throw beer bottles at me instead >> and coffee sometimes? >> I don't I don't remember you being there. >> Yeah, I wasn't there. I don't remember when all the other kids got picked up from school, but Jared would simply hit me with his pickup truck and [snorts] drag my body into the back of the truck. >> I'm laughing because it was such a good memory >> for him. It was great. So, people genuinely believe that this dad thing >> that he's mine, >> that he's your dad, >> but he's trying to fix it, though. >> But we're making sure that they understand. >> No, no, I know. I know you're correcting the record right now. People out there genuinely think that that's a real deal
4:12 thing. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> But why would you hide it? >> Yeah. Why would you hide it if it's real? cuz you openly talk about your family life and everything. So, it's like why would they >> Yeah. like how I didn't know my dad. That doesn't mean he didn't know his father cuz I'm sitting right here. >> We don't know the statutory timeout laws on child abuse. >> And Jared every day made sure what what he called learning life's lessons which was him just teeing off on me. >> What is your name? >> Um stupid >> Dr. Mike. I I instilled some ████ wisdom into you. I did do well in my life. >> Beat the smartness into you, huh? >> Really? That's what he said. >> Uh, a typical >> And I'd always do it with the championship ring on that he never ████ got either. >> Why can't you get you a ring, boy? Classically heard at our house. >> See that state ring? >> Um, I remember a lot of times I was in the kitchen and I would ask dad if
5:03 excuse me, father. He insisted I was formal. And uh, is is there a way I can get a breadcrumb to eat? And he was watching television, uh, mostly old reruns of his high school glory days. And he would take an sometimes halfway full beer bottle and just throw it into my general direction. It would splatter glass everywhere. Shards would go at me. >> You have kids. >> Um >> Oh, I have one. >> Yeah, you get it. >> Yeah. >> How are you raising him? Right. >> I throw boba at him. See? >> Oh, nice. Very cultural. >> We didn't have that in the Midwest. >> Yeah. Not until I met you all did I know what boba was. >> Yeah. It was to the point where there was a liquor store down the street and when I was 6 years old, the liquor store owner would absolutely sell me liquor because he knew it was for P. because P was in no condition to be walking >> and I was an all-star athlete, son, and they all knew that. >> Yeah, they has a lot of respect there for Jared's. >> So, how did you guys heal >> heal >> from this?
5:53 >> What the hell is that? >> Are you still >> I mean, physically, it took a lot of surgeries [laughter] to put me back together. >> I have one I have one big question. >> How is the son older than the father? >> Mhm. >> That's right. I never thought of that. >> We have an answer. I can resolve this. >> We need it sciencebacked, by the way. >> So sciencebacked. >> It's very sciencebacked. Okay, >> cuz maybe Ta is older. >> Fellas ever played high school football? >> No, I watched it. >> I mean, look at us. >> I did junior high two hand. >> Flag football. >> Look at us. >> Yeah. Okay, good. This actually You're the most credible football player here. >> Thank you. >> Yeah, I was on the junior high football team and we played flag. >> Flag football is a ruthless sport. >> Come on. >> And you also, how many of you guys know like some rudimentary like uh Einsteinian physics? Mhm. Rudimentary rudimentary rudimentary
6:44 >> Tik Tok Einstein stuff. >> Eligible. Eligible. >> I've seen a lot of Sora videos of Einstein as an MMA fighter recently. Okay. So, >> I have seen those. >> Yep. So, you're well, you're overqualified. >> And so, what [clears throat] ends up happening is there are very fast pee-wee middle school and high school football running backs. >> Mhm. >> Oh, man. Jerry, he was faster than them. >> Much. >> And in fact, he was so fast, >> he ran the time backwards. >> Correct. He ran so fast he went back in time, inseminated my wouldbe mother in Soviet Russia >> somehow because of time and space. When you're that fast, it don't matter. >> Your mother is a Russian gym. She was a >> gem. >> GM. Okay, got it. Yeah. Come on now. >> All right. So fast you turned into a time machine. >> Oh, gems. >> He didn't turn into a time machine, but
7:34 yes, in a sense, yes. He ran backwards in time. He ejaculated inside of someone who would eventually become my mother. >> She's very old now. >> She Yes, cuz she's slower >> because she gets older faster. [laughter] Exactly. >> But then, so when I was seven years old, my mom had done her best to raise me in Russia. She was being imprisoned for political crimes. They were ████ but that's how communism works. And she was like, that's my Russian name. She's like, you go to Kurville, Missouri, and live with your father Jared. He look younger than you, but he's great man in a sense. And I was like, "B████, what you mean in a sense?" And out the door I went >> and right into a punch. And I remember that championship ring just sneaking right into my visual field. And I knew I was home. >> But it was better than communism, wasn't it? >> Way better than communism. >> There's freedom. Taste that. >> Exactly what he said. >> That's exactly [laughter] what Were you there?
8:24 >> Oh, you told me this before. I think you forgot. >> Okay. Okay. Yeah. >> He forgets when he drinks. Yes. Yeah. >> You say you're Russian. >> Yeah. >> The ████ was that? >> Duh. >> No, I'm kidding. No, you really said a word. I was ████ with you. >> His wife, his wife's Russian Jew, right? >> Yeah. >> Ukrainian. >> Ukrainian Jew. >> Ukrainian. Well, it was Russia. He speak Russian, but they're Ukrainian. >> I tried to tell him to stop speaking that ████ in my house. [laughter] >> He never ████ >> I tell you what, boy. You don't talk. >> He call his mom and I'd beat his ass when I heard those ████ phone calls, man. Cuz they're just speaking that ████ >> Freedom. >> Yeah, he said a lot. >> I would yell that. I'd throw another beer bottle. Well, I'm glad you chose this place to clear up all of this and set the record straight because we're gonna be breaking this news like crazy. >> Yeah, it's good. It feels like a weight has been lifted off of me. >> Um, and it honestly feels like I'm back in the cornfields of Missouri standing
9:15 200 feet away from the house and hiding from my dad as he breaks ████ in there looking for me. >> I always found them twice. I was really bad at that. [laughter] >> But maybe I wanted to be found, you know. Oh man. We >> like to ask you guys a question. But I would like to count down 3 2 1 and then I would like you to answer me at the exact same time. >> Yeah, you ████ lying stacks of ████ >> That's rude. >> Ready? [laughter] >> What is his mother's name? Three, two, one. >> Yolena, >> but but then >> I called her yin. >> Yeah, >> I didn't know what he was going to say. >> Hold up, hold up, hold up. [laughter] I can resolve this. I can res >> I called her. >> He is an alcoholic absentee father. You think he ever asked her name? >> I didn't know her full name. If I'm being honest, that's why she was still in Russia. >> Tell me tell me you've all of the women that you've ever had intercourse. >> This is not This is not my >> We need a longer video for that. We have
10:05 to pay editors to do time. A lot of time. >> I understand that. >> Ask her. Ask them. >> I actually didn't even know who his mom was. >> Mom's mom's height. >> Why did you just ask them? >> No, cuz you're you have more authoritative control. >> Okay. Mom's height in three, two, one. >> She's like 410. Yeah, she was real small. But they all are for me, right? So, there was a list. I didn't know who his mom was, right? Like, could have been anyone. >> Could have been anyone, but I knew he was mine. Look at him. P. >> Yeah. >> And my biggest regret in life is that I never became a state champion. Like my >> mine, too. Mine, too. >> He was a state runner up. >> My biggest regret as well. No, you didn't. >> I didn't. Oh, yeah. That's right. No, you were a multi-time state champion in every conceivable sport. >> I was a nobody and continue to be a nobody. You guys ever won states in anything? >> Oh, I won states in powerlifting when no one competed. My man. I think we all
10:55 kind of did that. >> Yeah. >> I just kept moving states. That's about it. >> Yeah. What is that? >> I kind of got sad. Why did you kept moving? >> It's kind of stuffing. Yeah. >> We're good. >> Well, I don't know. We're letting our ████ out. Go ahead. >> We're good. [laughter] >> Well, thank you guys for tuning in. And now you've we've set the record straight. Jared is not uh his son. He is rather the father. >> Go spread that rumor around. >> And if anybody knows where uh Russian Yolena is, uh let us know. We're trying to find them. Stop spreading rumors, you idiots.
// end of tape
