0:00 like beat it up dry age it bra it I said braze it that's what I said put it in the broiler right right Nick B improv etiquette bad improv eate all right so mankind for how many eons you think has mankind existed how long has mankind existed yeah how long isn't like 40,000 years all right so disputed so I put I put a different number do you not read the Bible it's it's as long as go Blacky tappy okay so how long do you think mankind has been attacked by sharks the dawn time sharks are older so now we think we just figured out how to solve shark attacks how th% how all right so you guys are going to think I'm trolling but I'm not don't they wear the Metal Sheets licorice they don't like licorice yeah guess guess guess the hell
0:52 um not not licorice I know black you take away all the water oh dry them out that's next level I can't even think I going to say um my brain can't get there water uh go to a hill go to a hill no sharks can still get you on a hill really liquid OIC put it in the water that's really good no cartoons the answer is no I'm going to set this one what do you mean like show them cartoons show them cartoons and then that one weird eye they have like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa so in your brain you're like getting about to get Shar attacked by shark you pull up like Looney Tunes real quick well you got to get the waterproof casing like a otter boxart and then you go check it out and the shark go w w wo wo wo W wo just always have it ready the answer is no okay I think we're all out of guesses Steve gu got to do something with sound waves or light it's light starfish wow a broken watch is write twice a day as they say so sharks sharks my God sharks
1:46 have famously have poor eyesight right yes and they often mistake surfboards for seals if you add bright light underneath it has been found to be a successful deterrent wow according to a Sydney Surfer and scientist underneath where underneath the surfboard like if you put some LEDs you put like a PL Puck Light under there or some ████ yeah then they'll think it's like something else then they'll they're not into it they'll think it's a seal with a they're out they just know what it's not think about it if you're trying to get a seal why a seal doesn't have light on his Bell true deucing that's not for me right I'm out of here oh they should just make like a like a surfboard with like glow the dark material underneath or something oh like the ones like under cars you know is it known that they're more attracted to specifically surf boards but not in like a human treading water so they the belief is that they're after seals when
2:37 they go after Surfers cuz they're trying to eat something yum yeah they're trying to eat something yum yum some people put like those LED string things on the bottom of their paddle board so then at night when you go it's like glowing and it look like they're floating on glowing water that's pretty cool that's just that's just TI they're pretty safe have you ever seen bioluminescent tal flagin before oh when the waav crashes in Plankton yep that's the coolest they had a bunch of San Diego huh yeah and they respond to kinetic energy so like back right now as the waves crash see and it looks like an explosion it looks like Avatar all over the ████ place it's like James camon jerked off and I heard that the sun charges their ████ on the day so then at night it gets l so that's true cuz I used to have these as a pet cuz I was a very big nerd as a kid and I got beat up but I had these in in an aquarium yeah so you order these online
3:27 and then you get sent to your house and then you get so excited cuz you just got you're nerd you got ████ Plankton as a pet and then you put it in an aquarium and you can like touch the water and they spark up wow wow order by luminescent planked in that's pretty ████ cool was a kid dude how long did you have it for uh they died in 3 days the cool ones dude no no no no no yeah we didn't know how to really take care of him that flate dork have you guys a shark before yeah shark F never had shark shark it's real shark I had shark fin soup but I don't I never had shark meat I want to try shark meat I want to try like a shark steak Yeah I want to try it's good it seems like it might be tough mhm why cuz don't you usually want like a less muscular and a more like a fatty mus maybe maybe they could like braze it and it's soft like beat it up dry age it no bra it I said braze it
4:19 that's what I said put it in the broiler right right Nick D inov etiquette B improv kid no you did the bad one I said I said bra I said bra I said P how do we bra it B how do we bra it you get a clay pot from Singapore he doesn't yes have you dud soy marinated Clay Pot throw better rice in there put some soy sauce Ginger scallions get the shark put on there and then on the heat and then it's probably soft it's probably soft hey where can we get some definely not America is illegal here right oh is it I think it is why is it illegal are they in danger I think it's like about like they're yeah they're not
5:09 less of them cuz the Finning all the Finning going on what shark fin soup yeah they're cutting the fins off cut the fins off and Chuck them in the water to have shark fin soup not we actually have more great white sharks now than we did before and you know why did really yeah is because uh we made out a law to stop hunting seals so there was an abundance of seals and that's their main food source right so now there's more ████ great white sharks because the more food more humans hunted seals Japanese guys love hunting seal really they love just beating them up they just love Bea them up on the oh right they Club them they take their fur right or I thought they Club the Dolphins they do that too they do that too but if it's in the sea Japanese people are eating it yeah Japanese people are such good fish Japanese people are like Chinese people but like
5:59 for sea stuff don't ████ get a aluminum can out of the ocean and just start eating that ████ are Chinese people on like land Chinese is like bats and pangalan land animals Japanese people are sea animals yeah got it bats are more air animals who's more horny it's still from the land probably Japanese Japanese well it's it's weird right because you would you would think Japanese are more horny but Chinese people are actually having more babies oh I see but that's just a numbers game per capita Japanese are horny do you think it's cuz yeah you're right horny is not mutually exclusively tied to having babies yeah are they more horny cuz they're Japanese guys are more down bad that's a good point yeah that's a Joe question I guess Joe looks pretty down bad right now it's good improv eate yeah yeah that's good improv
6:51 etiquette and and bad down bad down all right bad down hello so so down bad I didn't I wasn't praking that yeah so now that we solve shark attacks we don't have to worry about it anymore I think we should bring back seal clubbing okay cuz if we ████ up all the seals then the Sharks go hungry and then they die but how many shark attacks happen a year like we wound them and then there's less shark yeah and don't orcas ████ with sharks they'll straight kill them or will kill kill everything they've been capsizing ships have you seen how they hunt uh bears polar bears yeah they're gang knock them off the ████ I seen them hunt like a silver fish in like a a trainer's hand that was crazy they'll go they'll go under a ████ ice ice thing
7:42 and they'll go like a whole team of them will go under the ice thing and they start doing that dolphin it cracks all the ████ ice and whatever the ████ is on top falls through and they just they're considered like top of the food chain right ████ yeah apex predator would you say they're the Apex how do they know the Bears is up there they can hear them and ████ then they go like this and then they see it real quick that's all they need that's that's all they need they just you know I never felt so bad for a predator before me either that's why when everyone does all this crybaby ████ about SeaWorld I'm like you're just lucky he's not out there yeah yeah just killing everybody yeah you ever see the guys on the boats and they get ████ up by killer whales why they've been taking out their they capsized I mean that's fair yeah Fair they had a coming dude yeah that's fair probably bunch of Japanese guys trying to fish him out yep I ate whale before
8:33 and it wasn't worth it really it was good I had whale before and it was good I had whale was was it not worth though did it cost a lot heck how did you have it no I'm just trying to be accepted because I know people hate Japanese people for eating whale really well I had whale um interesting I had whale sashimi and it tasted like imagine a piece of tuna but filled with iron and blood that's not not good with that doesn't sound good that's what mine tast like Su all right I'll explain it what did George taste like I had whale steak in Norway oh like cooked so it's cooked like a steak okay so it feels and looks like a steak but it tastes like fish so it's like a so it tastes like seafood I I had it in sushi it confuses the ████ out of your brain cuz it's like it's a it's a it's a mammal would you
9:24 say it tastes like so it's literally like red meat so it like looks literally like cow steak but it's very rich fish taste it's not it's not red though it looks like meat but it's purple looking I had blute and it tastes like the watery part of the garbage can you're just drinking it so that was a was pretty sweet really like that you wouldn't be able to it's so rich that you wouldn't be able to eat it like cuz you know how we could all eat a steak like every week or every day I can eat steak every day this you couldn't eat every day imagine like filet manong I can imagine that I had it for lunch but it's really strong fish flavor M that kind of takes me out a little I'm out yeah that's mine was it just tasted like I was biting into a blood clop
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