0:00 [Music] Welcome back to a hopefully heartfelt episode of the Careful Boys where Bart was mentioning how he's trying to fix his relationship with his mom. >> No, what he said was, "I recently told my mom she's a dumb >> in Chinese." But then he also said he tried to fix his relationship. I don't know where the chronological order. >> I called her a dumb to help fix it though. >> You think? So you abused her toing fix it. >> No. So like what >> what is my relationship? You're a dumb. >> What did it start off with? >> Oh, so um you guys know my >> it started with that. >> No, you know my pet peeve, right? You guys know one of my pet peeves with my mom is um I hate that she has all these X-Men fortune teller friends, right? I
0:52 hate that. I hate how much she is such a devout, like not a devout Buddhist. Like I don't mind about her beliefs, but how she donates to the temple and she gets sucked into like Yeah, she gets taken advantage. She gets sucked up into the system. >> Um she's like a very like naive, very innocent person. >> And um recently she text. So I've been trying to repair a relationship with her, especially after my dad passed. I had her come stay with me and I was going to have her come stay with me again this year. Um, and I wanted to make it like a weekly, I mean, a yearly thing or maybe even like two times a year thing. And she sent me this thing of like, "Hey, uh, recently I reviewed your fortunes from when I was a kid and it said this, this, this, this, this." And I ████ hate that because once things get incepted,
1:43 >> it I feel like it has a chance to manifest >> or you start questioning are things happening because I'm deciding to do this or is it actually Dennis destiny or is it because you said it and now it's happening? Right? So you kind of lose your like your free will type of things. So I ████ hate it. So, I told my mom through text, I'm like, "See, this is the exact reason." I'm like, "I told you I hate this. Um, I hate when you tell me these things. Um, I don't want to know any of these things ever." And then she was like, "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." She's like, "No, no, no." But, this time I didn't go see a new person. I just reviewed old documents. >> Wait, wait, wait. Tangent. Hey, that's what Ragnar feels about the seer and Vikings. >> That's true. >> Right. Right. Okay. Okay. Time in. >> But he was right anyway. The seer was always right. Am I Am I cool like Ragnar?
2:34 >> Uh you're different. Okay, you're different. Your mom's exactly like the seer, though. >> So I ████ So I told him I'm like, "Dude, it's the same ████ ████ She's just trying to find a loophole so she could still tell you s███." >> The main ████ is I want to make my own decisions and let me run my family my own way cuz whatever she says affects Gio and Ta and all that stuff, too. So I just ghosted her um for like 2 or 3 weeks. She'll text me random things, pretend like nothing happened. Like she ████ sent me. >> Dude, why does it sound like the same story between me and my mom? >> Same ████ >> It's like low impulse control. >> ████ sends me like a ████ uh Taiwanese orchestra. >> I'm like like the next day, you know, like Asian parents will like next day pretend like nothing happened. >> Oh, check this out. They're >> It's literally as strong as I'm sorry. I hope we're good. >> Yeah. >> I just I let her love this video. >> I let her know I I received it like a
3:25 thumbs up or a heart, whatever. And that's it. I don't reply and I'm like, "All right, you know what? Like, I really want to repair my relationship. So, once I get my feelings calmed down, the next time I go to JK, um, I'm going to skip jiu-jitsu, which is what I love. I would have stopped by Lion Hart on Wednesday, but I was like, I think it's probably more important to do to have dinner with my mom." >> You missed out. I taught a great class, dude. >> ████ man. See, I knew I should I knew I should have went. So, I I picked up my mom and then of course she's like really happy and stuff and then uh because a lot of stuff I can't really communicate through text. It's hard, you know. So, I'm going to start using that chat GBT thing. I think it'll be helpful. But I told her I was like um you know like this whole like fortune teller thing it the reason why it really affects me and hurts me um because it's the through
4:18 line is when I wanted to do JK it blew your brains that I like comedy right and I'm like it's because when ever since I was a kid like the example I gave her would be like I've been telling you I'm a dog but you keep thinking I'm a cow. So, were you a good mom? Were you a good mom? Yes, you're a really good mom because she'll like, "Okay, my son's a cow, so I'm going to go find the world's best hay and grass and I'm going to feed it to uh my cow." But then I'm literally going, "I don't ████ eat grass, ████ I'm a ████ dog." So, the whole time she never really rude. >> Yeah. She doesn't really understand who I am. Um, and so when she does this fortune teller thing, it's the same type of triggering effect. like when are you ever going to listen? And if you want to repair this relationship, you have to
5:08 love me through my love language, not through yours, you know? And then so I had to like find a way to break down that when you look at go through these fortune tellers to get my fortune told. Surface level one, yes, you want me to live a good life, so you're trying to prevent me from tragedy. But the real reason, the selfish reason is that you're trying to find some sort of certainty so that your heart feels good, >> right? Cuz I already ████ told you I don't want to know this ████ If I'm going to go ████ swimming with dolphins one day and a dolphin's going to bite me in the ass, let that happen. You don't have to tell me through a fortune that a dolphin's going to bite my ass or whatever, right? So I was explaining that to her and then um so that was like one conversation. Then the next conversation was uh she was telling me how recently uh she got
6:00 into two car accidents >> in a year, right? >> Why is that funny? >> I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. >> She's an Asian driver. >> That number one that number one. Number two, she lives in Monterey Park. So reinforces the stereotype. >> Number three, she said her insurance company dropped her. >> I was like, I never even heard of that. I'm like, dude, that's Are you not even a thing? I'm like, "They dropped you?" She's like, "Yeah, they don't share me anymore." And I'm like, >> cuz she's too risky. >> Yeah. I'm like, "What the f███?" So, finally, she had an insurance broker find her another insurance company that is willing to insure her and it's going to be 500 a month. >> Oh, ████ So, I'm like, "What the f███?" So, she was like, "I'm not driving no more. I'm only going to Uber." >> I was like, "Oh, ████ Okay, that's kind of new school." And then so, but she
6:52 doesn't know Uber the way we do, like through a app. So, she would see a car that says Uber on it. >> Hello, can you give me a drive? Can you drive me a drive? >> That's hilarious. >> I'm like, that's not how Uber works. And she's like, yeah, I found all the highways. >> That's what she said. >> So, what ended up happening is that guy, he goes, "Hey, I don't do it like that, but he was a Chinese dude." And he was like, "Um, but call this card. This lady is the type where you call them and they'll take you >> where you need to go. So my mom >> underground Chinese ████ >> Yeah. Yeah. So my mom's like, "Okay, like I literally only need to drive once a week to go to the grocery store. That's it. This will be fine." >> She call uh she calls them. That little person's name, that person's name is like little little bean or something. It's like a cute nickname. >> Shall Bean. >> Yeah. Yeah. Bean. They go on car rides, right? They go on car rides and then
7:42 she's like, "Oh yeah." So she she's like, "You're not gonna believe what happened." She dropped me over here, over there. It was friendly. I got to know her. And then I go, "Let me guess." She goes, "What?" I'm like, "She asked to borrow some money." And then my mom's like, "How do you know?" And I'm like, "Cuz ████ this I've been ████ telling you since day one." That's why I called you a ████ dumbass. I was like, "You ████ dumbass." I'm like, "You are so innocent. You see the world in this beautiful like lens of of everything." I'm like, "The minute you got in the car, you're probably complimenting the car. see how smooth she drives. That lady is probably Chinese and they're Chinese scammers. So, she's probably like, "Oh, this is a friendly person. Let me get she revealed some stuff about her. You felt a connection. You revealed something about you." And then she started to ask you, she's probably in a a dark spot and needs a little bit of money. And my
8:32 mom's like, "What the hell? How do you know?" Like they cuz I'm a fortune teller. >> A fortune. >> I should have said that. I should have said, but I was like, "Because I've been seeing you get scammed ever since I was 8 years old." I'm like, "Remember when we go see ████ fortune tellers and you'll be like, "My son just got kicked out of school. What do you think his future's like?" And then they're like, "Uh, maybe troublesome." Why? She know you. You know, I'm like, "You I literally see you give the info. Like, you ████ go there and you give the info." And I'm like, "B████, you can get scammed left and ████ right." So, I called her a stupid ass. And um what I was really proud of her was that um she usually she has like a defense mechanism. No, you know, no, whatever. She was like, "Oh." And she really like like was able to be introspective and go like, "Oh, I could see that, oh, I could
9:23 see." And then she started to like understand how kind of everything connected, how she hasn't been loving me the way that I needed. And uh the whole fortune thing is to satisfy her own internal struggle and not loving the way I and not respecting me that I don't want a fortune and how I hate seeing her get taken advantage of which is something like that has happened like her whole life. >> Yeah. >> So that was like the whole conversation and then she's like so what do we do from here or whatever and I'm like it's not one of those things where like I'm like you're my mom so I'm always going to forgive you. It's not one of those things where it's like, uh, what can we fix right now? It's just the more you do these things, distance will just naturally build cuz I want to hang out with you less. I want to bring Tao and Gio around you less and we're just going to have more and more distance. So, how
10:14 stuff like this works is the more you respect what my boundaries are, our love language gets more and more in sync, we will hang out more and our relationship will get better and better. And um she said she understood. >> She said it, but >> well, who knows? Because it's a hard conversation to have though. >> They're it's like their um what do you call it? It's like a drug addict trying to control themselves. >> It's a habit. >> Cuz what I noticed is that um a lot of it is just stemmed from fear and anxiety. >> They're trying to they're trying to remedy. >> Yeah. Trying to get some sort of certainty so like there's no anxiety trying to find a way. every single time they feel anxious or scared or something, they go into that damn >> bad, they go into what is perceived as a solution in their mind. >> Yeah. >> Cuz it's so crazy. My dad used to go see a ton of like uh fortune tellers, too.
11:06 >> And uh I used to always be like tripped out cuz my dad is like telling me like don't believe in ████ God. Like don't believe Christians and ████ >> But then the same time he's like, "Yeah, I'm going to go talk to this fortune teller." And then like he would tell me things that they would tell me like and tell um they would tell him about me and I'd always be like, you know, even as a kid, I'd be like, "Bro, what?" Like, "How could you like listen to that?" But then it does make sense like when you bring it up. It's from the lens of >> your parents just trying to make themselves feel better about the future or uncertainty or whatever. And you're like, "Yeah, that's actually I never thought of it that way." And it does kind of change how you look at your life. And these fortune are evolving. >> Like some of the news that they get will be like, "Oh, this is this is what's gonna happen on Bitcoin." Whatever. I'm like, "What the f███?" >> She said that. >> Yeah. Yeah. She was like, she'll be
11:56 like, "Oh, this is my my friend said Bitcoin is going to go like this and then the price of gold is going to go like this." I'm like, "What the f███?" >> Do you talk to your mom about Bitcoin stuff though >> here and there? Yeah. >> Yeah. So, do you So, she probably is like, "Oh, my son's interested in this. Let me give him some fat." >> Sick little advice, >> dude. Last time I went to a fortune teller, it was at the Asian Garden Mall and I went with a group of friends. It was uh my friend, his wife, and then this my other friend that's a girl, right? And then the old lady, she's like an old lady fortune teller. And she's like, "Oh, you know, I'm gonna tell her fortune. I'm going to do your fortune." And then and then she would be like, "You two one day you're going to get married. You're going to but uh I'm going to run into money problems and she's going to leave you and do this and that." I'm like, "Yo, that's wild." cuz we're we have zero interest for we're like just friends, you know, and I'm
12:46 like, "Dude, this fortune telling ████ is kind of whack." >> Are you still friends with that girl? >> No, I don't. Dude, I haven't talked to her in years. >> What's her IG though? Is she hot? >> Yeah. >> Uh, no. >> Can you introduce us? >> Huh? No. >> All right. Whatever. >> She's not hot to me, but maybe to maybe to some of you guys. I don't know. >> Nice. Nice. >> Is she hot to someone that's been in jail for 12 years? Yeah. >> Yeah. But that was like the last time cuz I did that and I've done tarot readings. Have you guys ever done those? >> Those are actually way more accurate because they're just pulling out random cards and then they go, "Oh, right now you're focused on this, this, and that." I'm like, "That is true." And then it's very specific to my work. And I'm like, damn, how did they get that from a random like >> But isn't it supposed to be kind of general though? >> Yeah. I I think it's different because
13:36 those are meant to influence your future by you knowing where you're at being introspective cuz there's a difference, right? Like if a fortune teller is like, "You should avoid this, this, and this." >> You're just like, "Wait, what the ████ right? Cuz you don't know what's going on." Like you're getting your ass bit by a dolphin in the ocean or some ████ like that. Whereas like something like a tarot card where at least when I've had a tarot card reading, it's like they'll pull something out. It's like you it's like you pulled this out, right? So they're like, "Okay, do you feel this? are you conflicted with this right now? And then if you're like, yeah, I'm conflicted with this. It's like, well, this is just showing you an example that if you are conflicted with this, usually it could mean that blah blah blah if you stay conflicted. >> So, it just gives you a general thing of being like, okay, you're the one who feels this type of thing and I'm only drawing from it cuz you chose this card. And if it's relevant, then it's like, you have a choice because this card usually means it's either going to go
14:26 this way or that that way. Make a choice. >> You know, was one of the consequences of ████ fortune telling? So, uh, when I was a kid, my mom told me or her ████ home girl told her I was going to crash a bicycle. >> So, my bike got locked up. Oh. When I'm 10. >> Oh. >> So, started my And my mom being ████ riskadverse Asian, she started locking up my bike when I was eight. >> It's ████ up. >> She's like, "Eight's too close to 10." So, for 2 years, I couldn't ride my bike. Then when I was 10 in fifth grade, I'm like, "F███ yeah." She goes, "No, that's too close." And then she didn't let me ride until I was 12 because she wanted to be extra safe for 4 years. >> For 4 years it just was locked up. I'm like this ████ crazy. >> Did you ever borrow somebody else's bike during that? >> Oh, all the time. >> Did you crash? >> No. >> Wow.
15:16 >> So careful. >> Maybe it was maybe it was real. I mean uh yeah. like maybe like she's just getting lied to. And I'm like her the way she like my the biggest gripe my dad had with my mom is they got her their fortune read and then it said they were going to divorce like a certain year. They did get divorced that certain year. >> And so my dad's biggest gripe was like, "You ████ stupid ████ You could have divorced me a year before or a year after just to say ████ you to that person." But we literally got divorced in the year that the fortune said that we're going to get divorced. So now it's double loose. >> You know, like he was like, "Just wait a year. Just do the paperwork a year after or a year earlier." >> So like the way my mom like reads fortunes, it's like >> she also interprets it her own way and
16:06 absorbs it in the stupidest way possible. >> And then adds like a kind of a confirmation bias element to it moving forward. You have such a triggering >> uh response to anytime she brings it up. >> Yeah. Especially since it's like since you were a kid. >> And it's like if fortune tellers are really like talking ████ about you to your mom and then she's relaying that information back to you. Like see like that's kind of a crazy thing to deal with as a kid. >> I didn't believe that ████ though until I met Hannah. >> Wait, what? Believe for telly? >> Yeah. >> Really? >> Well, I feel like that's all it takes. >> Psychic ability is one psychic ability. >> Yeah. This is what I told my mom. I told my mom, I'm not against psychic ability or X-Men powers, but I'm like, but I'm against your stupid ass interpreting what they say. >> So, I'm like, just like how you can get
16:56 scammed by a Uber driver, >> you are not the right person to receive this information because I can tell if someone's going to scam you, you can't. So, if I had like a team of fortune tellers in front of me, I might be able to like decipher which one's legit, which one's not, or whatever. But you are the person that I've literally seen get scammed every single time. So, it's actually not safe for someone that's as innocent as you to have fortune teller friends cuz they'll latch on and they'll be able to constantly just leech money for like 10 years straight and you don't even know. >> Do you feel like some of her fortune teller friends that have been around for a while are just like using her? >> For sure. >> ████ yeah. She sold her ████ the pad that my dad passed away at. She sold that pad to that fortune teller lady that blessed the house for like 150 grand off the market price. >> Oh my god. So I was like cuz I think in
17:48 her eyes, oh, she blessed it. She has the powers to withstand such a like a haunted type place so you can do it and then I just want a quick escrow and then cuz like I would keep asking how much to sell it for. How much you sell it for? She would just keep giving me all these reasons >> cuz she knows she ████ up. >> She know she ████ up. No, how much to sell it for? How much sell it for? And she was like, I forgot what she said. It was like maybe like 650 or whatever. And it could have been 8 or even more. >> Wow. >> And then I was like, "What the f███?" >> Yeah. >> So I was like, "Dude, this thing was never never ending. >> That's hard. >> That's tough." Fortune telling really >> But was that same fortune teller who blessed the house, who bought that, the one who also said, "You're going to get divorced because now your dad can come back and just haunt that." >> No, no, it's a different one. >> Oh, ████ She meets She meets new ones all the time.
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