0:00 [Music] welcome back to careful boys we are very careful let's be careful for a change and today we're going to talk about the last time that we had to say we were sorry oh last time i really mean it too like a real thing not like i spilled some ████ wine on your carpet yeah like a big sorry like a big time sauce that's a good one thank you damn now we have to sit and ponder for them you realize i don't apologize much or i think i apologize too much too much you're like sorry this time that time this time like a real sorry though not just a little one i remember i did this um brand deal and um i was like you know deliver ████ did an amazing job with it right
0:50 and i and then they came back with notes and i was like all right check this out it says here i have total creative freedom so you know what i'm gonna take that liberty right now and i'm gonna make these corrections a couple days later they said oh it's because this part was unfulfilled and i said no i fulfilled everything and then they copied the part of the contract that i didn't do and send it to me and i was so moted and i felt so embarrassed about it i love that we gotta bring that because it was at the ████ bottom oh ████ you gotta turn off your phone buddy say you're sorry that's a sorry moment i didn't see that part was very embarrassing that was very
1:42 very embarrassing you never you know when you fight for something so hard and you think you're right and they just it's one of those like yeah oh bro i was an ████ dude i ████ up you know but then i thought you just got to take the l and just be like yeah i'm sorry let me make it up to you guys damn i have a not this is not recent but it's my mind just went to this when i realized how hard i apologized for this but it's ████ up this is like 2001 and uh i i pretty much burned one of my best friends and had to tell his girl that he cheated on her oh that's a oh so who did you say sorry to the girl or the guy that's like the worst breaking of guy code but the reason it happened is because she told me she was friends with my girl at the time
2:32 and she told me something that she did where like she cheated on me basically so she was like hey i'm going to tell you what your girl did but you have to tell me what my dude did because i know you know something oh wait wait wait wait wait your girl at the time cheated on you yeah yeah so she so she gave you that info she traded me this like brokered me this deal that said i'll tell you what your girl did if you tell me what my guy did oh wait wait how did she know that you knew she just knew that if anyone knew something i would know so you you were both technically the victims in your own relationship exactly yeah and she said i'm going to tell you something but i'll only tell you if you tell me what my dude did so she already had suspicions she already knew that he had ████ up but she just didn't have any concrete info so she was friends with your she baited you but but that kind of isn't really broco because she's also your friend i think bro code is when like it's like
3:23 it's just like some guy some girls that they're hooking up with or whatever maybe you don't we're not friends with his girlfriend yeah yeah but then if you're friends too then i still shouldn't have done it though i should have just still been like i don't want to know then like i should have just but i did it so that i would know i it was like a selfie because you needed to know about if your girlfriend at the time was was a cheating second ████ and i and that was the thing where like it was it's it's i think that's the hard thing for everybody is like are you down to break that code if did you have any suspicions did you did you have any suspicions or did you but did she come up with you oh wait where's that i would never ████ do this none of us would but we're just trying to get into the mind of your shadiness [Laughter] did were you caught off guard when when she told a little bit you're like wait wait she cheated on me well the thing is
4:13 she made it really cryptic where it's like she wasn't telling me exactly what it was but she was like i have something really big to tell you and if i tell you this your your relationship is done but i'll only tell you in the condition if you square out with me but that's that's pretty much the same thing yeah and i couldn't like that's the thing and before i could even really react she was like i'm just going to tell you and then if it's weird she didn't even give a chance to you know she was like i'm gonna just tell you and it's gonna be so bad that you're gonna want to ████ tell me yeah because she's like i'm doing a solid for you how old are the salesman so she was burning out my girl in exchange for me burning out my dude can can we get the details yeah did we tell me the details when did you end up saying sorry i right after i ████ did it i so i told her and then she just like that was it she went straight to him and
5:03 was like i ████ know now ryan told me and i was already driving to his place as she was calling them and were you like i'm sorry because she she told me i had to use it for like out like it was hours of me just saying what what but what did he do what did he do he was devastated he was just like that was like he was the love of his life that he cheated yeah but he was devastated that like like because i was like the last person that he could trust with like he's i knew all his ████ and then i just like i didn't ████ spill i just killed one you know what though you know i i think a little bit different right like if if i if okay so let's say like we're friends you know let's just say hypothetically we're friends right and then you burn me out you know and then and then this boot does the does the dirty right you the shady man and then and then i'm like i am not complicit in this ████ murder all
5:53 right like you know you know what it is no i will kill somebody with you or i would even witness a murder and help you bury that body but this kind of ████ no no no no no no i'm not friends with you anymore like he ████ cheated on his girl now i'm complicit because if we hang out i know that like this happened in front of my eyes under my watch if you did it somewhere else and i know the detail and then you're just telling me a story that doesn't matter but if we were at a party she trusted me with you we're hanging out and then you ████ do something and i'm like dawg that's on my watch man like she trusts me to ████ be a good friend to protect this ████ can't you just kill her instead that's a good idea and then joel i should have done that she just killed everyone if you cheated on her
6:43 i can't do it i can't do it it could be a dumb question because why why should you say sorry to this ████ he made you complicit in a crime and you have to hold hold hide the secret i get the sorry i get it but like i because of that from now on like if any of my friends are cheating i just don't give a ████ like it's like i don't know like i because of this experience of like i will keep my friend's ████ dirty ass secret i'm telling everybody ████ that don't ████ do that ████ around me i'm telling the world i'm just gonna unload a ████ ton of secrets whether they're truths or lies just to see what you're gonna hold on just we'll never ████ talk again because i i understand what happened now is still homies though yeah we are we are somehow sure yeah cause codes also do evolve you know like when you're like a kid you have like these very idealistic codes and then as you grow older like man things are actually really complicated
7:33 it's not as simple as it seems i know man i walked in on my dad cheating on my mom and i was like bro code for life never tell them [Laughter] see the funny thing is that like we're steve is down we became even closer because he knew that after i ████ up like that i would never do that again and i never did and i did from that point i don't think you ████ up he continued to like do ████ and i never spoke again but then he got caught on his own anyway so that girl ended up giving him another chance years later this is like the ████ woman of his like it's like his dreams his moment of his dream and he keeps getting his holy grail one of his dreams sometimes and then he cheated he cheated again later anyway and absent of me ever speaking got caught so then it was like it kind of gave me a little bit of an out of like oh whether i said anything or not like you weren't slick enough
8:24 she already knew anyway kind of yeah it seemed like yeah no yeah i think like it's just that you know that denial that a lot of girls like end up going through and they're just like no way he would do that but it's like come on like then you see the science and everything but yeah i definitely would never do that again i just wouldn't ████ talk what i ████ i'm the opposite i'll tell everybody don't ████ cheat on my watch man i'll ████ tell everybody dude well you could kill on my watch and i won't ████ say ████ yeah you kelsey go to jail yeah all right if you're committing an actual crime where there's real consequences i ain't ratting for you guys right but then when there's a crime i'll tell everybody and then you're not gonna go to jail for that heartbreak i'm telling everybody make three sentences everybody a thousand percent
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10:57 uh for i think our vlog channel we're just planning throwing an idea back and forth and you know when you like have a like relation like work relationship sometimes things can get messy you know and we started battling the idea back and forth and um because i i think we're dead we're just trying to fight ideas and then when it got to the end when she uh was really upset like she had a really big reaction and she went upstairs i was sitting there and i was thinking about it i'm like oh ████ it was never really about the idea or like it was actually she just had a really bad week this week and so i went upstairs and um i apologize because i was having a argument with her words not taking in the emotions like her emotions was clearly i had a really bad
11:49 week this project that we're trying to brainstorm on is way complicated as the stakes are so low what's the point of even going down this road but i didn't receive any of that i was just going based off well it should be like this because this is this and then so um i went upstairs and i told taika and i was like hey taika tell your mom she needs to say sorry to me really nice really well like it goes upstairs and then taiko's like hey mama papa say you need to say sorry jill just immediately started laughing because she was like obviously that was like my way of saying sorry so we hug so we hugged it out and i was like i'm so sorry like i i didn't it went over my head i thought we were we thought we're debating details but i just didn't take your whole week into consideration and all the stuff that that went down yeah so i felt like a bad husband well done yeah no that's good man really quick too yeah that's
12:40 that's really good yeah i think that ████ happens to a lot of relationships because sometimes you're like tunnel vision on the task yeah yeah realizing that like there's emotions attached to what they're saying and the big picture of what's going on yeah but i think that's just the difference in like how guys and girls communicate and solve problems for sure because like i think women do attach feelings and emotions to certain things and and and what's going on there's i mean guys do too but i think it's like they we have tunnel vision when it's like well we do this stupid ass stupid ████ ████ then then that's what i just apologize for recently is you know nikki's like nikki's like you know crying about something because you know ████ cry a lot but just always be crying yeah always be friends control themselves she's crying about something
13:30 she's like talking about it and i'm just throwing solutions her way and this oh dude that's ████ yeah and this is by the way something that i already know i don't know why in this moment i was doing attacking it with solutions it's like autopilot yeah we're not always at the top of our game even when you learn something you you it takes a while to ████ you know to keep to be always in the right mindset yeah so i started ████ throwing out suggestions that gets me so much drunk it's like over right it's over yeah because you know i'm dropping a building on myself yeah cause like my girl would be like oh i'm frustrated with this blah blah and i'll be like well have you tried thinking about it from this point of view or maybe trying to do this next time and try to give too many solutions trying to use our high school conflict resolution skills yes i'm saying and then she she looks at me and and
14:21 gets even more upset and she just like i feel like you're not listening and if she feels like i'm citing other people and it's like no that's all i'm trying to say but i'm like dude how is it i i really do want to know this how is it even possible that i'm not listening to you if i'm actually trying to answer your question yeah yeah i'm trying to answer like the quandary that you have but i know that it's not about the same thing listening to the frequency of the emotion exactly what's the empathy that's exactly it it's empathy over solution yeah because they already know the difference in how we tackle problems yeah for real they know they got to fix it and they know how to fix it they i i'll get to that but i have to get through my emotions first right that's what they have to go through so i'm like it's a stupid male logical reflex to like find the problem solving first but it's it's because when we present problems to each other we're looking for other solutions because we can't do it ourselves so when i open up to you guys and be like oh this is what the thing is
15:11 this is my problem it's because i need more suggestions so i could go back with more ammunition right but then we're so used to that that kind of way of dealing with ████ that i think that we always forget that like oh it's better to just have a clear heart before you tackle a soap like yeah nick tells me he has a flat tire i'm not going to give him a hug help him go change his style can you help me one more time but i think most chicks they're really just they just need to feel safe and warm for that i would like a hug next time though guys do need hugs just a hug just two guys hugging while changing a tire the tire just stays flat hug it out no solution got you dude i just need to i know triple a's so we acted out a tire scene right there
16:02 that was really beautiful jacking off a tire scene yeah jacking off entirely for me it was night time and it was snowing it was real cold out way to stay rolling north faces yeah what about you dude you don't say sorry how you sex have her yeah he just goes to heaven he says i'm sorry we're about to have some more sex pretty much that's really how you deal with problems i feel like i apologize a lot really what do you get in trouble for i feel like you ████ up like you feel like you ████ no i just feel like um there was a point where i used to not apologize for ████ i would always try to like wordsmith and logic my way out of things or why i wasn't yeah why was it hey yo i'm sorry though wiggled out but but i feel like the second i i was just willing to apologize to things not everything but just like things in general
16:53 sometimes i feel like that's what somebody just wants to hear they just want to hear that you're sorry it's not even that you're wrong or right or it's not about right and wrong it's just that you're like willing to not be right in that moment i keep on saying people and obviously it's like relationship ████ 99 of the time right sometimes it's just being willing to be like uh it's not that i'm right but i'm sorry that you feel that way you know what i'm saying so i feel like i end up saying sorry a lot for the sake of a more telling story though just like ryan this wasn't recent at all but i don't know why i got brought back to this memory it was like 2011. i had just gotten no 2009 or 10 or something like that i just quit my job 2010 there it is i just quit my sales job right uh and i didn't know what i was doing i i just hated my sales job i walked out on my manager it wasn't some two weeks notice thing it didn't have anything lined up afterwards
17:44 i was living in riverside at the time and then i remember just calling my sister and i was you know tearing up too because i was like i thought i was a failure you know uh i i had gone to college but nothing ████ amounted to anything i got to move back home and born a part to my parents house and then my boy hires me oh i i talked to him he's been a big brother to me uh for a long time and he ends up hiring me for his tech company right uh which is like uh internet telephony type stuff like vonage back in the day voice over ip stuff and he spends a month training me right i'm like ████ nowhere supposed to be near the tech industry but he trains me to like handle tech support for his company for customer and he like gives me good pay he's like taking me out to lunch i'm staying at his house you know what i mean he's like putting me on my feet again and then in like a month and a half i end up getting recruited for this other
18:34 job that's like way more my lane i ended up working for the street clothing company as a marketing sales director um and it was like a poacher or anything but you know he was like oh like you're available and i was like this is way cooler this is more like what i should be doing i was like opportunity is flourishing for me you know this is the the reason why i quit my job but i didn't think to myself that this guy put so much energy in time now yeah you're an entitled child yeah well i don't know about child but thank you um you can apologize later um and then he he sits me down for like one last lunch and he's just you know he has to and it's so hard to keep it real with the homie too you know what i mean he's just like i just want to let you know that like i feel jolted i obviously want to support you that's why i like willingly gave you this position and stuff but i feel jolted by it you know and i had to like actually check myself and not think just for myself in that moment but like what somebody was wanting to do for me so i had to like look at big brother and i like i let him
19:24 down even though i was like trying to progress my life and be like yo i'm i'm super sorry you know that i didn't realize that stuff and i feel like that changed a lot about the way that i saw um not just like opportunity but like opportunity relative to like people that you give it to or that you receive it from so what did you do to give it back i made sure i smashed at the next job you know what i mean but and we've been boys ever since and that's cool i think it's just important to know that like when you can sit down with those hard conversations and get through a tough time yeah like the good times aren't even better you know what i mean so it's just like being able to stick through it and still maintain relationships even though like you know you go through something tough so and after that hardship he became like one of my best friends ever you know so yeah it it's like if you can apologize and they can you can forgive and you can move on i think it strengthens the
20:15 relationship because you don't hold resentment i think that's the whole key to like you know just relationships in general like whether it's just friendships or lovers he was also my lover you
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