0:00 I'll just the whole time [Laughter] [Music] episode of scored stories today we got Tim wow wow hey [Applause] what's up everybody what up Tim how you guys feeling today good wonderful I have a beautiful story to tell you today oh please do I've told the story a few times on different podcasts and things but today we're going to do it with a keyboard yeah never like this so I know uh we've all been 21.
0:53 excited for life you got so many things that you've never experienced before you just want to live life so one time me and the homies all 21. that's dangerous fresh Young broke we decided we gonna go to Las Vegas oh yeah I lived there so you know we uh we didn't have a whole lot of money but we got a sweet ass room at the luxurious Luxor [Music] it was a special deal oh special deal because look we got a room with a hot tub in it oh
1:44 for all the dudes for all the dudes it was four of us me Ricky Shucks PD flow superego my homies and we thought we gonna get some ████ this weekend so the whole weekend we're just trying to game up different girls trying to get numbers trying to get some ass right to no avail no luck everything was a fail and then one time we were at the pool talking to these girls still a fail the last night [Music] and imma get a girl to the room tonight
2:36 now mind you we're very broke I'm talking about eating McDonald's every day double cheeseburgers wow [Laughter] make chickens the spicy McChickens too but for a dollar we had no money but tonight I was like imma get some ass imma get it to the hotel room and I'ma smash something in Vegas because we were feeling ourselves you know what I'm saying I was young I was stupid I didn't know how to dress I went to Vegas with uh some polka dot Vans matching polka dot tie some ████ plastic sunglasses with the white outside thinking I was flat first movement yes [Music] yeah like a G6
3:29 but it wasn't working anyways last night we're horny I'm walking around the casino trying to find a girl to talk to wow I see the sexy ass asian girl at the slots by herself by herself I'm like you know what I'm gonna talk to this girl so I see her I'm by myself I'm like looking I'm like what am I gonna say what am I gonna say what am I gonna say I get it together I'm in my head I walk up to her real smooth real smooth I'm like hey you uh winning anything tonight [Laughter] it's like it's all right I'm like okay well look man um if you're bored you got nothing to do tonight got a little hotel suite we gotta like we got alcohol let me know if you want to
4:19 come through she's just kind of like playing her slots she's like okay yeah I can do that like oh sick I'm like okay cool she's like okay cool let me get your number she gets my number cool she's like all right I'll text you I'll call you like all right cool I go back to the room the homies are chilling I'm like guess what I got a girl coming to the room they're like no yeah yeah jump I capture the flag they're like yo no way I'm like yes this girl's coming to the room but then I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm cleaning up I'm cleaning up thinking she's gonna come through it's ████ hour and a half goes by she doesn't come through yet I'm like ████ is she gonna come through the homies are like nah she's not going through then I get a call yes
5:09 I'm like yeah um what's up she's like okay you still want to come by I'm like yeah of course girl she's like of course stupid of course you idiot she's like are you gonna take care of me I'm like confused but I'm like girl you know I'm gonna take care of you of course so I'm like oh yeah I got you we hang up so I tell the homies I'm like yo she's coming through but she said am I gonna take care of her that's kind of weird everyone's like hmm then I realized oh ████ is she a prostitute oh she might be a prostitute but I'm like ████ it we'll see what happens I tell her to come through she's like meet me downstairs at the elevator I go downstairs two guys walk her to me oh
6:00 she she comes with me I'm thinking oh maybe it's older maybe the brothers the homies whatever uncles uncles so cool we get in the elevator she comes to the room with the two dudes no no no it's just her the dudes walking the elevator it's just me and her we're talking making small talk come into the room mind you it's one room with with three guys with three guys two beds in a hot tub we come into the room for some reason my friends did not leave the room why because they're stupid they're in the hot tub my boy superego they're in the hot tub my boy Superior goes in the hot tub with bubbles on his face like a beard what they're all chilling in the hot tub get out of there so I'm like hey girl I'm like you want me to make you a drink or something like that she's like okay she comes to the little area where we
6:50 have our drinks I make her a little ████ Smirnoff vodka and whatever the fly roller yeah uh I'm balling right so I pour her drink we're sipping and I'm like can I ask you a question she's like what's up I'm like hey are you here cause you like want to hang out or are you looking to get compensated she's like um first of all look I'm an Entertainer I'm like um I like those words so in my head I'm like okay well let me see what's um how much she's she doesn't let me stop you right there we first of all we don't talk like that oh so what what are we what are we doing she's like well let me ask you this how much do you have
7:42 I'm like whoa all right I'm like well check me out check me out check me out I we got this hotel suite with the hot tub we bought all these bottles of Smirnoff so ████ nothing [Laughter] so she's like okay okay well it was nice meeting you oh I'm like cool cool I'm like here I'll walk you out we walk past all the homies in the hot tub I walk her to the door uh and I I close the door but then I'm still gonna walk around but I lean back to the homies I'm like yo so as I'm walking around ████ Rick mind you we're 21. Rick is very excited
8:34 that I was just with a prostitute so as I'm walking her down the hallway Rick opens the door he's like yo prostitutes are the ████ oh ████ why I don't know we were young We Were Young we were 21. we never dealt with processes before and I mean now we love process I'm just kidding so so she's like well that was mature of him I walked into the elevator said bye she's like hey thanks you didn't have to walk me that was nice of you I'm like it's cool man hey do your thing go back to the room but gentleman I'm a gentleman go back to the room and uh you guys all jacked off we all jacked each other off and that was that was the end good night [Laughter]
9:24 and that's the story can we scrounge up some money and maybe we could share we literally had no money we were literally eating double cheeseburgers all weekend why did they stay in the room with only one girl this is just young young man ████ I I even like in the moment I wasn't like what the ████ y'all still doing here yeah I was just all right guys what's up I'm gonna go talk to her and over here now and then freak out that she came into a room full of three four Dudes I don't know what's she thinking I'm gonna make four times the month probably it's Vegas you know oh but here's the thing get back on the keyboards here's a click here's the kicker oh ████ ████ years the Marvel yeah years ████ later years later some guy I forget how Rick was talking
10:14 to him but like Rick was like hey no this guy's like hey you know what's funny is um your boy Tim tried you know he took one of my girls to his room so the ████ pimp was talking to Rick years later about some other ████ was like yeah you know yeah Tim he this ████ recognized me at the at the elevator and didn't say ████ he was a fan he should have gave you a free deal what the heck you want a youtubing already back then yeah yeah and he recognized you to do nothing yeah what a s█████ pimp yeah what the heck you could have got a sponsorship I guess I could have got a free a free over the pants handy at least over the pan I'm still hype on ████ Rick I'm not going prostitutes other ████ yeah man we were babies real mature that's a ████ t-shirt
11:06 curious what would have happened if she's like yeah I'm here to entertain and um all four of you guys oh God just had our digs out yeah but that's the night I learned that if you see a girl just hanging out by herself at the slot machines like 2 A.M she's probably a prostitute in Vegas oh yeah I like how she controlled it though she was like we don't talk like that yeah she's like hold on no uh that's you're gonna legally we can't say that but interesting oh at my Vegas prostitutes you don't say how much okay you don't say this is a transaction you say how much you have and we'll see where we go from there from zero to ten what was she was she like a 10 well she's like she was pretty bro she's like uh I was like an eight wow very like you know I like
11:56 all types of different women but she was a slender pretty Asian girl in like a dress like a Sasha Singleton Singleton or more of a oh that's the great one yeah I don't know who that is but um let's see in terms of like import models it's physically like Elizabeth Tran I would say she's an import chick she's like a Jerry Lee she just got married but shout out to her congrats on the marriage but visibly that's how as we're using her as a scale hey congratulations for a prostitute he met at 21. is she like a Magic Cube I don't know either she was in a mission impossible three Maggie Q like a Michelle you know they're like Maggie she's like a child damn that's a crazy ass story though that's tight yeah yeah nice like I mean
12:47 now I could totally afford a bras too but yeah yeah that's what's up yeah I go for you man that's tight I never got one in America I was like it's not how much I have how many homies do you have you better bring it yeah other chicks another question you never you never was said do you have any friends that would like to come hang out and party with us for my friends at this point I knew I couldn't even afford one so I was like what was the point no before you knew she was a hooker oh you're just like just hey let's do you have friends come Park I'll be according to the store he knew she was a hooker the whole time uh no he didn't know till later back then it was like I was so focused on just trying to get some ass before we left Vegas and I was like and you're thinking only buyers yeah bro [Laughter] bro code was when you pick up a girl and you have ████ lonely ass friends you
13:38 say do you have any friends I wasn't trying to push my luck dog but also yeah when you're 21 you can't wait to go around the corner go oh yeah that's true that's true yeah I was just praying that she was gonna ████ use my number and text me you know that's funny especially if she was hot that's why it's not easy to get a date these days these days you just get a hooker I remember one time we're in Vegas you know Rick Rick had a shirt on they said I love hot moms we're going down the escalator this older white chick was like I'm and we were like yeah yeah you learned a lot of ████ you know he could have got some hot mom he could have yeah she could have that day
14:30 especially yeah I never got laid in Vegas only the girls that I brought there yeah oh yeah no actually I did oh my God I did that's all right next one next up hit the keys end credits oh my God [Music]
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