0:00 Why do you guys think it's so hard for dudes to open up? So, we're gonna watch this video and we're going to talk about it. >> Hey, what are you doing? I came out to check on you. >> Huh? >> What are you doing? That's where we're working. >> I'm looking at this. >> What is it? >> It's It's wire. It's a spool of wire. And I'm almost out of it. Can you see the spool of wire? >> Mhm. >> I'm almost out of it. Okay. >> And I've had this spool of wire for like 40 years. I bought it like this a long It's on a piece of a long time ago, but it's like 40 years of my life is in the wire that's gone. Does that make sense? This is what's left. >> Does that make sense? >> I'm sorry to hear that and sad for you,
0:50 but you're wearing your Jets hat and I'm a little concerned right now that you're wearing your Jets hat. I thought that's why you were crying. >> Okay, I'm done. >> Whoa. What the hell? >> It's the Jets, bro. She got to dig in with about the Jets. Even >> feels like there's so much to unpack in this video. Like, what the hell's going He's So, she recognized he was crying. >> He's like emotional. Yeah. >> And so, she approaches like, "Okay, what's going on?" >> She walks him record up to him recording. >> Yeah. >> And she's she like no one dot dot dot my husband like as if it's a meme like of him him being stupid basically. >> Wow. Yeah. >> Well, in his specific case, he doesn't open up cuz his wife's a ████ >> Yeah. >> Right. >> Yeah. >> Right. >> Yeah. She sounds like an ████ dude. >> Cuz she's He's like opening up in the way that he knows how. >> Yes. >> And he's sentimental. 40 years is >> That's valid. That's a That's a valid
1:40 moment that happens in your life. >> Yeah. He's like like I don't know too many dudes that even have things that are 40 years old. So, as as worthless as it may seem to her, that's crazy for him. And then he he pours his heart out in the way that he knows how. And then she just goes, >> "Why you wearing the Jets hat?" [laughter] >> Like, "What the ████ I'm a robot and I I registered all that." >> That's crazy. Why does she hate him so much? >> I think she just doesn't She's not listening to him clearly. >> Yeah, she just isn't listening. >> Like, she just thinks that he's being stupid. >> But it's got to come from a ████ mean place, though. >> Yeah, I think so. Yeah, for sure. >> I don't know. Have you guys ever dated like any ████ like this where you're like, "What the ████ is wrong with you?" >> I don't think a total ████ is like this. I Oh, I think you find out that they're ████ later on >> cuz they're not like that when you when you first date them. What's also your
2:31 fault when you're infatuated, too. >> Like you they can't do no wrong in the beginning and you don't even see it, but it's on you to like once that calms down, the honeymoon phase is over, you're like, "Oh, this person just isn't nice to me." >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? I also just think that we're not supposed to complain like as men like we're not allowed to complain kind of like I I was definitely raised that way >> and so like when I I'm guilty of this like when I hear dudes complaining I'm like shut the ████ up you're a dude like shut up but like I think that's also kind of ████ up that I think that. >> Yeah. Well, I mean in in a moment like this it sucks to let it go you know >> when your husband just like said something that he's you know having like an existential like situation. >> Yeah. Or even just an appreciation I think. Uh or just like a gratefulness, you know, like you're just going to glaze over it and be like, "Why you wearing a jet hat?" Like, "Oh my god."
3:21 >> Yeah. Like I think I grew up in the like guys don't complain either. And like cuz if you complain, you're gay. >> Yeah. Exactly. >> But if I see how someone is taking it, I do try to like get at their level. So if some for for example if like let's say we all work at a corporate office and like they get us free coffees or whatever and then someone is like every time the coffee comes and it's ████ cold or whatever I'm like dude this guy's so ████ gay complaining all the ████ time right >> but if uh one day sitting this this coffee is ████ cold and he starts like actually like tearing up or whatever I'd be like yo what's going on today cuz I would I would I think not listen to the words and go there's something way deeper >> and try to like So that part is crazy where you see hear your husband crying and you bring the phone out. That's
4:12 pretty crazy. >> Clown on him. >> Yeah, that's pretty nuts, I think. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. But there are some ████ up people out there in general or like so like you know how some um girls be like, "Oh, guys like be more emotional, right?" And then um I guess that's where kind of like what you were talking about is like and then when you become emotional, you're like, "Yeah." >> Yeah. >> I know that part's ████ up. >> I've never thought it was correct advice. where they go, "Can you be more emotional?" >> No, I never think that's correct. >> What do you think you're supposed to do with that? >> Well, because I think that's true that they feel that way, but I think it's on their timing. >> I don't think it means I don't think it means across the board you can say whatever you want anytime. I think like it's to that woman's timing. So, it's when she feels like this is when you should be emotional. You have to find what she's talking about. It's not you can be emotional on your time. Yeah.
5:02 >> How did you think it's ever that way? >> When did you learn >> this genius piece of information [laughter] specifically? >> I don't know. I just that's all I always assumed >> cuz I feel like guys spend a lifetime trying to learn that cuz I feel like >> what I would see would probably be like I'm wish emotional whatever, right? And I could totally see like a guy looking through a yearbook and go [laughter] >> and the girls like >> you're ████ gay. >> And then you're like, "What the ████ I thought you wanted me to be more emotional. >> Because if you think about opening that box, like let's say that that your wife or or or your ex is telling you like, "No, be more emotional." Well, you know what that entails? That includes things that she does that make you emotional in a negative way. She's not talking about opening that up, but that's probably majority of what you feel. >> I don't think ████ want us to be emotional. I think that they just want us to be like honest. But you don't, if
5:53 you're a pouty little boy about anything, I think they hate it. I think they're asking you to be they're asking you to be emotional in their favor. They're not asking you to be like, "Oh, cry about what you don't like about me." >> Like, be emotionally be emotionally available to me. I think is what they're saying. >> Yeah. Which is I understand that, but I I think most women also don't know how to express that and can't cuz it's ████ up to say that, right? It's ████ up to be like, "Hey, be more emotional when I say, >> dude." I remember in the '9s, like late '9s, I was in high school, I think, or no, I was barely in high school, and we were watching Schindler's List, and there was this chick next to me in class who I really liked, and I had a huge crush on her and stuff. And I remember this was during like the guy should be more emotional like era. >> Uhhuh. >> And uh so during Schindler's List, I just kept my eyes open without blinking for as long as I could to start getting my eyes watery. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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8:28 non-withdrawable reward redeemable terms at dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer nationwide based on sportsbook predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability. Varies by state. >> It's pretty embarrassing. Yeah, >> you tried to channel Holocaust empathy. >> I did. It's pretty bad. Yeah, >> that is really funny. Well, that's you know what? That's that's very common. Most guys are only emotional to appease some form of like satisfaction in a woman. >> Yeah. Cuz I was I was doing it to because I wanted her to see me doing it. >> 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's performative. Yeah. [laughter] It's performative, right? Yeah. I understand that. >> But at least I was a teenager and not like a grown man. >> Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. Do you think for guys it's a societal thing to not be
9:18 emotional or do you think it's like innately in us to not be emotional? >> I think it's a spectrum because some guys um h have the self-awareness much earlier in life. So they start to like >> express it. >> They're expressing it. Well, I don't know. There's a difference of like culture too. Like are you allowed to express it? >> Oh, true. Yeah. and then and then it's a skill to like have a mirror to yourself and know like what's going on and develop that. But I also think that there's there's a level of being oblivious and not understanding and then women are like why don't you just ████ open and you're like there's nothing to open cuz you're not even registering it. So you have to first recognize what's going on and then describe it. And I think that's where a lot of ████ gets mixed where like they take guy behavior as reluctancy, not
10:09 like ignorance. >> Or on the other end of the spectrum and guys, you got to stop doing this ████ It there's cats who will be they only open up all the ████ time. And they're the guys who say, "I've never had a girlfriend." And you're like, [laughter] "Bro, shut the ████ up. Stop saying that over and over and over again. It makes it makes nobody want to ████ you ever." >> Yeah. And you know, another thing is that what like when some women don't understand what it truly looks like when guys are emotional. So like guys being emotional is not always what you think. >> Those dudes that are getting into ████ brawls all the time, those are emotional guys. >> You know what I mean? It's not just this guy that can cry at the right moment of notebook. That's not what it is. It's people that have no emotional control and they can't relegate or regulate themselves and they always blow up at everything like negative, positive, whatever. That's not good. Like I don't
11:00 think that's good. That's why I agree with stoicism to a limit. I'm like, yeah, you should be able to choose how you respond to things. Like, but a lot of people don't know what stoicism is. They they think that it's suppression of emotions. >> I think it's like deadness. >> No. No. >> But there's a difference of like recognizing it's there, but choosing not to react. >> Exactly. Being able to gauge is it worth it right now or not. Yeah. But then there's >> flip side too. I've noticed that um you know, immature girls would have zero empathy. So like there's a double standard of they want people to understand them but there's no labor in understanding how men think and how they express and accepting them for that versus like labeling and being like this is how you need to do it. You're not doing it right. And it's like what the ████ Like that's crazy. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's like the princess
11:50 effect, right? When their whole lives they're told that like no the world serves you. You're the you're the one on top. And then yeah, they're unable to love, but they just want so much love for them. Yeah, that's a curse, too. >> Unless you're a 10, that's going to be a problem. >> Then you all your jokes are funny. >> ████ yeah, dude. You're the funniest chick in the class. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> I think I'm part of the problem with all this ████ though, too, because I was raised to not to think that men who are emotionally available like that or emotionally giving a lot away about themselves, >> like an open book. >> Yeah. It's like don't you don't do that ████ >> Yeah. But I think that's a I think you you end up in a better spot when you're taught that your whole life cuz when you like to open up is easier than to like close those floodgates if you were just a little ████ for ████ 20 years. You know what I mean? It's harder to go backwards. I think it's easier to like learn how to like and plus by the time you're learning that you're learning it
12:40 for that specific partner. >> So it's better than you did it for everyone you dated. >> That's true. >> You might be a mess by the time you're 30, you No, I was definitely like I was a terrible boyfriend to this one chick because >> I would just ████ yell at her and ████ >> Yeah. >> And you just you just like when I remember those times I'm like I cannot believe I was ever like that. >> But like you're just so emotionally like uncertain of yourself that like you just fly off the wheel. >> Yeah, that's I had the same problem. >> People are saying like I want guys to be emotional. I think they're saying like EQ, right? So it's not just Yeah. uncontrollable expression, but it's more like self-awareness and understanding and being able to like selfreflect and explain that. >> Yeah. >> So, I'm like I could kind of That's just being a ████ adult though. >> Exactly. That's the thing. It's like just maturity, right? Like >> Well, also vulnerability is something I
13:32 heard that comes with it too. Uh, I think at least from like my relationship with Gio, she likes me not only handing over conclusions. She wants to be there for the process so that she feels like she's intimately with me, not just problem, solution, hey, solution. This is how I feel about my solution. That's not also being emotionally. >> She wants to do the scratch paper with you. >> Yes. >> To be there on the ride cuz she's your life partner. So, she wants to be there for the ride and be be vulnerable and go back and forth with you until you reach the conclusion. >> That makes a lot of sense, actually. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's that's not really like it's the same thing where if I had an issue, I'd be like, "Yo, I need to just like chill out by myself for a second and figure it out." That's not helpful in relationship. Nobody wants to see that. Yeah. >> Because you want to be on your team. >> Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. >> Yeah. I mean, that is a part of EQ
14:23 though, right? like you don't have to sort it all out on your own, but being able to like process that. I think that's probably what they're asking for, but a lot of people don't know how to They'll take a word and they don't know what that means and then they'll just do certain I don't know. There's just it's just a lot of stupidity. >> Yeah. I don't think people truly want an emotional guy. >> Oh, emotional guys are they're all in jail. >> Yeah. >> Or they're on Discord b███████ about their ████ lives. That's the guy who thinks it's like a smart decision to shoot somebody because they were disrespected. >> Yeah. >> But in this case, it's like, she's clearly a ████ dude. >> You married a ████ She's mean. >> Broke my heart the way he just like doesn't even argue and just gets up and walks away. [laughter] I'm like, dude, you're at the end of that. >> But then a lot of guys will take that
15:14 and say, see, that's why you never open up to women. No, you're with the right woman. She won't do that ████ with you. But then on the other end, there's a guy buying flowers for hookers. [laughter] >> Yeah. The perfect John. >> Oh my god, man. >> One day she'll turn around. She'll see how much I love her. >> Got her a diamond necklace. >> I know. [laughter] >> Yeah, dude. That's the perfect amount, I think. >> Yeah, I think so, too. >> He's just observing a milestone and he's he's finding value in it. That's cool. >> And he's he's a sad life. He's a Jets fan. >> [laughter] >> ████
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