0:00 thank you [Music] okay welcome back to another very special careful boys where we are currently I'm off the Record and today we are talking about something what was something that you were falsely accused of oh oh dude I have a really weird one yeah so um there was just one uh one of my ex's best friends she brought around this guy who was like a pathological liar who would just make up the weirdest ████ right and um I guess he kept lying to his girl about where he was and he would always tell her that he was with me so then I kept getting calls and like she would always be like what happened he said he was with you like where is he
0:51 like and she would believe him over me all the time so it was like so exhausting it got his lies got to the point where um she asked them like why are you always around this guy this is I was still like 18 at the time he told her that he was actually an undercover FBI agent and he was doing a sting operation on me because I'm a drug dealer wow oh so he said that so like no matter anything you said would already be destroyed Yeah the more the more interesting did she believe him yeah she told she told my ex that that's what he said and then my ex was like she didn't believe that she was just like what the hell is this guy I don't we were both like dude this guy's crazy that guy's craziest yeah he was just nuts was he 18 too yeah he was 18. 18 year old ████ wow
1:44 doing an undercover sting operation in high school Jump Street dude he's working with the F but he's a 12 year old genius he was like one of those um he was like one of those half white half asian like super pretty boy thugs like he gets away with a lot of things yeah so like he just says whatever the hell and he was like a hustler kind of mentality and was just one of those dudes and at that time like this hot sexy gangsters that's they were like oh don't they there was a guy am I really charismatic he was one of those dudes that got transferred there because he got kicked out right and then when he came in it was like all the chicks with that because all the chicks he doesn't even talk in the town instantly and you know what criminal you know what his ████ name was Roman oh my how ████ sexy is that that's my cousin's name yeah but it's a
2:36 sexy man it's ████ hot he was already off hot bro that's not fair it's already a hot sex y dude my parents know he was gonna be a ████ thing yeah bro man let's go both oh my god let's go let's go yeah half white half Filipino from Santa Nas and he had a shaved head so he looks sexy as ████ and then his name was Roman of course it's never been ████ around your male model Roman let's say Meanwhile my name is barf so like those be with that guys like that could tell girls anything they wanted in the bathroom I thought it was bored he got pretty privileged dude yeah dude that's insane right so whatever happened with that so did he bust you or what did he get this thing off did he catch you for your crack I never saw him again after he he
3:27 was basically like crashing at my place and my dad like was so pissed that he was there that get them out of here that's the guy that my dad ended up driving like all the way to Escondido or some ████ to like so that he would just be gone my dad killed the guy the guy's buried this we never saw him again maybe my dad I like to think that the FBI guy had do and then you're walking out of the bathroom and you're like oh I just got him down downstairs um yeah I know I I'm I'm I'm with I'm with the bureau Catch Me If You Can yeah dude don't take my whole ████ wallet that was crazy man I feel like everything I was accused of I was guilty of yeah like setting the
4:17 massage place on fire but you got accused of robbing some houses came out to be true yeah same here when you were robbing houses it's like what's like what are you looking for what's some good ████ honestly it was just for the thrill you know it wasn't like like there's people that are actually like scoping ████ out it would go to TV whatever like like casing out the house for me it was just like I just wanted to be there so like when like the older homies were like we're gonna go do this because it just felt so cool you know I'm like get to be away from this stupid Buddhist ████ mom like to be with ████ some cool guys doing some crime
5:10 that makes sense yeah it's true okay so uh in elementary school all right I've talked about this before but who knows a lot of new people I was uh pulled aside all of a sudden I was on safety patrol right and yeah with the orange vest and the clipboard orange vest yeah wow I was a cool kid I used to beat up nerds you sound like a nerd in the story about that no no that's not true I was the sickest kid there exactly so then um I got pulled aside one day and and they're like Hey Stephen you need they all call me Steven back then uh you need to come to the principal's office and I was like okay and so I get there and I'm expecting to get like a merit badge or some ████ an award helping kids cross the street all day but then they're like they're like hey um you're being accused of sexual harassment and I was like oh what the
6:02 ████ is that even me because I was so sheltered I didn't raise I didn't know much about sex stuff at all so then um they've they said that they found a letter that my neighbor had found in the Woods by our houses why yeah we all lived this place um in Virginia next to George Mason University where there's like a bunch of wooded area and then this chick like found a note in the woods and she's like yeah like I found this note in the woods it's kind of ████ up like Steve Green's talking about how like hey Courtney it was a chicken or neighborhood she was like she was like a nice girl in her neighborhood hey Courtney come to the woods tomorrow and like wear something tight and sexy and I was like I don't even know what no it does where's something Titans yeah eyes like
6:53 and they but they read the note to me and they're like you're going down she got you you son of a ████ where you're like I don't even know what that means Meanwhile your boner's just like I wish I wish but I was like was the paper written in crayon no it was yeah it was written in like in like s█████ ████ pencil was it even yourself I didn't write it I didn't know what the ████ this even was I didn't know what Titan sexy meant it was clearly written by somebody older than me like an older kid for sure it sounds like an adult so but they're like you're going down we got yourself a bit we're looking for you for all of 11 years so I was like all right so then my mom and dad get involved oh my God I got that oh bro they're trying to expel me from the school because they're like the sexual ration is crazy and I was just like so confused I didn't know what the
7:44 ████ was going on but then my sister my honest sister who I did ask to wear something tight and sexy my sister this is why she's so hot to me she went to every kid in my neighborhood and she had them write down ████ for her as writings she's such a nerd dude she started cross-reference and ████ I almost wanted to beat her ass because I'm saving Patrol we beat asses if you're being nerdy but then but then so so she was like getting all these writing samples and then she was just like she was like this isn't your writing and I already know that so like you're Innocent but I'm gonna find who ████ did this ████ and then I'm gonna suck your dick while we take them again I remember like it was just
8:38 has your sister ever seen Eddie Jacob no I I will start I'd be too flattered to know that she's watching I'd be so funny dude you're taking him back he's so flattered to those who's working like I got married I moved on so uh so no so she she's like hunting neighborhood and I think that the squeeze that my sister's putting on all the kids in my neighborhood was enough where the chick who found no go figure comes to my door knocks on the door and apologizes with tears in her eyes and like I wrote the no I'm sorry I had a crush on you yeah exactly she had a crush on a good way of admitting she had a crush on me but why would she cause that noise I don't know kids are ████ nuts
9:28 that's true but she's older than me wow but the adults that said adults that said you're going down they're ████ dumb dude I know exactly dude these are that's that's why adults in schools are the most dumb ████ people ever like the way that they over accept what kids say is so ████ dumb dude Steve Green you're kind of a stud bro hey y'all today's video is brought to you by Warby Parker Warby Parker offers you everything that you need for happier eyes eyeglasses sunglasses contact lenses and even eye exams and you can shop with them online or in stores glasses start at 95 including prescription lenses try Warby Parker's free home try on program order five pairs of glasses to try on at home for free and there's no obligation to buy ships free and includes a prepaid
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11:10 you can try all these on so you can go which ones make me look ugly which one makes me look handsome and you can keep the ones that make you look handsome and you can tell them your prescription and they can send you the glasses with your prescription while you look smart you look like you're about to ride a motorcycle or something a cafe racer I thought I looked like one of those guys that play piano but can't see the keys oh so try five pairs of glasses at home for free just go ahead and go to warbyporker.com off the Record yeah you're kind of a stud dude everyone thinks I got a big old dick but like my dick hasn't grown since that eight how many of them it's been big he was off balance all the time big from that time he's stepping on his dick all the time dude no so so that was ████
12:01 crazy because that was my first brush with like people can really say everyone can just assume that you did something wrong and by the way yeah like on it and being honest right now like I was really sad about this because when I went to safety patrol which I really liked a lot because I thought I was helping people which is ████ stupid and I agree um for a little kid here the way that they treated me it hurt me so much yeah to know that like something that I really cared about like um like being safety patrol yeah like I just you know I thought that was like part of like you know I'm gonna help people and ████ you're no I'm being honest I'm being honest that's crazy I'm being honest at the age I know she's talking about that sucks dude but that's why you ████ hate Authority like I do man I don't believe people anymore yeah because because I it happened to me so after all that went down
12:51 what happened with the school apologies nothing nothing no apologies nothing nothing just skirt under the rug they didn't do anything no principle apologies to me the people who are accusing me instead of going down and they did say that I'm not exaggerating it's like we got you man yeah they're trying to get a confession yeah they didn't say you're going down but they were trying to scare the ████ out of me I didn't know what was going on I just genuinely would how old were you again I was like I was like 10 11 years old that's crazy you don't forget that you don't forget and and um yeah I always so yeah anytime anyone's accused of anything I I think maybe many of you have noticed I I I'm very skeptical because that happened to me and so you know you just don't forget ████ like that especially how quick that could be weaponized right oh yeah and how quick everyone just just buys it oh we got a note that says Steve Green wrote it why
13:41 would I write why would some ████ stupid kid write something like that and then like like oh I'm gonna name on it because I'm an idiot like it's so weird and then buried in the woods and then some chick finds it in the woods and then she takes to the school or like her or someone someone one of her friends takes it to school but it's like it could also be because right before that there's another kid that goes to a teacher with the long pink balloon I was like you like this Mr Dilly and then so the teacher is like you're going to the office sexual harassment and Steve with the note you're going to the office yeah so you just get dumped because of this other yeah you never know you never know what and what people are going through I don't know but sir dillian that is really said that that many adults in a row are all idiots yeah they all that's always what I felt though like about the school system they're like this 10 year
14:32 old kids yeah yeah and you have no priors nothing I didn't even know what that meant I didn't even know what it meant to wear something tight and sexy I didn't know what that even was about like what would you wear something tight and sexy what does it have to do with anything but now you do though no now I get why she wrote it and I get why she wrote it because she didn't have anything Titan sexy to go with it ████ what happened to that girl I'm Petty [Laughter] she's killed by icicle cool because everyone there is gullible ████
15:24 the first thing that they hear your sister's like Lisa Simpson she is honestly smart and she'll like imagine Lisa Simpson but with like triple D tits ah wow damn and like a little less yellow but she's still like a little bit yeah I mean she's pretty white so your sister's dope for that though man she's the best she's a gangster dope I don't deserve because you had like one person fighting on your side she knew she knew she interrogated me and she smoked and she smoked her out basically and she said she's smoking hot and what about your parents what did they do the whole time were they just like this is some stupid ass kids we gotta go work yeah so you're out of jail no my mom was very weirded out by it all yeah yeah and it's left field my dad had nothing to do with
16:14 it he was just like on another planet he's like tight and sexy huh well he was dealing with his own ████ I found out later but like I think I would have been laughing too hard like for too long and then I would have been mad at the teachers for the way that they handled the situation and I would have probably lectured them all after that I laughed at you the whole day yeah thank you after that I never did anything with like safety patrol or school and you're like ████ no from that moment on you're like ████ authority authority that's exactly what happened yeah do they take it away from you no no I actually threw it into a lake I threw a towards like you imagine you're ████ you're ████ airplane you had to pick it up yeah they're not
17:05 Aaron did there so I kept on going like that and then hit the ground what about your Ribbon the LA ████ the big lit ribbon that goes yeah that yeah that I just rolled up and all the kids came up to the next week to like Steve what happened you're not safety patrol anymore and I was like I'm done with that I'm done I'm done no apology like to the student body or anything to like exonerate you so for them rumors and ████ damn damn ████ Virginia that's a pretty crazy story for uh such a young man that was in the 90s bro yeah you could have had a sex offender thing on your I guess yeah but I'm with you Brad I got your back you could your life could have been ruined accusation you know what's pretty funny
17:56 when when you do do a lot of bad ████ sometimes you would do a lot of sexual harassment but like but like the the ironic thing is the kids who are constantly doing bad ████ when they're falsely accused they get so mad yeah because they're like no I really didn't do this one yeah but like they're always doing that ████ but then internet body language expert so like he's lashing out a lot I think he's very guilty yeah right even though they're like constantly guilty it's funny to falsely accuse someone that's always doing wrong extra mad because it's like this time I didn't can you actually catch me when I steal a car that was me I was I pretty much lived in the principal's office you were there more than he was huh yeah I was always yeah probably I was always there and then when they accused me I was like that was me [Laughter]
18:49 I'm trying to think of the time where I was wrong I was I was accused on like for the correct things and they were right like when I got in trouble for the ████ when I somehow I don't know how I convinced these kids to do this ████ but we I convinced them to jump off the swings remember that thing I told you guys like I was so fun to jump off the swings you know when you like you teach kids to jump off the switch for the first time but the only reason we did it was we've been teaching them jump on the swing so that when they're in the air you run up and you kick them in the nuts as they left because they're like wow so you have to time it and just run and just go and then they were like the the principal is like I have reports that you were uh you're kicking some some boys and and I was like yeah I was that's absolutely brutal when I taught improv we did the opposite to to build trust
19:39 dude you were doing jackass before it was even great like kicking third graders nuts and then they were like the principal's like um he's like I'm not gonna tell your parents but I will I do have to tell you this one thing he was like you can kick you can kick a boy there and prevent him from having children the rest of his life and then I went I wasn't trying to do that he's just trying to be like America's Funniest Home Videos [Laughter] damn or even like guys that don't really know how to pogo stick oh I'm like why you get out and there's like one point they
20:29 just ████ crack their nuts oh nothing's better than the old Asian guys doing Kung Fu practicing hella hard while getting it by the way that's a great gif it's all the one oh of you yeah how can you punching my dick ████ ████ yeah man
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