0:00 [Music] Welcome back to Careful Boys. Today we're talking about our most vulnerable dating moments. >> ████ >> When times are the most vulnerable on a date. >> Vulnerable in what way? >> Just like Yeah, I got a good one. This is when me and Tiff first started dating. So, you're trying to, you know, you want to be your best. You want to look like an ████ And uh we had this is when boiling crab was a big deal where you get the big old like buckets of shrimp, >> the whole butter, you get the whole shebang. >> So we just finished eating. She didn't like it that much. That was great. >> What? >> And uh I'm driving home and I'm like, "Yo, I'm going to ████ my pants any second now." And it's getting to the point where you start panicking and
0:50 freaking out. You're sweating. Your butt crack is sweating. and she's seeing me like real time like panic, you know, and I'm like, "F███, I have to I have to pull into this in-n-out." And the way I was acting, it wasn't the fact that I had to poop. It was the way I was acting like, "F███, we got to go. We got to go." And like >> like a bomb strapped to your chest. >> Wow. >> And that's probably one of the first times you see someone being like, >> "Yeah, speak up." >> Talking code or where you were like, "Hey, I got a s███." Yeah, it was like it was like I gotta I gotta take a ████ But it was like I was so frantic and I was so like I don't know if I'm gonna make it. I'm not gonna ████ make it. It's like that kind of conversation. >> You think she was like driving like you just robbed the bank and she's trying to get away. >> No, she was the driver or what? >> It just felt No, I was driving. It was just It just felt so embarrassing cuz I'm driving one like a maniac, right? So
1:42 when you're a girl in the passenger seat, that's not that fun. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so and I pull into this In-N-Out. I ████ do my business and then as soon as I come back out I'm like a new man. I'm like completely different. >> Yeah. >> Starts moonwalking out. >> You got a comb over now. >> It's like Spider-Man when he turns emo >> starts on the light posts. >> Hey. >> Hey baby. >> And I'm trying to pretend like nothing happened. But then you know she starts busting a ████ gut. And at that moment I'm so worried. I'm like dude she's never going to look at me the same ever again. It's ruined cuz it's like way too early. >> I feel like that's kind of reverse thing though. Like dudes and it was >> well dudes highly judge girls for all that >> like s████ and farts and whatever but I feel like they already think we're gross. They do. So it just doesn't matter and they're right. Yeah. >> She's like I have a dad. I know what this is like. >> And I've seen this many times before.
2:33 >> I don't care if girls ████ and fart >> at all. You've been married too long. >> You've been married too long. >> You're literally nuts. >> What? >> You're nuts. >> Yeah. You're married too long. >> Just even when I was like in high school, I didn't care if they ████ and fart. A girl you're highly girl you're highly attracted to just goes. You're not looking at her crazy care about that. >> But you want them to be a little koi, though. That's the thing. I think you open. It's like, yo, you're nuts. I think >> you're crazy. >> Bart's like, "Rip ass in my face." >> Part of my mouth to tell me you love me. It would just make you laugh. >> I think that would make I think it would make me laugh. But if she owned it like a lesbian, then I'd be like, "That's weird. >> That's what we're talking about." >> Yeah, that's what we're talking about. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Oh, go yeah. Yeah. No, that's weird. That's weird. >> Even switch it with Nick and she's in that spot. I want her to be like, "Yeah, my stomach's a little Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Could you hurry up? My stomach's off. I want her to talk like that. >> You got to get to the ████ restaurant like that. Yeah. Yeah. Like that is crazy.
3:23 >> I don't want to hear I don't want to hear like I got a ████ >> Right. Right. >> I don't want to hear >> I got to make a dump. >> Yeah. A dump. >> I don't want to know. >> I got a tummy a. >> Yeah. >> Food food's not settling. >> You're okay with a girl like farting and ████ but you you dumped that girl cuz she got a C or something and thought >> a C was good. Oh, >> whoa, you got low standards. >> Hey, you can fart all you want, but if you get a C, ████ that. >> Yeah, you be farting your way to junior college. >> Hilarious. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. He said he wanted to watch Gio ████ cuz it'll make them feel closer. >> Oh, really? >> Seen her ████ before. >> Still. >> She'll never show you that. >> No, she'll never. >> No, I don't know. >> And she shouldn't. >> Really? >> I do that to >> I don't think it's going to enhance
4:13 anything. Actually, >> I think maybe ing people's young. Dude, >> stop policing people's young. >> Maybe when we're harm, >> maybe when we're 50, >> open a new chapter in the relationship. >> So, she won't even ████ like around you at all. >> Like, you can't walk through the bathroom. >> Well, she kicks me out of the room. She's going to have to do something. >> But your house is so big, she could ████ in nine toilets. >> Yeah, >> she's in the north sector wing. Me and Nikki were staying at um I don't know this thing called Z hotels. We were in the UK like like late last year, right? And we were in the smallest room I've ever seen. It was like so small that I couldn't even like lay my suitcase down cuz like they just had like that bed >> so tight bed a lot of their hotels and it's not even a king size. >> Their standards are full. So it's imagine the full size and you're like
5:04 what the ████ >> They have a shower where if you open the door it hits the toilet. So you can't open the shower door. You have to like keep it closed. It's crazy. So, um, I'm in there with Nikki and I have to go for sure, right? And I'm like, "Oh s███." I'm like, "I got to figure out where I'm going to go." I'm like, "I'm just going to go to the street and find a bathroom around here cuz I'm not going like literally I'd be going next to her head cuz like the the toilet's here and then the there's like this little glassed wall and then there's the freaking bed." So, I'm like, I'm not going in here, dude. I'd rather I'd rather ████ on the stairs of this. >> So, yeah, that's what I did. I went and found a toilet. I went to some like Indian restaurant and absolutely dropped it. Absolutely ████ >> helpful when the lobby when the lobby has a bathroom. >> I was like, you guys got to stop feeding me this ████ >> All this Indian food is messing me up. >> All this beans on toast is ████
5:55 >> Yeah. Come on, man. I was like, you guys got to clean your bathrooms, dude. So sad. >> Does that work? >> Oh, I was just saying it's helpful when the lobby of the hotel also has a bathroom. >> And then if I know I'm going to blow it up, I have shame, too. might be surprising to you guys. I'm like, "Hey, it's about to get crazy. I'mma go downstairs. I'mma go downstairs." >> Yeah. See, >> it's about to be turbo time. >> Vulnerable time you're in a relationship is when you had to ████ yourself. >> That's the most vulnerable, >> dude. That's That's one of them. But that was early though. That was like early when we were like first dating where really me >> cuz you feel like you blew it. >> Yeah. Make or break. Yeah. You're like, "Bro." But it wasn't the fact that I had to poop. It was the way I was acting to go poop. Like that's the big problem. >> You're acting like a little baby who has to >> I got to go. I got to go. I got to go. >> Overalls. >> Pain and desperation, man.
6:46 >> We've been there. >> They're trying to get the the overall strap off. >> Yeah. >> I was in the Miata, so I was like, bro, >> it's just two seats. >> Good thing you got that engine. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I go fast. >> Guy that has to put like two layers of that seat cover thing. Come on, dude. >> That's me. >> I don't do that ████ >> That's me. >> You don't do none of that, huh? >> What do you do? Just ████ have someone else's >> I wipe it. I clean it. >> Yeah. And then I go, >> "Dude, I >> And then I go shower at home." >> I do exactly >> do exactly what you're saying, but like my legs are shaking. I'm like I'm grabbing that. Okay, deep breath. Please, please go to the nearest massage place. Get a table shower. >> Go to a case spot. >> Do you see? Did it come off the top? >> Did it come out the top of the jeans? >> Holy cow. But in my head, like as we're going through that, after I finished my business, as I was walking back to my
7:37 car, I was like, I'm done. >> I gotta move, man. >> I will never eat. I will never eat in front of her. >> For schools, >> I got to move to a different city, dude. >> Closer to her after like it's >> 100%. And that was one, like you said, like one of those make or break moments where you're like, whoa, she actually likes me for who I am. Wow. Yeah, that was high school. >> Yeah, >> I feel like that is way elevated in high school. >> Oh yeah. >> You know, like your mind is going. >> Everything matters too, man. >> That actually might have been like our first year in college actually. >> Yeah. Even still like below 25, bro. It just means so much now. >> Yeah. >> I'm supposed to have things figured out >> cuz in high school when you're like when you got a ████ like you put the timer on cuz you're like I don't want them know I'm taking a ████ Like I just want them to think I'm peeing and ████ And then you ████ leave and you're just like,
8:28 man, I swear I got like two more dookies in there. But I just squeezed it out. >> Yeah. Let a couple hours. >> Now I'm just like, I'mma be completely relaxed. >> It is more normal now cuz people got cell phone games and social media. You just be sitting on that toilet. Everyone be sitting half an hour. >> Dudes will be peeing, sitting down just to play games, >> dude. ████ is ████ is on the toilet doing all kinds of stuff. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Checking Facebook. Yeah. Zillow. All that. Zillow for sure. >> All that ████ >> Always on Zillow. >> Yeah. >> Catch Tiff. She's always on ████ Zillow, bro. >> Really? >> Yeah. She's on Zillow. She's looking at >> she's she's scouring for like >> vintage on like eBay. >> That's her new one. >> When she's dumping probably, >> dude. Nikki just bought an armwire. It just shows up at the door. I didn't even know about it. >> What is that? >> She bought like a gigantic ████ gigantic thing. >> It's like a treasure. >> Yeah. And she's like I was like we got a she's like I'm go pick up the go get the
9:18 package honey. I hear honey. I'm like what? I like there's a heavy thing outside. And so I open the door like just the box is taller than me. And I take it inside. It's like a piano dude. It's crazy. And then and then she's she's just like I'm like what is this for? >> Like what is this for? We have so much of this stuff. She's like I don't like I don't like that the games are on the are on the ground next to the couch. >> So to to put like these little boxes of games that we have like Pictionary and all the stupid games that everyone has, right? She bought a gigantic armor for these ████ are bored. >> Wait, so it's a credenza? >> What are you talking about? >> ████ did you call me, dude? Armor and a credenza are different >> from uh uh uh Beauty and the Beast, you know. >> It's It's a sideways It's a >> That's an armore. It's a horizontal arm. >> Yeah. Yeah. You got a >> Gaston. >> Yeah. No, you got to get a Lumiere.
10:09 >> Lumiere. >> I think you're messing with me. >> No, >> I think you're messing with me. >> If it's a low If I think I saw it's like that lower. It's a tan. That's a credenza. >> An armour is like a closet that's made out of a box. >> This guy doesn't know what an armor is, dude. Hey, you want to delete that? You want to delete that, dude? >> The photo side will teach you about arm wars. >> I'm not gay. >> Gay points. >> You lost your interior design points. >> You're looking mighty straight today. >> No, he'll know an arm war in one second. >> He just magically knows. Now he knows. Now he knows. >> Oh, a cadenza. Yeah.
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