0:00 Okay, if you were gay and you had to date a dude, what kind of things do you think you would fight about? Like based on how you know yourself, what difficulties are you bringing to the table? >> like sucking dick so I'd be like no, you suck my dick and then he'd be like you suck my dick. >> [laughter] >> And then you suck my dick. >> Why don't you like it though? >> Exactly, cuz I'm not gay. So if I'm gay, then I'd be like, well, I have to suck dick. >> [laughter] >> And I'm like you have to suck my dick. >> Okay. >> What if he was like if I suck your dick, can you suck mine after? >> I'd say yes and then I wouldn't. >> Oh, you you then you go I have a headache. >> of course. Yeah. >> And then he was going to break up with you. >> Yeah. >> But what what if it's again like tomorrow? Then he's like bro, you didn't ████ suck my dick yesterday. >> I'm like okay, if you suck my dick this time, I'll suck your dick after. And then I wait I blow in his mouth and then I'm like nah, I'm not I'm not going to do it. >> What about the third time? You can't
0:50 keep doing this ████ >> Yeah, you're going to keep getting away with it? >> I do. I think I gaslight him enough. >> You know through this conversation, I feel like gay guys have the best relationships. >> You get ████ like right away. >> I feel like >> you can just talk without having to play like mind games. >> That's why they have the most sex. >> Like bro, you ████ suck my dick yesterday. Now can I suck your dick? You know it's like you can just be straight up. But you can never talk like that with a chick. >> Dude, I know. >> You know what I mean? >> And imagine, you just completely agree on what we're watching. >> [laughter] >> It's like let's watch Rumble in the ████ Bronco. >> [laughter] >> Right? >> Yeah. That's how you imagine. >> God. >> Now let's suck each other's dicks while we watch Double Dragon FROM THE 90S. IT'S LIKE HEY, YOU WANT TO GO TO 7-Eleven and get some ████ pizzas? >> Yeah. >> Look at my blue tongue while I suck YOUR
1:40 ████ DICK. >> [laughter] >> DUDE, YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT. >> That's that's a good clip. >> That's the best way. >> It's so much more efficient. >> don't have to worry about it. It's like you know how like sometimes you just want to put pop rocks in your chick's mouth and have her drink a diet Coke and then suck your dick. But like with guys like the I'll do that. >> Yeah. >> You know some you just want to feel weird ████ >> No one No one does that, bro. >> Sometimes you want to feel ████ >> Nobody does that anymore? Pop Rocks suck a dick thing? >> Yeah. >> But if you have weird ideas like that, it's not uncomfortable and you're not worried about giving her the ick. A guy would be like, "That's ████ tight." >> Yeah, you don't have to dance around. For you it would be like you just look at your dude and he goes "I'll get the Pop Rocks." >> [laughter] >> Like he just knows already, right? >> Let's say you have like this kink where you like you like nurses or some ████ right? And you always got to like dance around and maybe like, "Hey, like the You ever think about wearing like scrubs?" You got to dance whatever, right? But with dudes, you just be like
2:30 "Hey, would you be down to be he'll just BE LIKE, "NURSE?" >> [laughter] >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. AND THEN YOU WOULD JUST >> AND YOU'RE LIKE, "I got my hard hat." It's like, "You play YMCA? We suck each other off?" >> So are you guys all kind of in agreement that it it would be an easier relationship if we were all just gay? That's an easier life? >> Million percent. >> You think being gay would be an easier life? >> The toilet seat's just up the whole time? >> Mhm. >> [laughter] >> If you sit down, you a little piss goes on your bum, it's okay. >> It's okay. And if you It's like, "Hey, remember how we grilled last night? Let's do it again." >> [laughter] >> You're not like worried like, "Oh, is that like samey-same?" >> What do you think Joe would be like as a gay boyfriend? >> he'd be exactly how he is right now cuz he's ████ gay. >> [laughter] >> I feel like he'd be start He he would hit him. >> He would sock [laughter] him. He would sock him. >> THAT'S COUNTER.
3:20 >> IT'S SO DARK. >> YEAH? >> DAMN. >> Look at the ████ over here, ████ >> Yeah, okay. >> Wait, Joe. >> I don't have to hold back though if it's a guy. >> Yeah. You don't have to play those mind games. You don't have to ████ dance around. >> Yeah, you don't have to hold back. >> Would you have to be the masculine one or the feminine? Would you mind being the feminine one? >> I could do both. >> Oh, you could do both. >> You'd be a bottom, I think. >> He'd be a little spoon. >> It just depends on who I'm with. >> [laughter] >> Okay. >> Cuz I'm going to have a lot of boyfriends. I ain't going to be loyal. IF YOU GAY, WHY HAVE ONE? OH, that's true. >> you're right. >> You gay, you got >> That's why everyone's always ████ each other. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> You don't think you'd be monogamous if you're gay? >> Hell no. >> It'd be too difficult. >> Cuz my ████ boyfriend won't be. >> Oh, you already know. >> Dude, what gay guy is? >> [laughter] >> Dude, how can I answer that?
4:10 >> That's true. That's true. >> What gay guy is? >> Hey, talk your truth. >> [laughter] >> Wait, wait, okay. Out of everyone in JK right now, including >> Anthony. >> Oh, oh. >> Oh, you're saying who we want to ████ hard? Anthony. >> [laughter] >> Who would Joe want to be with? >> Oh, I don't know. I don't know. >> Bart. The bit is that they have a [laughter] secret gay relationship. And lately they do weird meetings like when they he comes to town early and they do weird meetings. And our bit is that they're just making out so hard the whole time and ████ [laughter] >> Okay. >> They're just reminiscing and making >> Immediately put both of our phones on do not disturb. Right away. >> Locations off. >> [laughter] >> Damn. If it's not Bart though, if it's not what >> What's going on? What's going on? >> Oh, I'm just changing the photo. >> I have a dog. >> ████ Oh my god. >> I have a dog. What are you saying if it's Bart, what? >> If it's if you can't choose Bart though.
5:01 >> Who? >> If you can't choose Bart. >> Man, I like the boys for so many different reasons. I think Oh, Anthony Anthony would be basically my my my pump and dump. But I wouldn't hang with them. >> [laughter] >> I feel like me and Joe would have fun cuz we would smoke cigars and >> No, but then but then but then Steve would be like my actual girlfriend. >> Oh, really? >> But then I'll never ████ him. >> And we could watch conspiracy ████ and we could smoke cigars. >> Like I'll take him on a date, but that's that's about it. >> He already does that. He pays for it like everything almost 80% of the time. >> Oh, right. Okay. >> But like yeah, and I think my secret lover would be Ryan. >> Right. Secret [laughter] lover. >> Yeah, yeah. >> Secret lover. >> He'd be the sweetest. >> Wait, for what part of Ryan is the why is he a secret lover? >> He would give us like mixtapes and stuff and like cool stuff. >> Do little sweet things for them. >> is not your boyfriend, man.
5:51 >> No, no, no. I'm I I I'm sticking up for Ryan. I think he's good. >> No, but but but we're all cheating though. >> Yeah, cuz we're all dating each other. >> Cuz we're all gay and they don't you don't have loyalty apparently. >> Do you Do you think you'd be a good gay boyfriend, Will? >> Um man, I complain a lot. >> I complain a lot. >> But I think I'd be good. >> Top or bottom? >> Um for sure top. >> For sure top. I never really heard you complain though. >> He's talking about gas earlier. >> He's talking [laughter] about gas. >> But that's the I don't know. >> Yeah, between you two. >> Now you guys hang a lot. Which one is which? Top or bottom? >> I'm blowing his back out like crazy. >> Oh, okay. >> Damn. >> There's blood, everything. >> Oh, wow. Every time? >> There's blood and everything. >> Every time. Cuz he stretches you out. >> Oh. >> Yeah, that's true. >> So you got to but you got to take care of him. >> No, I think I'm like cleaning stuff up. >> If you're If you're so funny. >> If you're If you're gay, how many
6:42 ████ do you think you would want a day? Cuz now you could be straight up. >> Yeah, you could just be straight up. They want to know. >> One in the morning. And then before going to sleep and then after lunch. >> Three of them? >> No, two. >> Bro, you don't even got that much got that much ████ What are you talking about? >> [laughter] >> He knows. He knows already. >> I sucked it twice. >> Okay, suck suck suck. >> It was running out the second time. >> You don't even have that much ████ >> You You want to get twice a day. Well, how much time do you want booty sex? >> [snorts] >> Is it clean? It's already clean. It's clean. It's already clean. You're gay. >> You're gay. It's prepared for you. >> Yeah, yeah. Just in the morning and at night. >> He eats a diet of jello just for you. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> A lot of yogurt. >> How long is the ████ >> Probably 9 minutes. >> Nine [laughter] Nine minutes? >> Not with that ass. Have you Have you seen his ass? >> Four 4 minutes. >> [laughter] >> Nine minutes? >> 7 to 9 minutes probably. >> Okay. All right. That's nice. What about
7:32 you though? >> Um What kind of gay boyfriend do you think I'd be? >> Yeah. >> Oh, do I think? Um I think I'd be extra sensitive. >> Oh, really? >> I think so. >> You think cuz you could cut loose? >> Are you cheating? No, I don't I'm trying not to, but I think >> Trying not to but but he's gay so he can't resist. >> I think >> Trying not to. >> [laughter] >> But I think it's like a thing where like, you know, maybe like for cuz cuz for girls I'm not as sensitive I don't think, but for guys I think I'd be more sensitive. >> Wait, how? It's usually the opposite. >> It's but he's like making up for lack of sensitivity. >> Maybe because everything that could happen, like if he were to go cheat, I could put myself in that place or something or I would be able to visualize it a lot more. >> Okay. >> That's what That's what I was actually thinking about with dudes. I think they're way more lenient with cheating because like let's say if like you're with a girl, right? And then
8:22 uh you're like you're with her monogamously but then if another hot girl walks by, she's like, "What the ████ Why you staring at her?" or whatever, right? But if you're with a dude another hot dude walks by, you're like looking and he's and then yeah and he's like, "What what what the f███?" >> And then you're like, "What the ████ are you looking at?" And he's like, "You know why I'm looking." And you're like, "Oh, yeah, I do." >> [laughter] >> That's true. >> Every single time, yeah. >> Because you think he would have been like, "I understand. I would have ████ him, too." So then he's more understanding. >> Both like like like you go on a trip and you and you ████ someone on on your tour or whatever and then do I the ████ to cheat on me and you show him a picture, you're like, "Ah." Yeah, I see. Yeah. >> It's It's kind of like the unspoken thing if like a girl walked by and we're all straight, imagine. And then we just >> Yeah. >> You don't say nothing but everyone knows what you're talking about. >> Imagine if your partner understood.
9:12 >> Yeah. >> You You think that's why like uh gay people cheat all the time because they know that whatever the partner whoever the partner They're secure. They They have They're secure. They're like, "Oh, they know that this is we're going to be together." >> They have a higher loyalty. >> Higher? >> Mhm. >> If you think about it. >> The gays? >> The yeah cuz cuz they're they're like, "I know we're good." >> Yeah, they're actually together. >> good. >> So now if I'm going to ████ this guy in a nurse costume, you're not going to really give a ████ >> Well, the cool thing is that even if they are cheating, let's say that we have the figures and like most of them are cheating all the time, they still have a higher happiness rating whenever they're being surveyed than anybody. >> Dude, they're the highest income, they have the most sex, and then I don't know, they're like they're supposed to be >> Like have you ever seen like a gay festival or a gay concert? How freaking hype everybody is? They're so happy. >> Have you ever seen a lesbian
10:02 get-together? They're just angry protesting. >> Very sad. >> [laughter] >> But gay dudes, it's a party. >> That's very true. >> Yeah, so whatever they're doing, whether they're cheating or not, they are fine with it. >> Dude, imagine lesbians cuz like it's two times the complaining. >> Yeah. >> That's why like Tati said, they end up fist fighting. >> And two times the DV. >> Two times the misunderstanding. >> Oh my god, back and forth misunderstanding. Two times the period, and if they're not in sync >> Or if they are in sync. >> They're probably in sync. >> Yeah. >> Dude, yeah, that's tough. >> Yeah, I guess being a gay boyfriend would actually be pretty easy. >> Pretty nice. >> Yeah. >> Do you Do you guys think that you guys uh could be just a little bit gay? >> [laughter] >> A little bit? >> I want to. >> I thought it was one of those if that if you are a little bit, then you are things. >> Um >> How do you be a little bit? >> Yeah, like can you be a little bit tiger? Like that?
10:53 >> [laughter] >> Yeah, yeah, you can't be a little bit tiger. It's you're a tiger or you're not a tiger. >> That's not That's not true, brother. >> Is gay a spectrum? >> Hear me Hear me out. Yeah, it's gay So you're a gay spectrum guy. >> Yeah, I'm a gay spectrum guy. >> Because for example, we're all the straight, right? >> Right. >> But the thing is [laughter] If we go If we If we're all in in prison, okay? For just think about this, and this is, you know, we're 10 years in prison now. Only just us >> 10 years in prison, okay. >> Just us All of us are in the cell, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8. Eight people in the cell, and it's one cell, and um >> I'd rather jack off. >> Yeah, but you say that now, but then after about 5 years and when let's just say we're all, you know, 28 at this point. We got in, I don't know, 20 or whatever. >> Are we still horny?
11:43 >> We're hot. >> Yeah, yeah, we're we're hot. And then, you know, so then what do you know what I mean? >> I get it. >> Yeah, like if some for example, if you're like, "Hey, let me go to I got to go shower." And then you're coming back from the shower and then we're I'm we're both passing through the door, my dick graze your ass cheek. >> How [laughter] How close is this hallway? >> Small door. >> It's a small Thank you. It's a small door. It's a small door. >> Small door, yeah. >> And we're both facing each other like, "Sorry." And then it brushes against >> Brushes against >> All the doorways are thin. They have to maximize space for the cells, yeah. >> Thank you, guys. >> I'll I'll tell you what I'd be down to do. >> Okay. >> I don't want you butt ████ me. >> 10 years after that >> 10 years, 10 years in. I don't want you butt ████ me cuz that's ████ gay. >> You never even seen a woman, though. >> I know, I know. This is your world now. >> 10 years I'm not I'm not gay, but I'm down to hook each other up. >> What's that mean? >> So,
12:33 if like I don't want you to butt ████ me, I don't want butt ████ you because that's straight up gay, but I'm like if we're going to like you jack me off, I jack you off, but we look opposite directions. >> But why? It's still a man's hand. >> No, it's a hand job. >> But there's other men in those directions, too. >> Yeah. >> Then I'll go I'll go I'll go No, I'll go like if we're all >> Are we going to do one of these? >> No, we're in a room we're in a room >> Uh-huh. >> I jack off Jason, Jason Jason jacks me off >> [laughter] >> and then I go, "Joe, can you push your Can you squeeze your titties together?" >> Right. >> that way, yeah, yeah, yeah. But at least now I'm visually ████ Joe, but I'm hands getting ████ my I'm getting ████ by Jason. >> SO, ME AND RYAN ARE ARE ON one side going like this. >> [laughter] >> Just simulating for you guys? >> But I'm like, "Can you put a pillowcase over the cuz I don't want to see a dude's face." >> Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll put the pillowcase, yeah. >> I think they those guys in jail are so down bad that they're like, "Whatever,
13:24 dude." >> Cuz I'm down to I'll try to figure it out. >> 10 years >> Okay, wait. I'm trying to make it I'm trying to get creative without being gay. >> No, but okay, hold on. Hold on though, but Joe is shaving, you know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> And then he has long hair now. >> Oh. >> Oh, that's nice. >> And then only he gets Pantene shampoo. >> So he smells good. He smells really good. >> You never even smelled [cough] Pantene for [clears throat] 10 years. He's the He's the nicest smelling guy in the whole ████ penitentiary. >> He won the pageant last year, too. >> the pageant the the penitentiary. >> Penitentiary pageant, yeah. >> Can I Can I be honest what I would probably do? >> [laughter] >> If I were to be honest >> Okay. >> I'd be like, "Yo, Joe." >> You're a little bit horny. Be honest. >> I'm being honest. I'm going to be honest. He took his No, no, no. I'm going to be honest. What No, no, what I was saying is this. I'd be like, "Hey Joe, can you be a homie? >> Uh-huh. >> Um I I stole these women's panties.
14:16 >> Okay. >> When you take a shower with the Pantene Pro-V shampoo, whatever, can you just wear these for a day? And then that way I can smell the Pantene on the panties. And then I'll go, "Jason, can you jack me off while I'M SMELLING THIS?" >> [laughter] >> I ALSO THINK AFTER 10 YEARS, TOO, WE ALL just see Anthony as a slight and we're not really into it anymore. >> Yeah. Cuz we had him too much? >> It's too easy. >> We passed him around too hard? >> So I just think that Joe would be the prime piece of ass cuz we're all over Anthony. He's like a >> And he's hard He's harder to get than Anthony. >> Anthony's He's not even in jail. He's It's like a week into it. He's already like, "Oh, I got to ████ ME, GUYS." >> [laughter] >> DUDE, IT'S BEEN A WEEK, BRO. >> And after like a couple of months, we're like, "Yeah, we could kind of get I could get through this cuz like Anthony looks like a girl. This is cool." And then after a while, we're like, "No, he just does this with everybody. I don't like that." >> Right. There's no value. Yeah. I want to
15:07 work for it. >> Let me ask you a question since you're asking all the gay questions. >> I'll say. >> Let's say you're super flexible. Super. >> Oh, damn. >> Like your ankles go behind your neck cuz you do a lot of yoga. You've been in there for 10 years like you're saying, right? What would you What do you think would happen first? Either you suck yourself off for a ████ and then blow in your mouth or you have another guy suck you off. >> Good question. >> That's a good question. >> It's a great question. >> What do you think would happen? >> Wait, what does the flexibility have to do >> Cuz you can suck yourself off. Cuz you already jack yourself off. >> Uh the the I think I'll another guy will suck it. >> Before you suck it. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Dang, good for you. Good for you. Why didn't I run for mayor? >> So you rather be gay first before just >> Isn't both gay? Cuz you got a dick in your mouth. >> want to suck my dick though. Like that that that's two layers of issues. >> Really? But you already do you already jack off though. But you already jack off with your hand.
15:57 >> It's not an >> You already jack off with your hand. >> I don't want to That sucking a dick is crazy. >> Really? >> Yeah. Cuz that now I'm sucking my own dick. What's going on? >> You're horny as ████ 10 years you said. >> And I know how I like my dick sucked. >> But I'll just jerk off. I don't got to suck it. That's crazy. [laughter] It's a ████ penis, my penis. Nobody Who's >> Only you know how to do it. >> But that's the problem cuz I know how I like my dick sucked. So I can >> Grab my own head ████ chain it down. [laughter] >> Sucks.
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