0:00 Then you could always blame the dogs. >> Oh, I didn't let the dogs out time. I'll see you guys how you be doing that, huh? >> See, that's the sickest way to get things. >> Oh, look. My dog took a ████ in the house. I got to go, you guys. >> I ████ love Trump. I want to be president for four terms. Oh, look. What? Oh, I dude. Welcome back to a a very heartfelt episode that um that we like to call Bart from the heart. >> Bart prepared a bunch of really uh deep cutting questions that uh that should go uninterrupted when answered. And uh these might take a little bit more time to get, you know, underneath the first layer. So, we're just going to let uh individually we're gonna let people
0:50 answer and then kind of let them go with it. And of course, no better person to start with than question expert Nick Dunn. >> Nick Dunn. >> Yes. >> You got to start with me. >> Nick the Dun. >> This video is about to be short. >> Just imagine it's very similar to like our out of the closet series. >> I hated that series. >> Oh, you did? You didn't even like watching it? >> No, I don't. >> It didn't even got to be serious. It's just like ████ go deep and I don't like that, dude. >> No, I think people are like our fans out there, they want to hear like like details, emotions, you know, every a lot of them, they're going through like a lot of things that we've been through. So, they just want to hear insight and help them navigate. If you care about them even a little bit, you would help them out a little bit. That was the voice. That was the voice you were talking about. >> I love it. >> All right. >> Pick a number between 1 to seven. Uh,
1:46 >> you said number from 1 to seven. >> Sweating. >> No, I'm not. >> Check out my hand. >> Three. >> Oh, okay. >> Oh, I mean, uh, >> you want to change? You have one chance to change it. >> Should I change it then? >> This is a pretty This is a hard one. >> Just choose a number. I told you three. That was my number. >> All right. The question is, what's something that you believe or live by that most people disagree with or they don't believe or live the same? Do you have any close friends that don't believe or live the same? And how do you guys coexist? >> Oh, like you're a raging liberal, but you have a ████ right-wing best friend, Bart. >> Could be. Yeah, could be like that. >> I wouldn't say I wouldn't say I'm a raging liberal, dude. HE SAYS THAT >> I'm pretty I'm pretty conservative actually. >> I mean, you have a lot of friends, so I
2:36 feel like at some point someone's got to be pretty different from you in some major way, but you could still make it work, you know, because you find a place where you do connect. >> Yeah. Like you're super gay, but you have a super straight friend and then you just >> Huh. That's cuz the thing about it is like I feel like I like that my friends are different than me and that they think differently than me >> because it kind of helps me with like blind spots I guess you could say cuz I think earlier when I was especially in my 20s and like when I was like a lot younger I was a lot I think in a lot of ways I was very judgmental about how certain people live their life. >> Oh >> right. >> I feel like that's very normal. >> Yeah. Right. in that in that uh age group >> especially like coming from a Chinese family where you just like >> oh Chinese be judging >> yeah like what the ████ this guy's doing this like why would you do that like what are you ████ you know like that
3:27 was kind of the mind >> cuz that energy is always being put on you >> exactly and you're you kind of internalize it and then you you look at the world with that view it wasn't until like Tiff would always kind of call me out on like how I would think about things or like how critical I was about just certain people's lives or just it could be ████ anything and I I was just really critical on it just because maybe I didn't understand where they're coming from or I didn't consider that certain people grow up differently. They grow up with different like, you know, like for instance, some of my friends that um are a little more promiscuous in this life, you know, like out there ████ all the time. And in my head, I'm like, bro, like >> that's a good example. That's a really good >> because in my in my head I'm like brother like you're you're you're wasting all your energy and time like messing around with these chicks that you know >> and money.
4:17 >> Yeah. And you know like and it's fine. I get it. Like some people everyone's I'm not going to yuck. I'm not here to yuck someone's yums, right? But before I would, but now it comes from a like I try to stop myself and really think about where >> So before you would actually like try to give suggestions or sit them down and try to like help I guess like corral where they're going with that. >> Not Yeah, a little bit. There there's definitely some times where I felt like that's that's like a minor example where I would always tell my buddies like, "Yo, dude, like why you ████ hanging out with this chick if you don't really like her?" >> Yeah. Like if you don't like this chick, why are you always hanging out with her every weekend and you guys are like I get you guys are smashing. That's cool. Whatever. >> But you know, as as a guy who was like the relationship dude, always been in one relationship, you know, it's kind of like, oh, dude, shut the ████ up. Like don't be that guy.
5:07 >> Is that is that how you see it? Like that >> sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like like you shouldn't be throwing stones at and like talking ████ in a lot of ways talking ████ giving suggestions to someone else's life when your life is completely different and you come from a different background, you know? So, um, but I think a lot of times Tiff would always kind of like challenge me and be like, "Why do you do that?" Like just being a total therapist, you know, just questioning it and he go like, "F███, I never kind of like what do you guys do to me where you guys make me think deeper and I go, man, I never thought about that and I I didn't want to on purpose." Would you say that you actually have a lot of friends now that are contrast to maybe your personal morals, but you're like this is kind of how I live my life, but I'm chill if all of you guys are doing different ████ Like, so then now she kind of like you eventually now broke away from the judgment, but now you have a lot of friends that are contrasting, not just
5:58 one friend. >> Yeah, I guess so. But like, you know, as you get older too, your circle gets a little smaller, right? So you kind of start to see that like the way this person lives his life is like, "Oh, I want I like this. I like this idea of having a family, being a more familyoriented person. >> I'm going to start, you know, kind of being around this a little bit more." You know, like for instance, all my a lot of my buddies now are all having kids. They're all having friends. And you see how they change from, you know, like they used to be like super single dudes and then I was always like the I guess the relationship dude and all my other buddies were always like bachelors >> and then now you see them in a different stage in life where they got booed up, they have a baby, they're moving, you know, like all that and you realize like but it's like it's everyone's and but
6:49 what I've come to understand is that everyone their journey and how they get about it is usually more time dependent than anything. Like over time, they just start to grow into it if that's what they kind of want. >> You never rubbed it in their face like, "See, I told you the relationship life is way better." >> No, no, it's not even that. It's like, I don't want to be the guy that's like, "Oh, look here." And it's it's never like unsolicited. It's always like if somebody was >> they came to >> griping about like this person like those are the those in instances where I'd be like bro like just stop talking to girls for a little bit and just like focus on you or whatever you know like you're spending so much time trying to get ████ every week and I'm like brother like just this is not the way you know like I would just think like that >> but at a certain point I would stop saying all that stuff because it's not helpful either you know like
7:39 >> sometimes unless they are really like coming to you like hey man I'm I'm ready to start thinking about this what do you think I should do like then I wouldn't really give my opinion >> how do you deal with like let's say for example a friend >> you feel like is going down a path of like downward trajectory like how do you feel >> and how do you like how do you act on it or do you like not care or you're like oh ████ they're doing that again ████ >> part of me feels like there's nothing I could really do unless they come to you asking for help in a lot of ways, which is kind of a rare situation because I feel like for for most people, they have to just go they have to see the end of the tunnel. They have to go all the way through that for them to realize this is what they want or this is what they don't want. And I think I used to always feel some type of way towards my friends and maybe to like resent them in a
8:30 little bit because I was like, man, like why are you doing this? Like, >> and to me, in my head, I used to always be like, oh, this is a bad example, yada yada yada. But then I've I've learned to just let that go because it's not about that anyway. It's like you're trying to see your friend and you know you want them to do what's right, but I don't know what the ████ is right for them. Like my opinion is just one thing. It's I don't have there could be a lot of information I'm missing. >> So is it like you were trying to stop them from self-destruction or you wanted to help them? >> That's what I thought. But I think at the end of the day it's like I don't think I'm that big of a a mover in that way. >> But but what changed to where you were just like is it like you just accepted it like that's or were you just more like >> Yeah. Is so it's just acceptance that like they're just going to live their own path >> is and it didn't bother you anymore or
9:21 you just learn to live with it? >> You learn to live with it and then you learn to >> So it still bothered you? >> No, not really. like you kind I think you let go of it because so if you see the homie that's always promiscuous but then also like getting his heart broken or whatever or he's spending all much time if he like does it or like does the habit again oh I'm going to go meet up with this chick or whatever and you're like ████ there he goes again I know what's going to happen next week he's going to come over and want to cry about some ████ like how do you like uh you're now you're just more like oh this it is what it is I just I'll be there for him when he needs help or how do you >> and for my friends that have done this you talk back to him a little bit and After a couple months, you realize that they're in a different phase like naturally just because they were running themselves into the wall and they were like doing these cycles with the same chick or whatever. >> And then a couple months later, you realize now they're going, "Yeah, I got to stop now." You know, like without you
10:12 having to say a ████ thing. You just give them a space where they could like explain to you or talk to you and you just be open, you know? And I learned that from Tiff, too, because she always says like you can't cuz we talk about this cuz like I train people. She works, she's a therapist. And a lot of the mindset comes from you, sometimes you can't want it more than your patient or your client. >> Yeah. >> And sometimes you you want it more than them >> and they're coming for you for help, but you realize that they're like, I guess, uh, >> true. >> That's Asian dad style. >> Yeah. They're not ready to to make that step. So, you kind of just have to be there to be as support rather than, hey, you need to do X, Y, and Z. you need to do this because that doesn't really get through to people I think >> uh over a period of time until they're ready to say like okay I'm ready to accept whatever I need to do to move forward >> based on your like I guess your personal
11:04 qualities I feel like you're pretty active and pretty good with goals do do you have any close friends that are lazy like from way back that you know like that are more like opposite >> yeah I guess so I guess so Like there's always friends that you kind of look at as as slackers, I guess. But there I've learn I've also come to realize too. It's like sometimes they just do things in their own way. They do it in a slower pace. >> I guess my question is how do you have the dynamic of uh you know like everyone always says and it is true that like you kind of take on the qualities of the people that you're around. How do you >> like you're the sum of your five closest friends? >> Yeah. How do you have friends that are that are very obviously um like you could take on bad qualities from them, but you don't? >> Yeah. How do they know? >> I think it's time dependent. It's how
11:55 much time you spend with them. >> Oh, okay. >> So, like nowadays, I don't really have that much time to spend with like a lot of people, you know? >> So, it's like if I am with somebody, it's only with like a couple hours or so >> and then it's kind of like on to the next. So, in a lot of ways, I think I'm I like kind of protected from that because I don't get to spend like a ton of time with somebody. And I think the more time you spend with somebody that is kind of like that, the more highly likelihood you're going to adopt a lot of those principles and that mindset. But >> have you ever had um like a friendship or acquaintance or something where the where their world view and everything is too contrasting to the point where you start going ████ I need to compartmentalize my time with them? >> Yeah, definitely. >> Definitely. >> So like what were those traits? Like >> I think when certain what bothers me a
12:47 little bit is when people talk about the world or certain aspects of things with such certainty >> Yeah. that where I go, you're crazy, dude. Like, how are you talking like especially with like politics nowadays, right? When people come out here and they and I understand that everyone that I am friends with, they all have different views and I respect that. You're 100% likely like you're 100 you should be able to think whatever you want, right? >> But how you come to those conclusions is where I go, huh, there's like a little error in how you think in certain times, right? But then again, this could be judgmental brain or whatever. >> It's kind of like having a flatearther friend >> that has no plans of checking the edge of the earth. >> Yeah. And it's like, "Hey man, you got or or or when some people become like obsessive with it and that's all they want to talk about where I'm like, hey
13:38 dude, you need to step away because at a certain point of time like this isn't >> like they're bringing it up in front of new people you both just met >> or like they just can't stop talking about incessantly." >> Can we talk about ice again? Like next Thursday we'll talk about ice. >> Yeah, we'll talk about ice, dude. And we and we can sit here and have a logical ex like debate or if you think it should be one way and I that's totally fine, right? Because at the end of the day, we're just a bunch of ████ on a couch. We're not doing anything. >> I think that's probably the key. That's probably the key right there is if they don't take it that seriously to where it damages your friendship. >> Yeah. And the way I like to look at it is like the way we talk about like sports in a lot of ways, right? >> It's like >> everybody's on different teams. >> Exactly. And we're on the outside. So it's like from what we hear it's always put through a filter of like somebody else like I don't know what their objective is by putting certain news out >> and it's a personalized filter for you
14:28 and for him. Yeah. >> Like we have to take it with like a grain of salt no matter what. No matter what we hear. >> I feel like that's really healthy way of taking information. >> I don't know. It's just like we have to always like you know we go to college they tell you what. ████ check your sources. Make sure it's >> make a bibliography. >> Yeah. Yeah. Make a bibliography dude. And like I don't know. It's just I just don't like when people get too wrapped up in it where people start fighting, they get buttth hurt because you said like like if I say to you I think Donald Trump's a ████ ████ and you get mad at me. I'm like come on, bro. What the ████ is your problem? >> You know what I mean? Not my king. >> Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. That's where I go like, "Dude, what the ████ is your problem?" Like, "Why do you love him so much? That's weird. You don't know the ████ guy." >> Fingers crossed when you say >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or if you're like really hurt that I have an opinion about something and cuz you could tell me something about that, like a belief that I have. You could be like, "Hey, dude, I think MMA is gay." I'll be like, "Yeah, I can see how you say that." Like, I I totally understand.
15:18 >> Do you have any friends that, let's say, let's use that example. Let's say you have a friend who if you were to say that Donald Trump's a dumbass, he would get mad. Do you have any friends that you know that if you said something like that, they would get pissed, but you just choose not to? >> I think I'm trying not to just censor myself in a lot of ways. So, if I feel if I truly feel some type of way, I'm that's something I'm trying to be more vocal about is like if I feel some type of way, I'm going to say it. And if that upsets you, then we could be cool. Like we can find a way to be cool, right? Like I don't know. It just it just it is what it is. That's what I've accepted is like I think that's part of being close, right? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Understanding that like, hey, we may not think the same way, but we could still ████ you know, be friends. Like why is it so divisive, you know? >> Yeah. So I think whenever people are
16:09 just very dogmatic in their beliefs and there's no ability to think outside of it or to like even play with the concept of how you could be wrong >> like that already makes me go I don't maybe I wouldn't want to hang out with you as much you know >> or you limit your time with them. >> Like what's an example of something that brings you closer to someone where like you share a common ground on A but B through Z are like not in common, you know? Is it is it mainly jiu-jitsu? Is it like fitness? Like what circles bring you to meet somebody that you're so different from, but you have something major in common? >> And then it makes you not cut the ties. >> Yeah. Where it's like worth preserving. >> It's only A and B through Z are different. We're not friends anymore. Not like not like I'm breaking up, but I'm like, "Oh, we're just not aligned or not like-minded." >> Yeah. Um I think it like jiu-jitsu is
16:59 probably one of the >> That's like the strongest tie that that you have. >> That's one of them. like jiu-jitsu or fitness like usually like because it's activities that people like to do together and you know we could have different thoughts or whatever but cuz you know you end up talking about the stuff anyway. >> Yeah. >> Right. >> How about family? Do you end up like meeting people through family that >> you just have to be close with but you're not necessarily A through Z. You're kind of >> I think for us we we I think we're good at limiting time with certain people. You know what I'm saying? like just keeping our distance like it we don't have to be with them all the time >> but like you know we can gather and be friends and cool you know do activities together but >> our life isn't super intershed with anyone else besides like a really close family >> you know so >> then you could always blame the dogs I didn't let the dogs out time I'll see
17:51 you guys how you be doing that >> see that's the sickest way I got things >> oh look my dog took a ████ in the house so I got to go you guys I ████ love Trump. I want to be president for four terms. Oh, look what Oh, I got songs out, dude. >> But on part of it though is I like talking to people like that cuz I'm just curious >> and I I try to I try to come from a point of curiosity because I am fascinated how people come to certain conclusions >> because I really want to know like >> that's just what it is. So, I'll kind of >> and and you know when you I think I learned that from training clients too is because you have to spend an hour with them and sometimes if you guys don't mesh personalitywise, you kind of have to find a common ground >> where you guys could be like, "Hey, what do you think about this?" Oh, and a lot of the times too if they have contrasting narratives or contrasting viewpoints. >> Sometimes it is interesting to see how like that could kind of sneak into what
18:41 you think too, right? Like a little bit cuz you know sometimes they do make some good points and I'm like, "Yeah, I never thought of it that way." And you explained that very well. Thank you. You know, so sometimes when you just are curious about how people come to those conclusions, I think it's a lot easier to just make it work in a lot of ways because I'm I'm not going to be the guy that's like, "Oh, I ████ hate you. I'm not going to talk to you." Uh unless you're like molesting kids or something, you know? But uh I don't know. Like there's there's certain there's certain boundaries that you hard boundaries that you keep. >> You don't think there's something you can learn from a guy like that? >> I think there's a couple things I can learn from a guy like that. Unfortunately, nothing good though. Nothing good. >> Well, thanks for sharing. This has been another episode of Bar from the Heart. >> I hope that was like good, huh? >> Is this good content? >> I think I was just rambling for 17 minutes, dude. >> That was Nick from the dick.
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