0:00 the quality that all the girls that like I like like share is like I admire them in some way and it's not like they're an entrepreneur or something most of it is like what they've overcome in their life but isn't it so sick to save someone that's like I'm captain Sao bro that's why I'm out here like I can't even save myself [Music] dude welcome back to another amazing episode careful boys I can turn up the AC sorry he's cold are you cold no I'm not cold are you freeing nobody else is I'll deal with it he's always complaining about the he big shout to Tequila No it my first calories for day I'll take one if you take one I'll take one if you take one that's easy he's going to take one damn it's early next video
0:51 next video he loves drinking he loves drinking responsibly J yeah had a question oh yeah question for me yeah so you're talking about the whole attracted to broken women thing I was and then you are you married now or girlfriend married now wow was your wife when you met her like one of those situations or no you know like I told the story before but it was just like um I have no plans on being serious with her she didn't either she's in London so long distance right but how did you meet her when I was on a different trip to London she had she dm' me from her work Ina which is she's a she's a uh she's into fashion and stuff so it's all textiles and and things like patterns it's not a it's not a face so she was like don't be one of those influencers that come to town and eat all at all the places go to these
1:42 places so she sent me a bunch of Yelp links and I was like oh ████ and we just started chatting and then yeah so then my buddy's like he he's D the girl out there and he goes hey I got this like three-bedroom apartment like I'm bored my girls at work all day come hang out so I went to London and then that's when I met her yeah fast forward like I guess um what a year later I don't know I'm bad with dates but we're married but the reason why I married her that's 4 year later we're married I'm with dates my wedding date we got married in 22 crazy bro we got married in 22 Yeah Bart love that joke y'all still got time just yeah take another year now 40y olds do move crazy she was 28 at the time I think I was
2:34 like 36 or 7 but um is one of those things when people go when you know you know and I I didn't know what that meant you know but um yeah I've been in and out of like relationships just with yeah but I met her family love like super lovable family right like parents still love each other everything and I'm just like damn that's hella rare very rare very rare but um they're tough like her brother's a special ops dude you know she has three brothers they've been through a lot because her dad had like this weird autoimmune disease that like got him in and out of the hospital and seizure so that was their thing that made them tough but also Bond harder as a family and I'm like this is what the ████ a
3:24 good family looks like is someone who fights to keep each other like alive and good and that and so for for her I think like a lot of the stuff that used to piss my exes off she wouldn't get mad because her dad and her brother are like me so she understood me in a lot of ways because thankfully she grew up with guys like that can you give an example like things that would piss piss off your exes but not her um damn I don't know any specifics but it would be along the lines of like ████ other girls I think the biggest one would be like ████ another dude deal why'd you do that Joe you're impulsive about doing stuff
4:16 and quickly totally derailed this so um she would be like you're so romantic right and I'm like are you ████ with me because every ex I dated said I'm cold unemotional um I'm not romantic I'm not capable okay I say that to you too stop poking me and so I went throughout life thinking oh I'm just like a guy that's I can't express romance and like I'm just cold and I just ████ and that's it and and whatever but she said she was the first one to be like you're so ████ romantic and thoughtful and I'm like you're the only person that knew that when I'm doing these adventures and thinking of something to do spontan L that's because I want us to have fun and in the past all of the exes were like why the ████
5:06 are we going hiking out of nowhere like or whatever right like they didn't get what I was doing so it's kind of hard to explain but like she just got what I was doing without me having to say it cuz her brother and Dad's the same way yeah and then so that kind of created this environment that was like not so much um adversarial cuz relationships can get like that right cuz like if you if you if you have trauma then something can trigger you and go hey you ████ ████ you're doing this because you have this alterior motive and you think negative when they they didn't even mean that but you probably dealt with something in the past that's what I was dealing with yeah and she never had that at all like with me it's always been unconditional love but what breaks my heart is um I can't give that to her so ████ it it's yeah
5:56 can't give what to her um when we fight like I'll be immediately she's my enemy and then so I'll scream at her yell at her act as if like she's um trying to do something deliberately wrong trying to try to slay you yeah yeah but then her reaction is she doesn't feed into the fight so she doesn't fight back so it turns into like a one-sided fight yeah and then I calm down and I'm like holy ████ dude I'm so sorry and I feel guilty yeah you're dead ass just like me that's why when I heard your story I was like bro yeah that's it changes right but it takes time but with the right person it's different some people can it you guys just egg each other on and it's like bad it's like fire with fire some other people it's like they can they can help you grow out of that situation cuz they don't give
6:46 you that yeah how do you think you could have found somebody like her sooner man I don't know because I don't I don't think I was incompatible with my exes in the same way I think they helped me learn a lot about myself and then if I didn't have that I wouldn't be ready for Hannah now like you got to like eat winter snitel to know that this hot dog is actually a really good hot dog I think so I think so he ████ hungry simplif idea you got to know like what doesn't work right cuz you got to go straight to a Michelin star restaurant like this thing this whatever M Star hot dog well also I feel like but what if you just had no hot dogs the first Hot Dog you eat you're like like damn I'm sticking with this one you know ding ding ding guy School ding ding who is he
7:36 which hot dog is [Music] it well I don't know for me and my wife it was just like every time we had a big test we would try to like get through it and we come out the other side and we're like all right cool high school sweetheart for real though wow dude that's insane but I just feel like once again it's just like I got lucky I found the right person we found the right people and then also too we just try to just make it work we have the same mentality going in um they're both wieners she doesn't want to leave me yet but we'll see but if that time ever comes we'll deal with that then too yeah I think you told the story once where it was like a very like it was like a uh the hardest part in your relationship it was like a deciding factor point you've never had that where it was like are we really meant to be together we've been you know we were so young when we got together maybe we should go our separate paths that's
8:27 never happened to you don't put those thoughts in his head did you have like a rock bottom did you have a rock bottom moment yeah we had we had some like issues but like I never felt like it got at least on my end it never felt on my end where I was like I'm ready to just blow this ████ up of course you have like intrusive thought yeah yeah but you realize it's it's emotion it's based on like how I'm feeling in the moment not really about like how I'm going to feel later on um our probably biggest issue was like integrating with like my family and stuff like that and kind of like managing these personalities getting together and that was like it kind of taught us about taught me how like kind of my family is and how um how to bring another person into my family and me being I guess the liaison between them right um cuz I'm the youngest of my family about like a couple by like six
9:17 or seven years so I was always like the little brother that was like all right we're going here okay cool I'll just go with the flow you know so then now that I'm bringing someone into my family who's my wife who I was going to marry there was a lot of like tension going in and I kind of had that mindset of like all right well it'll all be cool but then I had to be really proactive and you know put out some fires here and there and I was like oh ████ this is kind of crazy but during that time it was when maybe we had the most like Rocky um place in our in our relationship but it was one of those things where it's like all right well what do you want to do do you want to ████ leave if you want to leave okay go ahead I want to be here you want to be here okay then let's move forward so like that's how we kind of handle it but I'm lucky that I have someone that was able to to have the same mindset with me and I know for a lot of my friends that have a hard time finding their people I think that's what it really is is
10:07 finding the right person that like fits they weird you know what up guys thank you for watching us for so long if you like what we do please support our patreon Joe tell them what we have to offer so every week you get two videos one never relased director's cut and another one two hot for YouTube patreon only every freaking week you get that and you get get access to our Discord where you can come chat with us and ask us questions that become episodes here cuz we're going to answer them and we're going to take it seriously and we want to give you the responses that you want so come stay connected with us join our patreon click the description below for full details yeah it's about matching the weird that's what I've notic and and you being understand like I understand the baggage that my wife has she understands the baggage that I have and we're both okay with it and we're willing to move past it and work towards it cuz obviously we don't have any
10:57 intention of being I guess the same people we want to like try to improve and not be pieces of ████ all the time so it's like you know as long as we're kind of aiming for that I think generally you get better results then if you're just like all right well this is who I am it's your fault whatever cuz I feel like that can happen a lot in relationships dating is scary man I'm just not going to it's hard bro it's really ████ hard what I wanted to ask is cuz you were like I'm just how many people do I have to hurt before you hopefully get to the place where you find two to six two to six they're hurting trying to tap it at absolutely start Speed running I'm trying to be a good guy when I say that but trust me really hurting if both of you guys were coming to yeah that's [Laughter] true just make sure she
11:48 comes well you said you said you're 25 right 25 yeah I didn't meet my wife until 28 so I mean yeah but once again I'm not trying to be like y'all bro yo hey you got to think about that's why you got problems no I know everybody tells me like you're still young blah blah blah but it's like I don't know the the idea of of growth is daunting that's the best way to put it and I still pursue it I like that more than anything in this life the the journey to be healthy and to end the cycle that my parents showed me um that's that's my my strongest Pursuit it always has been but to say it's not daunting would would be a lie sometimes like I had to I had to force myself to go in a walk or or do something to get my mind off it cuz I will sit there and the more you think about it the more impossible it seems
12:39 and then sometimes it's like I look back on the past 2 years and I see who I am now I see how differently I view Rel good bro what's up what' you do I was looking at my forearms um that looked pretty good everyone got elments dude every got why why' you you you're the one that made it weird it was so normal until you ████ brought it up you're over here like like I saw like a line in my forearm I didn't notice before I was like is that is that like on the D is working okay put a reflection in front of them he won't pay attention I was quiet and everything what what's your situation lately I know
13:29 you've had some like pretty adventurous dating experience oh God uh adventurous yeah he back on those Adventures highrisk low reward highrisk low reward is crazy I would say it's medium reward okay no we he's he's the street General yeah holding it down I I tried to I tried to escape the streets and the universe was like you know maybe the streets is where you belong and I said all right sometimes it happens when when you're not even looking though like when you're just out being FY world yeah I'm like I'm not but um yeah no I mean I I tried the dating thing real like uh and then um did not did not work out and then um yeah so then I was just like I don't even know I was like celibate for a bit
14:20 and then I and then I met people I emotionally connected with and then then that ended very terribly and then now I'm just back to the streets oh okay but he's the chosen one he you know how Korea's going extinct he's going to make sure rep let's go you're going to go back there and and repopulate AR they paying people to go they're they're uh they're they're going to take me to the military if I go back that's that's Japan are you like out there making half Koreans then no hopefully not but uh yeah I try to take every precaution you think that could be helpful for your addiction what just a child no military the military or do you think you would go the other way and start I think I'll just start ████ doing I'm just kidding I'm just kidding but no what the ████ military people are
15:10 like the biggest horse I feel like no that's what in America I I feel like they are I feel like everywhere oh really just with a bunch of dudes all the time to testosterone pumping like the second they let you out you're like women where are they you know like that's what I see from my military friends whenever they're ████ in or whatever around a military base there's always a big red light district hella strip clubs hella tattoo shops Camaro dealerships High APR Camaro dealership is so on point is that something you even want cuz for me I it wasn't even on my radar because I lost hope so I don't I'm just in surprised that I'm married yeah it was like yeah it was just I think I think I like tricked myself into thinking I wanted it for for a little bit I think
16:01 it's cuz I met a girl that I wanted it with and then um that just panned out terribly but then um it uh so now I'm just like and then I think I was in the mindset of like that's what I want but then I was like no it's not I don't think it's what I wanted I wanted her I I think and I just didn't like because the regret of like not acting on it would eat me up I'm like all right so then every woman I meet now I got to just see in case you're the one but I'm like damn you all you all I'm dating in La you know what I mean like La is like one of the worst cities to to like seriously in so I'm just like and then I'm also like what am I complaining about like life's pretty good so I'm like I'm just back to the streets I go it's 1942 bottle every one of my friends got cuffed up and I'm like someone's got to hold it down over here I'll be I'll be waiting for y'all and uh slowly one by one they're coming back so coming back I
16:51 got I got my right hand man I want I want a wife and kids yeah so did I man worry yeah but I said keep putting that energy you don't have to end up like him end up like me is you is that what you want eventually oh yeah absolutely I want I want lots of kids I want a wife like I want the traditional type of happy family marriage and stuff but you know like like I like I realized like it's not about looking for it like I'm not trying to like look for it I'm open to it when it comes I think I am ready to deal with those responsibilities if they come but yeah the for now he's got to try every single pie yeah Jeremy what's what's W's type your opinion yeah they have to breathe two arms two legs no no no no no
17:42 let's not try to vilify me like like yeah no no no no you you would be You' be open to an ampute yeah there one there's some hot there's some hot Ute bro what kind of woman could you see him ending up with friendly anybody who's friendly is wox Ty oh my God this is not true do you have any good taste you know what he actually has really good taste when it comes to women like just physically they're all very very pretty that's cool yeah yeah they're trying to make it sound like I have no standards I'm like what the ████ a little bit of trauma but I'd say I'd say like that that's why I relate it to the broken person thing I was kind of like yeah that's what that's a pattern I recognize that it's only when I like relate on a trauma level that I feel
18:32 really like comfortable I guess myself opening up and that brings us closer like I don't feel cuz I I have all these things where I'm like oh I like growing I like somebody who's also like ambitious about their personal growth and then I met a girl like that and I'm like you're insufferable like you you only you're you look at me like I'm some kind of machine and you're like oh you should fix this thing next that thing work on this and I'm like what the ████ ████ like I work on ████ you don't even know where I came from to get to here like like statistically I should be dead or in jail like like damn cut me some ████ slack wait who was that don't I'm not about to drop the name but yeah and then I was like on paper I'm like you were everything that I thought I wanted and you're just not at all someone that I could be vulnerable with and get close to that means they're not truly healed either yeah yeah yeah exactly it's like a it was almost like an like an arrogance like like like it was like this mask of
19:23 like look how much I work on myself that means I'm better than you right not to me cuz that's what she was attracted to me about she was like oh I feel like you're the same but I'm like nah not in the way that you're like that like I feel like you do it as like a badge of honor and I'm just like trying like a virtue signaler or like a good Christian good Christian right yeah even worse though cuz it was like it wasn't like from that angle it was from the angle of like I'm not a virtue signaler like I I recognize my faults you don't like it's like it's like the second layer of like you know what I mean like trying to be arrogant in that way I mean I don't know if you relate here about that but when I noticed a pattern when I was dating women like that is that um I felt like tainted right and then if there was a good girl or whatever I was like oh she probably just won't understand me in the same way or or maybe there is some
20:13 clear differences of just how she grew up so when we try to talk she just didn't get my world but a girl that comes from your world it's like oh they get it and there's a level of comfort from that mhm but then you got two broken Souls like trying to fix it is just not that good that's that's exactly yeah I mean like that's that's what I'm going through now I feel like where every woman I've like connected with enough to like try to like be vulnerable or emotional with I'm just like damn you're this is not going to end well like like it's very attractive to me because it's like feels like this like ████ K drama of us like crying together or whatever the ████ but it's just like but like ████ it's literally like two two people with one hand trying to play like ████ basketball you know like it's ████ sucks [Laughter] and it sucks to watch from the outside it's like damn yeah still possible
21:03 though it's possible but it's like damn they're trying so hard I want to close my eyes you know it's good to have meet people with trauma but I think it's you need people that are trauma and healed exactly and and I think that that's one of the most attractive qualities in women to me it's uh I've realized like the the quality that all the girls that like I like like share is like I admire them in some way and it's not like they're an entrepreneur or something most of it is like what they've overcome in their life like and then like but isn't it so sick to save someone that's like I'm captain Sao bro that's why I'm out here like too much work inspecting every Rock to see if I can't even save myself dude work on your for I got the energy that's the biggest ho to save I don't got the energy to save other people
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