0:00 You either choose dumb-ass or you are a boring ████ that gets boring. Damn. [Music] And welcome back to another semi-mukbang episode of the Careful Boys. Everybody's still eating their Sonora Town right now. We always call these mukbangs, but nobody ever like eats volume-wise to like the camera and the microphone. You got to make sound effects where you like smack it. Isn't that ASMR? Yeah, but like mukbang, I guess so. You right. Only people like that though, right? It is kind of funny that we never eat Asian like you know like how they eat be eating those like weird clams and ████ That look like dicks. It's also funny that we're always eating the same thing. Our mukbang is like mad LA just Okay, well here's another reminder for everybody out there to please please
0:50 help us survive by subscribing to our Patreon where you can contribute articles like this one submitted by Ben Wong. Hey Ben. Hey Ben. Ben Wong. He gave us a a direct am I the butt hole, um which is actually really good because usually the ones that are submitted on Reddit are like it's very clear what the answer should be. Yeah. I think this one's going to be a an interesting one. Cool. Okay. Can I sauce again? He says That's Ken's arm, by the way. No, it's not. No, it's not. Just recently I've gotten to a really serious fight in a long time with my girlfriend. Oh. Your girlfriend's always right. You're in the By chance I saw a guy texting her and I know I might be in the wrong, but I looked into the conversation and their long convos were ongoing day in and day out for almost 2 weeks now. She said it's just a mutual friend of the newlyweds that she met at a wedding party and I was there during that wedding as well and she said he knows
1:41 that she's attached. I've been cheated on before. This situation's kind of the start behind the previous reason that led to my ex cheating on me. Mhm. I did not really look into the specifics, but at a glance for the whole conversation they were really trying to get to know each other. She said she is not the person with many friends, so she threw me back into a question asking if it was wrong for her to have friends. In my POV, if roles are reversed, I would respect my partner by keeping things really casual and nothing too deep uh and too frequent like having the conversation from morning till midnight and continuing in the morning again for 2 weeks and continuing. Oh. Scraping it. She's getting horny. One thing led to another and although I have told myself that she deserves her own her own circle and I need to have my own as well. However, perhaps it's because of my jealous tendencies that leads me to having this argument. Am I the butt hole for even being here
2:31 and looking into the conversation and what would you guys have handled? He's ask he's asking the wrong question. He should be asking why am I so cheatable? Yeah. Damn, that's a good question. girl's cheating on him. The second girl's clearly cheating on him. You're too nice. That's the double matrix. ████ You either You either choose dumb-ass ████ or you are a boring ████ that gets boring. Damn. And if you don't answer that question the third chick's going to cheat on you, too. Hey, this that got real way fast. That's a good way to tackle the topic, I think. That's a good place to start. That's if you want to go double matrix. Well, to be fair, anything introspective is always going to be helpful. Because that's what you can control, right? You can control how you talk to other ladies, how you you let these behaviors slide. Um No, they should be so introspective
3:21 to the point where their low self-esteem and then they just feel like failures. Yeah, that's true, too. Yeah. Damn. I don't think he means that one, but yeah, damn. I mean, look, man. If you're boring, you're boring, bro. [Laughter] But what can we do to fix it? Bro, I I want to know exactly what was said because for me when you're in a relationship how much do you really want to make new friends of the other other gender? Like that's just me. Like I could be cool with someone but I don't want to ████ really take this girl out to go shooting guns with me. I'd rather take Subin. Yeah, that's true. You know what I mean? Or like if you already have friends, well I guess this might actually defend her point, but if you already have friends,
4:12 time is limited. Why would you want to make new friends whether it's a guy or a girl? You want to go back and hang out with your boys. If she but if her point is I I don't even have friends, I can kind of see why she's thirsting for some type of attention outside of her relationship. I also wonder like you think about your own relationships, who do you text from morning to midnight? Yeah. That's true. Like for an extended period of time Only my Postmates when they can't find my address. Unless you all just have like jokes like You text them randomly throughout the week, you piece of ████ On- on- only only only if I have ████ to do with them the next day. No, but like continuously like continuing conversation for like 2 weeks? Nope. Just get it just getting to know each other then? What she's missing or desperately missing is a connection that
5:03 you guys don't have. Yeah. And she and it's maybe she's not even being malicious, but she has a connection with this guy and she's seeking it out Yeah. And it's yeah yeah and it's masked in a I'm just making new friends, but it might also move so fast at a rate that she's not even understanding and she's like, oh ████ I am cheating. You know like sometimes you're moving faster than your brain can process. 2 weeks might be like genuinely to like her intention and her heart. It genuinely is like innocent. Yeah. You know? But then like 2 more weeks down the line suddenly like, oh dude, I I do I am thinking about this person a lot. jack him off through his pockets. Yeah. The other side of the coin, too, is like she could be manipulating a a little bit. Like cuz there is that potential where somebody could be like actively lying and be like, no, he's just a friend, you know. Or she's in denial. Yeah, or that, too. It could be both. so simple where like if you just know
5:55 like if she's got to know she's got that kind of guy that would worry that much about that, right? I mean, if they had an argument about it, she knows now. Yeah, that's what I mean. So like if you really care about your partner and they're tripping about anything, whatever it is. If you're not making adjustments for that or breaking it off you got to make a choice, really. Cuz either you work with what they are okay with and not okay with because that's that's what it is, right? It's whatever rules you set for your relationship. Yeah. You If you're at the point where you got to like be asking the world like you're not getting coming closer to the solution. It's right there. It's just like can you accommodate how I feel about it or not? So do you do you feel like the the good move is to set a boundary with this lady? I think the boundary's been set. Yeah. And I think she's breaking it. She is questioning the boundary by saying, but don't you want me to have friends? So I'm now I think it's up to the dude to go, that's how she feels
6:45 about your boundaries. Are you down to move forward with that? I don't think there's you can't make anything stricter cuz that pushes people away. So whatever you currently have that's you've just found the point where you're not meeting. Yeah. A choice just has to be made. Like you want to stick with this or you want to like, you know, cuz you don't want to force anybody to be like No. Cuz if I put myself in the girl's shoes, right? Like for if Hannah was like, hey, I don't feel comfortable with your friendship with ████ Rachel or whatever. And then let's say I just met met Rachel at my friend's ████ wedding. It's a new friend and then I'm like, you know what? We like and then we have a common interest and it's strictly platonic. We just really like ████ Pokémon or whatever it is. And I mean, poke me. Poke poke each other. I actually Whoever I'm with is more important than the new person I met. Yep. So if she's like, I'm
7:35 uncomfortable, even if it comes out of jealousy, I don't give a ████ because the goal is to make sure that we're solid and then it's like, okay, You have no tie to this person. I don't have to ████ yeah, ████ it, you know? To me that doesn't make any sense why she's actually going around and say, why you don't ████ trust me? ████ you. It's maybe it's not about that. Maybe it's just that relationship even if you are being platonic Yeah. you're having so much um you're giving so much more attention there. And maybe he feels like there's less bonding going on in our relationship cuz you're really like you like this new toy that's going on right now. I don't know. That's why I feel like you're on something with the like why is he so cheatable? Because I think most people if their
8:26 like what is the ████ hierarchy of needs, right? If their like hierarchy of needs are met, it is easy to respect boundaries. But if she does have a giant void of connection or intimacy or whatever that is that she is not even aware of yet. If she has that giant void, she's just trying to fill it and so like that's probably where she came up with the well, how come I can't just have friends? Yeah. Yeah. Right. That's just the only way she can articulate that. That's the biggest question is why she got no friends. Well, that that definitely makes sense cuz I think like She has zero ████ friends? I mean, I'm sure it's not zero, but I mean, like with with me and Smac, we kind of had the same thing where I I would also encourage her to like spend more time with friends, too, because there's some parts about whether, you know, she wants to talk about certain things or she has different concerns. I don't think I connect with it as well as a friend would. I'm like, you should you shouldn't dump everything on me because
9:17 then, you know, that's I can't be responsible for every facet of how you feel, you know what I mean? Like same deal with like the stuff I can talk about in here with you guys. You know, I told her, too. I'm like, it's going to be uneven cuz I'm spoiled by having this. I can get all this ████ off my chest like here and then you don't got to like hear it from me where it feels redundant, but you don't have a JK News on your side where you're going to feel like everything you want to say is going to have to be to me cuz there's no one around. So I'm like, yeah, you spend more time away like you have those different things so that it's not all here. You get a get a TV and yell at it or something. Yeah. That is a hilarious dynamic that I had to get used to. Yeah. Just being like so all talked out here and then like being on the phone with the wife at night and being like, I don't want to talk about anything. Yeah, because then it feels like like we've gotten to situations where I'm like, "Don't you got anything positive to say about anything?" Cuz like all of her negative feelings are saved until I'm there. That's true.
10:08 this is this sucks. Like tell me something nice about somebody, you know? Like we'll get into those Make me laugh the way Nick did. But that's because like we talk our ████ here and then we come home to our girl and all that's left is like, "Oh, my baby." You know what I mean? Like So I understand that it's unfair, but then also like it's different if like you were saying, if there's a part of her that she's not able to get from me and it's only from another dude, that's a problem on my end. Yeah. Like that's not Like if a guy was like, "I'll hear you I'll hear you out on Exactly. Exactly. Like that's not a that's not a she's being an ████ That's like I'm inefficient or like I'm not sufficiently providing that. Yeah. They're they're all are really mature. Yeah, that's a very very good way to put it. There's even a number of like, you know, closer girlfriends that I've had that when I got to a serious point in my
10:58 relationship with Nina, I like I didn't cut them off, but like naturally it's just like there's no more there's no more just like, "Hey, let's go grab coffees." Or like, you know, those like one-on-ones. It's like if it's like really a catch-up I haven't seen you in like a year, sure. But like any of the the the how you doing type random stuff like all that stuff had to just end. Yeah. You know, just like and it wasn't even a problem. It's it's nothing she ever brought up. It's just like yeah. I also just don't want to like foster anything that like maybe whatever. Even for my own sanity, you know? So I I I agree like in the sense that like she shouldn't be doing that, but at the same time like that's she's doing it for a reason. I'm not saying she's like a terrible person. I just think the only thing that you can help or fix is like your own kind of like understanding of
11:48 yourself. Yeah. But isn't that kind of like dating level talking though? Morning till night 2 weeks straight every day. I mean. Yeah, that's different. It just could be that common. Who knows? I could only imagine me doing that with someone where it's like shared hobby ████ my wife don't give a ████ about it. Yeah. My friends don't give a ████ about it. And then it's like this the only person that would talk about tuna the way I talk about tuna. I bet they're not talking about tuna though. I bet they're talking about like the only example that I've had where sometimes this new person that's like we have this like we want to talk about this thing cuz we're really into like shooting right now. Talking about technical things about shooting. I could talk to them about this for 5 hours. And then my wife is
12:38 kind of boring because right now this new shiny thing and like finally someone wants to talk about my hobby where everyone else is tired of me talking about it, you know? You know what's different too which I noticed is that like depending on someone's confidence level they have such a different opinion about stuff like this. Like you know the idea of whether or not girls or guys can be friends? Depending on your personal confidence you will have one extreme or the other on that idea. I think if some guys feel like they don't have options every girl that comes within a foot of them they think they should date them, right? If you don't have you don't have confidence or options you're like, "Oh, why would I not ████ my friend?" You know, like that's But then if you don't look at it like a like a scarce resource then you don't think about sex every girl you meet. You know what I mean? You don't? in the same way where it feels like where you're confident about yourself in
13:28 that like oh yeah, like for relationships I don't I think if you look at your current relationship as this is the best I will get and the closest I'll have to like being happy in that way you will never let it go no matter what the ████ going wrong. I think that's more of the issue because then you're way more concerned about like, "Oh, is she cheating? Is she not?" But then if you just the ████ if you're secure with yourself she cheats it's over cool moving on. You know what I mean? Like you just keep going. But then some people don't have that situation in their mind. So they can't let it go. We've all been there. Also we're only talking about our boy right here and then his girl. We haven't talked about the other dude. The other dude knows what he's doing. The other dude who's texting Well, that could be different if depending on how she describes her relationship to him though. Yeah, that's true. Exactly though. He doesn't care. He wants me to have friends like you. Who knows? They said they met at a wedding party?
14:19 She Yeah, they they met mutual. The guy was also at the wedding. And then apparently, you know, like he's aware that she's attached are the words that he wrote. Attached or like dating? Or what does that mean? Plot twist. Plot twist. He's gay. The other guy? Yeah. There you go. I like that. Or our guy. Oh, that's why girls are bored of them. That's a well that's a better plot twist. That's a better plot twist. Girls love gay guys. Who would have never been bored with him? Either way you look at it though what she's doing is not the normal appropriate thing for relationship. And if you just happen to not be that kind of guy then you don't need to be in this. That's it. Yeah. But then some guys that works. It's fine. You know, not threatening. cuz morning till night talk for 2 weeks is pretty crazy. That's that's fine. I can't think of anybody I would talk to all day like that. It's weird for most
15:10 people but But some some people really don't care. I mean yeah, cuz there's people with open relationships too. So they're full-blown ████ other people. just people that are that are kind of obliviously like doing things like this and both people just never thought of it. You know what I mean? Like sometimes people don't think about that. I think a more mature way to handle it is go in her phone text the guy say, "Let's meet up." Get a couple of your boys. And you meet him at a a parking lot. And you just duel it out, dude. Winner take all. That's what you say. Like Lionheart the movie? Winner take all. He loses. He's got to give up his girl. Yeah, that's one another way you can handle it. But honestly, I don't think it's safe. I don't think it's good. You overthinking too much about it now. Okay, bubba. That guy's a no go, man. You tell her straight up, "F███ no. ████ off." He said cuz he's been cheated on
16:01 before and I think that's the key word is that that chip that chip is there. And if she doesn't understand that like, "Oh, this is your chip." and doesn't help like compensate for that then they don't get what they're doing. It is kind of immature for her to be like, "Well, I'm a different person so you got to reset that and treat me different." It's like, "Bro, you knew that you this guy had trauma." Yeah, if he had if he's carrying that and she knows like you got to be extra sensitive to it. And she's not willing to do that for him then dude, she's a no go. Unless she looks hella juicy. And you got to fight for that ████ That's even worse then I would definitely You got to do my plan. I'll go I'll go hook hook straight and then uppercut. It looks more like you know what have something girls and guys do this, but like when you are like upset at somebody that you're with and you know their chip so you do their chip. That's what this looks more like. Cuz
16:52 they know each other and she knows what he went through and she's still doing it. That's called toxic I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a bummer. I just don't throw that word around, but I think that sounds like It's like if you know your girl was like physically abused by her ex, right? And you just keep doing the same Exactly. Like you got to have the sense to not be, you know, like That's so cruel. Cuz this is the emotional version of that. It's like I'm not cheating, but I'm doing this. I'm on the line. She's stepping on the mine. Don't draw don't do that. Yeah, that's ████ up. Dude, I'd be scared as ████ I'd flinch though. There's a one extra thing that's written here. It said would like to have the Colleen's up on it as well. Unfortunately Colleen's not here, but if you guys were Colleen what do you think she would say? Colleen's opinion would be way more harsh than ours. She'd probably be like she shouldn't be ████ talking to him in the first place. I think she'd be mad at both of them. She's like, "Stop being a p████."
17:43 Yeah. You stop being a ████ and you stop being an ████ She'd be like that. Yeah. Which is the most clearest answer ever. Well, we wish you good luck. That's what we think. No matter how it shakes out you'll be all right. You deserve to end up with with someone else with the same wavelength. You shouldn't have to worry about this part. Find a find a very quiet and submissive Be a passport bro. Just like me, dude. Go to Colombia. Go to a poor island country. Yeah. And get a immigrant. And then they're going to divorce you and they're going to be like, "What happened?" What happened? What happened to us?
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