0:00 but I was licking all over that beging away did it taste funny did it taste like metal I was so horny here the worst part here's the worst part right sensing a theme we finish whatever [Music] philanthropic everybody be honest okay what is the worst sex you ever had oh I have a lot and it doesn't have to mean that a bad thing happened like what happened to me just worse is it could have been mediocre it could have been like a you know a bad time you performed badly if you don't have like a memory of it does that mean that like you're you're bad that's what I was going to say probably the story of all the women oh my God that's what I to say you were yeah I have one very clear moment let's hear it so um I think when I was 15 and 16 I was doing crazy ecstasy every ████ day and if any of
0:52 you guys have ever tried it when you take ecstasy your dick ████ shrinks into like this pen I don't know why but it ████ like balls up into the ████ hardest smallest thing you've ever seen in your life that's what it does it shrinks it's like a collapsing star yeah like a ████ like it's getting vacuum sealed into like into ████ a kidney stone but it's hard you easy easy it's like a it's like a ████ turtle head going back into a shell that's all you hard how come it's hard I think cuz it's getting condensed like that yeah make a face and ████ um there was this girl that I we really liked and she just got our relation I just got our relationships we're trying to take it slow and then I remember the night that uh I felt like it was going to go down I
1:42 was like really really happy cuz I was super into her she was super into me and I haven't used um my dick in a while why I don't remember why because I did just get out of relationship but I don't remember why sometimes you just don't use your dick it's a funny way of putting it use it all the time but the part that the part that's a clear memory was I remember when we're going to do it I put it in feels crazy good and then I literally nut in a second like a second that sounds like a dream come true that's no it feel it was because there's so much buildup it was one of those things where like I didn't even drive yet so my homie had to drive my homie I'm like oh sh I think it's going to go down so my homie is going to help me go pick up condoms so he was like so it's like you know when you're a kid it takes so much forking uh much orchestrating to get things to happen cuzz you don't have
2:32 a car so he takes me to get condoms then we go downstairs I'm watching TV I go upstairs I'm like hey I think it's going to go down he was like ████ it's ████ like 11:00 or 12 at night I'm just just knock out on the couch so it's like this whole thing that my homie is supporting me to make this happen and then I go upstairs and then it happens and then I literally come downstairs ████ like 2 minutes later you did you let yourself and your friend down I think I let myself down I let her down and then even I was like you let him down yeah let him down I was record was pissed I don't even know what happened it was just like so like the whole film set yeah it just felt so like I didn't even know what the ████ happened it was crazy oh no why did you just go again I don't I'm not a go again just go again bro go again you need to take for you to go again also on ecstasy though like
3:23 again I also wasn't even on Ecstasy but I think I did so much it stayed with me oh residual ecstasy mess you up yeah and then and then because you came so fast that it's so like abrupt and shocking sucks that you just kind of wish like someone could go Abracadabra and it could disappear yeah but you can't you got to still got to go like oh what was that who oh yeah so you got to figure out a way to like all right next we you need an exit strategy what is that exit yeah there's still got to be you still got to exit I'll tell you what the exit is you go man this has literally never happened to me before your ████ is just so ████ bomb got to get used to this but even when you say that you feel like ah what what her
4:14 reaction like what did she say to you she was sweet and she was just like oh like that was awesome or whatever and she was like just being really like oh my God you had an Angel that's terrible that's sweet what happened is it happened again too good and the second time she said again and I was like oh got to go wanted to ████ open the window ████ just I was like what the ████ is going on were you on exy the second time I wasn't even on EX on any of the times but I just did so much I don't know what happened my ████ penis broke or something wow damn damn did you survive more than one pump next time yeah how's it now you got it under control yeah now it's regular but that was like now he survives 10 pumps no but that one was like the second time was 4X maybe maybe
5:04 less than like five pumps crazy yeah did you have another time after that or that was a I think I started taking more ecstasy and Ras half my brain I don't remember so you just went full ecstasy mode so you never saw this chick again after the second no we still we're da like we're actually together together they're married now we did so we actually I mean we did you have other more Redemption times I don't even remember my brain got fried damn that's a so this is our most disappointing SE to stories right but then that one I it was a it was clear memory of what happened I remember my clothes that I was wearing I remember my friend I was laying on the couch I remember his car because it was so like how embarrassing yeah damn it's pretty rough so doozy hearing a girl say again pretty hard ████ ████ that's that's honest even even when they try to comfort you it's okay I'm fine and they do that you're go
5:56 would you rather hear that or oh my gosh that's adorable ooh what's the context are we ████ both times they're just looking at your dick that that'll make me sad yeah as if it's a Furby yeah yeah and they just put their nose on it oh Gucci Gucci goo oh so cute jeez I don't know if I had bad sex because if I get to come it's pretty nice so no matter how bad it is for you still a dub yeah no matter how bad it is like I get to finish accompl and I'm like a it's not so bad after all right but I do remember feeling like disgusted and I went through with it anyway sometimes there's moments where I'm just so horny that I do regretful things like I remember one clear picture
6:48 of doing it with this girl and I'm licking on her ear she's ████ got a ear infection from the from the earrings what that's worst case scenario I was licking all all over that ████ ████ beging away did it taste funny did it taste like metal I was so horny but here the worst part here's the worst part right sensing a theme we finished whatever philanthropic I'm ████ sick like so sick for like a week just vomiting oh Noe ████ T you got you're licking her blood you got physically ill I got ████ ill bro I was vomiting orange and like I was dying dude and my mom was like oh you got AIDS you're ████ with the wrong girls and ████ I'm like it's not AIDS it was ears I promise she had an ear infection I probably drank ear
7:38 infection dude the infection didn't like not turn you it didn't turn you off I think when I it's like you know how some people see red when they're mad yeah I see pink when I'm horny and it just goes that's love baby it just turns me into a person where after I come I'm like why that is so gross if if Joe was a sexual stock I would sell it's funny cuz you didn't even have to lick her ear I didn't licking in the ear is like that's a elective I scoop the bottom and I can still get out but I don't know that's interesting yeah there are moments where I think like man blacks out when he's fing it you're just so horny that you're doing certain things but like things that don't even feel good I'm like why you don't care you have one sexy story just one well
8:28 it's the funniest stuff that I I know I know but you have a sexy story for us I'm not going to tell palette I'm palette the room full of guys I'm not going to tell you I'm tell you I was drinking so I was drinking like a bunch of ear fluid I'm not going to tell you guys a good story I was drinking an ear infection like gallons of an ear infection I'm not telling you guys like can I just get one SE just give me something to Cle cleanse the ballet I know we need a success story please come on I need like the ████ ginger man yeah Ginger the sushi any Ginger I've been in weird situations where I'm like you like that okay that you were against no what girl was like oh can you put on some dep pens diaper you said yes to that just a what think just of course he did you got depends on you like that
9:19 though like Joe had it in his trunk grandparents what's a Depends diaper what's it's like an adult diaper it's like for adults that sh I get I was trying to get a comes with Activia too it's like elderly people dude I got a depend diaper so what happens after I was wear a real crinkly diaper what happens is fetish ████ wets up yeah but like do you have to play the role of like a baby or something yeah he's got to put his thumb in his mouth she got to clean up that diapy he's like no I just wore the diaper I didn't play the I just put it on and went to sleep dude Jo's like a Joe's like a lazy Community Theater he put the costume on and then he he fed it in even read his lines I'm like a kid working at a pizza store and then it's like all right it's your turn to ████ be in the costume and I'm like ████ all right got to go fly the sign outside you wore adult diapers
10:10 that's pretty ████ cool there's one that was living on the edge another one another one there was one that I was like this is this is crossing the line which looking back I probably should have done it this is crossing the line she wanted me to wear the uncle chin outfit that's not C on brand that's I should have done that yeah and then act the Uncle chin did that make you feel uncomfortable when she asked you why' you say no yeah why' you say no I think it was too sacred cuz I'm like this is my you think of Bart character I'm like no this is like my YouTube character I'll do I'll do I'll put on a ████ diaper but I ain't going to put on this thing I'll let you carry me like a baby I'll let your dirty ass ear but I put that on why you put me in a song and I'll breastfeed for you but I'm not going to do that fuing I'll go to urgent care for a week but go lay in the incubator yeah I'll drink your ear infection but I'll get my stomach pumped
11:01 after this but that's about it I like your priorities bro they're pretty cool it's really good you are a giver huh anyone else got any any FS bad stories so I got a a pretty we're talking about our worst ones right yeah sure yeah I'll just say we were super drunk one time it's like long time ago and you know sometimes when you're like super drunk uh things get like really rough like you're just more down for rough it's not like Central it's a lot more just ████ ground pound like like crazy right you her home girl was like super rough and super rough to the point where like it was like it was hurting me a lot oh ████ but at the same time I'm drunk too and I'm trying to like man up to it what was she doing days what was she riding just the method it was not smooth there was no momentum upper cutting your nuts he was honestly rough she was you
11:51 like that ████ ████ was she on top it was all all all which ways all which ways she was throwing that thing back most of it was she was on top I see okay and maybe rough's not the right word because rough maybe still implies like oh it rough no this is like painful she wasn't slapping your face or not no not like that not like she's like I have a par particular set of skill h on we make you feel very un she was just hammering like way too hard okay same time I was drunk too and I wasn't trying to be like yo this hurts in my dumbass nature I was just trying to take it trying to hang with it okay yeah trying to keep up um sure but at the same time you try to match her also when when you're drunk you can like last longer so this just this was a long period like very don't make that noise dude since you can't tell us can you act
12:42 like yes it was very hard it got to the point though that sounds like it hurts it was very painful by the time I pulled up and uh pulled out and busted there was blood that came out sh you dude you're hardcore baby from you where did you RI where was you RI where were you ripped she ████ you so hard your I don't know internally she broke was it just dry you're not a virgin anymore you lost it there yeah my hman broke obviously maybe she was diaper after she probably was oh yeah maybe it bursted a blood vess it hurt and I'll sore for like 2 days after that sh you're a gangster bro thanks for oversharing hey dude ████ salute dude SI I edit delete that whole
13:32 thing Anthony let's go dude a giver through and through mine's pretty quick it was I was with the chick yeah thank you very much I was with a chick and I had her bent over and all that kind of beautiful things beautiful things and then but then I had the unmistakable smell of as Jo cow would say Kaka oh oh no you SM she ████ smell the cocka what the ████ I honestly think that she might maybe had a Mis wiping incident oh no where it was like that happen maybe perhap some residual some residual honestly like I was pretty proud of myself cuz I kept going for like at least I don't know probably 3 minutes after that do that sometimes just like this I just breathe out of my
14:22 mouth maybe I was just trying to figure it out I I I didn't place the blame yet I was just so confused was your own butthole it clearly wasn't cuz my butthole was all the way back there imagine going I know it's me it's me my bad don't me it happens sometimes cuz then when she when it was a hot day and you and it you freshly peel off her ████ pants and stuff and then you get a wolf of it that happens that happens and and it did happen and um yeah it was very confusing and for me I was just like damn I cannot continue with this so I just pretended like I couldn't keep going oh wow you try to flip her on her back or something your own male failure to get out of this he still has a boner too he's like I can't keep doing this I'm sorry basically she didn't smell the ████ how would she I think it's harder to smell well cuz she's in doggy style
15:12 if it's normal to her then had her bent over is what he said did that Crush her though some girls get crushed by that you don't tell I tell her bro what the ████ are you talking about did you pretend that's barwan by the way he's like barad's like I can't keep going and he's like your butt smells like ████ no I mean I mean you say you can't keep going some girls are like wait I don't turn you on yeah let's say something like that you figure out some alternative dialogue always that's happened yeah you take the blame you take the L right you ████ go down right you're the president's man you're like guess what dude it was me dude I had all the files and my locker and ████ I'm I'm going down right I would have pretend you don't bwan this ████ yeah you don't blame no no but girls I'm G Gordon litty dude I'm going down for the crime yeah like girls will still put it on themselves that's true that's why you got go I Came yeah all done I didn't do
16:04 that I'm finished oh I'm so sleepy she's like what are you Steph ████ Hawking all of a sudden what's you go ah and you're like oh not a lot of sperm came out cuz I came earlier today yeah why Nar you masturbated earlier right everything you say just requires more questions just so you know I'm a real dribbler if I if I masturbate earlier I dribble all the time dribbler oh God I'm double dribbler yeah just so you know I feel like yours couldn't have all been perfect no well dude I have terrible performances a lot of the time and it's usually but because I've been with my girl for so long it's very like you know very safe space Oh okay just be like it's okay and I'll just be sobbing a little bit she's like it's okay sobbing no but usually for me it's always like Nick is always a crier it's always popping dude popping a little early or not doing feeling like you
16:56 didn't do enough I don't think there's there's any embarrassment from coming too fast I don't think that's a bad thing I to me I let myself down dude cuz you're trying to you're trying to stay in the pocket and you're trying to control your breathing and then sometimes you just can't sometimes it just goes you know you want them to feel good too yeah yeah of course you want to you want to be able to hold a note but sometimes they eat her ████ yeah dude obviously but sometimes you just if you care so bad yeah obviously obviously you ████ Munch The Box dude but you know it's like sometimes you're just or be a man and just come and go to sleep oh dude cramping while you're love making is kind of really embarrassing cramp oh hell yeah cramping is embarrassing you're the one laying down you're not doing ████ like what the ████ I got to drink a whole ████ Gatorade before I go again but you know it's just like and your toes go like this and you're like
17:46 ah godamn or your calf you know how about when the Pandora commercials come on oh yeah we let them run we love it you cheap ass why don't you have premium no dude when when it's too hot I'm I'm dead I'm dead it's over ████ you I don't care too hot that's your Bane I run hot already if it's too hot I'm out oh you know what sucks what what throws me out too is when I start sweating a lot and I feel self-conscious even in like Jiu-Jitsu and I'm going to relate sex to Jiu-Jitsu okay when I'm rolling with my buds we're rolling with our Buds and I'm just like say if Joe's teaching class or something and I ████ I drip on him I feel awful I feel terrible you're nice really yeah yeah but it's like it's part of it right after you drip on him he takes you and he throws you down and he drips on you and then just ████ then I'm a I'm a c you never use sweat block
18:36 what's that it's you just wipe it on the spots that you sweat and it won't sweat really that's ████ czy okay so sometimes when you're when you're love making and then you sweat too much it it pulls me out the same way it gets oh you get he about it and you just you're just like ah like I'm sorry you know what I mean like you just feel like I'm and I sweat when I sweat I'm like I'm I'm a moist boy I watched a bead of ████ sweat go for my nose to like Nikki's forehead and I was like I'm out yeah hey you're put in some work though that's good oh I always put in the work dude I'm a ████ Nikki's an exercise machine basically you know it's on mechine bring a towel with you yeah dude I ████ you a personal trainer like get that ████ come on baby bottle of water 2 minutes faster than your last one more ref but like yeah for that I was like this is ████ up and I love look I like humiliating that ████ I do
19:28 but that was just to nothing this is gross the sweat yeah you just feel bad I I feel bad at least you know it's always a really hard thing to recover from maybe you guys have a tactic for this but like when you make the the sound when you fart not when you fart the dick in the ████ puts it put in the weird they make the sound we don't do it when you make but and I say that's on you that's that's on you that's what I say you ████ what you did that but it's hard to like laugh cuz I mean like sometimes you have the dynamic where you can laugh and like nothing gets interrupted but then like other times you don't know what to do it's kind of sometimes you make that sound because it's the angle and pushed air in I try to make that sound as much as possible let me find that angle again he's trying to make it happen it's so comfortable for her too she loves that they love
20:27 it
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