0:00 [Music] welcome back to just kidding news out of the closet or uncloseted or I like out of the closet out of the closet today we're continuing with Bart and we're going into a very fun topic which is Bart's parents getting divorced yeah this is uh the second I guess um one of the second biggest moments in my life um it's my parents getting divorce and it happened when I was six so it happened really really young and I just remember I don't know what like the true story was but I remember my aunt which is my mom's sister visiting from Taiwan and um my mom was like okay my aunt will just sleep with me Daddy sleep on the couch and for some reason
0:52 obviously you know like as we all have relationships now fights are never about the fight it's always about some other ████ explodes mom scream dad screams whatever and I pict and I I remember seeing my dad bring his hamper with a bunch of clothes clothes and the bright orange Tide detergent thing leaving the house and then me not knowing how to register it and then just realizing oh ████ he hasn't come back in like 3 months months and then going oh like me and your dad are going to get divorced um you're going to stay with me and I was like oh ████ okay and I think I was tooo young to register the like the weight of it so I don't I wasn't like sad or throw a tantrum and i' would always read like you know like at at school the teachers always be like
1:43 you know it's not your fault and I'm always like I know it's not my fault it's my parents fault so I never I never like took it upon myself like oh what did I do I was like my parents are dumb but from that point on my life trajectory changed really really weird which made me uh extremely unrelatable to all my other friends cuz all my other friends their parents live together um but me since my we had a four-bedroom house to make ends meet my mom started renting out the rooms so now they call it house hacking but back then that wasn't really a thing and you would have to like go to like the Chinese supermarket and you make like a little flyer and you you know how you like write your phone number yeah with the tabs yeah tabs and rip the bottom so growing up ever since I was a kid we would have random strangers just
2:33 circulating throughout the house ever since I was 6 years old so it' be like grandmas like grandpas middle-aged dudes young young uh like yeah just like all kinds of people all walks of life in my house um watching TV using the kitchen so like my house never ever felt like my house so that was like really weird um and there's a part of me that's like I wish I could be one of those cool liberals that have like a molestation story and I would like think about it and I but I I think I I don't think ever got molested though I wish cuz y people that be like I got molested check it out I wrote a book yeah yeah I monetized this I monetize this molestation but mze my trauma I think that's just them just being productive with their trauma but
3:23 ultimately I know what you mean but I never got I well you got physically abused I mean that's another good one by my parents yeah you could write a book on that and monetize it that's true not if you're Asian question it's too common for Asians at the time of the divorce were you do you feel like you were closer to any parent oh for sure my mom oh okay so it wasn't like my dad's like the I would say like the stereotypical Asian dad like he just comes home reads the newspaper like he has his job and you don't ████ with them get the ████ away from me you go talk to your mom about ████ like so I never really felt close with my dad the only time would be him either him whooping my ass or he randomly shows up with a big present like big gestures were my dad like he'll be like here's Power Wheels and I'm like ████ that's a big ass present and then I'm like are we going to ride it you
4:14 going figure it out he leaves I'm I'm just like cuz I have like this picture with me in like an electric car just going like oh ████ this is ████ sick and then you know then I don't have any interaction for another month can't turn it on though yeah your dad doesn't want to help he doesn't even know how to charge it I don't know beat me or like randomly like I have a memory of like my dad taking me to Redondo Beach and we're like just swimming and then that's it just like really big gestures and then the dayto day is just me and my mom was he there though like so you say you takes you to randoo beach does he just drop you off at the beach and then he goes somewhere or like was he there with you that was my there yes that's a good question I'm not too sure okay but yeah so so that part of my childhood was really weird where like whenever my friends would come over they would always be like wait how come you always have a different person and then it's it was almost kind of embarrassing you know
5:04 to go like oh we can't afford this house so my mom has to rent out the rooms and then they'll come over and they'll see one person in that first room and then like a year later it's another person in that room and then so it's just it yeah it always felt uh really weird and then on top of that because we had four bedrooms um and we needed to rent out the other three I slept in the same bed as my mom until I was 13 years old until we moved and I know Steve wants to c not going to do not going to do but pretty much we slept in and I I remember getting to like 11: or 10 or 11: I'm like man this is ████ gay and so I remember I was like how can I UNG this and I remember bringing a sleeping bag into the bed with my mom I'm like I'm going sleep in a sleeping bag cuz this is UN this is less
5:57 gay so you're next to your mom but in a sleeping bag sleeping next to her yeah what that's even gayer dude I don't know I was trying to be less gay and I was like cuz none what you be hot as hell I like none of my ████ friends have to go through this ████ everyone has their own room no one has ████ strangers living in their house like the the part that sucks would be like my mom would like chastise me about something and then the stranger would like Snicker yes right tell and I'm like I'm like dude you wait till I'm ████ 18 I'm going to kill you cuz you would like especially when they're Asian they feel like they can chime in oh ████ that's the wor maddening you're talking with their mom and then they're like listen to your mother yeah they'll be like oh like um oh I could only imagine if I said that to my mom I'm like ████ ain't nobody talking to you you know damn yeah stay
6:47 out of this so yeah that part that part sucked and then what was cool is um all my close homies knew that I had I shared the room with my mom but it was like something I kept a secret at school cuz it was so ████ embarrassing well now it's a Bragg point it's like sleeping with the mom dude that's people Google that ████ that's like hot porn topics and ████ like that now everyone wish they could yeah that's you didn't know how good you had it different era I guess gen Z all have dreams to sleep with their mom but how does your mom's like Buddhism stuff bleed into your like into that era of the divorce and all that stuff so I think that's when my mom went cuckoo where uh when my parents divorced my mom uh i' I've had had recently I've had like really deep talks with her which is cool and it always reveals funny things where like um I
7:37 would ask my mom like how come you like brought me up this way and she's like well you know when your parents split like in your mom usually they have a mom and a dad you only have a mom but I chose to be your dad cuz I always felt like how come you I never have this warmth from a mom and she decided to be the dad she overcompensated yeah I'm like why don't you just stay the mom but anyway so I guess she decided to be the dad and kind of give me this hard love and so so she adopted Buddhism and in Buddhism like when my mom Dives deep like she goes Super into stuff so she'll do like those be a monk for a day where you're like you take a vow of silence for like 24 hours um and you're vegetarian for the whole day you wake up at 5 and all you do is pray and then she'll do those for that for like two weeks long and ever since I was like seven or 8 years old I would go with my mom to those things so we'd be like like Buddha boot camps yeah Buddha boot camps
8:27 you're just ████ like chanting in this ████ like snake caterpillar type ████ formation for like 4 hours damn going like back and forth um and then you're waking up at 4: ex you steps in that's a plus Buddha boot camp dude you wake up 4:00 5 a.m. um and I remember going like I don't have my own room sounds sounds entitled I don't have my own room I sleep in the room with my mom I have random strangers and then my free time is praying and then when I come back home from school because I got into so much trouble my mom thought a demon was in me so she would conduct her own exorcisms oh my God so I'll be in the kitchen and she'll like light incense and chant ████ and then she'll like d like holy water on me and then that's when I was like dude
9:17 this life ████ sucks and I remember 8 years old I stayed I stayed home from school uh one day cuz I was sick and then I wrote this whole letter out Mom the reason why I'm going to kill myself is blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah all this all this stuff out and I got my mom's uh uh you know the Chinese Cleaver the only way I I I knew how to commit suicide was like cut your wrist and I was like this will only take one time and I've seen this cut through ████ ping duck this s███'s gangster so I remember taking it going into my mom's uh room I I left the note and then me envisioning myself slit my wrists I maybe I was like semi Buddhist or whatever I en Vision myself going to heaven and then looking down and then see my mom come home and see my body on
10:08 the floor with a pool of blood that made me cry it made me sad to see my mom sad so because of that I I put the cleaver away I went back in the kitchen and I tore I took the note and I I tore it up and then um but I was like like this close how old were you eight damn had I not had cuz I was also the same time I got kicked out again so I had had I not had that like en Envision that I would have just went through that's h a mature thing to do have that presence of mind to like actually go through with what would happen like in your own brain that's the empathy all that yeah yeah I just felt like my life was like completely not what literally like if you step out of my door cuz like we we live I lived on a street where all the friends live there so there's this like Korean kid that lives over here half Chinese half white kid that lives over here a Hispanic kid Indian kid
11:00 and I when I would go to everyone's house everyone regardless if their backgrounds were different it felt very similar you know like everyone kind of lived life the same way just in their own Indian way own white way own whatever way and I'm like out of all of these guys I'm actually the odd one out and I live my life completely unrelatable to everyone else and I just feel like this ████ ████ suck ass so that's when I yeah really really contemplated suicide when I was like uh 8 years old that's crazy I didn't even know you can kill yourself at 8 years old well if everything is different if everything is different everything sucks ass you get your ass beat every day you have strangers in your house laughing at you and then you go to school and you can't even really share like hey I live I sleep in the same bed with my mom sleeping like it's like there's just no
11:50 Outlet you know like I don't and by that time I already got kicked out of two schools so I'm already going to another school where none of those kids even live in my area cuz when I went to seros in Concordia yeah like those kids lived in my area by that time I'm already like I I live here but I go to school on this side of town so I was just like I have no one to vent to talk to relate to or anything in my life you have your own space I don't my I don't have my own space my dad's not even there um and when my when I do see my dad he whoops my ass cuz he gets updated on what I did at school did he did did he have joint like did he joint custody where he saw you like you guys had like weekends yeah whatever he can he uh he can see me on Tuesdays and Wednesdays but he didn't always he did oh he did so my dad was actually very very responsible um he always saw me on Tuesdays and Wednesdays no matter what okay and then on
12:40 Wednesday he would hide at the Ethan Allen clocks which one the Wednesdays you would hide in the Ethan Allen clocks yeah how soon after was that and on Tuesdays it was weekly no that was like that's maybe when I was like 10 10 or 11 when I shout out to that thing can you recall like what uh life felt like after choosing not to commit suicide was there yeah did it change your perspective it felt it feels weird because it it feels like either I could have ended it all or now I'm just I'm made the decision to just take it and then so I've just made the decision to just take it and and so what happens at age 14 that finally gets you out of your mom's bed and into like your you know like
13:32 your own space or whatever so I don't know why we did this but we ended up moving to another house I don't know if my mom was better financially um so we ended up moving to another house and when we moved to another house she was like hey you can have your own room so that was like oh cool I have my own room finally this was in citos yeah we moved from SOS to to another house citos um but we still had one other roommate um and it was the guy that I hated the most he ended up still going his name was Henry and I would tell my mom like dude when I turn at I'm going whoop that fool's ass um that's better than I'm going to murder him yeah yeah well that way you can get Tred as an adult that's really smart way to work around the yeah so I end up getting my own room there but even then it's still kind of weird rules like my mom didn't let me put anything
14:23 up on the walls so it's just bare she didn't she like is that like a belief like a superstition I own this house thing right she doesn't want she says if you put things up on the walls you'll get distracted and you can't focus so I couldn't put anything on the wall periodic table that's what's Happening Here I couldn't paint the walls I couldn't put anything up on the walls I couldn't decorate I couldn't make anything my own damn damn do you do that now with your spaces like do you make them your own or do you I think I'm so used to it now that I've I live with it so it's so easy for me and Gio to not get into any AR arguments over interior decoration oh yeah well that's cuz guys don't give a ████ but I'm saying do you have a space like in your house that's like you decorated in any way for you gym maybe the gym and probably that's probably why I always modify every
15:13 single car I get that's not that might be it now kind of makes sense now where like why you modify your body yeah yeah body modifications yeah I have a question for when you're a kid during this whole time that you had like a suck ass childhood were you watching other kids on TV shows M so my mom used to tape the TV tape the TV she wouldn't allow me to watch TV so she would tape it with with um with like this paper you know the FX machine paper you have to rip off the side it comes out like that with the dots on the side yeah with the dots she would tape it so I can't watch TV when I come home cuz I'm supposed to be studying and so I never got to watch any of the after school shows I was only able to watch TV after my mom came home so I only watched like Way's brother like or Way's brothers or like uh's
16:03 Brothers Family Matters or whatevers um but yeah so that would be I guess that would be like the ideal TV family right like like Full House Family Family Matters or whatever yeah so like when you saw the lives of those kids being so different from your experience how did that feel that was exactly um that made me go oh my my my best friend across the street his name is Mark he's like half white half Chinese his life is literally like that like side on the weekend yeah his dad's white so they did the right thing but you you go out you go outside on Saturday morning and the dad has his like mountain bike out he's working on it Mark's working on it his little sister is just running around eating a popsicle his older brother's like shooting Hoops you know like all just happened in the front yard and I'm like damn that's a family whereas my mom's ████ chatting and ████ the ████ the back trying to
16:54 tell me to come back inside and chat and stuff dude your mom's just a jenzy white girl like it wouldn't be that weird now just doing before it was cool ahead of time yeah and then I guess the only thing that like what what was cool was my my out with my mom is she liked things that were productive so if I was like I want to go play basketball she'll like okay go go ahead cuz she thinks it adds up to something so that was like my outlet where I could go hang out with my friends basketball or just anything like like sports hey Mom I'm going to go outside and jump rope she like sure yeah you know go go jump that was your freedom but like games and things that she thought was like yeah like can I play video games Noe I see yeah did you even have video games no I never had video games like can you go can I go hang out like what are you guys going to do we're going to jump rope together oh
17:44 yeah yeah after the after after the divorce happens do your parents ever do anything together with you again like during your childhood only when I got kicked out of schools they would both have to be there for parent teacher conferences that's the only time how romantic so you never saw your parents be affectionate with each other even when they were together um when I was little little like three or four what do you remember I remember them like like hugging or like holding hands um and I remember like one of my Fondest Memories of them together my dad had a Chinese restaurant in East LA and I remember my mom would come at night when he was closing and we would go to the Pioneers chicken across the street and get corn on the cop and remember my mom holding me and I would just eat corn on the cop while my dad's like closing up
18:37 shop that's that's that's sure yeah is that why like when you told your mom or your parents that like you were going to do like a comedy YouTube channel they're like what the ████ but then when you're like I'm going to start a gym were they like proud no cuz my mom's also religious she's like you're going to break her back you're going to break your back break your neck this is like jump rope times a million though can't win out here well it's got to be it's like you know how the Asians are you can't be to anything it's like I can't I want to be M don't that's too much just play a little bit where you can impress my friends actual nailed it dude you ████ nailed it just enough to impress my friends but if you yeah but be a doctor or something do you know what your get out of my head do you know what your dad and mom's individual actual ideal dreams were for you my mom wanted me yeah yeah yeah my mom cuz my mom's friend's son I think was that he was the kid that would be
19:27 like like like Wang Fu like just perfect Asian boy aced at every C extracurricular activity he did he got a full scholarship to USC he goes to med school now he's a doctor so now you have to call him doctor this so you have these titles and he was older than me so my mom would bring me to their house a lot so that he can rub off on me wow but it just felt so unrelatable cuz like I have like those ta type thoughts you know like if if something's presented I already start thinking outside of the box on random things and I can just see him like sit at the table like just like he's just so good I'm like damn this Fool's just so so ████ the kind of guy that we ████ up yeah I'm like I want to be but inside but inside I'm like I'm like inside I want to be a golden retriever too cuz they're so good I'm
20:18 like why am I like the ████ Chihuahua like like biting loafers and ████ you know I'm like why the ████ am I like that when did you start robbing houses uh I think like 15 15 yeah okay so that's like that's actually lines up with your you have your own room now and then you you get with the wrong kids or something and you guys just start robbing houses um no it was I think the house robbing you it's like baby steps it starts with it's like it's like it's like Multiverse oh so so when you're like eight or 9 been watching movies dude you start you start climbing you know you start climbing walls the walls that connect to other people's houses so that's like your first getting the Daredevil out of you and you can kind of see into people's houses and stuff and then you have that so you already kind
21:08 of have get your feet wet there and then when you're older and you realize people have valuable things then you're like oh I can use that skill I had as a kid and then you put cuz like you know you would climb those walls with your friends and then the first time we just climbing the wall and looking and then the next time we be like oh you want to climb the wall and jump get that ball next time oh want see that door's unlocked so it goes up and up and up and the next time like oh you want to go inside so by the time I'm like 9: or 10 I've already been inside random people's houses so when it's time to come rob a house it's like it's easy it's like oh dude this time I just got to go inside and take ████ easy don't worry folks we're we're about to get out of Bart's childhood because I think we've all been through the trauma now of it for at least 40 minutes uh but we are going to go into how B got in the military which kind of bleeds into the house robbing stuff and we will be back
21:58 after we sell you these that's thank you thank you
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