0:00 [Music] welcome back to another amazing episode of the careful boys and today we have zukio zuckerberg fabulous filipino bro hey mr zuko slash rufio that's you see what i did one of the original careful boys all right one of the original careful uh lost boys what other intros i got ████ i'll take any of that ████ uh michael jackson backup dancer as a kid dangerous but he was all right what else we got ████ faking the funk take the lead keep it coming baby the day
0:50 but i but i'm a cheerleader but i'm a cheerleader i'm good last time we talked about that one gay scene where somebody threw you up on the ████ wall ahead of me yeah i the other day we had a guest and he was like oh so who else is coming and i was like oh um dante bosco he goes wait and i was like he was like rufio what how's that possible and i was like that's true man every time i think about it like we're so like friends now that like i forget i forget like and also it's how we met because we didn't mean like so officially remember at morongo mad at playing poker yeah i had a casino dude that's right yeah with uh the manager of no you got who is he managing poreotic oh that dude yes yeah i know ooh right
1:41 which which manager that's three oh that one the shady shady we're just throwing money around oh yeah you guys were throwing this money around but you were in line you were lying i was and i was at the table who was up who was down that's what that's why you look so this is money money joe was with fraternizing with the periodic manager can we found your money i was just ████ at the table chopping it up you know but you're getting like subway or something and you're in line and i was like oh ████ that's that's ████ dante pasco and then he was like you want to go say what's up to him and then and then we just said hi and we went up at the same table and then we wound up on the same table yeah it was one of those like um cool what's up nice to meet you and then we're playing poker in the same tape do you remember that grandma that night she she was she was
2:32 chill until she loses every time she loses she was mean as i don't remember her and i love taking money from that old ████ yeah this thing is i'm usually pretty chill at the plug table joe don't give a ████ old people nothing like you try to be nice to me i like i won't you know i won't let them go i won't push them all in i won't like lean on them joe's like ████ it i'm gonna ████ take this little ████ for everything she got my wife she might be on social security joe the last money she'll ever have at least she'll have social security right yeah i just like it because i feel like on a poker table that's that there's no like there's no humanity there that's just there's no humanity no you go you're you ████ came to play that's the battlegrounds bro there's no times out like i don't care if you're a grandma i don't give a
3:22 ████ yeah and she tried to play that ████ she tried to play that nice ████ like that's we're having a great time and every time she loses she's mean bro so that's why i was just like all right was she like fine though she's a grandma dude that doesn't negate for me she could be a guilt find grandma in your life you know guilt not my style although stevie weeby says that he really likes older ladies because he knows he could bust inside and not get him pregnant [Music] whoa wow that's true there's something with our bodies that you know you know time has changed they're getting older and they stand you know it fit longer as you get older do you feel you find yourself attracted to older ladies well if he gets older they get older too yeah they're all saying maybe we all get home as you get older do you find yourself still thinking like 18 year
4:12 olds are hot as ████ look at this trap he said he got just it's a question i don't know he's not gonna relate to you on that man beauty is beauty see this is why he's ████ in zuko dude i got a question for you guys okay so if you miss your ex-girlfriend and you fantasize about her you're not a pedophile don't why are you doing that don't do that don't do that if you miss her from time to time just for moments right yeah and it was that time in your memory when you were 16. when you're 16 14 whatever junior high i got my 16 year old hat on does that mean you're not a pedophile because you went back in time or are you a pedophile because she's underage now and you're fantasizing about it you're not going back in time it's a memory
5:03 it might just flash through your head at that time you're not like like okay in order to access my memory i have to become a pet so you're young in your head too i think i think either way you just keep that to yourself uh i'll tell you how to remedy that how you remedy that is you just go on facebook and look for her right now and then and then you go all the way back to when she was yeah and then you'll see the modern ████ you're like oh ████ it'll snap you right back ████ just that ████ she's got three kids and it's successful ████ like all the time that i reminisce about sucking on my mama's titties i don't go like oh yeah she was amazing when i was 38 mm sucking on my mama's titties i think the baby bar oh that was so nurturing why do i feel like the baby bar's still there you understood the nourishment breast milk as a baby i don't know i mean this is too much stress for me man
5:54 my girl is like 13 years younger than me right which is still in her mid-30s but still like it's just we have some friends that you know the dating ████ goes all over the place when you start thinking my friend that girlfriend's like 20 years younger than her but he's like 50 and she's like 30 something she's still old as hell but but still like think about that is he you know back in the day be a pedophile in his mind yeah true well yeah i mean that means it's like when you were ████ 14 she was like right crazy but like we're not going to do that math no don't do that math not 14 13 i said god oh you said you're right yeah are you trying to say that they should just make pedophile illegal no is that what you're trying to i thought you were just couldn't find the right words or something no no no no no no i remember to find the right words i remember one time
6:44 i was like passionately like making out with this girl just i said i said some super corny ████ i was like oh my god where the ████ you been all my life and she's like underage damn she has good crowd work yeah yeah yeah good crowd she's a comedian stop so fast and we started laughing so hard and i started tearing up ████ dying dude because it's hilarious imagine the other one damn where you've been all my life over age didn't now as a person underage did you ever hook up with someone overrated oh we talk about that we tried let's hear your version we already talked about it now now that you're obviously there because you've got superstars dude his is different because he was famous yeah i would like to win a writer no i was 16 i was dating this 26 year old which is weird was my dream whoa i wanted to all but i lied about my age
7:36 i was saying i was 18 nights i mean that tiffany amphitheater of course when i was 16 i look like i'm probably 12. but who was it who's it nobody nobody nobody you know you're younger in hollywood you you're around adults all the time so you're like around older yeah so it's a so so so you me you're you're dating a ████ grip but you're the wardrobe you can get a wardrobe or hair makeup look look we know why you're here we know why you're here dante everybody wants the hollywood secrets i know it's secret like everyone wants we know you got secret studios y'all gonna get me in trouble because i got cons and ████ and people be saying i saw you on jack kenny's oh no that's what jk news is about we couldn't uncover the news i literally at every con now a few people come up to me and be like i ████ with you because i see you on jk see they ████ with you and i'm
8:27 like looking at this person like these ████ are trying to get me in trouble on that show will you tell us more about this 26 year old no she was just cool yeah the key grip how'd you beat her now that guy's been at a party i don't know if she's a fan or not but you know i was just i was lying about my age the whole time you know she was a fan were they from the lighting department you said you were 16 at a time i was 16. you're you're looking at you're like i'm 12 ████ no i was like i'll send them 19 20 or something i'm like you know you're like i'm 20 then now i'm 19 like i'm 18 and they're like was this after hook that's after hook she's like calling me oh my well i had a pager back then right she's like paging me and i'm like she's giving you boobs i'm calling her from high school like well i'm at school right now she's like what call i mean at college i'm like uh yeah yeah i'm at long beach city college i'm a grad student what if she was lying about her age and she was also underage that would be hilarious dude you can't
9:18 win with that's too big of a lie i'm 26. there's no nothing you just you just take people out their word and i remember abg's back then always lied about being part filipino when they were just chinese or something what advantage is that because it's hot like all the girls on import tuner were some filipino girl i never knew that maybe it's uh hold on we got roofio fans here oh yeah yeah oh where did it go somewhere it was under the car under that mercedes oh you took it in to protect it i mean i told you yeah the world's a good place no no there's an evil ass ████ who finally had guilt right up his spine and it was like i better give this ████ back because
10:09 these thin ass walls got holes in them yeah no way yeah was here now i choose to believe in the world as being hopeful i hope they hope they can keep their stolen possessions that's what they hope there's good people when's the last time you stole some ████ that was a long time after we already got back come on baby you know what are you doing yeah i got the dog in here too hey remember look at you so somebody pick up the dog and show the world oh the dog's here we gave him a lot of chicken remember when we were joking i don't want to scare him he looks scared is this is he is he is he is he a random dog no he lives he does he came here before let's bring it back to dante because everybody everybody's been asked in the comments everybody wants to know how many fans you ████ damn everybody else each one of my fingers is going to represent the
11:00 denomination of 10. it's ted each yeah what's that this is 40. and i think you guys all got me that's all artists there's a dog here there's a dog here somebody brought a dog in here oh my god is this a dog dante was about to give us how many girls did you ████ die [Laughter] no fans out dude it's not good to ████ fans i think i think the ████ paradigm dude go away no i think so i mean look you guys are you guys all have fans everyone has fans here don't worry about us you have the most though but everyone has fans this is the deal i think that i really honestly think there is a relationship that we have with the fan base and you shouldn't violate that
11:50 relationship by well what the ████ has joe been doing his whole life it's not a violation it's extra access it's a it's the highest year of patreon the highest patreon you were but you were in a relationship for so much of that i know but the other thing is because there's too much expectation you know what it is too much you can never live up to that we can never live up to that i like so the difference is i don't like die hards and mega fans i like someone who's like oh oh you know i think i saw a video yes i think i yeah that's not really a fan that's just someone who you don't think people want to ████ have sex with this guy and be like hey when you bust can you please crow
12:40 has that ever happened that has never happened that's never happened you ████ cool you didn't find me bro did tell me she was in love with me since she was 15 like in the middle of the situation damn oh wow i didn't really you know you didn't know what's going on and you're like oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa damn and then you crazy maybe we should be doing that oh we crawled all right that's when you stick your thumb in her butt oh i get in my head too much you know i have a simple guy ah let's focus on more wholesome things yeah you were recently in hawaii being a pastor complete 180 dude i was not a pastor and an how did that happen that's crazy i thought you had to be a priest to do that well aj raphael and his wife alyssa now rafael they asked me to officiate their
13:30 wedding in hawaii of course you know like he's like my little brothers i'm like 100 let's do it but then i'm not obviously i'm not a priest or anything or a minister so we have to go find a way to get that done a few clicks of the internet and i'm ordained i'm ordained i can do this now you could do it over and over again now i'm minister for hire y'all just hit me what do you got what do you got to click just the traffic lights no no yeah yeah new traffic lights for sure which one's a boat i don't know it's really easy i'm gonna call the crosswalk i did like some non-denomination i mean when you think about it's all just like i don't it's weird the whole wait so even though they're filipino they didn't do like a a catholic type of serious traditional a few different weddings why do filipinos have 10 weddings i think they have a church this is just like gosh so they already did like the veil and the bees that represent the whatever the ████ and you came in you're like this is the homie wedding i did a
14:20 couple crosswalk clicks and ████ like that identified the bicycles you're right and then your man it was really very simple it was surprisingly simple to become i mean what is it anyway what kind of power is do i you know i said the power invested in me what power is that that's like cameo now right yeah i don't even know you said that whole speech too with the power of this i i didn't say i didn't just i did something that claimed them man in white and i signed the marriage certificate i also signed the marriage so there's some powers wow so i was like you gave him an autograph too yeah that's a two-for-one you could sell that i'm surprised he didn't do a lost boys themed wedding you know it's like such a waste you have dante he could have been rufio and then you could have done a lot we were in hawaii we we were in the jungle we were in the jungle like you come in jurassic park you come out butt naked right and then there's just like a little bamboo armor and it's just all
15:11 hanging there and you walk through it's like oh so invested in me when i be sick as ████ and you get to save money on the banquet invisible food dude it's make believe this is true so there was a lot of musical stuff going on yeah yeah and like singers all everyone i feel like everyone in the damn movie i mean everyone in the damn movie and then the wedding could sing seem like i'm sure like yeah that's so cool man the tupac of uh hawaii the good morning hawaii guy yeah yeah the good morning is that him chloe kai yeah i see the tupac because he's the most like played artist there i guess is he no because tupac's the most played artist is he dead no
16:01 he's like he's like rv he's more like yeah nsync of hawaii or some ████ i don't know right next to each other he's like classic r b his voice is crazy he was starting soon i didn't realize how old he was i listened to all his music and it sounds like a like a young guy's voice yeah and you see him and you're like dude this guy's like a news anchor i mean dallas reigns that's a funny comparison that's an adult of our news anchor he got a news anchor look but he got the voice of like a like a young kid so is that this yeah yeah are you planning are you planning on being an officiant for more weddings was that something like you enjoyed or is that something that you're like i'm gonna do this for my boy i'm careful i do it for aj that's it before the power runs out that's it i mean i have to renew the power i think yearly oh that's how they get you it's like a licensing fee it's like crossfit it's
16:51 like exactly i got to do that for hawk's wedding coming up next month you're officiating cool you have power i got to do the same thing you did not yet no are you guys best friends getting married that's awesome yeah you going to do it like an sda church no it's yeah he's happy he's having a crazy ass destination wedding like where morocco is artsy ████ man that's very hot you know that's very muhammad it's very hot yeah how come no one asked me to officiate it i'll do a good job i think you guys who officiate david you got david you gave david power to officiating yo he was just he was actually gonna be a pastor that's why he already had the david was gonna be a pastor isn't that crazy to flock he was gonna have morals isn't that he has morals though that's so cute of you no he's not he's not like a ████
17:42 degenerate like me and joe he has morales yeah he just talks big and goes crazy but he's not he's never like ████ i don't know he's a he's a son he was gonna be he was gonna be a pastor yeah yeah but he did stand-up comedy instead yeah he's a church youth leader he got good morals yeah i know a lot of koreans that are hella good christians they're like hella good christian koreans hmm there's a lot of koreans that are hella good christians yeah that's what david saw though koreans love church and golf it is fascinating church and goals yeah you see like the korean sounds the same jesus being korean like in korean like how the ████ did jesus get to korea there was like literally i'm in new york and like this is also sitting next i was like walking down street and i was like a korean lady i was by koreatown she was like disseminated in the streets for like jesus like middle-aged cream and i
18:32 was like looking at her like i heard they did how the hell i'm like that's like the crusaders on hollywood boulevard they're all korean the ones that shouted you would have the signs there are westboro baptists dude faith is cool whatever i'm just like damn so that's taking it to another level you guys ever seen that movie silent or silence what andrew garfield or some ████ um you want to talk about that i know andrew garfield thank you he was fine man yeah i know he's like he's like this uh christian priest goes on a mission to this land right trying to spread the early gospel at this time where it's like uh they ████ you know if they don't accept you then they're gonna ████ put you down yeah so then they like i think it's in asia too it might have been crazy i don't know but they ████ um said he's got to denounce his religion of christianity and stuff like that so then they put him in like torture sequences they like put him in prison and stuff and the entire time he has to like silently continue his faith
19:23 and stuff and i watched his like a three-hour movie this drama i watched that airplane jesus christ produce i watch it and then you just it just ends and he like dies spoiler alert and he dies hopefully holding on to his faith and there's nothing that makes you feel good about it or inspires you in any way is that the point really thought that i wasted like three hours of my life but did you cry is that the point of the movie though isn't that isn't that the message maybe maybe but i think that's how you're going to feel at the end of your life right i'll throw my faith away for anything yeah you literally scared me right now ryan is wild no i'm just kidding we're all going to heaven we're filipino we grew up having fake catholic faith which is also very questionable i already did the full lap man i'll abandon my faith for a good deal man
20:14 like what what's the minimum buddhism at 50 off yeah like give me two give me like ten percent off msrp i'll abandon my faith i'll be whatever which faith are we talking about anything what do you think i am i don't know i don't know which faith you are i found out i was buddhist without being buddhist the way i think oh you did a survey yeah what i thought i was i found out i was buddhist without being like harry potter i'm probably closer to buddhism too yeah after i studied buddhism i was like oh ████ this is kind of like naturally what about atheists i guess so that's agnostic i guess so i was always like before you really want me to be in this bible situation i need you to point out where it says filipino [Laughter]
21:04 our korean like i need you to like say where they ████ with any asians and said this also pertains to the asians it's two and then it is zero like you need to before i'm following you to the ████ gates of hell i need you to say follow me show me where the ████ city is you need some brother yeah this is a representation i there's not no representation it's just jewish and romans there's all these people roaming but also we're going to meet some asian people later on when we get there y'all are ████ with me too we're going to cross that street nope not even i'm not following we need yeah they had giants in the bible they had giants were they chinese the filipinos then yeah exactly but wouldn't it be crazy because i get it i do get to buy one people like oh the romans is like you know that's where i'm from i'm like romans and jewish it seems like the jews like oh that's part
21:54 of our ████ yes your promised word yeah [Laughter] right and then he was trying to like preach to me and then he said like um you know have you like gotten a christian and i was like no i had this one question that couldn't be answered he goes what is it and i said so if like christianity happened and then jesus came what about all the people before that like all the mayans in south america all the asians everybody else uh they never heard the word of god so do they go to heaven he goes no you have to accept jesus christ in your heart and i'm like that's a mean god because there's a lot of people that never had a chance to know him and they just died so
22:45 they're just going to hell by default because they never had the chance and i'm like i can't believe that religion yeah that's something hey look it's paper thin that's why praise to be allah so how many fans you ████ though the dog was asking not us [Music] you
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