0:00 [Music] there's a pennsylvania home that recently went on the market for about 300k it comes with three oceans [Laughter] three of them atlantic pacific and indian no mediterranean actually no daniel oceans oh he's sexy who's dan let's talk about that for ten minutes frank ocean oh that's jorge clooney all right top three oceans everyone right now frank ocean daniel ocean indian ocean that's pretty good have you been to the indian one that's pretty good flew over it i want to go to indian though it must have been a really good time you had he's a top ocean i like i like franco billy ocean no one's that old anymore what's the ocean uh where uh indonesia is is that the pacific oh could you talk about bali yeah that's a great ocean good ocean
0:50 nice warm one or is that a c i don't ████ know okay nobody knows the answer actually oh so pennsylvania huh yeah so it isn't oceans what special feature do you think this house has that makes it worth 300k because the average home because average home is what like 60 grand or something uh they are pretty cheap but uh not that this thing particularly makes the value go up but there's a very stand out feature it comes with a bengal tiger it has a moat philly cheese steak maker like a guy hey anytime you want it i'm in here he says that all the time any guesses a giant marble bathroom with a tub and a fountain in it that's like unnecessarily gaudy has a taco bell in
1:40 it that'd be sick yeah a cantina though talk about cancer what celebrity has a taco bell in their house and richie rich from the movie he had a mcdonald's right richie rich for the movie oil digging thing the thing is so far uh steve's the closest because no i'm gonna keep guessing what do you say what'd you say amando's they got a nando's in there what'd you say that was so cool he said taco bell it's a sonics uh no it's actually it's it's not that he's close because of naming taco bell but he's close that you could potentially put one in there because look what this house has let's let's take a little home tour shall we right imagine this is the house you just bought yeah okay well that's a nice room right not bad not bad so far come on homeowners you guys the only ones that would really 300 grand that's a ████ dream dude well how
2:30 come the other house had it was just green grass wow that's a nice bathroom yeah here we go what's that little wood guy over there on the left oh it's a tunnel oh a secret door anything with a red circle around it you know it's gonna be good i'm probably gonna click on that there's a secret passageway is it ghost in there so oh it's a wine cellar it goes into a strange little cave a sex dungeon that goes that far deep and has stairs going down into more caves no ways this is a bad cave did they make a bad cave down there if they have a ████ bat cave i will move there i can buy this house right now i'll bob i'll move there sell your ████ 300 geez it goes even further down and then that is the end of the cave oh that's that's not quite the bad aka where the taco bell begins
3:21 [Laughter] underground taco bell experience isn't that that's pretty ████ rad right it like goes into the into the mountain it's built against and like it's yeah that thing was built so it's not a natural cave so you're putting ████ monitors down there getting your little batcave situation going on then yeah but don't you think like the the service would be really difficult you know what i mean that looks like a dungeon just you could just optic it all the way in i'm just trying to be realistic here okay just pull the line the fiber optic line is telling your brain some of us aren't as privileged okay you go to a ████ a best buy and you buy like a hundred feet of cable for like 25 bucks and a bunch of extension cords and then you go and what you do is you tell your wife don't go in there that's my jerk room [Laughter] that's good wives never respect the jerk they don't respect the jerk room they don't even let you have one it's like even mentioning it just fantasy wise
4:11 what are you guys really putting down okay there are we putting in the cave the arcade okay that's it you gotta go that far just to ████ play neal i put my crypto battle station down there i probably put a bunch of ████ little ant miners because probably nice and cool in there but will it reach because of service antennas on top what do you put back there bart i don't know yeah you're a lamb looks pretty big i mean uh mirrors probably a few love sacks looks like a good love sack ideally what i would want is i think a bat cave my ideal bat cave needs another exit in case i need to sneak out in the middle of night to get krispy kremes well you just better keep on digging so that's why so what i would do to expand on expand on the batcave and then drill
5:02 a little hole somewhere else hopefully i can find an exercise a little trap door i'm going to buy a batmobile you guys are going to see you guys will see and when i do step two will be something like that which batmobile you're going to get 19 19 batman 100 that's the best one for sure hands down i thought plus it's got the little wheel ball that comes out into a bomb i heard the new one is actually sick because it's something that you could actually just own and drive the robert pattinson looks like a mustang yeah it looks like um a challenger kind of that's what they told me i still like the keaton one better yeah he was the best one how are you gonna drive on ████ atlantic dude you just don't drive honestly like ████ you just don't drive there you got a batmobile you're not going to take it to monterey imagine trying to ████ like park the batmobile yeah like forget it or even in l.a wrong shape yeah so this place eliminates itself as a bat cave because there's no exit
5:53 what else could it be it'd be really inconvenient but it would be sick to have like an illuminated giant fish tank down there oh i saw a fish tank for piranha flipping i one time out of business me ████ looking at houses i saw a fish tank bar and it was like sick that's ████ sick no one's got any evil ideas or something like this all these ideas like obviously you have like bdsm ████ i think that's where most people's minds were going because they still don't know what it used to be it looks like a wine cellar no because unlike what they say on the jk news reddit i'm not my evil [Laughter] bart admits to being pure evil indirectly but we are ████ though [Laughter] we're not evil but we ████ yeah so they're right some of the time
6:44 looks like it looks like it could be a bunker as well okay there you go that's a nice thing in case there's like some kind of a missile attack or something yeah yeah you should also keep like your you know weapons and ████ there preppers would love this ████ but preppers love this crappers twinkies and ding dongs and ████ yeah things that last forever zombie apocalypse you up but it does suck that there is no alternate exit i mean that is kind of wow was there not two wooden things or is just one way in one way in and then you just dead end at like a you know what about you booby trap it you ████ indiana jones style booby traps so that you're always constantly in china yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you know what i mean the giant rock just in case you know what you mean someone chases you down there that's your panic room i have a use for it what i would do is i would take the stairs out make it nice and smooth slide no no buy the highest
7:36 quality water i could find dump it in there and then get throw a pail so that way i have my own well and so i'll make it hard but it's still high quality like fiji water that's a quality that's a bar idea and that one when i'm thirsty i go gia i'm so thirsty because i have some water and she has to get it from the well she reaches for the fridge and you're trying to take this back to the nile river you're trying to have her go pale water for you when you're thirsty you were getting close to a good idea i think i think like the youtube channel me and joe watch where these these dudes like hike out in the jungle and they ████ start building like a little kicking at things making water vietnamese guys those dudes are ████ the best you watch them in like 3x speed yeah they build like this little temple and they fill it with water and they ████ start swimming all around it that's what you do in there i'm going to swim around see these videos can you just send it to
8:27 the group chat because i want to see what these videos are they don't pop up on your feed i feel like everyone has seen this like primitive technology i don't get that my algorithm is very different anytime i'm on youtube or like tick tock we'll stop looking up men's butts it's for my job it's part of my work there's butts in these videos we're talking about you're always getting the top 10 grapplers getting lost in the passion top 10 grapplers who got lost in each other's eyes while tussling double leg to a ████ i love ryan asking nick that's outside all serious and stuff just like hey when you ever like get into the the depth of grappling do you ever get like lost in the passion where you're like ████ it let's just kiss i asked him that outside or you go what was your question that you would ask me like as we're grappling and then the other guy goes i was like are you
9:18 feeling this too just getting hot are you feeling what i'm feeling i want to know if that ever really happens you get really close and you're like like when you're both in the zone yeah when you're both in the zone and then one guy just kind of like you know that's what it looks like fighting anybody in my opinion s███'s ████ hilarious dude i watched him against like who who's that guy everyone talks about like gracie the dude those guys want to ████ so bad that's the whole thing they keep fighting each other they just can't get out of their system they see the opponent yes oh he's in my bracket yeah would this would this be a nice place to do your personal training yeah that'd be cool yeah but you know at the same time it's like i'd rather save that for some other cool ████ like you know you don't be sick for that actually ████ illegal majung like betting asian moms love that you guys want to play mj yeah you play yeah i mean i'm not great but
10:09 yeah i'm not great either but you guys want to read chinese dude that game is pretty weird i know but you could remember just a question chinese ████ on that thing it's easy though do they match or not some of them are like numbers too where like you know you can see the one two and three we should all play mj that's fun bro there's one man in this room who hasn't spoken up about what he would do with this cave and it's the most joe thing i've ever heard about what the ████ would you do with it oh man a ████ backs back there you know what i mean oh dude all i could think about is like uh like a torture dungeon yeah like something fun you know like a torture dungeon oh dude i'd have all the best medieval equipment in there to throw some people that i just want to people that wrong ████ up yeah dude like the stretcher ████ enemies enemies enemies people that ████ you over people in my past people in my present man they're gonna get ████ oh man they're getting tortured so
11:01 [Laughter] you won't see me for a week well yeah have you ever heard the neighbors app where like you store things for other neighbors in your garage and they pay you oh yeah like don't you like parking their yacht on your ████ garage or some ████ yeah i think you could turn this cave into that but only for like disposing dead bodies oh yeah because it's harder to find dead bodies than someone else's residence like they hardly ever check you see those people that make dungeons with their ████ prisoners in there no one knows for 20 years like that should be perfect what's the last guy do with it it looks like he just left it there they don't know that's the crazy thing like uh the last time this house went for sale was 1998 how much do you think it sold for in 98 50 000. this is 300k today how many square feet a hundred thousand a hundred thousand fifty seven thousand dollars it is i think the total square foot is twenty one hundred oh okay for
11:51 the property fifty grand yeah wow 58 grand oh yeah 50 58 000. you're a human zillow now he gets it first oh sorry you're the closest to my best but that was a better guess that was great bart that was so good that was such a good guess i totally overlooked anthony's cat thanks to bart [Applause] thank you [Music] [Applause] [Music] you
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