0:00 [Music] Welcome back to an AITA episode of the Ke Boys. A I Oh, hell yeah, brother. Am I the Come on, bro. Come on, dog. Good show, man. Keep up. I like this is your show, dude. What an intro. All right. So, I, 19year-old female, still live at home with my parents while I attend college. I like it. I like it. Double down. She's in college. You said while I attend. How about this? Everyone has to pick one first. Is she a No. No. No. Pick one before. That's the whole point. Pick if she's a ████ or not. I think she's a ████ I think she's spoiled. I think she 19 19year-old female. She's spoiled.
0:51 What do you think? Uh, spoiled. I think she's I think she's not. I think she's a No. You say she's a I don't think she's I say she's a ████ Okay. Everything's locked in. The table. That's the nice table. No. No. Mine's answer Mine's different. We're We're on different sides. Mine. Mine. Final answer. Spoiled sucker. I think she's a sweet, sweet girl that's misunderstood and she's getting taken advantage of. That's why I Okay. Okay. I still live at home with my parents while I attend college. I pay for my own tuition and contribute to household expenses. Points for Nick. I ████ up. Oh my god. You guys are all cooked. You guys are all pieces of ████ But keep going. Okay. But since my school is local, living at home saves me a ton of money. Good. Smart. She's a frugal girl. I could already tell she's spoiled. Recently, my older sister, aged
1:42 27, had and her two kids, five and three. Yeah. Five and three, moved back in after her divorce. She's struggling financially and my parents are letting her stay here rent free until she gets back on her feet. Why is she paying attention so much? I get situation. I've been helping out with the kids when I can. The issue is that my parents want me to give up my bedroom so my sister's kids can have their own space. Ooh, so where's she going to stay? And my sister's already taking the guest room, so the kids are currently sleeping with her. My parents think it would be better for them to have their own room and are asking me to move to the couch or make do by squeezing into their office space. Okay. I said no. I've lived here my whole life and this is still my home. Spoiled. It's turning, dude. It's my walls are
2:34 caving. I need my own space, especially since I have a heavy college workload. I don't see why I should be the one to sacrifice my room when the situation isn't my fault. My sister is upset saying her kids are uncomfortable and my parents are disappointed in me for not being more understanding. Now the whole house is tense and I'm wondering if I'm being selfish. She's being selfish for sure. Yeah. She just went through a divorce. What the she she can go to Starbucks? Yeah. Go to Starbucks because if it's for family and it's only temporary cuz she's only going to be in college for however many years. How do you know it's temporary? I mean it's a local school so this is just her home. Yeah. Well cuz eventually you're going to move out. like you're not going to be there forever. Just just give the room up for now. And then Ken, do you still live at your parents house? I do. But the thing is when there was a time where we had a smaller house and there was no room for me and I was like, you know
3:25 what, ████ it. I'll take one for the team. I I got the couch because I knew that, well, my brother's going to get upset if he doesn't have his own room and my parents and blah blah. So I was like, you know what, to save the whole house from being in like Discord, I'm just going to take one small action and give up whatever for for the time being. And it only, you know, it was only for a few years, but it's better for the whole house. You took a couch for a few years. You're selfless. How old are the kids? And I was in high school. I was in high school. An ████ That's different. How old are the kids? Five and three. Yeah. But the thing is, what I'm saying, they need their own room at five and three. Uh, it's tough. Five maybe. They're they need a playroomous and you're a parent. That's crazy. Well, cuz one one question I have is like, okay, she gets her own room, right? And then the kids have their own room, right? Why does she need her own room? The mom, what is she doing all day? To process
4:16 her divorce. That's what I'm wondering. What would be her situation then if she didn't have her own room? It might be for the kids to have their own room to go like play and like do stuff, not be around like a dark cloud all day. Cuz I think the kids need a like they do probably need a kids room. don't want to deal with the mom that's like going through this distress right now and whatever, you know? She can't just be like nurturing all the time. Yeah. No, I'm just wondering like if she's got work, right? That's an empty ████ room. Yeah, you're right. She's just go she just needs a place to sleep. So why do the kids need a separate room and she needs a separate room if they're just using that house to sleep? That's that's what I'm wondering. You would turn the mom's room into the kids' room and the mom sleeps on the in the office. Well, cuz Well, no. No. Like they sleep together and then the kids the like the
5:06 the kids could stay in the room while the mom goes to work. The the kids are three three-year-olds just going to stay in the room with the I mean the family, right? Like so that's what I'm thinking is like so I think it depends on the upbringing they're trying to have. So like I could see it from like many many ways. Like one I could see from the 19-year-old. She's like, "I've had imagine like the movie in act one is just her and her parents. They have their own dynamic. This is our house. This is status quo. It's comfy." Then in comes this new uh I guess intruder, but it's your sister and your family and it disrupts the whole thing. And then now you have to get removed from your space. And then so now it's like it was supposed to be your house and your parents house. And then now you're like, "Well, ████ it's not even my house anymore. or I'll just give everything up to you and it's your go. So, I could see that point of view. I'm not saying what's right or wrong. I can just see
5:56 her point of view where it's like this was our space and I guess you're supposed to come, but now it's all yours. Um, I could see that. The other one I could if I'm if I'm with the more practical minded, I'm with Joe. Like, dude, this what the ████ you need all these ████ rooms for? You guys are one household staying here, the one mom's working. Um, but if the mom is the type to be like, I don't want this divorce to affect the kids upbringing and I want everything to still be normal and I want them to have a room with play things and still look colorful and all these primary colors, then I get why they want a kids room so they can still have so that way the kids can live in a kid's room versus a kid growing up in a boring ass adult room like the way we probably did. And also in a in a crazy time where they're moving out from being a divorce and it's like Yeah. And it's like, you know, it's a lot for kids at that age. So, it's probably like, all right, let's try to make this at least
6:46 like a facade or whatever you want to call it. I don't think she's an ████ but I also think she's not very like she's not seen a bigger picture. There's a bigger picture there. There's accommodation and it's like you're also having this sense of entitlement, like believing that this is all yours, but which is normal for a 19-year-old. Exactly. So, to me, there's a sense of entitlement. It leans more towards the ████ side than the other side of like, you know what, I understand the bigger picture. This is a sacrifice that I need to make temporarily just so everybody can be happy. See, that's a that's more mature decision, I think. But how long did she does she have to couch surf for? There's it's indefinite. There's no like clear a divorce, right? You don't know the way I struggling financially, young kids. Like, who who even knows if the mom has a job? Could be two years. It could be three years. What if that uh what if that mom was a a
7:36 stay-at-home mom to take care of the kids and that's why she's struggling with financial needs to move back because the divorce was like ████ I don't even have a job. Yeah, I think it's actually the failure on the parents for sure because like there in a time of crisis, everyone's supposed to pitch in, right? Not one person is supposed everyone's inconvenience from the situation. I'm sure the the sister doesn't feel good about it and then she doesn't want to bother them, but then the fact that the girl doesn't have to change absolutely anything about this does feel selfish. That's not the real world either. Cuz once you get out there, nobody's going to give you handouts like that. So if the parents teach them like it's okay to give up certain things for the greater good, like that's a better lesson, you know? Well, I it's it's it's it's like so the parents are coming in, they're
8:27 pitching in with the kids, right? So the sister um you know, she could do homework at college or whatever and then it's like, what is she doing to pitch in? Does she say she watches the kids? She helps out, but she still got like she goes to college. Yeah. Her her biggest pain point is not having her own space and then her having to study for school. And it's like, yeah, those are definitely that'll shake your life up. But out of the grand scheme of what everyone's dealing with in the household, you can figure that out. Exactly. And that's part of you just being a ner like you got. It teaches you how to problem solve on your own. And instead of just saying, "Oh man, they took this from me." And complaining and whatever. burrito. If I was the neutral uncle that came in, I would say like out of all the age groups, you're the most mobile. Yeah. Like, you're probably ████ five dates
9:19 away from sleeping at your boyfriend's house anyways, you know? So, like, why make this a like stand my ground, this is my thing, when like you're like, "Yeah, it's not a big deal." Yeah. Once you start dating some dude, you're probably sleeping over there. You're going to have an empty room anyways. It's like you're you're so mobile. It's like a mature person who understands that. Like to truly be like sympathetic to like this 19-year-old kid who's like that's been my room my whole life now. Just like you know like won't grow up. But you got two kids though. You got two kids that need a spot to like a place to live. Like did you just go through a divorce? Like those are big events for sure. I don't I can't say so much like you're an ████ but I'm like hey you have like a hero moment that you could step up. But she even said it at the end of her she Yeah, that was a big one. Like she said at the end of her thing
10:09 like, "Can I be more supportive?" And I think the answer is, "Yeah, you could help. You could help out." I think she's focusing on the wrong ████ cuz like, yeah, this is my space is not a good argument. If she goes, you know, uh, going into medical school or whatever it is, I'm I have to study ████ 6 hours a day. And so removing me from this isolated area into an outside area like and I don't and then maybe if she's like my university is a 2 three-hour drive. So like it to me it's local but yeah sure. Yeah. Or like if if if everything is centered around not disrupting my optimal performance in my work then that would be a more adult like argument. It's like, but then if she's going, "My comfort," because that's what it sounds like. My my familiarity and my comfort and my privacy, um, you're taking that
11:00 away from me. Then it sounds like a childish argument cuz it's like, well, that divorced sister of yours, her whole up world is her whole comfort, her whole house is gone. The children, yep, that's all gone. The stakes are higher. Like, what are you talking about? Your parents, you think they want to have their daughter come back in the house? They don't want that. I actually think the parents are are the heroes by letting her even come back and like trying to figure this out, problem solving, knowing that like the daughter is this way, but ████ it. Like I have two daughters. I got to love both of them the same way and take them in, you know? Does the 19-year-old wear booty shorts? Can we check that? Yeah, we have to check that. Apple F. Apple F. Yeah. 4 in. 4 in. That's crazy. 4 in seam. That's crazy. Cuz then she might be innocent then.
11:54 It's an interesting complex to try and uh be in a family situation when you're young and like step into a hero role when you don't like necessarily. It's not like you don't have to. If your parents aren't like you have to move and you have no choice. It's not like a like you have to move. It's like no I don't want to. Well, you have to. Yeah, this is like a no, I'm not going to and like stand your ground and there's like this awkward tension that they're just letting her stand your ground on it, right? I don't know if they're white, but I never had a choice. Yeah. So, like it sounds like they're white though. We know we ain't ████ paying rent or doing anything. Exactly. You have no right. But even if you are ████ paying rent, it's still not your choice. Like, she's saying she pays her own tuition and contributes to household expenses when she can. When she can is a big question mark, though. Yeah, but then some Asian families like you're
12:45 still ████ paying rent and you don't have control over who lives where. That's just the parents go this is probably the best way. So you ████ And then you live in the garage. Yeah, for sure. And you live under the ████ Harry Potter Potter stairs and you live in the attic. Yeah. Yeah. I think when you put the innocence of children into play too, like especially if you're like an aunt or an uncle. Yeah. It's like same thing. You could be that person's like like they won't understand it yet, but you can be a huge support for their life. Yeah. If you just choose to sacrifice a little comfort hero. And also too, like she's 19. She could sleep on a bag of laundry and wake up. Like I feel great. I feel great. This is awesome. I also could see this type of decision making like outside like let's say she's living on her own now and if she always gives up like whatever
13:36 whatever for other people. If you do this like later on, I can see that being taken advantage of as well. So, she's trying to learn how to stand her ground now so that in the future she doesn't get taken advantage of by other people. She's not standing her ground. Yeah. No, this is just where it starts. I'm just saying like in the future if somebody were to say, "Hey, you know what?" Like they say she lives on her on her own and a roommate comes in and the roommate starts asking for all this ████ She But no, that's completely she's standing her wrong ground for the wrong reasons. cuz instead of contributing to be a part of the family, she sees what they're asking her as something that's bullying her around. So that's she's standing her ground for the wrong stupid cuz it's like you don't you're there's no reason to stand your ground. There's no there's no fight here. I think that's just built
14:26 into them cuz imagine she moves out, right? She has her own place and then her parents get divorced and then her mom's like, "Can I move in with you?" She goes, "No, I got to stand my ground. you know, crazy. It's like that's it's so it's like it's all depends on the context of what you're trying to do. And that's why I think like if this was like a Arab family or like a Chinese family, there's no conversation of like if it's a Vietnamese family, they're like that's it. I can fit 50 people in the house, man. There's no conversation. There's no house. Three bedroom 50 people. That's true. There's no conversation of like, oh, you have to get out of this room. It's like, "All right, you're going to stay on the couch tonight." Yeah, it's it's a given. It's a given. Sick people on the couch. There's an apparently not just the alternative is the couch. It's either the couch or like squeezing to the
15:17 office. Like there's also there's also the older sister squeezing into the office and then the kids being in the What if the older sister's 300 lb though? Can't be squeezing into nothing. She's squeezing into every room then, bro. Well, just so you know, on this uh on this thread, it's a resounding unanimous not the ████ Wow. They're all white. They're all white. It's all American ████ though. I feel like Yeah, for sure. You bring up a good point, though. Crazy. Why can't this the the divorced sister stay in the office? That is a good point. Cuz if there's an extra room, I know why. Why? Because you're trying to preserve the children. Yeah. Because the the way the sis the little sister's acting right now, I bet you the older sister's the exact same way. She's like, "Oh, well, I, you know, we're family. I deserve to have my own room." And it's the same ████ and then they they clash. Whenever whenever you
16:08 say you deserve something, it's already a question mark. Like, I deserve to stay in it. Yeah. Like low key. I think that's what she's saying, though. Yeah. That's what that's what I mean. That's why it's always like all the readers might be 18, 19, so they just side and they relate and they haven't been through enough where like the family has to come together. Yeah. I just don't know many families that don't immediately want to help. Yeah. Like I like at least around my immediate circle and people like you guys like if if this happened to any one of y'all, the first thing on your mind isn't about you. It's about oh poor sibling. How can I help you? Right? And I think we've always been that way since we were younger. But we were taught the teamwork early on for the fact that the parents even give her a choice is something we never had. Yeah. Cuz immediately you buy bunk beds
16:59 for every room. Bam. Everyone can stay anywhere. Bam. You're Vietnamese. Low key. When I was a kid, I kind of liked it when random people come stay at the house. It felt like a sleep. Like when I had to sleep in a different room, I was like, "Oh, so my dad was like a sleepover." My dad, my uncle, when my dad and my uncle were sponsoring all the relatives to come over, I didn't know they were like leaprogging refugees. But when they were, like we would have like these twiniz beds that we bring out of the garage and in the master bedroom, no ████ for like a period of time would be like eight people. Oh yeah. It' be the it'd be like my dad's not even sleeping on the the bed. The bed is for like the ladies or whatever. My dad's sleeping on the couch. There's like three twiniz beds and then there's like uncles sleeping here, whatever. And I'm sleeping like in the corner and I just thought it was a giant slumber party. I'm like, "Dude, this is tight. Can we bring more relatives?" Especially for
17:50 Bart. He's like, "Yo, this is sick. This is sick." Nobody ever sleeps over. You think that's why it's so normal for us cuz we all have experience of that and then like white people don't. Dude, I love that we're assuming that they're white. It's more It's more fun. It's more fun for sure. Well, the fact that white parents ask her, like our parents would have never asked us. I feel like it was a Latin family, they wouldn't have this conversation either. They just be like, "Yeah, you got to sleep on a ████ couch. I don't know what to tell you." Refugee families or people that like, you know, were displaced somewhere or like had to immigrate over. Of course, we just got different experiences. Your brother slept on a couch for ████ like 11 years or something. And that was like 6'4. His ████ feet were sticking off the couch, dude. Yeah, that's a long time, dude. The Raiders couch.
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