0:00 [Music] bart you have a tesla have you gl has a tesla jio has a tesla you guys share everything though have you used the autopilot feature to drive drunk no because i don't drink and i don't really drive it very much but i have driven an autopilot just to mess around with it yeah and it's pretty crazy because once you map where you want to go it will follow the directions so i'll make sure it stop during stop signs and stuff i do it on the freeway so it'll take freeway exits and go where it needs to go which is ████ you know when i borrowed geos tesla i almost crashed it really was an autopilot what it i was in autopilot on in the carpool closest to the bridge i had to tell her um i should borrow it again you shouldn't be able to borrow ask me and i'll let you borrow it thank you and because we should because it's geo
0:51 tesla on the bridge i mean like on the side like the the divider in between the two sides of the freeways like sometimes it's not so straight like something will just kind of come out yeah yeah yeah so it read that even though i was going like 65 70 miles an hour it read that so it like diverted me quickly but it pushed me too far this way oh and there was cars on this side so i got scared and it was my first time maybe i should have just let it do his thing but i pulled the steering wheel back which made me start swerving but i was already at high speeds and stuff like that luckily i didn't do anything hopefully luckily i didn't do anything in the car but that i ████ got super scared and you were driving drunk right he was on ketamine what's the article again yeah it will correct itself though so a california woman was suspected of driving under the influence and taken into custody after using her tesla in self-driving or autopilot mode so how do you ████ that up
1:41 right yeah how'd she get caught she fall asleep so the tesla hit a roadside wall on the freeway and then just kept going which made chp think that the driver was not conscious she was passed out right passed out oh wow yeah that's well yeah that's a problem um so they they tried the troopers couldn't pull it over because it kept kept going dude that's sick the only way they could stop the pursuit was to perform a pit maneuver maybe you know what that is i thought that was when you hit the back the back it spins out yeah that's exactly what it is so she woke up to the cops hitting her back and she was like what the ████ yeah exactly but did it wake up to the car hit in the side well no so the self-driving car stopped itself at the pit maneuver it because obviously something happened so then um yeah this girl named carla
2:33 she was arrested on suspicion of death carlos because she lost her car oh true awesome i like that too that was fire it took me a while i was like oh ████ is right she's really good she's kind of low um so tesla has this autopilot system and basically drivers have misusing all over the ████ place right it's scary man i tried it and i just was like i just gotta i'm a control freak and i gotta get back to the car and i'm just like oh i don't trust him man ████ you robot i don't think i know anybody that uses the autopilot feature that's like confident in it like i feel like everyone's just like no ████ way yeah so what's the point then my buddy says that he basically ten and twos it the whole time while he's autopiloting so like it's just convenient because he doesn't have to think it's really good in stop and go traffic yeah oh it's really good
3:24 yeah because i get more sleepy and stop and go than i am in just like a long drive yeah that's just getting like rock to sleep yeah but in autopilot it's like very in better control than even like human like going back and forth you know because you're inconsistent with your gas and your brakes sometimes because you can't like measure like the distance of like real crazy stop and go but like that will just keep you in this really smooth and that way you can just like chill on your phone and every single time the thing like shows that you have to touch and acknowledge the same way you're just kind of like oh that's sick dude i have no confidence in machines for that yeah no ████ way bro and stop and go i do because you're not moving hella fast so even if something crazy it's a straight line you know what i mean it could be like a minor thing anyway yeah the car is also a tank so if you do crash i feel really safe in it it's like 5 000 pounds all the weight is at the bottom because that's where all the batteries are so they can't flip over it's almost impossible to flip wow
4:15 it's only i think the test mod x is the only suv or whatever considered car that has like a five star rating for safety wow that's in its class i wouldn't be surprised if the cop car that did the pit maneuver got a bigger deck like you probably hit in the clock [Laughter] so these are the these are considered the downsides of tesla right everyone always talks about how the autopilot sucks all this ████ but one of the cool things about tesla is the fart noise that's really good wait what's the fart noise whoopee cushion there's a actual whoopee cushion in the car where you can designate where a fart happens so let's say your buddy falls asleep in the back you can literally press the whoopee cushion so it sounds like it comes from his corner that's elon dude it's ████ brilliant or you can make the turn signal have fart sound so instead like click click dude i love signaling so good that's great i love seeing i love it i signal all the time i'm a huge fan dude i do it all the time nobody else in this ████ city does though i don't i
5:06 don't even know what that sounds like when you sing no how dare you cause i don't use it it wasn't cuz you know what it does it tells the ████ around me to speed up so i can't get in so i'm always like you you learn in california not that that's what it means in cali yeah no cal you just signal like this click i absolutely hate you i've been behind you before i ████ hate you dude i let people in all the time okay so this guy um he says that he got into um a hit-and-run he says that he was the victim of a hit-and-run whereas he's walking behind a tesla tesla hits him and then he calls the cops immediately and it's like yo this tesla ████ hit me well unfortunately tesla's record and we did this yesterday yeah we did this yesterday oh that's what we did yesterday yeah i knew it okay but yeah dude let me show you i don't care i see it
5:56 yeah right into it i like how he has an id in the ████ he's showing his id yeah yeah he's like oh you hit me here's my id i'm gonna sue you oh my god what an idiot i like how he just came out and kicked him too get the ████ out of here dude walk out of here dude yeah then you gotta you gotta sell it you gotta sell it i love that about tesla's the camera is like running when it's parked too they can see they can see ghosts too bro yeah you can turn on ghost mode we talked about that i would imagine um in the maybe near future when we everybody has to like switch over to like electric cars and maybe there's a monopoly for tesla because they were like early bitcoin buyers whatever but the point is that i guess at that point since tesla's get upgrades like software uh upgrades through the cloud right so they're already like internet-based machines so technically
6:48 like even if there was a high-speed pursuit i would assume that no criminal would ever be able to like use a tesla because maybe in the future like tesla or whatever could just be like stop that car yeah you know what i'm saying which should mean that if everybody was in some sort of like monopolized car system there would be either more safety yeah there's definitely assets to it if that does happen with our legal system could the criminal counter sue for infringement of rights if the car if their car got stopped i don't know where post patriot act 2001 like what rights does anybody actually have that's true we gotta we gotta get vaccinated if we wait just a little bit longer they'll probably give us our rights back though just gonna wait a little bit longer wait just a little bit dude that's like idiocracy the movie where like they were and they were running away and then they
7:39 got shut down because california was still where if someone roger house and he ████ slips and falls in your house they can still sue you yeah you know so like the where you draw the line of what's right or wrong or whatever is still like crazy blurry crazy dude i tried slipping the phone in bart's house i had my socks on so i was like this is not going to work out that's crazy but you fell with the idea i'm still great hey look ████ right in front of your ring cam steve green how's your falling but no do you think that when this chick gets pulled over or like when she wakes up you know she gotta have she made a mess in her underwear right well guess what guess what guess who else made a mess in his underwear michael jordan and these are being auctioned
8:30 wait what this is michael jordan's underwear what is it ████ pulled up yesterday what are you talking about ████ you michael jordan's underwear upper auction is this is this a bit what is it is this a bit no no michael jordan's actual underwear that's actually a segway that's a segway into another article okay can you believe that i don't even remember that bro i don't remember ████ i did crazy i remember any articles [Laughter] maybe he's a good host when you ████ remember it [Laughter] nobody seems to remember anything about this it's on you man steve's a tyrant bro hey dude comedy trump's all there we go that's the name of this channel if you would have showed up on time you would remember the articles in my dumb ass head i'm like hey we covered this
9:21 yesterday too [Laughter] trying to flag it i'm like wait a minute hold on a second there's a pattern dude you're mistaken i guess i read more news than i thought i did then this ████ puts hot topic in there so it goes out before mine i'm just here like did it that really happened i didn't think of that that's better wait a minute what the ████ i don't know if that was really michael jordan yeah that's why we have two hosts for the competition aspect okay guys i'll just watch anthony's episode i'm gonna ████ jack your articles and that's gonna put them in my timeline your articles have no shot next article i'm already doing your articles next week right now bro that's how ████ good i'm doing can we switch the days next week so he does it first no no no no no no no no no i'm gonna ████ show up like jim showed up for dwight i'm gonna wear your exact ████ outfit
10:11 this manning jersey that'd be something you should do yes don't worry i'll be dressed as a ████ boy so don't even sweat necklaces and all kinds of ████ get out of here dude i'll have a dildo in both hands i'll be like maybe i'm anthony you gotta do that dude we gotta have a whole switch today and then just grow this out bro you don't sit in here with a rick flair shirt and eight red bulls yeah hey by the way growing this you're gonna handle those eight red bulls bro it takes you a week it's taking me ████ eight hours bro ████ sorry guys i was late because i was playing poker with my wife down the street and guess what my dad hates me hey that's good that's the best anyone's
11:01 done on me so far except you had too much hair wait ████ get out of here but daddy dad loves him while we're watching porno [Music]
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