0:00 [Music] there's a company out there that offers employees masturbation breaks with uh what they call wink pods and vr sounds like a british company what the ████ is this japanese japanese pods they did say wank pods whoa that's pretty great wow how much money are they investing in this and let's put a black light in there and see if it's glazed damn a black that's right that's a good point like do you want to get in there like after your homie just did yeah you want communal masturbation random stranger i don't know nah but you gotta air that ████ out because you know like when you're jacking off there's jack off steam what does what does a jackpot go on like a thousand miles an hour what does a jackpot offer that a regular
0:51 pod does doctor right now i'm gonna say cut cameras you need to go to a ████ doctor right now what does jack off scene smell like no i mean like right it's muscle burnt rubber i mean like if a dude just jacked it in the room yeah and you come in you're gonna smell the essence of jacking off and like what would you how would you describe it just like like a guy ████ having a cardio exercise he's gonna sweat breathe he's like axe do you guys sweat when you masturbate depends if joe jerks two dicks off when he masturbates i'm ████ skiing come on guys but also yeah what if it's like the 300 pound uh jerry from accounting that just got out like it's it's sweaty it's musky oh dude in that little ball a little ball is having a tough time it's like when you sit on a toilet seat after somebody it's still warm it is it is and what's the interior feel like i'm not allowed to act like a naive and i'm trying not
1:42 to be offensive with this at all you hold your dick and you just do this as much as you can i'm just trying to ask a serious question like really um really because somebody mentioned like 300 pounds like really big dudes you don't sound like physically like oh yeah you gotta like and then you gotta that's what i'm what can you even get there though like you know what i'm saying is i bet they have a system that we don't know about they definitely haven't you right you know what i mean you know what they probably do put the gun on the table reach under the table oh that's genius that's kind of smart just kind of also assuming that the once you put on the table and it flattens out this way that the arm has the ability to come around circumference no go down you go down straight down
2:35 i'm not trying to be offensive here dude they have arms bro you're bringing fat in all right i just said large all right picture of penguin trying to jack off where's the opposable thumb yeah there's no opposable thumb just saying like they're portions everybody knows fat dudes jerk off like this dude that's pretty crazy that's a joke i could never do way to be limber they just take a fleshlight everywhere they go oh yeah you know what the dark knight is you gotta put them on game it is a trick question yeah yeah it's a movie and seeing those suck machines on instagram there's girls that are oh no you talk about girls and guys hey you're talking about a wife aren't you can you imagine saying that look at that suck machine right there
3:25 you guys want to meet my suck machine did you get any more dragon that's like something that that the guy would say i'm married with children he's not the only guy who can get away with it and still go get an emmy and like say hey everybody we should pray for africa thank you i pray for him he's the only guy that's a dark knight yeah this is about the eighth time we've promoted the dark knight are you guys getting paid for this not yet not yet we're hoping to get sponsored so there's a suction cup feature at the bottom so you can stick it into different places and then this rotates on like three different speed settings what and it also goes up and down so imagine rotation and up and down at the same time in different speeds someone could never do it no such members no suck machine no suck machine holds a candle that sucks machine okay real talk who here has used the dark knight
4:16 we don't have the guts man can someone send us one i'd ████ the ████ out of it it would ████ the ████ out of you oh yeah that's right so like i follow these meme pages right and sometimes meme pages need to make money and i think they get sponsored by a lot of these like vibrator companies and so it's always like some kind of amazon review where it's like it's like you wouldn't believe this i came so many times i went straight to sleep or whatever right yeah and then the girl version is like something like i was so wet i didn't know how to ████ i don't know there's there's always something never say that go ahead you said this on instagram [Laughter] brother brother i snapped into a slim jump and i stuck it up my ████ brother brother let me take something brother i got so turned on i lifted my own kitty started licking on my own
5:06 titty that's a ████ woman repeating a sex toy that's what you're doing that's how they talk that's how they talk like wait it's on instagram you said yeah so so me so me and pages they'll get a brand name oh yeah instagram.com don't get a brand new for vibrators or suck machines or ████ pockets or whatever ████ there's always like there's always like a review yeah like that is it crazy ████ probs or something yes yes like ████ yeah great mechanic i don't know why i'm promoting them but crazy ████ prob or nugget or like whatever like and then they have these things like that yeah young republicans does that too [Laughter] open-minded company is offering its employees the opportunity to masturbate during work hours company dude you can't
5:57 even order custom-built quote-unquote wink pods help them out the unusual work perk has been introduced by strip chat an adult website oh okay 200 employees yeah so located within the brand cypress office the four high-tech pods will be kitted out with masturbatory accessories for the ultimate vr experience complete with an oculus quest vr headset and 4k led screen to watch the x-ray you can't do this at home i'm not going to work and do this but if you're if your work is that like porn yeah why would you want to how are you not desensitized to your work or what if your home life is an anti-masturbatory environment we all know what i'm talking about yeah i've heard that that's ████ up for that environment i don't know that's ████ up talk about you got a b████-ass wife who won't let you jerk it yapping at you
6:47 all day she's not a segment stop going like that about it she won't let you alone like she won't let you not be alone either she thinks you're jacking off she'll give you any privacy so you can get pops now that i know it's strip chat that makes sense but then wait what's strip chest so it's one of those pop-ups you get when you're trying to look at a different site okay like you know live jasmine or ████ hey what are you doing jacking off all alone it's like one of those things oh i thought she said live jazz men it's just duke ellington porn it's just live music music he's like oh we about to jack what are you doing jacking off all by yourself [Laughter]
7:41 it's really good because you got to jack up with some jazz [Music] the jazz heads are going crazy dude hey that's a great diy video it's jasmine this reminded me of a time i was going to cypress college and i took sex ed and then the teacher was this she was kind of like this kind of decent looking milf blonde lady at the first day of school she goes you know if you guys want to jack off in the middle class i highly support that no she did not she ████ said that the guys just started beating her and everybody laughed and it was a ha and she was like no really like i'm that liberal about your feelings and if you feel like you might it reminds me of this like she was like encouraging us to jack off in front of her did you say she was hot as well yeah she was actually like a good looking but then that's a sting operation
8:31 steve should have been in the class and she goes and she would always go don't forget my office hours are this oh no no dude i ████ swear to god wait how old how old are you i was like 20 19. the swat team was waiting outside the bomb squad's there the whole class she was telling the whole class like every every class time she'd go hey if you guys want to just whip it out and you know everyone just go ha ha but like everyone secretly was like she's got something bro if anybody wants to do a little bump of cocaine you think i'm gonna care i don't care yeah i don't care i'm a cool teacher i'm really cool it reminds me of that she probably ████ them she might ████ a ton of students but then cypress college i'm with nick the cops yeah the swat team there's no rule at cyprus yeah no community rules yeah there's no rules when they get hired they're like what are your credentials do you like to ████ students yes we've got space for you
9:23 looks like you checked yes on that you want to ████ students that's okay damn that sucks that's something i just wanted to remind you if you're gonna check yes on wanting to ████ students gotta fill in the whole bubble number two pencils please don't use pen when we put it through the machine it was it wasn't sure stab the pencil straight through the bottom whole bubble please thank you machines for job applications they're like we're not going to look through it we're just going to put through the machine let's go the machine will tell us whether or not you're a sex offender yeah it's a good score good score 98. did i mention that in addition these pods will house lotion lube and of course tissues well they got to how do you even have a jackoff pod you know what there's a business out there that built a jackoff pod they're probably just repurposing things like telephone booths you know what you
10:13 know would be really sad it looks high tech though that looks like an old jurassic park 2 game bro what if the whole thing moved while you jacked off like 4d right now and then missile water and stuff on the other side that would be that's what i got smells it smells like crabs and then jeff goldblum's like life finds a way and you're like oh what happened but they leave that didn't that cost money license how he's still rich you know what you know it's the sad reality which i really hope this isn't the case but like if having that was just a big old publicity stunt for strip chat to get like attention yeah and they really have it but they're like okay guys no one's supposed to actually use that thing that's our that's our big publicity tool i'm okay with it always people are jacking off on it like come on employees
11:05 will get to enjoy a 30-minute break to masturbate during work hours as the company said it aims to provide current and attract new employees with a safe comfortable space to rub one out because you want to attract those kinds of employees what is this well strip chat is also offering other companies the opportunity to lease out its pods for up to 50 thousand dollars for six months including adding a vip subscription to its platform oh google where are you at so they're the ones that created this business this is ridiculous nobody should be jacking off at work is it vip or are you really in the bottom of the ladder you know this reminds me of high school toilets right where they're there but if you use it people are going to make fun of you yeah people are going to ████ with you like did you take a ████ right now well what about this like how often do you think people just in a normal like office job actually do just like go to the stall and jerk one out i 100 did
11:56 it sylvan learning center that's them the sylvan learning center coming together we got them you just missed the jasmine [Music] told him to deal with [Music]
// end of tape