0:00 You love clubbing. Why do you like clubbing? >> I'm a dancer and I enjoy myself. >> What if someone tied your hands and feet? You still enjoy yourself in there? >> Would you like to be tied hands and feet anywhere? >> Oh, yes. [laughter] >> That's a very good example. That was a very, very good visual. I stand [laughter] corrected. >> Welcome back everybody to another amazing episode of the Careful Boys. We're very lucky to have Dr. Mike and Jared back in the seats out here today, y'all. [applause] >> What up, guys? Hey, you know, we totally bring you guys out here to just aura farm and get some clicks for all the ladies. Particularly the Jerry's. >> I mean, then I get clicks, too. >> And specifically the Jerry's. Hey, Jared, didn't you go to a club last night? >> Oh, Jesus [laughter] Christ. >> I did. Yes, I did. >> You dirty boy. >> I the first time ever, man. It was a
0:50 good time. >> Literally legit. First club experience ever. >> My first club ever was in Thailand. Oh, the Lady Boy show. I just kind of walked in and I was like, "This is ridiculous." And then I walked >> crawled out. >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, I wish. Uh, yeah. Crawl out because >> Did they really say me love you long time? >> Isn't that Vietnam? >> That's Vietnam. >> Come on. >> And honestly, man, that's really racist. And you mixing up Vietnam, Thailand. >> But speaking of Vietnamese, there was a whole like bachelorette party of Vietnamese chicks next to our VIP booth, which was insane. >> Yeah. >> VIP booth. >> Were they saying we love you a long time? >> They were. Did you slowly make your way over? >> Yeah. Yeah, of course. Of course. [laughter] Yeah, I got >> Don't lie, you shy guy. You're >> nothing happened. Nothing. >> That's your thing, right? Those That's your type. >> Absolutely. >> Yeah. >> Quick question. >> I remember. >> Quick question. Raises. He's just cuz he's a doctor doesn't mean you got
1:40 >> Quick question. First time in an American club, right? >> With your body like that. >> What is your outfit? >> Uh, well, I guess you have to kind of dress code, right? I wanted to just go like this. And Joe basically the guy who we went with told me I can't which is very unfortunate. >> Makes sense that you shouldn't be. >> So I wore like stretchy pants and like regular shoes. I didn't wear anything nice and a black shirt. >> Like a dress shirt or t-shirt? >> It was like a t-shirt but it was all black. >> Size small. >> Yeah, of course. Come on. >> Woo. >> Fitted. Let's call it fitted. >> Right. >> Yeah. Fitted. >> I feel like that is dressing up. Like we >> For me, you're that big and you just wear a black shirt. You're good. [laughter] >> That's good. >> Yeah. Yeah. I was I was pretty I was pretty I was pretty dressed up. Do you guys have people like challenging you though? You know how like when guys get a little get a little tipsy like, "Hey, bro. Come on. You you lift on, you fight, you fight." >> That's a whole story because he's uh we
2:32 were there with someone who's like with the UFC. >> And the thing he brought out said, "Welcome UFC." So me and Aaron were sitting there. We look like these two jacked fighter guys now. So all the guys are kind of like looking at us. I'm like, "What the ████ Somebody's going to whoop my ass tonight." >> No fights happening. No one tried to challenge you guys. We just got like they'll be like, "You want to arm wrestle?" >> You get mean mugged a lot cuz like then they're bringing girls in and obviously the girls are with other guys and I was like what is this? This is like ████ it was like wait wait wait wait >> they're there's VIP area. >> Uhhuh. >> And there's somebody in your crew selecting females of reproductive age to enter the VIP area from >> Dude, I'm telling you I felt like I was in a third world country last night and I just every time they walked in and they weren't attractive enough, they would just be like, "Nah." And I would put my head down cuz I felt like ████ >> What? >> That's a good club. They're doing their job. >> It was weird, man. I was like,
3:22 [laughter] >> I was like, "Oh, I can't do this." >> But like, hold up. So, these girls that walked in willingly were pulled in by security. >> Security. >> They were um with man like they had >> sometimes they would just be with them. >> Yeah. Like on the outside of like the rails, >> but >> then they would lit. But that shows how ████ savage they are. >> Wait, they leave their boyfriends, >> whatever they were to them. I don't know. >> They they will leave them for for free beverages. Absolutely. And the boyfriend will be like, "Go get those free drinks and just come right back." >> That's That's confidence, security. >> I'll do that. I I'll do that in the club and just be like, "Hey, you want a drink? Go get your drink, girl. I'll be over here." >> That's a whole ecosystem. I know nothing about >> I'll be like, "Go get pregnant with that guy cuz he has to pay for all that." >> Yes. [laughter] >> But just make sure you bring me a drink back. >> Dude, it was crazy. >> Yeah. It's not It's not our thing. >> Would you go again or no? Go.
4:13 >> Uh I think the only way I would go again is if Mike went. He'd have a great time. You like [laughter] >> my microphone is malfunctioning. >> Can we get a extra sandbag if we have one? >> Sorry. >> No worries. >> The look on your face is utter enthusiasm when you mention clubbing. I can see it. >> I wasn't there. >> No, but I'm talking about Would you go? >> Yeah. Would you go? >> That's [snorts] how I felt about it. >> What a what a question. You know [laughter] >> what a what an answer. >> What an answer. >> Well, I have more answer. >> I'm like chat GBT. I'll ask a clarifying question and then and then render thinking mode >> and then fluff you a little bit. Fair. >> Yeah. Fluff you up. >> The club is a confusing place. >> Very >> because I have probably an as yet un unexamined and u untraversed degree of autism. >> He does. >> And so I am fairly uh interested in being rather direct. And I just don't
5:04 know what it is we're doing at the club that uh we could just spare ourselves of that and be like, "Hello, you have an orifice into which one of my body parts can hypothetically fit." [laughter] I will go so far as to say several of my body parts could fit in there. Though not to say that your orphice is especially large. I do not mean to say that several body parts of mine at the same time, but certainly one at a time. We could have a lot of fun together in a private [snorts] setting with maximum respect and pleasure for you. But we're here pretending to dance to music. We're also pretending to like in a smoky atmosphere. We're pretending not to have cancer at risk go up for oh, and you're drinking, which lowers your IQ and lowers mine. So the throughput and quality of interaction is substantially reduced from what it could be. But I love the club. Uh, what was your name again? >> Party guy. You're a party. >> Hey, that directness some might call game. >> Yes, game. [clears throat] >> I don't think I think that's >> I don't think that's game. If you're do saying all that over trans music, dude.
5:56 [laughter] >> I don't know, dude. The club and you can't hear them. >> The club has strange people. >> I like your shoes. >> That's actually how I feel. And which is why I don't really like going out that much, but I'm not as articulate as you. But a lot of the times I'm just like, what's the point? And I I want to talk to my friends, but I can't because then I got really close to them and like yelling >> I can't I can't do the ████ yelling anymore, man. I can't do it. I never wanted to do it. There wasn't like a time when I was younger and I was like, "Yeah, club." Like, listen, all due respect, the club is a vibe. >> When I watch like videos of people at clubs, I'm like, "Get it people. You young folks and older folks too having a great time. Amazing. It's just not for me." You know, like if I see like a clown juggling, I'm like, "Oh, other than the fact that clowns are terrible and should all be exterminated. I would get into that at some point, but it's great. Juggling is a cool skill. It's fun, but I don't want to do it." And so the clubbing is awesome, but like I just
6:46 don't know exactly what the approximate purpose of me at a club. I think like I'm wasted at a club. Not even in a literal sense. Just like you're not going to hear me talk. I have all kinds of what I [snorts] think are clever, but are actually not clever things to say. Maybe the club is perfect. It shuts me the ████ up. >> You love clubbing. Why do you like clubbing? >> I'm a dancer and I enjoy myself. >> What if someone tied your hands and feet? You still enjoy yourself in there? >> Would you like to be tied hands and feet anywhere? [laughter] >> Oh, yes. >> That's a very good example. That's a very very good visual. I [laughter] stand corrected. >> I I [gasps and snorts] have a good time because I enjoy music at that level, >> you know? So often times I'm not going to the club because I'm trying to get wasted and then like put myself in a dangerous situation when I already have a wife unless she's already there. What if you're single? You're trying to put in an orifice. You're not orifice seeking. >> So when I was younger,
7:36 >> h, you know, versus a hypothetical now, which would get me into more trouble. >> Yeah. When I was younger, absolutely because of the same reasons of why everybody goes there pretending like we're we're all just like, "No, I'm just going to have fun with my girls. >> Pretending is the worst. >> Have fun." Like you pretend, but really it's because you're trying to go somewhere where it's dark and it is cancerous. And then you start drinking, so it lowers your IQ. And then your inhibitions drop way below the floor. And then next thing you know, you wake up the next day in somebody else's bed and you're like, "That was wild." Right. So you're trying to >> You look over and it's your brother. What? >> Alabama club. You have the ultimate excuse. And no offense. >> You're white trash. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> No. No. Take it. >> No. Take it. >> I thought you were about to make fun of my cult or something. I was about to be >> Don't you make fun of my sister, brother. Um, the best part about that is when you're
8:27 a female of reproductive age and you wake up next to a young gentleman is it wasn't actually you that did those bad bad things at the club and then the bathroom and then the Uber and then in the parking lot after you threw up and then again in the bathroom of the Airbnb and then again in the bed at night once in the middle of the night once early morning cuz you were drunk and disinhibited. The real you is a good college girl who's studying to be an accountant someday. >> Absolutely. Maybe though your major is currently undeclared and you are two different people though you have like the Dr. Jackekal Mrs. Hyde situation and so you can be just a total ████ ████ >> Yeah. I don't even know who's getting married last night in that >> he likes to get to know the whole >> it's it's guys too. It's it's completely the opposite too, right? Everybody who's trying to be a gentleman >> Yes. >> and then gets to be like suddenly I'm going to be a little bit more assholeish than I usually am.
9:17 >> Yeah. you know, or or or I'm a standup dude. And it's like, no, everybody's a ████ dog a little bit in there, you know, if you let it out. >> It and I the following is a joke, but the the way you're supposed to run game, quote unquote, and I have like maybe the worst game ever is you're supposed to kind of render this aura of I'm attracted to you, oh, but not too much. You know, I don't want to compliment you, so you go pretending you're higher status than me and see me as lower than you. You know what? ████ you. ship VIP tables this morning. >> Yeah. Like, oh, look, I'm >> You just go up to You know what? ████ you. I'm [laughter] I'm have to play games. >> Okay. So, real talk, there's uh there's this thing in like like pickup or whatever, which I know nothing about called negging. When you like do a little compliment, a little like, "Oh my god, really? You left your house with that hair?" I you know like they're like oh my god but [laughter]
10:09 my friend uh my friend James and I you know who James is um he we we developed all a joke all a joke uh the the James neg which is just the insult you're ugly [laughter] >> like is there a compliment coming in there at some point like nope that's all you get >> does that work >> yeah I mean he's like the definition of like if you took two male essences and put them in the same person that's what James is >> he can say anything >> he's like 61 one 235 ripped professor rich the semi-pro rugby player handsome mane of hair like women look at him when they're in that part of their ovulation and they're like I need him in me right now and so what he's saying is really immaterial to what's going on I think >> it's like when you start dancing I'm sure
10:59 >> for the dudes the dudes love it yeah my my style is mainly for the dudes Oh, nice. It's curated for that. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I mean, it's it's a f if you like the music cuz nowadays the clubbing is like back in the day, maybe it's just some random DJ and you're going because you're trying to get ████ up and meet somebody, right? Nowadays, especially in Vegas clubs, all of the marketing goes to like who the DJ or the artist or whatever is. And like for example, um, one of the times I went to Zuk probably like a year or two ago was when Tay was there. >> And Tay's freaking amazing. I I love Tpane music. >> He's the best. Yeah. >> And I hated the experience because everyone loves TP music. So it was too crowded. So we ended up leaving like 30 minutes into a set just because it was amazing to hear the music but it was too crowded. So I can't stand the people which is very ironic.
11:49 >> That's part of the whole club thing though. It's everyone in the dark. >> I can't stand too many people. >> That's all. >> You can just sit in your car with loud music. >> That's one of my favorite actually. >> But then you would never let your inhibitions go. >> Drink a little bit. >> You could drink and drive. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. But see, I like what what we do now, which is we go to like cigar lounges and ████ like that. That kills any club to me. >> What's the vibe in a cigar lounge? >> It's chill. >> Bunch of dudes. [clears throat] >> Just nothing but men. >> No. Or >> talking about their watches. Is that what happened? >> No ovulating [laughter] of age reproduction women. >> Why the ████ am I going? [laughter] >> Smoke cigars. >> Smoke cigars with the boys. And there's sports on usually. to receive secondhand tobacco smoking. You know, >> up the cancer level up. >> That's honestly even worse than a club to me, actually. >> Add the carcinogens. >> Cigars smell really good, >> right? >> I like the cigar smell. And I There's
12:40 something about a man confidently manipulate. Shut up. [laughter] I'm trying to get laid. Shut the ████ up. Uh confidently manipulating a cigar, you know, like he's [snorts] smoking it, but he doesn't care that he's smoking it. And he has like a very nice watch. I don't know anything about watches, but I know his is nice. You know, and he's got like a suit coat, like a sport coat, and you're like, "Oh, so what do you do?" And he's like, "Oh, I'm into a few things." You're like, "Oh my god." And you just kind of just want to be in his Ferrari. >> We don't look anything like that, though. >> We look like this. >> We're wearing like Careful Boys merch. >> Very focused on the cigar cuz we've never done >> We go to the working class lounges. That's >> right. You hit it like a joint. You're like, >> he's describing the dose >> cuz those guys it's like it's just another finger at that point. It's just part of them. us are still like, "Hey, this is good, guys. You guys like this?" >> I'm a cigar afficionado. >> I'm also not trying to get laid. That's kind of big. You know what I mean?
13:30 >> Yeah. That's the thing about getting laid is you can't try to get laid. You simply present your best version. And if the ladies say no, then you're like, "Well, well, >> hey, there's a word for that. >> ████ Call her b████." >> Yeah. ████ And you follow her home and call her a ████ the whole time. >> I don't want to wear your skin like a coat, but I absolutely will do it if you deny me. >> Yeah. [laughter] Good night. Night.
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