0:00 I'd want to be Antarctic but why the ████ is that Antarctic can do people from Antarctica aren't they just Penguins that's just Penguins there's no humans [Music] so imagine there's this mother named Alta she's uh been raising this child on her own after separating from her husband and needed to uh needed someone to look after her daughter this daughter named Melissa while she worked um she posted an advertisement in the local paper which is answered when somebody calling herself Ruth Johnson uh hits her up and says hey I could take the job agreeing to meet with Johnson first babysitter never showed up in person but called again and said she'd be right for the job in desperate need of a babysitter to look after her daughter sounds like a
0:50 catfish babysitter Alta agreed and a roommate of hers handed her daughter Melissa over to the babysitter and then she was not seen again for 51 years 51 years holy ████ 51 years family spent decades trying to find Melissa never giving up on the hope that they could be reunited with her daughter and holding birthday parties for her each year and then they had an empty birthday they had an empty birthday party how sad is that yeah they just had to celebrate the birthday so the whole family was invited let's ████ celebrate this empty missing people birthday party do you think she spent time planning the birthday now that she learned not to wing it anymore oh yeah she learned her lesson yeah that's a tough lesson I could really spend time on sussing out
1:40 this baby I'm thinking I'm gonna wing it yeah dude that's like the worst thing ever isn't it Jesus so Melissa's parents uh got back together and went on to have four more children three daughters and a son Jeff who they you know first told about his sister when he was six years old oh hey they got back together yeah they got back together that's how the family was able to celebrate or sort of Celebration give birth to a whole search party damn uh with police unsuccessful in solving Melissa's kidnapping the family ended up trying to find her themselves turning to DNA testing in the hopes of uncovering a match eventually they were finally able to track down Melissa after a DNA test from 23andMe found a match with a sample from father Jeffrey Highsmith they found Melissa living under the name Melanie Walden just a few miles away did she know that that she was having
2:31 never known she was a missing person why would you tell him that you're one of those missing people you were adopted it was a great scan we ran we're kind of criminals you pretended to be big to know he was stolen I know you think your parents are boring but we're kind of criminals actually yeah we're cool Melissa said after meeting her real parents she wanted to change her name back to the one that they gave her writing a statement on Facebook saying that uh I've been stolen I've been stolen it's exactly what she was she's Hood like that Melissa sibling Sharon Rose High Smith said they found her purely because of DNA and not because of Any police FBI involvement wow wow 23andMe dude solving crimes everywhere her pants already dead did somebody in here do 23andMe I did I've done 23 over you like 100 of China yeah I spent 150 for them to tell me um
3:21 99 Chinese exactly one percent is scary though you know what here's the thing though because I because my mom would always she would tell me like oh your your grandmother is Malay Indo like because she's from Singapore she was like and my mom speaks like eight different languages so is it like a bunch of white doctors at 23 I mean they're like you're Chinese so apparently a lot of a lot of other Asian people that have done it already have gotten the same thing like I just I'm just 100 Chinese so apparently with more people adding to the pool or more Asians doing the 23andMe then it's able to get better more accurate like regions where you're from because at first I got it was 99 Chinese and it said from China South East Asia like that was the category so it was China and Southeast Asia and I was like all right and then a couple months later it updated to like you're 50 Taiwanese and I was like all right
4:12 and then the other 50 on what do you mean updated like they just send you an email like oops we were wrong with our percentages no it's here's another Nation we now recognize here yeah they're like taiwan's still not a country but here's more insight of like where you never did 23andMe no there's a constant up there it just updates but you got to sign in yeah they'll tell you like oh like uh we found out something about maybe diabetes that might be Associated or just like constant you did 23andMe or more family members has yours changed the first time you did it so I've logged in so the first time I did it and then maybe like a year or two after um it didn't change within that year or two so what are you it's like 80 something percent Chinese and then like three percent Korean uh 12 um some sort of like Native American on my uh really yeah my dad's four percent's high yeah it's pretty high you should have like a casino or something yeah well it's like South America uh
5:02 Native oh they know they never get recognized yeah they don't get reckons like old mix or something or Incan probably because they're from Peru you're Incan you're like Mayan you're like I don't know I think Peru's ink and this is your people right here is that even one you're probably good at swimmer oh damn that's a well it's so it's a 99.9 Chinese 56 0.4 is South Chinese Taiwanese and then the other one is South Chinese oh Guangdong so like half of it is like Cantonese speaking and the other afternoon that's probably my Mom's side and then I'm melanesian melanesian what's melanasian that's like uh like Tahiti and ████ oh cool point one percent you're point one percent Tahitian yeah you're not gonna get a discount there my friend from the islands bro I was uh I was 98 Japanese one percent Korean and one percent other and I checked back a month later and
5:52 then the Korean disappeared and it was 99 Japanese yeah you're 99 Japanese for sure dude that's is how does the Korean disappear it just I guess that's how they infiltrate it you're eating more Japanese food maybe maybe I had a little kimchi the day that I spit gets more into your pores it's just like that DNA test things like that depends on what you're the first three days I like the idea that when you sign up for 23andMe and they give you results that that's their way of getting you to get other people to do it they're like hey you get 10 other people to sign up you can get five percent more Europeans 100 23andMe is a ████ pyramid scheme because that's the only way it works and then every now and then it'll be like you have 11 new relatives and it'll be like do you even show the same data pool with like ancestry.com or whatever the ████ because that's a Gerald is on there yeah you could hit him up like y'all want to link up and they're like we're not even
6:43 we're like two percent related yeah they'll tell you like oh yeah we found four more relatives and it's like your fifth cousin or some ████ yeah it's usually fourth to fifth cousin I need to check I haven't been on it in a minute is it is there like ████ uh like liability ████ that you or waivers that you gotta sign where they where they get to use your DNA now in like third party things yeah who knows what they're gonna do it's like Facebook that's why I didn't do it ████ yeah but like in on on South Park though Randy wanted to be Native American so bad he started making out with a chief of a tribe it worked DNA so you can exist that out and claim uh Native stats so we can get a ████ uh Casino like this is so ████ funny that's kind of funny it's kind of smart too it's a genius yeah so good if you had to let's all do it if you had to if you had to have a
7:33 different type of ethnicity that's clearly not in your bloodstream what would you want to do Nigeria 100 Nigeria how come I don't know I just feel like all the Nigerian people I mean are really smart and really athletic oh and I need some of that is that why do you why was that weird you guys all got quiet why is that weird I don't know that you knew that many Nigerians beside the UFC fighters what's up I think there's definitely a weirdness I said it too quick is that where all the runners come from I said it too quick Canyons I'd want to be Antarctic but why the ████ is that Antarctic can do people from Antarctica are they just Penguins that's just Penguins there's no humans like native people researchers Antarctica there's native people in antioxide people lived in North Pole what are you guys talking about the people live Santa Santa no not polish North Poland North polish no like the Inuit cats they don't
8:25 have any in Antarctica it's only nice they do they're called antarcticans oh really yeah yeah innate an Antarctic kid is a well by definition fictional or hypothetical holy ████ I made that up also now it sounds weird when I say it they're probably just studying like animals and ████ yeah it says especially a scientist or researcher yeah dude one who has spent time in Antarctica it's crazy I love the lore about like the secret Antarctic and stuff oh bro it's good what's the lore the lore is like well it depends on which one like Flat Earth there's like the Nazi one there's like the yeah Flat Earth there's a secret space base what about the hollow Earth one where there's an entrance
9:15 through the Antarctica and you go through and it's like a Thousand Leagues Under the Seas that's a good one me and Nikki talked about that on our podcast that's a ████ interesting story too the pilot saw the hole and you went through it and then there's nowhere like King Kong and them are yeah yeah yeah no giants like giant people giant monsters Godzillas remember how when you looked at the globe as a kid Antarctica looked so huge because it's at the bottom it's all stretched out yep and you thought it was like dude that's the biggest freaking continent yeah but it's just like Liars dude they just stretched that ████ out yeah [Music]
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