0:00 All right, give me your real opinions on this. Okay, don't joke around. Do you think men and women should be judged equally for doing gay stuff with each other? >> No. It's so much more chill when girls do it. >> You think it should be or do do you think there should be equality with >> I think lesbians are way hotter than gay guys. >> So much easier. >> Fight it. Fight it. Fight it. You ████ mayor. >> You know how a guy can be called gay for so much less than what a girl does? >> Sorry. Can you say that one more time? [laughter] The threshold for when two guys are now gay is so much easier. Like it's faster to get to than two girls doing something, right? >> Oh, cuz guys are down to play gay chicken way harder. Like >> Oh, no. I meant like the opposite. >> Girls actually do gay stuff more often than guys do >> if they like they can go to the bathroom like I'm going to go pee and I'll come with you. >> I was thinking more like they're just eating each other out kind of thing.
0:50 >> Huh? >> Dude, what the ████ do dancers experience? >> Wait, straight chicks just eat each other out? Oh, you're saying like if you just ran into two girls eating each other out, it'd be like, "Oh, like art." But two guys sucking each other's dick, you'd be like, "That is Get the ████ out of here." Like that. >> Not every girl who's had a gay experience, it would be considered gay. But if you're a guy and you've done that one time, you're gay. >> Yeah. Because guys are supposed to know what the ████ going on. [laughter] >> You can't be ████ confused like that. Girls, they don't even know what they want to eat. So girls don't even know what they want to eat, right? They're already confused. So like, okay, you don't you don't know if you want McDonald's or ████ dumplings. You [laughter] know, you're eating ████ sucking dick, whatever. I get it. You're confused as ████ guys. We're the leaders in the relationship. We know what we want. >> Oh, yeah. >> So, you can't use the I'm confused argument. >> Stick itself in my mouth. I know what I want. >> ████ yeah, dude. >> Okay. Okay. All right.
1:40 >> Two girls kissing >> is not that gay. >> It's not that gay. Is it gay at all? >> I mean, technically, it's gay. It's >> hot, but think about it, right? Pull my dick out. The reason why in the movies >> they they had that way early like Brokeback Mama was very controversial but prior to that they would have ████ girls kissing and then guys would be like whoa right but it was non-threatening. >> Let me tell you guys the story. >> So um you know first two years of me and Nikki's relationship she is at her birthday we used to go to Brass Monkey LA shout out karaoke night and we would have a karaoke night. She's with uh her gal pal at the time and her and the gal pal start making out hard in front of me and the so like you guys know I'm pretty square and like I'm ████ white trash
2:31 and unfortunately very religiously raised and all this stuff. So I was offended because I was like it's like you cheated on me last night. ████ stuff. Should never have said it. Wow. I'm ashamed to the day that I said it. Just let the ████ make out. That's That's what you learn later on in life. I've been again, me and Nick have been together 13 years now. This is the first two years. [snorts] But I was like, you never thought I can have a threesome. >> I didn't want to unless you could promise me all the lights in the room were completely ████ blacked out. >> What? You don't see your old dick getting sucked by two mouths? >> If you know what I'm saying. I >> actually lost respect for you today. >> I understand. By the way, I understand. I don't >> I'm not trying to Hey, I'm not running for mayor in this video, brother. [laughter] Okay. >> Wait, why why do you say that?
3:21 >> Just I didn't KNOW YOU WERE GAY. I >> NO, EXACTLY. SO, I was >> Well, he was religious. You're super religious. >> I was super I Thank you, Bart, by the way. Speaks for me today like nobody else. I was so like, oh, she's cheating on me right now. Which is so ████ true. >> In front of your face. >> Yeah, >> but she wasn't performing for you. >> No, she I don't know. But but I was like very not cool with it. >> Her making out with her girl pal. I know. And then uh so the next day I was just like, "Well, you ████ cheated on me last night. [laughter] >> I'm not kidding." Wow. >> But Bart's right though. See, she didn't even know what was in her mouth. Like she was just like, >> "I didn't know." >> She was devastated that I felt that way because she loved me so much. And that's what's so stupid about it. >> I'm devastated that you felt that way. I don't even like you. >> I know. But you do like me, actually.
4:11 What? What would you have done different in the same situation? >> In the same situation? >> Put her put their heads >> and the And the lights are off. >> Yeah. Don't put their head >> The lights are whatever you want. Yeah. >> Nina and Nina's macking. >> Come on, guys. Don't make me ████ do a fanfiction right now. >> By the way, Nina's grabbing this girl's ass and ████ >> And it's not It's a girl that's like, you don't know her. She just looks exactly like Nenah. >> Why would you want double? >> Double trouble. >> But [laughter] wait, so let's say Nina's a tent. Let's say Nina's a >> I don't know why they came out. >> Real quick, let's say Nina's a tent. Let's say >> this is No, I'm just for example, I'm just saying in this example, okay, >> N's a 10. I love Nina. >> To me, she's a 10. >> In this example, the chick that she's macking with is a five >> WITH THE LIGHTS OFF. [laughter] >> FIVE >> WITH the lights off. >> Well, five is average. It's good enough. >> So, you're saying So, you're saying my
5:01 under five is my median is 7.5 in the room. I'm all day. Green light. Five with the lights [laughter] off. by the way. >> Well, does that mean she stinks? >> No. No. I'm saying like even night vision goggles don't work. >> All right. Here's the thing, though. So, you're saying my median average that night is 7.5, but at the end of the day, I still go home with a 10. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Hey, that makes you get a 15. >> Look, I pulled I did a stupid thing. >> 10 and a five. >> Okay. Okay. And I was immature and I owned it eventually. But the next day, Nikki calls her own ma and she's like, "Yeah, me and this chick were making out last night." And Steve says I was cheating on her or whatever on him or whatever. And then Nikki's mom's like, "Really? ████ Steve thinks you're cheating. You know, what a p████." Basically, like with her inflections and ████ So then like I
5:53 kind of came around to it eventually, but like I was just like, "Look, please just like I'm too ████ for you to make out with chicks in front of me." >> Oh, this happened to Nikki. >> Yeah. Holy ████ I thought this was like a different ex. No, this was Nikki. >> Now you seem even more gay. >> It's okay. I I can I can take >> I would have been mad like why didn't you let me join? >> I know. >> And we could kiss three way. You go here, I go here and >> this is really It's because Steve loves Nick Nikki so much. >> I do, but that's not enough. >> That's not really what it is. Yeah. Yeah. >> Steve over here. >> Yeah. >> Wait. Wait. You think I'm running for governor? ████ I'm voting for you for sure. >> What I'm saying? >> City council minimum. >> What I'm saying is I'm ashamed at how I responded to it. >> Wish you were hornier. >> I do. Well, no. I just wish I was chiller because it wasn't a big deal and
6:43 I made it I was the one who made it a big deal. >> You know what I'm saying? >> It's a it's a it's a it's a bad side of like you love her. It's the bad side. >> So, you wouldn't consider it cheating if Nah had hooked up with another girl? >> What kind of hooked up? >> Like all the way hooked up? >> Yeah. Like ate her butt and everything. >> If it's a girl, I can't wait to hear the story. And it's not when you're not part of it. She just like did it. >> Detail. Every detail. >> Never see this guy on camera, but he's the ████ best. >> Me, too. To me, s███'s only cheating if THEY'RE UNDER A SEVEN. IF SHE'S with If she's with a supermodel and they're like ████ 69ing, I'm like, "F███ yes." >> It's the most pimp statement I've heard in a long time. >> She's like a five or something. I'm like, >> "F███." >> How about a 6.9, brother? >> If it's Denise Richards. Oh, that's ████ awesome. >> World's not enough. >> Oh, Jesus. >> Why is it that
7:34 >> if your girl cheats on a you with another girl, it doesn't feel like cheating? >> Cuz it feels like she's building her for you. >> No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Guys, I think I think I think we're making conceptual assumptions because I know a person who his girl with another girl and he's still at the losing end of that and it ended and like a loss is a loss. >> A loss is a loss. >> Wait, so he like they went splintered off together? >> Yes. >> Oh no. >> So So at the end of the day in situations like that, a loss is a loss. Whether it was another dude or whether it's another girl, if you wanted to be with that person, that person was somebody else. A loss is a loss. >> You know what? I'm so ████ delusional. As Gio's packing her bags and making out with the chick, driving away, I'm like, "F███ yeah, dude." [laughter] >> He's He's just like, "Spink ████ ████
8:25 >> I know what you guys ████ did. You ████ sluts." >> I think they're driving the lingerie store for me. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Let's go, boys. >> You ████ ████ [laughter] Where do you define the line of when it's actually just gay? >> I'll tell you when. >> Okay. >> When you when there's two butch lesbians and they look like two Down Syndrome boys in a jersey. >> I draw the line there. >> So, it's based on looks. >> Devon Dutch hat and jeans. I draw the line. If they're two overweight butch lesbians, >> Elliot Paige, [laughter] >> save yourself. >> Then I go, that's gay. >> Okay. How about for guys? When is it? When is it gay? >> When it's guys. [laughter]
9:16 >> If it's just two guys. Yeah, it's gay. >> Do you believe it if any guy out there says, "Hey, I I messed around just one time for fun. Nothing ever happens." So, you think Bobby You think Bobby Lee's gay? You legitimately grabbed another dude's dick. >> I think Bobby Lee is 100% gay. >> No, cuz he was young. >> I think he's gay. He's hiding it. >> He was young when it happened. >> I think it's like a credit score. >> Bobby Lee like like blew his brother or whatever, right? >> What the hell? >> No, he blew his friend cuz cuz he wanted girls so bad, but he couldn't get a girl. So >> So there's an age thing if you if you did it when you were young. >> It's formative. It's not like >> I think it's a credit score thing. Like you're never getting a 800 ever again, dude. >> It's credit score, right? [laughter] >> It's a credit score. It's like you dude, you can bounce back and buy a house. You could live in society, but like >> but you always suck the dick, >> but the 800 is never coming back, bro. >> I mean, I'll like you less than the next guy. I don't judge people on their credit score. You just have a lower
10:06 credit score. >> That's good. >> So when when it when it's important for that credit. >> So when when it comes into like let's say like it's like, "Hey, your credit score is on this uh you're a chick. You've been a lesbian. Now I'm going to date you. your credit score in this field that affects me now. I'm looking at the credit score and I'm I'm maybe thinking twice before I put out the loan. >> But like if I'm if I'm like um hiring a bunch of ████ for a a Vegas dance show and Bobby Lee's like, "Hey, can I come in and like I'd be like, "No, your credit score is not, you know, you probably shouldn't be in the interviews for these." You know, that's all that's the only time where it applies where it's like if you're if you're here to rate women probably, you know, let me get some guys with higher credit score. Yeah, he has that. His judgment's not clear. >> Judgement is not it's not clear. >> Like you sucked the dick off a couple of times, so like probably, you know, >> all you don't know though. Sometimes sometimes it's like gay dudes that
10:57 understand like the best looking women in a certain way, too. >> But they're looking at like hair, makeup, clothes. >> Yeah. >> Is that when you look at yourself in the mirror? [laughter] >> What are how are how are straight guys judging it? You think >> desperation? It depends. >> On a given Wednesday, somebody can feel a different way about anything. If you have straight guys doing it, I don't think you can live, >> dude. Straight guys, we have low standards. >> Exactly. >> Hella low. You ever see those stripper billboards? You're like, "That girl's ████ ugly, but damn, I probably still ████ her though." >> 100%. >> Like, she's probably like the hottest one in the club, but then you're like, but in reality, she's not she's not film hot, >> right? Yeah. >> You know what I mean? She's not leading lady of a >> but there's also like this ugly hot of like there's something about some girls are very sexual >> but they're just like >> but you ugly though.
11:48 >> No. Yeah. Yeah. It's like it's like it's like street food versus cuisine. >> Street food. >> Different standards. >> The presentation is not that good. But but you know it's going to be bomb. >> It's going to be satisfying. >> I think we have a huge range of who we will be with and who we will ████ and everything. Like straight guys will just think everything is hot. Okay. >> Depending on how horny they are, >> for sure. >> I don't know if I'm going to explain this right, but we could also end it right before this for the sake of a bad story. Um, I I like to think that uh men go to war. You know what I'm saying? Like men have gone to war for women. >> Yeah. So like the idea of like the the risk when something happens and a man is bothered by it is more violent that you try to avoid than like like you know if a guy is suddenly looking at his his girl he's like actually I'm gay. I don't
12:40 I don't see as much women going to war in history for that. So >> well it doesn't happen >> perceivably. >> So perceivably it's like less threatening. So like when you see a girl you know what I mean? She's like, "Oh, I'm being lesbian." You're just kind of like, "Oh, okay." Like, you're experimenting. >> It's inconsequential. >> It's less consequential >> in history >> and it's not penetrating. >> That's I'm I'm I'm not trying to be overly meta, but like it's it is less consequential. You're not like so uh if if my girl suddenly is like ████ with another girl, I don't think violently I'm as in danger of that other girl, >> right? If there's a dude, it's completely different. >> It's completely different. foreign party they're bringing in is a threat or not. Okay. >> And then my guy suddenly is gay and then it's like I had to fight for my guy. I'm losing this battle. >> Yeah. >> So, so I feel like there's some
13:31 subconscious element to like our our evolution of understanding why one's threatening and one's less. >> Yeah. Like if Nah comes home with a 6'4 white guy, I think it's going to be a little bit of a trouble troubling situation. >> You're 6'2. Nobody believes you're 6'4. ████ >> 6'4. You guys, you guys ever heard that uh musician on Instagram where he says, "I know being gay is not a choice because if I had the choice, I would choose to be gay." >> Who's that? >> Who said that? That guy's gay, dude. [laughter] >> He doesn't want to go work out to go pick up girls. He says it's hard work. >> So, he wants to be gay for the convenience of it. It's a really good song. >> That's a song. We should have ended the video. [laughter]
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