0:00 what if though it was about her what if it was like am I the ████ so I've been poisoning my girlfriend it might be you know like it could be like yeah am I the assle and she's not getting sick what the ████ am I the ████ for poisoning [Music] her all right this is um this is going to make you think twice about stuff that happens at comedy shows oh okay what's up tell me what's up ████ in the green room cuz let me tell you I ain't stopping nothing someone get into a fight no no no so this is actually a really really amazing story it's uh basically there's these two girls that are at a comedy show together I like it already one of them um gets up to uh kind of just move through the AIS and she accidentally like bumps this dude or or something and gets a drink spilled on
0:50 him right so then he starts cussing the girl out should calling her a fat ████ and stuff oh drink minimum W wi you know bag did her did her belly hit the drink well she's not even fat she's not she's all like I mean not she's just not fat why you move your fat ass my fat joke was always like slim B Slim Fast ████ Slim Fast ████ slim like girth control have you had a slim fast though it's actually kind of tasty right let's talk about SL sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry what's the best flavor what's the best one no it tastes like ████ it tastes like chocolate milk best flavor dude go ahead go ahead so the actual story isn't literally that one of them's fat basically um the girl she goes to like help her friend that's getting cussed
1:41 out the guy starts cussing her out so they get in this like you know little bit of a scuffle a little bit of fight but then you think it would end there yeah for 15 years 15 years she goes on a Revenge tirade on this guy's life what that goes to which one the fat the fat one there's no fat girls oh no but the one the one he called fat the one he called fat or the or the friend the friend the friend you're the friend basically put yourself in the in the shoes of the girl that's like seeing her friend get cussed out yeah yeah yeah this is the girl that's like amazing so what happens is she ends up figuring out who this guy is ooh this sounds good and then the first thing she does so this is a long time ago the um she this is back when this is before internet well I
2:32 don't know if it's before internet K but it's before it's before Breaking Bad was like all the episodes are Rob so she finds this guy's Facebook and she sees that he likes watching certain shows that's so funny and she makes these accounts and just sends him spoilers over and over and over because like she looks up the upcoming spoilers of every episode and she starts sending them to him and he starts making statuses like who the ████ keeps sending me these things ruining all my shows and uh that's ████ hilarious long con yeah Walking Dead and Breaking Bad she starts ████ with him all sh like who has the time to do all that yeah bro get a job lady yeah hey you know what the next day move on and live your life like ████ you could have put that energy in your life and you would own a ████ business oh but that sounds so fun though what she's doing this is
3:22 recreational time JIS yeah mean like when you're up in heaven and the God's going through your ████ review is like ████ you wasted 85% of your time uh ruining this guy's life like it was worth it was so worth it though it was wor you call my friend Fat ah hey call my friend Fat like yeah that's ridiculous for 15 years he just like keeps ████ with them here and there and then it culminates at a point where she ends up uh So within this 15 years she ends up going to the same freaking College as this same guy who and does he even know no he doesn't know what he he has no idea so then was he so drunk that night he doesn't even know yeah it says he was so drunk that night he didn't never knew that's good that's good oh that's what it say there's a a point where basically she ends up in the same class as the dude oh stalker but she
4:12 knows him he doesn't know her yeah she she's they know this dude he has no idea that these people hate him this they've bro this is you yeah yeah yeah this is the show you roles revers yeah this is to show you he ends up in her basement acts dumb like oh it in he's like I know this ████ so one day he's doing a last presentation and uh I guess like he's there's a projection screen and it's showing what what's on his laptop and she sees in a tab a user name of something and she's like oh now I can like find other things that he doesn't oh wow this ████ is crazy wild don't ████ with She searches his username and finds that he has a Reddit account and then goes on Reddit and sees what he's been posting oh no and here's the crazy is it good stuff what kind of stuff is it well here's here the craziest thing is this chick's named Ryan aay
5:03 no I I use my powers for good so um she she finds like his Reddit the crazy thing is that she doesn't even want to say what she found but she said it was so bad that child pornog she sent it to his this guy's fiance and broke them up but he had a come in she was going to find out eventually that's ████ crazy bro doing God's work though oh my God that's crazy she might have say that so what was it we have no idea what it was no she wouldn't want she didn't want to say it it's a ████ Shir but she said it was she said it was bad enough that you if this was your partner you would want to know so she sent it to she sent it to his uh fiance and then she broke off the engagement wow and then married someone else has kids what if though it was about her what if it was like am I the
5:55 ████ so I've been poisoning my girlfriend it might be you know like it could be like yeah am I the ████ and she's not getting sick what the ████ am I the ████ for poisoning her yeah like what if it's some ████ like that and she goes oh this is ████ be this guy's a scumbag I'm poisoning my girlfriend as the opening line how to poison my girlfriend that's funny but yeah it's it's um that that from the second that happened at the comedy show 15 years till now like that's the craziest thing man she never let it go he must have been real nasty for her to be like you know what I'm going to get this ████ I'm scared of people that are that petty yeah but well now but now you can with technology now you can you can be Petty but also don't be a dick like it's it's
6:46 his if like if he said that to guys a guy we will'll just throw down right and then we'll get it over with but then it's like what's a girl going to do she why you cursing a lady wait wait so you think it's a girls uh the guy's fault for being a dick well he I mean he overreacted in in the story at least we don't know his side cuz we don't even ████ you know but based off of what he apparently does on Reddit he wasn't a dick once right right right so you think it's just Karma of like him just ████ with the here here tell me if this is tell me this bad if this is bad here's what he did he stood up he called her a fat ████ so he's funny the girl said sorry even after that and he wasn't hearing the apology and spit on her oh dude on somebody you should get your NE slash I think you're going get buuck dude so that girl goes to the bathroom
7:36 to clean herself up from The Spill and then the main girl goes up to the man to confront him and uh she's screaming in his face telling him that's assault you're disgusting you're trash and then um and then he calls her an ugly ████ oh okay so he's still funny this douchebag deserves a lot of ████ you can't spin on nobody bro I been this okay so I been this ████ douchebag all right oh really and let me tell you that's why I'm like kind of like on his side but then I'm like think like well cuz you have empathy for him this is what happened to me that I'm like okay I deserve everything this car ████ pulls in right like without letting me know he's going to go in my Lane yeah and I'm driving I'm in high school by the way and like and I'm listen to ████ 50 cents so my heart is pumping and this guy's ████ merges without putting his light or the whatever it is he just goes into my L I almost hit him
8:27 so I'm like I press the brakes and I and I'm like what the ████ you ████ idiot yelling all this ████ B B B I'm on his ass like ████ honking and I see like his little like U side Mir side mirror and I can see is like a ████ dwee dude I like the ████ ████ this guy so I was just like the fact that he didn't pay attention you stupid ████ I'm my gangster ████ whatever then I ████ go around and this guy just starts ████ following me oh no and I'm like great I realized they're like oh this ████ is following me like all right that's what's up so then I see there's a guy in the passenger seat too like so I'm thinking like ████ I'll ████ both of y'all up in my head I'm really thinking so I pulled into like a neighborhood and yeah he gets out the car his dad comes out he's teaching his son how to drive and I'm the one that's being the aggressor so then he's letting me know like hey mother he's like hey what the ████ is your problem like that's my son like trying to drive and
9:17 you're like you know you're you're you're he's freaking out he's crying and ████ like cuz you're doing this like this not and I'm just kind like oh my bad no you should have ████ both of them no he wants to ████ me up he's like no no get out the car if you want to ████ it and he's a real yeah like I seen like I feel like he just got out like this guy is a ████ real did he have socks to his knees yeah he's one of those guys yeah he had a ████ belly you know what I mean and he had a ████ muscle shirt and he I knew he was a real one cuz he said get out the car homie and that's when I'm like all right sorry I'm sorry dude I went from 50 Cent to Beyonce so quick on my radio I went you know what there's nothing th about me after getting punked you can't listen to 50 Cent album been there this was all my single ladies all yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it went from that to Shakira Shakir I'm like all right I'm switching ████ genres right now dud sh yeah dude and uh so I
10:09 understood I was in the wrong I got a little too a honk would have been okay but I took it too far when I'm honking and I'm on his ass and I just took it too far hey this is how we learn our lessons though right like we got to get checked get checked got checked even as children it's like it might be common sense that something's dangerous but it's only Common Sense after you learned it the hard way you know what I mean so like you got checked and that's the point where this dude he's obviously still ████ around somehow doing something wrong you know what I mean so so it's hard to empathize how long are you going to keep getting checked for like years hey but would you if you if someone spit on you bro that's pretty crazy you spit on your friend too spit on a spitting on a lady a random lady that's pretty crazy I don't know you did anything wrong spit is wild spit is wild spitting is it elevates the situation from calling someone a fat ████ spitting goes up here I think spitting on a dude is already crazy but spitting on a lady spits on me bro I might
11:00 ████ try to kill him dog swear to God I might try really someone spit on me that's that's next that's bow Warfare LEL that's B Warfare it is but spit is a it's and if it lands too oh if it hits oh bro I think I might swing first it's a crazy I think I might just swing but think about what kind of a ████ you have to be to get mad because someone spilled your drink like if someone spilled my drink I'll be like whoopsie oh ████ okay that's it it doesn't ████ bother me but then the fact that he got his he's in the bunch and he's being aggressive toward women like that to me publicly too yeah that's a weird ████ yeah he's definitely weird at Monster Jam I had a whole like ████ super sized Coke and I spilled it on the old man's leg next to me the whole ████ Cup oh my God and then uh I I felt so ████ bad I started I just
11:50 dri it for him I was just like I'm so sorry sir I was like what else can I do and then I um I gave him all like I had like an extra sweater and I just like let him sit on it and Sh I did everything I could and then at the end he was like at the end he was like hey I hope you have a nice day no one's ever done that much for like to remedy like a dude you just totally checked me off dude appreciate that one time this uh lady spill I was sleeping on a flight and this lady spilled hot coffee on me and I I got and I was like I woke up like that dude it was ████ up it was hella ████ up you were sleeping you had like a pompe nightmare dude it was on Vivo aerobus bro we're flying back from guara and it was like 4 it was like 6:00 a.m. we were up all night and I finally fell asleep she spilled hot coffee and I was like dude I freak the ████ out woken up with h my belly was all redo I got burns
12:40 on my and what did she do for reparations she just said sorry a bunch of Spanish yeah but then you don't call her a fat ████ and want to ████ her up yeah like I just was like all right I was really mad about I was like damn this is a really funny story second now I'm just up and I was fine if it's an honest mistake you can't really get mad but I Spit on her I ████ spit on her yeah yeah I got a guy that that put a snot on my shoe like and now we were playing basketball snot rocket and then he just ████ went like just playing and then and then just bam yeah accident but talking about accident so but it was like he should was on my shoe yeah hey bro did he clean it off of you no no that's the thing that's that's ████ up oh ████ my bad dog and he just kept moving and I'm like no yeah there your bad and I'm like it's there on my Sho how am I going to get it off you know what mean yeah he needs to clean it off he should have licked it off
13:31 the he should have just snorted imagine he gets a lace it goes oh
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