0:00 [Music] when you sold your house bart did you have like real estate agents like showing it to people and everything all the usual the one in l.a yeah or any of them yeah yeah they have to show people how does that work they just do like open houses and then like yeah usually they'll set up like a open house it's almost like a quinceanera for a house everybody come and ████ the house and then everyone who wants the ████ good i want to go away and then everyone where kids and ears you go to no how is that like in the areas i thought that's what kensington is like my daughter's 16 who wants to ████ her in the village people are like let's go that's not how that works no one tries to ████ your daughter in a casino really why is there a quarter of them like you get like cars and ████ for your birthday there's like accordions and stuff no no one's trying to ████ your daughter yeah the mariachi have you ever been to a consumer never okay all right we'll continue with what you're saying about the house
0:51 it's a party time baby maybe i got mixed up can we in the lower third can we just put quinceanera expert bar kwon isn't that cool with you guys i thought it was the village they're letting i thought they're announcing to the to the village like i mean now it's a modernized version of it right so the old school version like now it's the ████ like my daughter kiss begins with kate version of quinceanera but the original quinceanera is like hey my daughter is of age everyone come do your time so here's everybody at a quinceanera right right here's barnard quinceanera [Laughter] he's just limbering up he's getting ready he's like old enough for kisses so he's in line for cake and doesn't think that that's what it's for so this is the back but that's what they do and
1:42 then they open the house up and you get a bunch of people come in and then usually they'll like a couple people put in an offer or some people just go do one of those things tire kicker yeah yeah yeah then check it out knock out the door look at the oven mm-hmm and then hopefully you get like an offer or something yeah that's a real estate expert marquan i'm both quinceanera and real estate that's good cool easy chiron no problem that sounds correct this is uh this is one way that it wasn't correct these two real estate brokers in the hamptons um they were uh chosen by a client to have their home be sold and then when the broker said okay we're gonna do an open house on this day and this day rather than do an open house the two brokers basically just ████ each other in the bedroom
2:33 they're really ████ you know that's happening whoa you know that s███'s happening a lot you know what it is the two brokers it's like real estate sex but but if they said they're gonna do an open house do they actually do an open house and just want to get caught like it's like some weird they said it would be an open house and instead like when the owner i guess checked cameras that the brokers weren't aware of that's when they were uh confronted it's like a mansion huh it sounds like some baller it's a baller place there's something sexy too about you're in an empty place like i remember when i was leaving my koreatown address and i had my ex in there and we just ████ pounded one out and broke it we did we did it in your korean tower place my koreatown place that was pretty nice no it was a piece of ████ but it was empty it was looks kind of like different because of where we were in chat what were the uh genders of the two uh brokers male and female both straight
3:23 and they were kind of like power brokers in this like field they had reputations do you think that hurts their reputation moving forward um yeah this one does i think i disagree with you right i think this actually promotes their business even more i think it elevates them to a whole nother it humanizes them exactly people ████ people real estate agents are people too man and i think you're kind of being insensitive so next time you host you should probably think about that i would i would i think if it was like a specific type of clientele i feel like this these types of clients would prefer this that not happen i think if you live in the hamptons you deserve it a little bit or now the next guy's over is like um hey brokers come try to sell my house and do an open house and then they're purposefully setting up cameras and stuff like oh actually i don't want to sell anymore now i got this footage they start beating off to it so yeah are they do they take ████ pictures of your place like when you're selling that yeah each time we've sold
4:14 they they take a ████ ton of pictures do they do drone shots and all that kind of ████ too sometimes it depends on like the the agent guy that or girl that's listing and what they think what they think they need to sell it with yeah yeah or i'd like that them like our first home was like our starter home they didn't go like the whole night but the first one was your forever home then your second home was your forever home our first forever home um no drone shots i think that was more like uh like regular family demographic the second forever home was more upscale so they have to do the drone shots or else the clientele will literally go on like a website and go no drone shots don't even want to look at it that's a new level whoa that's like a standard yeah yeah it's a standard like i've seen him everywhere now because because we were just selling our place like you know ████ eight months ago or some ████ and yeah i i i mean we're in a complex so it doesn't matter that much condo but
5:04 in houses now you see the drone shots everywhere for bigger houses are the drones inside the house some of them some of them will do a steadicam inside and then even just the service is different like some some of them like you just go to like a baller house it's like just champagne like ready yeah versus like a like a regular home it's like oh everyone you want water you want water it's just this like just i think they're servicing that demographic trying to wine and dining yeah it's just crazy so here's some fun details about they should post the ████ sex video on pornhub well that's the thing they didn't actually get the the sex video what they did get is video of the two of them entering the bedroom and then exiting the bedroom with less clothes 39 minutes later oh hey good for the guy hey good for the guy good for the guy that's not easy 39 minutes that's on you that's on you so what happens here so who won the bid
5:54 hey also was she dressed as a real estate lady that's what i was gonna say you do like this when the girl leaves and the guy clothes oh you're a property sex guy huh and then the guy comes out naked with clothes that don't he's like holding in a little blazer and he's holding his heels over his shoulder oh yeah smoking a cigarette i so he gets confronted by the owners about the video do you play dumb what are you talking about what do you think he would never do that what do you think he did what are you doing did he just flat out denies it yes what else any other i think he's probably like um i'll take less commission bingo wow that's it this guy watched yeah that's confronted with the information uh the dude confessed using the bedroom
6:45 for a sexual encounter and he offered to continue the listing with zero commission and fulfill his fiduciary duties under the exclusive contract that's pretty good man dude he also offered to rent the condo personally to offset the defendant's financial damages and he guaranteed he wouldn't ████ it that's what it says dude if i'm selling a house yeah that guy's experience you're gonna ████ my house so you don't i don't have to pick they also didn't go for that they ended up settling they they uh sued settled out of court but we know all the information so like how good was the settlement like we're already talking about it that much of it could go it could go out but yeah the nda they can't talk about anything else you guys are thinking about how people ████ in your house before because you like unless you had a new build yeah people were ████ in your house well i think ████ your house is different than ████ in like your bed that's true well but in the same area where your bed is probably logistically with the way you can set up so their
7:35 ████ essence spirit was still there but that's no different from like a hotel right yeah i feel that the most in a hotel like sometimes i'm just like should i even be touching the walls yeah i'm like i know they don't clean the walls and ████ it's probably jizz all over this place there it is oh my god ████ it have you ever just done a hotel wall no i don't think a lot of people have either did you say you kissed the wall nope i'm like hold up kisses it's stupid it works every time it's unbeaten that's 10 for 10 though i laugh every ████ time yeah so this dude he's no small fry man the uh the guy he he's had sales of homes that were like 72 mills oh my yeah why are we just talking about the guys is the girl not a broker too we don't need to talk about that yeah she is a broker yeah 72 million uh
8:27 yeah let's see what his commissions look like food in 2020 he sold one for 72 million it's good because dude if he sells the house this is the type of checks he gets whoa on that house on one transaction that's crazy that's why he has to get his rocks off and different so if sophia if the owner of that house hypothetically 72 million dollar house would have taken that deal to be like all right fine i won't take commission he's like i'm having sex for two million dollars right now that's crazy yeah like sick yeah i'm gonna hire him the whole reason that they even decided to check cameras and all that is because their home was not getting any offers so they were like suspicious about what these people were really doing because they had like 20 open houses and there's no ████ offers it smells like ████ all the time the neighboring home had offers around that time and they were wondering why don't why are these guys getting offers the neighbors and we're not you're supposed
9:18 to be good brokers wall street and he's like he's like i don't know ████ the clients yeah dude you want to make it this game take cocaine you got a jerk off you got a ████ in the house that's why he's the champion dude this guy's great [Music] [Applause] [Music] you
// end of tape