0:00 And I open up a Snapchat from this dude and it was a picture of like I can see porcelain in the background and then the camera pans to his butthole. Oh. And just a bunch of poops come out. [Music] All right. So Ryan's taking a big one right now. So we're going to respect that. It's cool. He needs to unload a lot. He's backed up right now. He He said he's going to be in there for a minute. So boy, we're going to boys going to New Boy. No, he's cousin. Cousin. Yeah, there's man boy cousin. But it's okay cuz we have all we need. We have the boys and we have a female perspective. This next one is a little tricky. So I'm interested what people think. I found out this is a relationship question. I found out that my boyfriend 23 male of 9 months is part
0:53 of a locker room style group chat and I am now reconsidering. ████ divorce. Divorce 100%. You can't be with a ████ chauvinist. Yeah. Can't be with aing patriarchal ████ Let me let me maybe I'll I'll sway you some context. Okay. Got it. I I met this guy called Kevin at a school event about a year ago. We really clicked and and soon made things official. I understand that I saw things partly through Rose Cuddler classes, but I really really like this guy to the point that I started thinking he might be the one. Wow. We just match on every level. We have similar hobbies, but importantly, I thought he was really good and kind person. Now, something happened that made me really re-evaluate things. We were sitting in bed. He was texting and laughing about something. I glanced at the phone and saw a Tinder profile of a girl, which made me think, "WTF?" When he went to take a shower, I'm not super proud of this. I admit I
1:44 snooped given what I saw, and checked his phone. When his phone opened up, it turns out he wasn't on Tinder, but rather in a group chat with some friends and the Tinder pick was a screenshot. Of course, that was a relief, but the rest of the context was just bad in some ways. The group chat was basically a one- topic channel. The theme was roasting the girls they hooked up with or were dating. It was very explicit, talking about specific girls together with their pics, joking about their inadequacy in bed, or even how unattractive they were. As far as as far as I scrolled, I wasn't featured on there, but I saw Kevin himself write really mean comments, for example, about a girl his friend was with who got emotional during sex, basically calling her, are you guys ready for this? Brace yourselves, crazy and needy, those pigs. Is that okay? Why is she
2:35 crying? Sounds like she's a little too attached to me. I was just shocked to read these comments because it seems so out of character for him. When he got back to the room, I fessed up to the snooping and confronted him. Surprisingly, he wasn't really mad. There's nothing incriminating in there. Wait, why? Never mind. Keep going. He also wasn't very remorseful in the least. He said the chat was with his closest friends. They always talked about everything. I told him it was really ████ up to talk this way about other people, especially since it wasn't just randos. I recognized a few mutual friends discussed in there in an explicit way. And I'm sure they didn't consent to that information even being discussed. But again, he got really defensive. He said that was just his closest friends and they were the boys and he was talking to the boys. So, what do we think? Is this on Reddit? Yeah. Do a lot of people condone or not? Um, people are saying that that um I don't know how I could move
3:26 forward with this guy without knowing exactly what he said about me in the chat. That's one of the big most topduded ones. Somebody says, "You aren't overreacting. This is the way he thinks about women. It's better you found out sooner." It's kind of cute how innocent her mind is. Like you don't have any female chat groups that are like this. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Like this is so benign. I think this is just a human nature thing. Like depending on every group of every guy you date. Yeah. They're all going to have a group chat like that. Obviously to the degree. Yeah. Different extents. Yeah. And maybe some some men not so much, but those are exceptions to the rule. I think some people are just a little bit more classy about it. I think when you're 23, you do stupid ████ like this. Yeah. If he's doing this ████ when he's like, she's 27. Oh, interesting. So, I would think that she'd be kind of like, she's aging out. Maybe she doesn't have brothers or
4:16 anything. She's never been around guys who just like talk ████ See, that's a big thing. If if a girl grows up with brothers, they kind of get how guys are. Yeah. The humor. But also too, it's like if you're 27 and she said the guy's 23. 23. Yeah. Cuz I feel like 23 and 27, you're kind of in different mindsets in life at that point. I agree. So, it's like he might be acting a little, she might see as juvenile a little bit, which I I get, but I don't know. I just He knows juvenile. Yeah, that's the other thing, too, is like if he's copping up to it and saying like, "Yeah, we're just being ████ idiots." That's one thing. But then again, it's like I get the under I know when guys kiss and tell a little too much, you're just like, "All right, dude. Just kind of cut it out." You know, like, but guys just talk. It's just guys talking. Yeah, it's not like it's like when we talk ████ here. Yeah, but we're doing it in a
5:06 joking way. They're like they really mean that ████ Maybe. Yeah, but crazy and needy is not I don't know if that's like is that mean? Oh, I mean Well, no. I mean, that could just be her guys would say she's calling him out. The worst thing she found in there was that he called a girl crazy and needy. That's I think she's now more mad about the fact that he's associating himself with people who are I don't know. I don't know. I'm trying to play devil's advocate here and I'm having a really hard time. I get it. No. Hey, group group chats are guys wilding out and often trying guys trying to top other guys for fun. I think she saw a different side of him to some degree that doesn't fit in her expectations of who she wants him to be. That that that's true. The first veil of seeing like oh look behind the curtains and be like oh bro you're the one that snooped. Maybe he wouldn't have acted. Like people compartment compartmentalize how they act depending on who they're
5:57 around. They're not going to act a certain way around their boss. They're not going to act a certain way around their mom. And that's okay. Like, you just have And it's like, I thought I ████ knew you. And it's like, well, it's not like he's a serial killer and he's in a group chat with other killers like thinking about different plans. It's just a group of dudes just talking ████ And it's not even like a locker room situation. Yeah, dude. Guys can go crazy. They really can. I used to be in a couple group chats with these dudes where they would literally send pictures. of like chicks they were ████ That's disgusting though. And I'd be like, "Bro, this is crazy. That's too far." Yeah. And it's one of those things where it's like, "Bro, I'm not going to even ████ That's That's when like other guys need to hold other guys accountable on that ████ I don't even want to see who they're ████ right." Like, I don't want to see their dick, but they're sending like It's like a
6:47 during picture, right? Yeah. And then you're like, "All right, bro. I can't really ████ talk to you." Yeah. What am I going to say? Yeah. Whoa. Cool. Sick, dude. Yeah. Nah. and it's like continuous and you're like, "Bro, how many of these do you ████ have?" Like, you have a ████ problem, honestly. Yeah. Not not not current because like that's kind of disrespectful. You know what I mean? What do you mean? Pass. He's saying past is is fine. Well, you know what? I think Yeah. But past like pass if it was like literally nothing and then he's just like, "Look who I did." I'm like, "Oh, that's cool." Okay. Nutted all over this one. Yeah. I was That's weird. That's nothing. That's not it. No, I know. But at the end of the day, it was like, "Hey, what do you guys think of this nutshot I did?" No, that's weird. Comments, concerns, questions. Yeah. Comments, concerns. Is this too much com or is this normal? Oh ████
7:39 Do you guys blow like this amount of loads? Yeah. Like you guys blow on leaders over there? Yeah. But see, that's that's funky. No, like I'm talking about like men who have shared pictures of never of the past women that they've dated or current women within their group chat with other men or other friends. Like that's that's so disrespectful. I'll send a picture of her normal normal picture. Yeah. And say, "Been there, done that." She like that. That's tight. Like that. That's cool. Check mark. You know what's more common is guys sending each other their dick. Really? Well, I've never done that. I've never had that problem. I'll text you later, dude. Never. I've never had problem. Send me that sooie. But as a prank, they'll be like, "Hey, uh, which sandwich should I eat?" And her dick's like bucket. Oh, yeah. That I know what you're talking about. They're
8:29 not doing it sexually. They're like Or they'll be like, "Hey guy." Like it becomes a joke, right? Like it's like one of the gotchas. Yeah. It's like Yeah. That's way more common than a guy sharing photos of a girl that he hooked up with. You want to know a crazy one? I used to go to college with this one dude and we had a couple classes together and he was cool. Like we were in a couple group projects, we chat a little bit. We went on Snapchat and he kind of had like a I could tell he kind of like a dark sense of humor and I'm like, "Oh, this guy's funny." But we really talked that much. And then one time I opened up a Snapchat. This is when Snapchat was popping. Oh yeah. And I open up a Snapchat from this dude and it was a picture of like I could see porcelain in the background and then the camera pans to his ████ butthole. Oh. And just a bunch of poops come out. Oh. Oh, you sure it pans into his butthole? Yeah. I I don't know. It wasn't one of those like pre-made videos. I don't know. It
9:19 was a snap. It had to be his butthole. It had to be. Had to be. I know that. I know that guy. Deductive reason. Yeah. Yeah. Uh same color as his lips. I know. Oh, come on. They were blue. No, but after he said that, I was like I was like, "That's ████ wild." Like, I don't know this dude at all. It made me laugh, but then it made me go I probably can't talk to this guy. Yeah. I don't think I like this guy that much. Yeah. And then I saw him on a plane like 5 years later like randomly and I was like oh ████ bro I know what your but look like huh what's up dude? Have you guys been a part of group chats where you're like this is too ████ crazy man I'm out. Most group chats I just don't really respond in anyway you know I don't like like family group chats. I prefer like group chats with the boys like what we have but like family group chats are just so it's like a picture of one of my nephews covered in tomato sauce. But have you had one where you're like that's cute. That's great. this
10:09 s███'s so weird or dark or like I can't be a part of this ████ M not dark. No, I don't think you guys run in those circles. I don't have friends like that. Yeah, I think uh but the only circles I've been really in is was just like people setting up to do uh motorcycle rides on the street like stunts like the only call, you know what I mean? Like just ████ like, oh hey yo, we bought these are the freeways about to hit. We're going to be stunting hard on these. Then you're like, "Ah, I don't want to deal with that s███." You know what I mean? Just that's the only really crazy thing. Other than that, nah. You ever see Ghost ride the whip? Yeah. You ever do that with your You ever do that? I've never done that, actually. Sure. Why not? Cuz I'm a responsible rider. Okay, cool. Respect, respect, respect, respect. Mhm. But I feel like um this chick that is complaining about her
11:00 mans, I think she just need to give it a little more time. See if he's really a piece of ████ I don't think he's a piece of ████ at all. I think she'll find out for herself. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Cuz it's like it's pretty mild. Isn't it normal? We've done some way crazy. Remember we did one where the guy was like I think we did one where we did one. Yeah. He was like just saying a bunch of racist stuff. You're like, "Okay, that's a little Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a little funny. That's a little raising eyebrow. Like maybe you should keep an eye on this guy." Yeah. Maybe just like, you know. Yeah. Gather your evidence. Watch that cuz you saw our group chat, dude. Exactly. Our group chat's not that bad. Exactly. No, it's not. But no, it would make it seem like he's a saint. Yeah, cuz he's just like she was crazy and needy. That's it. Good lord, dude. I talk more ████ about my wife today. Yeah, that's so true. You know, I was giving my wife out of
11:50 the pros. Like Suben said he would nut in my wife. What? That's what you said verbally on camera. On camera for the world to see. Did you lose like 5 lbs? Yeah. Oh yeah, you a new man. It's nice. What do you What do you think about this one? Which uh what this prompt? Okay. Um are you for it? What should they do? I think I think you guys should just get uh go for it. I think you should do it. I think you should do it 100%. That's good. That's good. No, this is the grindstone. I like that. I don't think she wants to go for it. I think fully commit and uh cuz if you're going to do it at all, might as well. You're already in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, she should leave her man. No. What? No, you're saying the opposite. Oh, stay with her man. Commit. Make it work. What's the actual context? She's in a She's in a
12:41 group chat. She caught her caught her man in a group chat and he's saying things like like, "Hey, my chick is kind of crazy and needy sometimes." Or no, he's talking about his ex. Wait, this person here or actual Colleen? Person here? Actual Colleen. Actual me. Yeah. It's one of those group chat things where girls are like, "Who is my man really?" Cuz he's in this group chat with guys wilding out a little bit. No, I don't think that it counts. I agree. I think I think both directions. Whatever like your girl saying with the girls, that's their communication. Yeah. Unless it's like completely incriminating like it uncovers some kind of a deed. I do think that some things should just remain private between you and your partner. Absolutely. Yeah. I think there should be some sort of classiness about that for sure. 100%. I try, but if it's funny, I If it's funny, sure. Like, yeah. I mean, I'm all for the dark humor. Part part of one of my favorite things to do is like I think peak level
13:32 is when the group chat with the boys are popping off and then you show your your lady and you have a laugh. She's a part of it and she's laughing with you. That's cool. True. Especially when they're talking crazy. It's hard when you find group chat stuff because you're not reading it in the context that it's said. Yeah. Like the tone. You can't only you and your boys know the tone. Yeah. So like if you say something that's obviously meant to be like disgusting, like if you're just reading it text for text, it's hard. It also helps that our girls know this group. That helps a lot cuz if you don't know them, you don't know what their intentions are. You think that maybe they're scumbags or something. That's probably the one fix is like, "All right, lady, go hang out with your your your boyfriend's friends a little bit and see what the vibe is." Yeah. Cuz you know, like they've been only dating 9 months. They may have not have like hung out like that. That's hard if you're dating someone very serious. Also, I like to give a heavy benefit of the doubt to my person. Like heavy heavy
14:23 benefit of the doubt. Like if it's something where I'm like, "Why would they say this?" I would just like give them benefit of the doubt and then ask them about it. That's it. Don't assume. Yep. Can't judge. Like, "Oh, I assume you're the biggest scumbag now." It's like, I don't I think he should leave her for snooping around on the phone. That part that's even way worse than the ████ that he said in a group chat. I think he should gaslight her about how why were you on my phone? Why are you on my phone? Why are you on my phone? Never even address anything else. Why were you on my phone then? Why are you on my phone then? That's a good move because you you escape a lot of action. You're out of you're out of now she's in the path of danger. Well, it's because there's no trust also then at that point. No trust. Well, doesn't that feel kind of Do you guys actually feel like there's something that your girl could or guy could actually just say, not do, just say. That would be a deal breaker at this point. She could say, "I want to ████ murder the world." Yeah. And I'd be like, no, if it was something like truly like disrespectful and disgusting
15:17 about another human being and like all of everybody was in on it and it made a big thing about it, maybe. Yeah, it would take something like an atomic level. Yeah, it would have to be on a level to where and it's tough too because a lot of the people I know have a a dark sense of humor and there's pretty much nothing off the table to If they're close to me, they better have a dark sense of humor. Exactly. So, by that proxy, I would give them the benefit of the doubt. But have to say she she wants to eat dogs. I don't give a ████ Lit. She could say, "Let's get a dog so that we can eat it." That's way better. You should divorce her if you say that. I I mean, I just tell her she can't do it, but I'll get the dog. Get the dog. Yeah. Yeah.
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