0:00 Oh man, dude. >> What the? >> So Ryan just got married and we're all married and we're going to give him advice. >> Sick, dude. Advice from a bunch of gay married. >> Thank you. >> Closeted, openly gay guys. >> Bar, you've been married the longest, so you you go first. >> Yeah, you go first. >> Okay. Uh I think this one's actually really important. And then it's infinitely harder once you have a kid, but I think it's still really important. So, you got like 3 months to figure it out. >> Yep. Good luck. >> What I think you can figure out, >> okay, >> is uh dates once a week mandatory. >> No matter uh maybe if if you need someone to babysit, it's >> so forced. >> You have to >> mandatory is sounds really fun. >> It'll go away. >> Non-consensual dates >> because it will go away >> before you know it. It's 6 months and
0:50 and you and you have not talked to each other romantically. Yeah. >> Our relationship's so good. We always go on dates. All right. That's why I wanted to say that. Yeah. Like you turn into co-workers or you turn into like >> cohabiting. Yeah. >> Like easily. >> And then you put it on a schedule and you go, "We don't ████ defer. I don't care if the building is burning. We're going on a ████ date." >> Mandatory is a wild way of putting it though. It sounds not fun. >> Yeah. >> Well, you make it I mean just or you make it seem that like you really enjoy doing like I don't want to do it, but I guess I have to for a relationship. >> Well, the thing is you love each other. So when you are doing it, you guys are going to ████ love it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I agree. >> The moment it's almost like let's say >> you get caught up >> like let's say on Thursdays you plan on doing a you're going to go do a date or whatever, right? >> Of ice cream. >> Museum of ice cream. >> Yeah. >> But then you find out it's ████ your
1:40 kids open house at the same time. And it's so easy to take this fun like luxury thing and just throw it away. But it's really important to like like take a stamp on it because uh take a stand on it because that I think is the bedrock of the whole thing. >> Okay. of before the kid, before everything. Yeah. >> Throw the kid away before your wife. >> What were the problems that were arising when you noticed, oh, it's oh ████ it's because we haven't had these like mandatory >> start feeling like brother, sister. It starts feeling weird, you know? It feels like I mean, I've I've I've dealt with it to the triple because we also ran JK and Barbell together. So it was like it was like um triple >> um platonic, >> right? >> You know, >> cuz the gear just keeps switching to the same gear >> and then you issues are always going to
2:30 make your feelings feel negligible, >> right? It's like, oh ████ like there's a HR issue we need to address. Uh ████ ████ whatever date we're going to have. But then it's very important to actually keep the romance alive. >> Okay? >> So you guys are always on the same team with everything because then if you aren't, then those arguments bleed into other things. Whether you're arguing about kids ████ or how you handle each other's in-laws or you know it bleeds all over the place. >> Makes sense cuz it's like you could probably think, "Oh, but we're spending time together every day." >> But you're not. >> But you Yeah. But it's like not the same. >> Not the same. >> Yeah. >> That's good advice. >> Married second longest amount of time. So I'm going to take this one. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. >> First of all, I already really respect you and Smack's relationship, so I don't really think I have anything uh that will actually help you. But since this
3:20 video is titled that, I'm going to go with the prompt. >> Um, so >> I would say I would say that if you guys I mean this is I'm running for mayor with this one cuz it's like boo. >> I thought I was I thought I was congressman actually. >> Don't go to bed mad is so gay. But >> no, that's good. >> That's a good one. I think I still I think that's good. >> No, I'm running for assembly or something, but >> I think that's good. >> That is good. I I think that one never gets old. I think that one >> So, it's evergreen to me. >> Yeah. Because I think no matter how long you're together, there's always a moment where you're about to go to bed mad. >> So, what do you do? You make up. >> You >> But what if she don't want what if she don't want to talk? You smack her or what? >> Then you get over it. >> Yeah, you get over it. >> That's what I do. I'm like, "All right, if if she's not going to talk to me, then I need to get over it and I need to not be mad." >> How do you get over it? like this man style. >> Are we giving you advice or are you
4:10 giving ME ADVICE? >> NO, BUT THEY but sometimes you won't even think to do that. You'll just, you know, you know, like when sometimes you're mad and you feel like you're right, you you almost like relish in the anger. You know what I mean? Because you're like, I'm ████ right. >> It's a warm blanket. >> Exactly. Yeah. And it's it's more like not doing that. >> Underlying thing that you're you're acknowledging on both sides though is that no matter what, nothing's more important than us. >> Yeah. And so no matter how pissed you get, >> you should be able to squash it in like 5 minutes because that's not more important than us. >> Should pale by comparison. >> Yeah. >> Also, if one of you like Nikki gets super emotional and I I just always try to swing the exact opposite way. And so if I'm being the emotional one, which very rarely happens, she tends to swing the exact opposite way to pivot off of that. You know what I'm saying? Which is super cool. >> Like compliment each other. >> Yeah. Exactly. But she she like kind of
5:01 knows to do that. Again, it's very rare when I do that cuz I'm such a straight guy and I'm so like tough. >> So studly. >> Yeah. And studly. But no, it when it does happen, she does oddly have a calmness about her. It's very interesting cuz she's not calm >> generally. >> Yeah. >> All right. Joe, you have >> He's been He's been in the marriage longer. >> No. What are you talking about? >> I was married in 2022. >> Yeah. >> I was married in 2022. >> What month? >> What month? September 30th. >> You were married already? >> What? >> No. Cuz I remember being bitter that I wasn't invited to your wedding and that was before I got married. >> I'm pretty sure that the tattoo that says I got married on September 30th, 2022 is right here. >> I think I got married in 2023. Then >> Joe's memory is really you got the year
5:52 wrong. >> All right, go ahead. I just let you go first. >> Wrong is crazy. Well, remember you you told the internet you weren't married for like a year. So, I think it's >> maybe that's why maybe that's why it's throwing it off because you're secret. Yeah. >> My I believe my own lie. >> Yeah. >> I don't know when you got married. I feel like you might have got married before. >> I'm going to let you go first cuz I don't have nothing. >> I don't have nothing because you ain't going to take my advice. >> I'll take your advice exactly as is. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Of Well, if it's get taller, I can't. >> Well, here. Check it out. You should go on a bachelor party. >> Oh, you would. WHAT? HOW WOULD THAT MAKE marriage better? >> Why does Bart support the idea though? >> I tell you that Nikki said there's almost nothing she's heard that's gayer than a Bachelor party >> and I had a good old gay time with my gay friend. >> But let's hear it out. Why? Why? >> Why is that good? >> What? Why do you recommend for smack?
6:42 >> Like I said, you're not going to take advice cuz you're not that type. >> Oh, no. But I just want to know like in what ways because you made that choice. Because you made that choice. How has it benefited the way that you know your marriage has gone? It's just another uh reason to get closer with your boys in a different way. They >> But you try to get closer to his wife and like marriage advice. How's that? >> Your the people that you surround yourself with and the people that your wife acknowledges are like your people is also a healthy dynamic that you get to like constantly ride with in your group. So I just like I said, if you guys going to all argue like why the ████ would I talk about my favorite advice? Giving people Bachelor advice. Okay. >> What's your favorite Bachelor? No, I just know nobody does it, so it's funnier. >> Yeah, nobody does it. >> I've never even heard of it. >> Do you think a bachelor party, even though um like if it occurred later, would still be beneficial to Bart?
7:32 >> I think Bart is a loser, so he doesn't do fun things. >> I think corrupt me as much as he can. >> Bart's just straight up a loser. He's Bart's as square as his face. You know what I mean? >> Corrupt Bart is a really funny. >> How Wait, what would Bart's bachelor party look like then? And how would that make it better with Gio >> business meeting like a Tuesday for him? It's like we're going to do some jiu-jitsu. >> Okay, everyone meets up. This is all right. This is as >> we meet at whatever. I'll ████ paint the picture. Okay. Perfect. Bart. >> Everyone meets up at 3:30 in the morning at ████ Bart's house, right? And you start a day >> with a exercise. >> Full workout. >> Full workout. Capable branding. do a quick little plunge in his pool, right? And then you ████ make steak and
8:22 eggs. We eat that. >> That's great. Yeah. >> And then afterwards, >> we all drop TA off somewhere at like school. >> All of us. >> No, we just go and watch Taika at school in every class. We're just standing there watching Taill like 3:00 p.m. >> Yeah. >> And then afterwards, um >> he wants us to go home >> after. That's it. >> Yeah, cuz it's ta time. >> Yeah. Oh, okay. >> So, yeah. >> By the way, it's completely light in his house and he turns the lights off >> to let us know to ████ off out of there. >> No, we we after school we we split. So, after school, Ta goes with Bart and then we just Bye, guys. >> And then we go to a cigar lounge without Bart. >> That doesn't sound too different. If Anthony was to plan the Dachler party, we would probably have to go to some sort of Central American country, look for a place that's full of like Shakira
9:12 lookalikes or some ████ And then where uh he's going to be like, "Oh, you know what, guys? I think the dress code should be Saran Wrap so that when they the girls ride us, we get ████ hard so fast." And I'm like, "Okay, this is really good for my marriage." >> So he does have fantasies. >> The man does dream. Yeah. Well, let's wear >> rap pants and get ridden on by Shakira looks alike. >> We just rap pants. >> Did you like the dash the party, guys? I'm like, awesome. I think >> it's everything that Anthony wants to do. And he's dragging Bart and Bar's just sitting there like, I want to go home. >> This amount of fun. >> Yeah. Bart's like, I don't like any of this ████ I'm >> like, why are we even up at like 1:00 a.m.? >> But the thing is, you guys think because you guys have small minds and small dicks, right? So you guys think bachelor, bachelor is all the same
10:02 thing. All you guys can think of is I need to go somewhere I'm going to get in trouble. >> Everything needs to go down to who the guy is. So like a dachelor for him is not going to be like go to Columbia and find Shakira looks with Saran wrap. Okay. Like your fantasy clearly. >> It would be more like go to like a ████ American car meetup with a bunch of you know what I mean? Like he would just do things that would be cool for him. And it's and the idea >> he does that anyways. You need a dash party to do that. That's like you saying, "Hey, you guys should go on a date once a week." He ████ does that anyway. I didn't sit here and say he doesn't have a kid. Watch. Watch. >> I do have a kid. I am watching. I'm just saying. >> You have a kid. >> Yeah. You'll see. Dude, >> this guy's like, "What's marriage advice? Once you have a kid, this was the last date you went on, >> dude. When I did jiu-jitsu." >> That's what I'm talking about. >> That's the date Nina went to. >> Yeah, absolutely. Is a date. You guys are so stupid. Let's move on. >> Do jiu-jitsu together now?
10:52 >> Yes. >> No, he's just making ████ Why is this like a Why are you struggle busting on this story? Who cares? >> Is that not real? >> Is this like too personal? >> No, that's cool. >> No, it's because loser bart over here. >> No, I'm saying >> Yeah. What's the other person's life experience or opinion is something that we can talk about because otherwise it's like, hey, let me just make sure I say some stuff that'll constantly get this guy in trouble with his wife who watches the show. Let's keep on making sure that Anthony is a ████ and having sex with prostitutes in every country he's ever been to. That's the most important brand that we should keep talking about. What the heck? >> Let's just do that in every video. >> What are you talking about? >> More on a party that Anthony booked than anything you ever >> 100%. >> For sure. >> The Bart's a ████ loser. >> Why is it becoming this? >> No, it's just that times a million. Yeah. >> My ideal bachelor party would be we go find what the best Serta or Simmons
11:43 mattress that's good for REM sleeper and take a nap together. >> Why don't we just go to ████ the mattress store and then we just hang out there? Okay. We don't even buy a mattress. >> We just >> We'll find dad dad that ever dadded. >> Why the ████ >> I want a comfortable bed. >> I wish you were sitting here in just tidy whies like a like a true dad >> or saran wrap.
// end of tape