0:00 I had a full-time job and a side business. I thought I was like the ████ you know? And then so she was like, well, can you take care of rent? And I did the calculation and I'm like, how many piranhas do I got to sell? >> [laughter] >> Yeah, how many ecstasy pills and piranhas? Welcome back to another episode of Careful Boys. I wanted to know because I I was thinking about this for myself at a point, but um I was wondering like what You know, there's certain things that happen in your life and they help increase your confidence. And some of those things are almost like totems that you hang on to for the rest of your life that like that source of confidence will never be moved. Like this thing that happened, whether it was like you won something or you achieved A or B, whatever. Um and I wanted to know what some of those things were for you guys.
0:51 Uh for me it was not an achievement per se, but um as you guys know, like I went I talk about all the time that I kind of went through high school thinking I was a ████ idiot, like a total dumbass failure. I I'll never amount to anything. And then um the principal in in 2001 had like signed me up for some kind of like creativity award. Uh you don't get anything, you just get like literally like a piece of paper. But then like it allowed me to miss class. He's like, hey, you're going to have to like miss this one class on this day uh to come with me to this thing and I didn't know what he was talking about. And then um you know, this is me in 2001, grades are horrible. I have no uh achievements to speak of at all. Um I thought I was going to I was in in a danger of not even graduating. And then the the um principal brought me to this like
1:42 Bavarian Lodge or something. I guess he's a member of some lodge. And like every year they they try to like give an award of some sort to like a student somewhere. And then uh he brings me into this like literally looks like a lodge with a bunch of old white guys like sitting around in a a gigantic uh square table kind of deal and then um he goes up there and then he like announces me and then he tells me right there like he's on this podium in front of his lodge members and he's just like yeah, we're going to give this award to this student that I feel like is the most creative that I've like met during my time at this school. And then I have no other obvious like uh there's there's no reason why I should expect that type of thing and then he brought me up and I just gave a little thank you speech or whatever and then and he told me and he's like yeah, man. He's like I think he's like what I've noticed from you is that you uh you you probably haven't found what you're
2:32 like really good at yet. And that's it. >> So he saw star in you. Well, he saw like potential where like I had I was at the lowest of my personal potential belief. Like I was like I'm ████ The only schools I applied to didn't accept me like for colleges. You were in high school? Yeah, I was in high school, yeah. And I didn't know what I was going to do with my future whatsoever and this guy turned it around and he was only principal at the school for like 2 years. >> Did you give him your quest trophy to him? >> [laughter] >> No, he probably never even like checked back in to see where I was or whatever. He he had a career of his own. Like he was an author and I guess like it had come come out that he he was only a principal at our school to like uh complete his book or whatever. You know, so he once he was finished with that, he left after I left. I don't know where that guy ended up, but uh because of that one thing that's like a immovable
3:22 pillar of confidence that I have that like >> Winning the award? Well, yeah, just just like that somebody believed in me without cuz that guy barely interacted me. He would just like watch ████ from afar. He had no reason to be like this guy, you know, because I I didn't have any classes that he he wasn't aware of. Like he he was not a very present principal in that way, but I think he knew that like I just needed something like that. I think he really did give that to me. Like like man, you're you're probably like in a low and he just like was like this would help. And that's crazy to do, but that like turned around so much ████ for me. And because of that, I think I was able to have a strong enough foundation of like, "Okay, I may not be an A student. I may not be uh you know, a varsity athlete, but like I might have an edge somewhere else. I just got to find it." Yeah. So, that that for me was my pillar of confidence. What like areas of your life did you
4:13 have like a pillar that can't really be shaken even to this day? Uh the first one that comes to mind for me is uh during the Marine Corps boot camp. That was the first That's the one that comes to mind. Cuz like um like I think up to that point I didn't really finish too many things. Got kicked out a bunch of schools. And like even within when it comes to like sports, it was easy for me to drop out of stuff. Like I did a lot of things. I was in I was in Boy Scouts, didn't get Eagle Scout. Then I was like wrestling, and then I got into like raving, and I started finish the season. Like you know, just like there's I had like a lot of ideas. >> award for raving? Yeah. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. Like I had a lot of ideas, but nothing finished. Right. And then um I think going through boot camp, and then uh being away from home, and you're just with a bunch of other
5:03 dudes, and then I since I I had asthma like growing up, I always told myself I don't have good cardio. And then boot camp is very cardio intensive, but being able to kind of complete it, and especially Marine Corps boot camp, the culminating event is called the Crucible. And it's 3 days, you know, you do like 50 mi over 3 [snorts] days, sleep 3 hours, 4 hours, you climb this mountain. And then I remember just being pushed to my absolute limits. Is that the part where most people give up? The Crucible? >> Yeah, people just start falling off. Or fake injuries or whatever. But But during that part uh where I finally finished, and I literally gave it my all cuz I think most of the time you don't really know what your all is yet, you know? Unless you're like cuz there's no reason why you would be pushed that hard. It's like almost saying like, "Hey, do you know when the burn point of your skin is?" Like, I
5:53 don't know. No one ████ just holds a lighter there to find out when it is, right? Like, no one's actually like pushing themselves that hard. And so, when I found like where like the limit was, and then you kind of push past it a little, and push past it, and push past it, um no matter how hard things ever got, that would be like the the anchor point I would think back to. So, even when like um when me and Joe were doing like a tour in um in Australia, one of them I got crazy sick, I had a fever, and I think it would be easy for me, had I not done that, to just go, "Oh, yeah, like, let's just rearrange the show somehow." Cuz you know, I I have a fever, obviously like a 103 fever, and it'd be something everyone understand, right? Yeah, look, this guy's just sitting here, and he's just sweating for no reason. Um but I think because I was I'm able to think back, and I'm like, "Oh, this is like nothing. It sucks. I'm like, ████ literally having chills and
6:43 s███." >> Everyone was getting sick on that tour. >> Yeah. And I'm like, I And I'm like, I think when everyone's rehearsing in the green room, I'm like, just laying on the ground, just still like >> [laughter] >> you know, I'm just like ████ having chills and shivering and ████ But then I'm still thinking like, "Oh, this is kind of nothing compared to what I've been through." Yeah, cuz now you have a reference point. >> Yeah, so I'm like, "Oh, yeah, like, I just got to go up there, suck it up for like 20, 30 minutes. I think that's fine, and then I'll just rush back to hotel room and knock out." And so, like, I think having those things, it gave me a lot of confidence moving forward, um even with like having having Taika, like when uh cuz that's pretty rough the first 6 months, you know, you're like, baby's waking up every 2 hours, your sleep is ████ and you're just ████ like a zombie, both you and your wife are like a zombie. Yeah. But then I'm like, "Oh, I've been a zombie before." So, it's like it it helps you be able to kind of like navigate a lot of things, and and it That's like when I think back the most painful or the hardest physical
7:34 thing and mental, cuz they a lot of times they come together, that's what I think back to. That's a really good one to have on your belt, that you passed Marine Corps boot camp. That's the hardest one. Yeah. Yeah. Way easier than the civilian one that he's doing, right? They're army. He gets to have breaks. The one where he can text us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the hell, dude? Yeah, you were able to text while you were in boot camp, right? Phones weren't even invented back then, dude. >> [laughter] >> What about one of you guys? Anything that you can think of? >> Talked about this before, but it was usually stuff with uh like the fighting stuff for me, like there was all these moments where it was always a situation of man, I don't want to do this. This is really ████ hard. I don't think I could do this, right? That was like always kind of the feeling whenever I started something. So, when I first started training, it was like I thought I was going to be
8:24 a superstar. That ████ was the hardest like 6 months of my life, and I regretted it. As soon as I signed up, I was like, "What the ████ did I get myself into?" But, it was those feelings, and then just me just telling myself, "Just don't quit. Don't quit." And I think a lot, like everyone else at that age, you've been through so much where you've kind of like turned your back on, you kind of just took your ball and went home, and you quit. For me, it was really important that like I didn't quit. And then from there, it helped me propel into when I actually started fighting and competing and when I was getting I got in certain fights and I was getting beat up, and I just told myself, "Just don't quit. You can't quit. You can't quit." And that was the only thing that helped me get through that moment and actually be like, "Oh, ████ I won that fight? What the ████ I thought I got ████ up, right?" But, it was just always that moment of seeing that hard place, and then just
9:15 just trying to calm your internal dialogue. Because that for me, that's what was the most sabotaging thing. And um trying to keep that peace of mind, trying to stay, and just tell myself, "Just don't quit. Just don't quit. Don't quit." And I think having gone through those hard positions, then understanding that this was my process to get through it. And if I just hung in there, and I just focused, I can get through it. And that was a lot of confidence for me because you know, there's so many different points in my life where I was like, what the ████ am I going to do? >> It's like you proved yourself wrong when your doubt was like the loudest thing. Yeah. 100% and I like I think I got good at that cuz most of the time my my doubts are through the roof no matter what. Doubt man. Yeah, 100% and it was like it's almost like working against me but then I realized that sometimes it's like I thought I needed that always to
10:05 be able to push through but it was always a matter of just telling myself don't quit. Those are the the magic words in my head. Cuz you know, all the times I have quit, I was I regretted it. You know, >> Those are magic words though, don't quit. >> Just don't just keep going. >> if you keep going, just keep moving. Yeah. And I find that on my hardest days, that's what I tell myself, just don't ████ quit. Don't don't take your ball and go home. It's not worth it. There's And usually once you get through the other side, you're like, what the ████ was I even tripping about? >> Yeah. Right? And you just learn that's part of the deal. That's part of, you know, just going through life, right? But yeah. Wack. Go ahead, Joe. First time you got your bow eaten? Eaten? No? But oh, that was a big confidence booster. >> [laughter] >> You're like, yo, I asked for it and then it happened. I'm the master of my own universe. >> [laughter]
10:55 >> Now, I think this is like kind of basic, but I think like when you first take care of yourself, like meaning like you're an adult. Like you pay for everything. >> That's huge, yeah. That's a big one, dude. >> I think that happened when I was 20 or 21 or like cuz I used to live with my mom and she had to go to um Japan to take care of my grandma, but that also meant that like no, I'm going to pay rent. Like she's not going to pay rent while I'm there. She just didn't make enough. She had to go and then take care of my grandma and she's staying there and then she had to find a job and like do all that stuff. And her job wasn't like paying that much. So So I was just like, "Don't worry about it." Cuz at the time the reason why she felt like okay with it is I had a full-time job and a side
11:46 business. So I I thought I was like the ████ you know? And then so she was like, "Well, can you take care of rent?" I did the calculation and I'm like, >> piranhas do I got to sell? >> [laughter] >> Yeah, how many ecstasy pills and piranhas? Well, like I was making good money. I had a eBay business. >> Inventory all over the house. I was a assistant manager at a warehouse like a like a shipping company. Oh, cool. And I was like, yeah, 20 or 21 years old and then I wasn't back in school yet, but that's when Bart was I think you were. I don't know. We were friends back then, remember? But it was kind of a gray area and then I wasn't at school yet, but um This is when you were selling like the cars and BB guns with James. >> Yeah, with James, yeah. But at the same time I was working in um Torrance, remember that? >> Yeah, yeah. Arms dealer. >> Yeah. You want piranhas or BB guns? Which one do you want? Just side hustling. That's sick though, dude.
12:37 That's so cool. And this is before J- JK. Got some baby baby weed plants, too. >> Oh, man. >> Yeah, had weed. I had Little little grow up. Side hustler. That yeah, being like 21, 22 while my friends are still like living off of their parents and like and I had no way out. So I think that was scary cuz it was like, "F███, man. Like I don't know what I'm going to do." I probably would have couch surfed, but >> [snorts] >> Yeah, I think that from that point there was no turning back, right? And then um Yeah, having your own place, having, you know, and then just I think that's such a cool thing of like it is it is it is like uh it was out of nowhere. It was literally like she just gave me like a month notice, right? >> Damn. >> It was yeah. >> [snorts] >> But I've been earning a good amount for like a year. So then I think I she felt
13:27 like confident in me. But I think that first year of paying for ████ and like, you know, taking care of all the stuff like an adult and then like not having any parent or adult to help me with like, "How do you do this thing with, you know, your phone bill?" Or like, you just figure it out all on your own. And I think after that, I'm like, "I'm a I'm an adult now, dude." That's pretty big, yeah. I could survive on my own. That's a huge one, though. But after that, it was there was no more like, "Hey, I guess I'm fending for myself." >> is just jumping into the deep end. >> Yeah. And just being like, "Oh, I could float here a little bit. Okay, it's not that bad." >> You know how most people want to move out? I never wanted my mom to move out. >> [laughter] >> And I'm not like a ████ mama's boy. It's just she's just a chill person. Like, >> Is Is nice having mom at home, though.
14:18 >> Yeah. But she doesn't cook. She doesn't do any of the mom ████ >> Laundry? She does laundry. >> That's That's a That's the best part. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's almost worth it. Right, that's true. >> No, but I would watch Korean dramas with her and we have dinner. >> That's cute. >> And things get sorted and cleaned up, too. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My room was dirty, but the house was clean. >> [laughter] >> And it was just nice to have someone to talk to like in the house. Like it was it get it got pretty lonely in there. That's so cool. But I think cuz our relationship by that time, it just felt more like roommates and like rather than like she's my mom. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, when she was leaving, I was like, "Man, that ████ sucks. Like our relationship just got good and now you're like, [laughter] you know, you're piecing out." >> Now you're breaking the lease. Yeah. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. But also, I needed it to grow Yeah. cuz
15:08 there's just so many things that I didn't ████ do. Like clean, like laundry, like that is just I still didn't do. But you know what I mean? Like Yeah, yeah. You notice all the ████ that yeah. But that is pretty crazy, 1 month to put your big boy pants on and just that's it. Yeah, it probably took me ████ 10 years to actually be a big boy, but [laughter] yeah. That is something that will make you confident to take on the rest of the world. You get your own house in order at that at that age. >> Cuz you'll have friends that are like struggling into their 30s cuz they're so dependent on their family. And then I'm just like I'm glad I ripped off the band-aid hella early on. >> That's very early in my opinion. Even though even even 21? That's to me was I I was still pretty dependent. I didn't know what the ████ I was doing yet. >> I wish I could have been a ████ basement dweller till I was 35. Like it's the easiest life ever. Sounds chill,
15:59 dude. Well, let us know in the comments below if you would like to share with anybody in the community any of your pillars of confidence. And share with us as well if you're a member of Patreon, just hit us up in the Discord. Okay, bye.
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