0:00 All right, I'm going to tell you guys a little bit of a story on how and after I tell you this, please share your own on how your shortest relationship hurt harder than some of your longer ones when you lost them. So, this was my absolute shortest relationship that I'd ever been in. Basically, it was like the summer of sophomore year. I I always wanted to get with this one Korean girl and I asked her out like right before school ended and she said, "Yes." And I was like, "No ████ way. She actually wants to date me?" Cuz she was like very clean-cut Korean, like very pretty. At the time, I was like 10 times sloppier than I am now. >> Is this like a church Korean? >> She went to the same high school, yeah. So, they they were church You actually probably would know her, Joe. And then she So, we dated and I was like, "This is my
0:50 girlfriend for the summer." And then I went, "Oh, ████ That's actually not good because I don't have a car. How am I going to see her in the summer? I live in Downey and she lives in somewhere in the SUV." Uh so, then we The only time we got to kick it was if like friends of ours would like pick one of us up, you know, kind of like you got to rely on other people to do it. She wasn't really feeling that and then one night she like gave me that call and was just like, "Hey, it's not going to work." >> the HR call? >> Yeah, and I think it was after like 2 weeks. >> Oh. >> She gave me that call and was just like, "Yeah, I'm I I can't do this." And I was like so heartbroken cuz I had like such high hopes for it. And then And I was like, "No, you can't be serious. No way." >> You reacted like that on the phone? >> Yeah, I was like, "Oh, ████ no." I was like really like, "Oh, god." Cuz I was like 15. >> [laughter] >> I was like, "Good lord, no. It's been 2
1:40 weeks. Please, god. I haven't had enough yet." >> What can I do? What can I possibly do? >> Yeah, because I don't even think I don't even remember if we had even like make We didn't make out for sure. Nothing happened yet and I was so excited about it. Plus, it kind of was like an up on my rep, if that makes sense. Like I was dating up by getting her, so like helped me out image-wise, uh which is a funny way to look at it. So, she breaks up with me, I'm devastated, and I'm like, "Man, all because I couldn't see her this summer." Like, what a stupid thing. I end up um enrolling in summer school at Don Bosco Tech because I'd failed algebra again for like the second time. So, I had to take it again there. >> [snorts] >> And uh my first day of summer school, I see her there. >> Wait, I thought it was all boys school. >> I thought it was an all boys school, too. In the summer, it's co-ed. >> Woah. >> Only in the summers a co-ed. Out of all the people there, they only had three
2:30 girls. She was one of the girls. >> Well, she was probably popular. >> I had to see her three to four times a week the whole summer. >> But did she ignore you? >> She didn't want to talk to me. >> What? >> I had to watch all the dudes in the whole summer school try to get with her. And some and some of them they would all be hanging out with her. I had to see that every day I went there. >> And you had to see the ick for you. That's almost like if you dated Bonnie Blue. >> Well, guys don't really want Bonnie Blue, though. >> No, that's like if you dated her and then you wanted her and then you're just watching her getting railed. >> And I'm watching her like have the pick of the litter. Like, she's with the tallest, most good-looking Asian guy one day, then with the tallest white guy like walking Then they're like walking with her like >> No! That could have been me! >> Cuz it's an all boys school in the normal school year, so they're like slobbering over her. And they're just like at her every beck and call just servicing her. And I'm just there like, "Hey, you know, that
3:20 was my girlfriend for like 2 weeks, right?" And like no one gives a ████ Nobody gives a ████ >> So, that means it she didn't break up because of the the distance cuz of that that >> she broke up with me cuz I was a loser, to be honest. >> Really? >> the ick. >> What do you think happened? >> I think she just realized I was a loser. >> Well, like she thought you were really cool and then she she was like, "You're not that Ryan that I thought you were." >> I think I was really cool in school, and then when summer hit, she knew I was a ████ loser. >> Maybe she wanted to see more break dancing. >> Yeah. It's It's much to say that you're the you're a really cool guy in a 7th Day Adventist high school of 200 people. Like that's not that cool. But then, you know, when you get out in the real world and you're just kind of this nobody and you don't have a car and all these other Korean dudes have cars and they're all cool and have money. >> They'll have ████ Mercedes and ████ >> Mercedes and ████ I have nothing. Like I think she's like, "What did I just
4:11 do?" So like But then I had to see her every day anyway and she never talked to me the whole time. >> Did you ever try? Were you like at least like being like I miss you. I miss you. >> A little bit. A little bit I did that a little bit. I was from a distance like, "F███." You know, and and like and like word probably got back to her that like, "Hey, this guy says he dated you. This ████ loser." Cuz I was nobody there too. I didn't know anybody in that school. I had no I had no friends yet. So I was just like, "God damn it." Every day, bro, I would see her. I would get there at the same time as her three to four times a week. >> And you feel those old tinglies? I remember I remember all that, man. >> I just listened to ████ slow jams and just like >> Yeah, what do you feel like it did to you? >> What it did to me? >> Did it make you Omicron? >> No. >> [laughter and gasps] >> You know, was that the birth of Omicron? >> No, but I think it it it made me just realize how like I just don't I think it what what it did is it made me realize
5:01 that the school is so small. That like you can't think you're the ████ when you go to ████ 7th Day Adventist high school. Like that world is so tiny. So then it made me feel like, "Damn, I step out I need to make more friends outside of school." And I made after that I made way more friends outside of San Gabriel Academy cuz I'm like, "I can't have my whole life here." >> That unlocked his his his extroverted party self. >> A little bit. I think it did, yeah, a little bit. >> And it became party rock. >> Cuz you're like, "I can't find no more ████ here, but there must be more out there in the frontier." >> Cuz you just like you're just like a maximum dork if you're like, "Oh, wow, I'm the coolest guy in this little ass school." You know what I mean? How it is? It's like you don't really have any equity. >> That's not maximum dork because there's also dorks that aren't the coolest guy at that school. >> [laughter] >> So that's actually the maximum dork. >> Yeah. Like if you're the coolest guy at the small school, that's not maximum
5:51 dork. >> And I wasn't even the coolest guy at that school. It's just that there was a better influence when I'm there. Like, in in in that school, in front of her, I look cooler than I do outside, you know, where I don't know anybody. >> Against good Christian boys, it's not that hard to be a bad boy. >> the same as like a, you know, a decent-looking girl just having ugly friends, and then now you're really good-looking. >> Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but she was better than me in almost every way. She was like prettier, cooler. >> Sheesh, buddy. Who is this ████ >> And me at 15 was pretty gross, and I had acne. >> Aw, my dog. >> [laughter] >> And I had braces. >> Aw. >> Yeah, so everything about me was like pretty weird, yeah. And I was annoying, and I was cocky, too. So, it's like my personality sucked. >> [laughter] >> What happened when you got on TV, though? You think she was like, "Ah, I ████ up."
6:41 >> I don't think she could she didn't give a ████ I don't think so. >> She's like, "He doesn't have a car." >> What if she's like >> I dated him for 2 weeks. >> Cuz you know the Korean track of what's cool as you grow up? It's not ████ like that. >> It's having a BMW at 16 years old. >> Exactly. It's like >> Yeah, how many pieces of Armani do you have in your ████ closet? >> It's like dating someone at at a Charles Schwab or something. Like, that's way cooler. >> Yeah. What What does your cologne smell like? >> Yeah. I don't think I ever became anything that was cooler to her. As funny as that sounds. I think like as like that that Korean circle of friends eventually broke off and went all Korean, and then everything they liked was Korean, all the people that they thought was cool. >> Korean number one. >> Yeah. >> It's kind of funny how that always happens. >> It's like you meet your Korean group, and you leave us. >> Do you remember uh Julie Ha? >> That's who I was thinking about. >> Julie Ha's best friend. Well, yeah, that's who it was. >> Oh, well, it wasn't her. >> No, it wasn't Julie Ha. >> No, ████ though. >> Interesting.
7:32 >> Somebody catching shade today. >> Helps a lot. >> For me For me, it was this chick that I was I was into since high school, since like the beginning of high school, and then over the years of high school, I finally wiggled my way in and like she liked me, but I didn't know she liked me cuz again, acne kid. I eventually got on Accutane, my skin cleared up and then I think she started to like me cuz my skin wasn't terrible. >> Yeah, she could see your face finally. >> Yeah, she could see my actual face. And she was like, "Oh, I think I like this guy cuz he's funny and stuff." And then I remember I moved to LA, which is kind of cool cuz you're I was in San Diego, sleepy ████ retirement town. I moved to LA to do all this cool like actor stuff. I didn't know about YouTube yet, didn't exist. And then um I was like, "Hey, you should come visit me. Like I'm going to be there cuz I'm doing all this cool acting s███." >> Swag. >> And then she was like, "Yeah, I'll I'll come." And so she came and met me.
8:22 >> And came on you. >> No, I wish. She So, this is the worst part. We went to this hotel called the Saharan, which is used to be on like Hollywood-ish or Sunset. And it's really s█████ hotel. And I was like, you know, we'll stay here tonight or whatever. >> Like on the rock and roll strip of Sunset? >> Exactly. And I was like, "We're going to stay here tonight." And [snorts] she was down. And we get there and we're there and we go have pizza and then we go back to the hotel. And then we just talk and I probably talked her ████ ear off and she talked my ████ ear off and we didn't do anything cuz I didn't make any moves and that was the thing. And then the next I wake up the next day and I was like, "We're just friends, you know, all this stuff." And I just like had an out-of-body experience like a week later and I was like, "Oh my god, that was my ████ chance. I completely blew it." >> You were trying to be too gentlemanly? >> I was exactly. >> Oh god. >> being mister I'm the we're friends and I don't want to ████ anything up. >> I don't want to be a creep like those other guys. >> And we're friends.
9:12 >> But you have a hotel room that she drove up to sleep in with you. Tell me the ████ about it. >> [laughter] >> That's what I'm saying. >> You know what? You're mister mayor. >> So you think it's mayor? >> No, I think I think it's like everything you're adding onto the plans just makes another chance to be like, "And how cool if I wasn't a creep at all even though we're staying at this hotel." >> Exactly it. That's unfortunately exactly it. >> you you felt like you friend zoned yourself to her and then >> I basically said to her >> Oh. we're buds. >> Yeah. >> Instead of like trying to make a move. >> Even though you're like into her, you don't want her to think yeah. >> He's winning the campaign. >> You think it's campaign? >> [laughter] >> Wait, wait, how is this mayoral at all? >> See you, dude. Calling someone mayor is even more funny when it doesn't have any bearing. >> [laughter] >> I don't think it's unless I'm like our audience is Ben Shapiro fans, I don't think it's cool to be like I'm a ████
10:02 virgin and I don't ████ >> [laughter] >> So, you're campaigning to her. >> No, I'm not. I'm saying I ████ up. >> point is that he regrets doing that. So, he can't be mayor. It's like >> I'm just saying I'm voting for him right now. >> [laughter] >> Don't pull that lever. I'd be a s█████ mayor. Don't do it. >> I see what you did. I did I did the same thing many times. >> It's just so stupid. >> I want to seem so different from all the other guys that I just don't do anything. >> I just don't want to seem like a predator or nothing and then she just goes cool. So, he doesn't even have a dick or whatever. >> Yeah. ████ >> Yeah, he's a eunuch. This guy has nothing. Yeah, no balls. >> Oh, he wanted to be my gay best friend. >> Exactly. Yeah, exactly. >> So, she just drove back down to San Diego the next day? >> Yeah, man. >> By herself without getting any dick. She drove all the ████ way. >> Literally nothing. She got like two slices of pizza with me and then went home. It's insane.
10:52 I just no game. No game. No game. >> At least she's like hey, Steve's a nice guy. >> Yeah. I'd rather be known as a ████ grapist, dude. >> [laughter] >> It's just you just feel like such a ████ after that. >> Yeah, I know what you mean. >> That is a better reputation. >> Is it? Than a mayor? >> ████ were sending Dahmer letters. Just saying. >> And the Night Stalker, too. Yeah. >> And the Night Stalker and Luigi. >> Yeah. But I can see why that would hurt so much even though it wasn't a >> Would you rather that situation or let me see if I can one-up you. I was this is like one of my first trips ever, maybe 20 like 11. Uh I'm newly single. And I am in like Italy. And one of my old dance team members, she happens to be
11:43 kind of like a airy-fairy traveling like go around the world on like little money but life experiences. She happened to cross through this area of this little town in Italy. So I'm like, "Yo, what what are the chances? We should link up, of course, you know, go hang out, vibe, drink some wine." Or you know, next thing you know, it's like suddenly we're in back in my hotel room. Next thing you know, there's some making out and it's like rolling around a little bit, you know? And then there's a pause and she's like, "What are we doing?" And then I go, "Yeah." And then it stopped. The whole thing, the momentum just stops. Yeah. >> Whoa. >> You just like froze up? >> know. I It was one of those like I don't I don't know what that "What are we doing?" was. Like, what is that? Is it
12:34 like a >> She should have said magic, bro. You didn't know what that's a setup for. >> Yeah. >> Oh. >> know if it was like a keep going or stop or or like I don't like this or >> "What are we doing?" is sort of ambiguous, though. >> That's what I'm saying. >> Yeah. She could have been looking for reassurance, too, but you don't know. >> Girls love that ambiguity, though, so they don't look like ████ >> But same thing, I didn't want to, you know, become especially cuz we also have other friends, too. We're in a a circle, you know, cuz we're old teammates. So it turned into like, "Yeah." >> Um yeah. >> What are we doing? What are we doing anyway as humans? I'm sure you said, bro. >> As the duality of humans. >> the earth. >> [laughter] >> You do your duality of man bit? If you really think about it, it's like, "Oh god, here we go about ████ pollution." >> [laughter] >> Are we two animals just fondling each
13:24 other or do we mean something? >> Wow, so then it just like fizzled out. >> Yeah. >> Damn. >> What are we doing? >> Sex. >> Why don't we figure it out? >> What would you say? What would Anthony Lee of today say though? >> Now, yeah, the the sexual >> man. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. >> I think he'd say, "I'll show you, baby." >> Yeah, what's sexual Lee got to say? >> Yeah, sexual Lee. >> I feel like >> [laughter] >> I feel like the older Well, no, that's going to That's you're setting me up here. You're >> If you tell anybody about this, I'll ████ kill you. >> [laughter] >> Marty Hart, suck it off now. >> [laughter] >> Well, it ain't going to suck itself. >> I like it when you resist. >> You still think I'm running for mayor now? You going to vote for me? ████ >> You're not even eligible anymore. >> [laughter] >> I'm on a list. >> You're on Megan's law again. >> Back on Megan's law. >> Come on, Anthony. What would you say? >> What are we doing? What are we doing?
14:15 >> Now? Now, well, I feel like I feel like things like uh hooking up or sex and stuff was such a big deal that with the younger you were. Where Whereas now >> That's what you would say? >> No, no, no. I'm >> [laughter] >> the electric >> You know, at our age, we're adults here. We're not that young anymore. >> Just say the dialogue what you would say. I'm going to go, "What are we doing?" >> I'll be like, "Shh." >> [laughter] >> Oh, tight. >> Hell yeah. And just keep going. Yeah. >> That's probably the best answer. See, the king, dude. >> King of gaslight. >> The freaking king, dude. >> What do you think she was worried about? Just like ruining your friendship or >> It's that random >> Yeah, there's >> Yeah, the reassurance or >> She wants the assurance that it's you doing it, not her. >> Yeah, yeah, but then that puts it in a weird place because you have mutual friends. >> What was the inflection of the "What are you doing?"
15:05 >> That's what I'm saying. I don't know. I And I lose sleep about it still. >> What do you mean you have mutual friends? Like you didn't want them to judge >> team together. So, our friends are the same friends. So, if we go somewhere and something happens or it's >> Oh, like it's awkward after. >> Yeah. >> It messes with the mutuals. >> Yeah, yeah, the ecosystem. >> Yeah. >> Since you have mutual friends now, isn't it still awkward that you guys almost did it? >> No. No, because I don't think almost is is a conversation. You don't go home you're like, "Dude, >> remember that time where we almost >> What are we doing? >> Almost takes more effort to spread around than like >> Which is actually the better move in retrospect cuz it's also just sex, too. Like, having it or not having it doesn't matter, but if that means there's no awkwardness forever, that's also great, too. >> That would That would be more awkward for me. >> Yeah. Compared to me, you hit a home run ████ grand slam out of the stadium, dude. I didn't even do anything. I just slept in twin beds opposite her like
15:55 ████ idiot. >> had two slices of pizza. >> Yeah, like it sucked ass. >> You also got separate beds? >> Yeah. I mean, I was just being a gentleman ████ Might as well have a tuxedo on the entire night. >> You should have just booked her own room. >> I'm voting for you again, man. Megan's law or not. >> Nobody wants to vote for that guy. Nobody votes for the eunuch. >> Should have booked a separate room for her. >> [laughter] >> Oh my god. >> Couldn't afford it.
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