0:05 Welcome back to Careful Boys. Today we are debating which Careful Boy is the fakest Asian. >> Fakest Asian. Damn. The fake Asian awards. >> Yeah. >> What? >> Throw my name in. >> I think the easiest one is Nick. >> Why? >> And you got to scoot over. I literally just told you scoot over and scoot. >> Oh, also his last name is not even Asian. It's done. >> I don't speak any Asian language. >> 100%. Easy. Easy peasy. You don't speak Chinese. >> You don't think it's Anthony? >> No. >> Nah, he's way more Asian than I. >> I think the minute the minute your parents speak English to you >> Yeah. >> You are that much more Americanized in your upbringing >> and and in my household they spoke English to me >> cuz I could barely speak it accent. >> No, >> your dad speaks perfect English, right? >> He sound Yeah, he has perfect he could
0:55 he could write in Mandarin. He could read in Mandarin. He can speak. He's fluent in Mandarin. >> So he's like, >> "What the heck?" >> He's fluent in Mandarin, but he doesn't have an accent. >> Yeah. And then So Ta is like Nick. So Ta is going to grow up having like maybe 10% Asian roots. >> And then my mom and my mom is from Singapore. She speaks English, >> right? >> She speaks very good English with almost a British twang to it. You know what I mean? So it's like, >> do you feel like you weren't Asian enough? >> But you got treated Asian >> sometimes. cuz he was the he was a token Asian guy [laughter] took to my school growing up. So I was reminded constantly general self. >> You live the Asian experience. >> Was there a bully who's like hey math boy do my homework. >> Yeah kind of. Well people would try to copy off me and I was like I don't know dude. [laughter] >> I'm copying off of April Nishi Naka in
1:45 FRONT OF ME LIKE so good luck brother. I was like if I could see it you can copy off mine. Um, but like you know, it's funny. I was >> I remember growing up forever anytime I was I I had like a yearbook. Everybody would always be like, "You're my favorite Asian." They would mention that I was Asian and [laughter] everything. >> Damn, that's pretty good, dude. >> Oh, you're the coolest Asian guy I know. Like, whatever the ████ right? >> Just be Nick. It's like that's really funny, dude. >> I was ████ Asian. And then I didn't get real Asian friends until I like left high school. >> So, like I didn't really hang out with a lot of Asian. You didn't have that many Asians in your high school that >> I'm going to pass. We had one Japanese dude, but he was the star of the basketball team cuz he played Bruin League and the whole team was all a bunch of black dudes, you know? So, he was a practically a black Japanese guy >> cuz he grew up probably playing JLeague,
2:35 huh? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Wait, so before that, like your junior high, all that, what was it? Mostly like white and black or >> Yeah, it was white and black. We had more Asian kids there. It was white, black, and then couple Koreans and then but yeah, everybody would remind me that I was Asian all the time >> because the Koreans are FOBs, too. So, they're off the radar >> kind of. Some of the the Koreans were FOBs. Like, I had a couple Korean friends in uh in middle school, but then when I went to high school, they were all gone. I had to replace them for Filipino friends. Blaian Filipino guys. >> So, you really didn't have like Asian friends. So, is does this is this making your case that you're the fakest Asian? >> Probably. I didn't start when like when you when I would come hang out with you guys and David, I was like, "You guys would talk about growing up Asian." I was like, "Oh, okay." Yeah. Same, same, same. >> Oh, so you had similar experiences, but you didn't have the friends to be like
3:25 >> You just did a solo run. [laughter] >> Yeah. I was on single player arcade mode. Yeah. Yeah. And I got internet. >> I heard that from like fans when we travel to do like shows in, I don't know, the Midwest or whatever. And then they have clubs like China club or some ████ right? And they'll be like, "Dude, when I went to school, I was the only Asian kid. Everyone was black or whatever." And then they're like, "I would just watch your videos." Cuz I was like, "Man, thank God there's like other people that ████ go through the same s███." And I'm like, like what? Like domestic abuse? Like you you're I don't know. Like everyone goes through that ████ I'm just trying to figure out like what are those things that are like oh yeah I I feel like I'm the only one going through that >> but I don't know like you cuz I don't know to me I've been around a ton of Asians you know so it was it was never
4:16 like a thing of like >> just like Asian mom parenting stuff like how critical like I a lot of the kids I would would relate with were um were like the Mexican kids cuz like culturally it's very similar like the values are very similar This is a different language, but the the rules are nice. >> But there's way more love in their household. >> That's true. You know, [laughter] that's true. You're like, I'll be like, "Man, your mom's real like everyone's mom was like, "Man, your mom's real nice." Growing up, I can never bring friends over because my mom would always criticize them for like how they greeted you or how they came over. Like, it would always be a thing. So, I was like, "Man, I'm not going to have no friends over." >> When I when I first started living with uh by myself, >> I remember um it was me. I think maybe Joe was there, the guy, the other guy has his tattoo was there, my other buddy Richard was there, whatever. We're all there, right? And we're all just hanging out. Bunch of boys watching TV. And then
5:08 people had like feet on the coffee table, everyone's hanging out. And my mom comes in and then my mom's like, and I remember she was like, "Are your friends orphans?" [laughter] And I was like, "That's why." She's like, "Why are they all savages?" >> And I'm like, "Why?" And then she's like, "How come no one stood up at attention to greet me?" >> And then I'm like, "B████, >> all these rules, right?" >> Yeah. I'm like, "The Queen of England, dude. >> Goddamn ████ rules. Everyone's ████ American at all." >> But going like this. Oh, hey. Hey, Mrs. Who? That's like She's like, she's like, "Oh my god, are you poor child? You don't know. You don't know the rules of the British ways." Like that's how she is, you know. >> On the same tip, the same exact tip, I had this one friend. He came over. He had stuff in his right hand. He shook my mom's hand with his left hand. Should
5:58 have put it down. >> Yeah. Switch hands. >> Disrespect, man. >> My mom My mom goes, "Is your friend ████ ████?" [laughter] >> He's like, "He comes in. Who comes to someone's house and shakes with her left hand? Who does this?" You know, like she goes with this whole tyrant and I'm like, "F███, bro. I'm never having friends over ever." So, like, and like just stuff like that. My mom would always just be so brutal about >> ████ Chinese ass moms. >> Yeah. all these unwritten rules. But my dad was would be like, "Yeah, whatever." [laughter] >> I'm going go to my garage. Yeah. Do whatever. Whatever. >> That is the thing about dads. They don't even care to meet your friends. They're like, "What? I give a f███." >> Yeah. They're all gay. Anyways, >> you sell pot. [laughter] >> You don't sell pot. All right. >> I was going to say Anony's the fakest Asian. >> Why? >> How is he the fake? >> Uh just cuz he's Anthony generally. That's like my angle. >> And he's pretty [laughter] he's pretty fake, too.
6:48 >> I thought you could read it. trying so hard branding everything so Asian around him. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] >> So he's like the general s Panda Express. >> I mean he's the last guy who wore a rice hat seriously around us. [laughter] >> Yeah. He's the he's the last guy to do Asian cultural appropriation and try to monetize off it. That's for sure. Yeah. >> He pulls his eye back pretty bad. Like he does it too often. >> Um out of us you could argue that I could be the fakest Asian because I'm not I'm Filipino. >> How is that? >> Cuz it's like slightly different, you know? Like we're we're >> just like more Spanish and Catholic influence. >> Well, cuz like I mean we I grew up in the same like circles. Everybody I ████ knew was Asian goddamn near the whole like high school all the way to college. >> Uh the only time I wasn't around Asian was for Downey cuz it's all Mexicans. >> But everything I did and uh church, school, social, it's all Asian. But it's
7:40 slightly different from the Filipino side, right? It's not We're not speak We're all speaking English. We don't have like we're not bilingual like you guys. We're not eating weird foods like you guys. We're just eating junk food and ████ And >> oh, you guys don't speak Tagalog at home and all that. >> ████ though, dude. There's hell that would be I'm not a fob. [laughter] >> There was a way more I think I think there's a bigger dividing line in the '9s between Filipinos and FOBs. Like we did not get along with like people that were legit Filipino. >> So your whole family communicates in English? They >> like broken English, right? >> Well, no, they speak English, but it's it's a thing where they with intent raised my generation of Filipinos to not have accents so we don't get bullied. >> Oh. >> Because they were they were dealing with being hazed at work in all these hospitals. So, they made it that
8:31 generation made it their actual prerogative to be like, "All right, we're going to raise a bunch of kids that speak perfect English, can assimilate very easily into all these communities." That's the whole reason why I think Filipinos get along with everybody is not purely because of oh they're just cool. It's because they're raised with that mission in mind to be like get along with everyone and blend the ████ in. >> Filipinos are cool too still. >> Yeah. They're not like you don't go around being like oh I'm going to hang only with Filipinos and do this and that. Like your parents pretty much would set you off like no don't talk like us. Like don't have the accent. Like go get your own accent. >> My father-in-law sounds like every regular dude in America. like just I think it's because of that. >> Yeah, I think that could I think that's why Filipinos could be in terms of fake Asian. That's to me that is a little bit of a fake Asian. Like yeah, we're Asian-American and that's so isolated as
9:23 its own thing, but like for just Asian without the American, >> not really. I mean, >> we're not that connected to the roots >> to a lot of Japanese Americans >> that like that were in the camps. They made it a mission to stop appearing like a foreigner. >> Yeah. >> So they're like, "We're not we're gonna we're gonna have all our kids join military or politics or something that can't put us in the camps anymore. We're all going to speak English." So that's like >> pre-1950s Japanese, but then 1980s Japanese, they're just connected to the roots. It's different. But did Japanese uh people fe like were they not hanging out with actual Japanese people the way that Filipinos in the 90s didn't kick it with FOBs? >> No, they they still kicked it with only
10:14 >> That's the thing that's different. I think like the mission that was stuck in your head to like be American >> caused Filipino Americans to not get along with Filipino Filipinos. >> Cuz it was like oh that's kind of that's gross or that's kind of foggy. Like it was so derogatory that it was like you you like say something kind of Fabby on accident and everyone makes fun of you. >> Gotcha. >> Like like it was very different. And I think that's kind of dead now. I think it's gone like >> thankfully. But like that was like a funny stigma in the '90s that people would always say like you could look Fabby and that was unattractive. >> It's kind of messed up >> cuz people just going up to you yelling China, China, China or some ████ >> Not China. It just it just was a thing where you're you're you're trying to like you're trying to avoid something your parents ran into that you probably wouldn't have. >> Oh, okay. >> Your parents are Asian parents are so strong with like this happened to me. Don't let it happen to you. But by the
11:04 time they're teaching you, times are different already. So you're like here trying to enforce a ████ protection over something that's not attacking you. So you end up with like this weird All it made was it turned us into bigots of our own people. >> You know what I mean? cuz it was like, "Oh, I want to be American so bad because my mom and dad need me to be." >> I see. >> And then in this ████ pursuit of being American, I'm not even getting along with other Filipinos is ████ ████ >> I see. >> Crazy. My mom, I wish I experienced that, but my mom was the opposite. She was like, "How do I make people more Chinese?" >> She wanted the world to be Chinese, trying to convert. >> Yeah. Like, so if we're like at ████ like Macy's or like Robinson's May and ████ right? It's like a legit ass store. She's like, >> "What's your best price?" >> And then they're like, "Oh, ma'am, it's
11:55 uh it's $12.99." No, I know your best price. [laughter] Can't ████ handle here. It's not a ████ Chinese swap meet. Or like if our neighbor comes out, you know, like on Chinese New Year Day, like to them it's a random day in January or February, like >> February 12th. >> Yeah. Like, where's your red jacket? And then they're like, "Uh, what do what do you mean? It's Chinese New Year." And then so she's like going out like spreading ████ I'm like, "Shut the ████ up, please. God ████ damn. I want to assimilate." But she's like everywhere she goes, she's like influencing ████ >> She's She's doing God's work. >> She's ████ strong. >> Yeah. It was so different. That's I think that's the reason why statistically Filipinos have reached nearperfect assimilation in terms of like in terms of uh financial stats how it's like oh like the average Filipino is like uh doing better than like the average white guy or some ████ in some
12:46 communities because of that because >> I always thought Filipinos had this cool factor out of all the Asians where they didn't stand out in a bad way. They always like were like the ones where like well >> they're always dating good-looking girls. the they all like look good in fashion and like the guys and girls know how to dress well and then there's it's not like their level of cool you know how like Asian cool like they have their own world but it's like it does not match like western cool >> I think that's why I think it's the assimilation it's the fact that like they they were quicker to embrace American culture so they know they know what's cool because they're actively trying to find it >> like the first thing that my friends ever saw when they came over to my house was a ████ miniature temple inside the house. >> Yeah. See, I wouldn't >> like ████ incense, you know? I'm like
13:37 I'm like, "Dude, can we get rid of this s███?" Like, no one got like It looks like we worship demons and ████ Put it in the bedroom. [laughter] >> I'm like, "God ████ damn, dude." >> Did Did any of you guys have bonsai trees or anything like stereotypical like that? >> No. >> Just Chinese stuff. >> Yeah. >> You guys have a shrine or no? >> No. >> No. Right. That's too crazy. >> At my grandma's house, we did. >> Yeah. like ████ like that. As soon as you walk in, there's two ████ glowing red things, ████ incense. And I'm like, >> dude, we look like we we're a ████ wh house or something. [laughter] >> It's like when you go to like your your in-laws, you don't see a bunch of Filipino ████ Chances are you go to a Filipino house that's really traditional. You'll see Chinese ████ >> Oh, that's true. There's no like it's not as strong of a thing like where you have a bunch of weird >> my father-in-law like he'll you know
14:27 he's Filipino for those of you who don't know and he'll like if it's rainy he goes outside gets the American flag and like folds it up and like puts it in away and ████ >> wow >> yeah I don't even think to do >> does the triangle fold all correct and ████ >> I think so I yeah he's crazy he's like a Cuz he's a little he's a Navy kid you know >> I see that's so cool >> you didn't even serve but that that's what his dad had him do >> is stereotypical to the Philippines join >> theavy Yeah, [laughter] there's hell of Filipino. >> I didn't even realize it until you mentioned it that most Filipino gatherings, like if I go to their invited to their house or whatever, >> everyone's speaking English, but when I go to other Asians, like >> they're speaking their mother tongue >> and that's it. So, I was like, I didn't realize that. I was like, "Oh ████ that's true." I don't think I've been to a place where like it's just all like whatever their Filipino dialect is and then when they talk to me in English or
15:17 whatever. I haven't been to any household like that. My family used to flip the switch. They'd be talking, cackling. I walk in. >> Yeah. >> Oh, hey, come eat. >> Oh, for the kids. >> For all the Yes. For me especially, they were really, really strong. Both my mom and dad be ████ arguing, talking. I walk in, they >> It's like you hit the sap button on your old school TV and they just switch languages. >> They would never talk to me in in Tagalog. Even if like for one word, they would just use English. >> You understand it? >> Yeah. >> I understand when they're telling me something. Yeah. But not like >> you can't speak. ████ no, dude. No. >> If you hear somebody speaking to Goll, do you kind of get the gist of it? >> It depends. It would have to have words that I know. I I'm not I'm not good with vocab.
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